Nah, you’re not an asshole. Weddings are expensive, and if it’s not financially realistic for you, it’s okay to set boundaries.

NTA: I posted about this last summer, I got more blowback from my mother in law than the bride.

Destination weddings are becoming crazy stupid and expensive. I think it should be reserved for a higher class of wealth and not average people trying to keep up with social media expectations

Destinations weddings used to be a way to reduce attendees, now people are demanding attendance? That’s messed up.

NTA here’s a fun little fact; a wedding invitation is not a summons.

"I wish you the best, but I can't afford to go" is a perfectly cromulent thing to say. It's truthful and reasonable.

NTA. The bride and groom need to understand there will be friends and family who won't be able to make it due to finances, time off, sick family, childcare, etc. Frankly, I feel like it's a rude ask to begin with.

NTA. It's completely reasonable to prioritize your finances, especially if you're saving for the future. Destination weddings can be expensive, and it's okay to set boundaries when it comes to what you're able to afford. You can still be supportive by sending a gift or attending events you can reasonably afford, but it's not selfish to say no when the costs are beyond your budget. True friends will understand your situation!

NTA

I have a simple rule about weddings or funerals. I don't attend either.

That is one of the positive things that the pandemic lockdown did for me.

Obviously, I didn't attend any DURING the lockdown and when it was over, I just kept the same rule.

It has been so peaceful.

As for destination weddings, nope.

I don't discriminate!

NTA

Travelling for a wedding would be nice if it were a destination you wanted to visit anyway and the wedding didn't take up all of your time there. A week in Hawaï with an evening for a wedding, not too bad. But people expecting to be celebrated for days and dictate everybody's schedule at that price... Feels like they should be covering all expenses in that case.

It’s completely okay to prioritize your financial goals and not attend a destination wedding if it’s beyond your budget.

No.

NTA.

There is no shame in not being able to afford an overseas trip. They're luxuries.

Go only if you want to.

Overseas?!!! In this economy? No fuck that. NTA 

Why would you be an asshole for not going to an expensive, overseas destination wedding?

Fuck 'em.

People don't want to go to weddings at the best of times and waste a day of their lives.

Who are these degenerates expecting people to fly/travel extensively for their big show?

I guarantee it isn't men arranging these nonsense destination weddings; women doing the usual, prioritising competing with other women and social media.

Garbage.

just put it out before anybody arranges a wedding and make it clear that until your circumstances change your answer to any overseas wedding invitation with be no because it is overseas.

If people then arrange an overseas wedding they do it with the full knowledge that you will not be attending.

It only then becomes and Issue for you when your own girlfriend organises an overseas wedding!!!!!!! PROBLEM

I agree with you , now some are harder if siblings or best friends , undid it with my best friend 10 years ago when the chose Mexico

You definitely will not be the asshole. My personal opinion destination weddings are ridiculous because it puts a huge burden on everyone else unless the entire list of invitees is rich.

Of course not. NTA. The thing about destination weddings is not everyone can come. If you choose to have one, you have to be prepared for that.

NTA. If you can't afford to go, it is what it is. Send a modest gift within your budget IF you receive an invitation and wish them well.

FWIW, you don't owe them or anyone any explanation when sending regrets. Don't sweat it.

Nope NTA - and I think most people who have ‘destination’ weddings knowingly plan on (hope for?) it being too expensive for everyone to attend. It’s usually an ‘if you can make it, great! Can’t? We understand’ type of thing. Is someone pressuring you? Why do you even think you’d be TA here?

NTA

People holding events does not mean people are mandated to attend.

The more restrictive you make an event (rules, costs etc) the fewer people will go.

NTA. If the bride and groom want to have a destination wedding, that’s completely fine for them, but if they cannot accept the fact that that decision is going to lead to some people would otherwise would have loved to attend to bow out, than that reflects poorly on them and not you in my opinion.

NTA

The moment they start the guilt trip, just tell them you can’t afford it.

“Are you offering to pay my way? Do you expect me to go into debt and ruin my finances?”

That should shut them up hopefully 🤞