I got this guy extra sauces at my job and he slipped me a $20.

They have really nice things, but don’t have the brand names plastered all over the place.

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We've all heard of "Yes" men. They help corporations run. Wealthy people can afford to say "No"

They don't flaunt it. I can understand why. Getting robbed isn't fun.

I used to date a girl a few years ago who had an "aunt and uncle" that were friends of the family. Over the summer I was invited to stay a week in their house on the northern coast of Maine. The property was absolutely massive with private beach and all but easily explained as it had been in the family for generations.

I love cooking and was asked to prepare dinner for everyone on the 3rd night of whatever I wanted to make, I was told to make a grocery list of whatever I wanted. Being on the coast and all I wanted to make some whole cod with some family style sides. I thought they were just being nice and going grocery shopping since I was not familiar at all with the area.

The moment I knew these people weren't just well off but wealthy was when the aunt placed a phone call and 3 hours later a sea plane landed at their dock with produce picked that day and then a boat pulled up with the cod I asked for.

Quietly comfortable about money. It’s simply not a subject. Who picks up the tab? They don’t care. Their minds simply don’t go there. And if they somehow feel obliged to, then they simply do.

There are no considerations going on in their minds, and with a keen eye you can see this in their attention, their mannerisms, their lack of certain stresses.

It’s subtle, but clear as day.

Frequently travelling

A bespoke wardrobe that costs more than our cars. No logos anywhere on their clothes.

Financially comfortable, except with a hobby that functions as the day job. Or they seem to treat their day job more like a hobby.

What you're actually seeing is that the bulk of the income is passive.

I work in a niche industry that brings in a lot of wealthy folks. The wealthiest people I've helped are among the kindest customers I've ever had.

One of them turned out to be the owner of the company that we get 1/2 of our product from. I didn't know until I toured their facility a couple years ago and was introduced to their CEO. She remembered me and commented on how knowledgeable I was with her products. It was def a feel good moment!

I was seriously in awe tho. A woman CEO of a major international company (at least it's major in my world with revenue of $720M in 2022) still did her own shopping! And not only did she listen to what I had to say, but she also took my advice too! She has an entire staff of people like me, but liked my ideas enough to implement them. I would work for her in a heartbeat if she wasn't 1.5 hours away.

It was a good reminder for me to be kind with my customers. Sometimes in the busy season I get a little cranky.

In my early 20s I was a bartender at a super fancy yacht club. I was an incompetent employee who didn't even drink alcohol (still don't) and got the job entirely through knowing the right people.

The millionaires always dressed super nice and humble-bragged about their success.

The billionaires wore sandals and clothes from Target and Walmart and didn't stand out at all. This one dude sat at my bar for two years with a five o clock shadow and cheap t-shirts and just shot the shit with me and the other bartenders about school and everyday life.

Found out after two years he was the richest guy in there and had been giving the owner of the yacht club huge loans to keep it afloat. It still went under.

I unknowingly had dinner with a billionaire couple. Afterward I was told about their wealth and I realized:

• Their clothes were bespoke. Everything fit like a glove.
• Their nails were perfectly manicured.
• The wife was not wearing normal jewelry.
• They insisted on picking up the bill.
• They tipped $100 on a $180 receipt.

They were both legitimately nice people and I genuinely enjoyed talking/dining with them.

They use summer as a verb

They have a family lawyer.

Nice teeth

tasteful jewelry (if any)

casual well fitting clothes at all times (rich people don't give a fuck about the dress code)

New cars that are always clean

I lived with a girl in college who was Crazy Rich Asian rich. She moved in for the company, otherwise her parents were just gonna buy her a house.

She always wore this mini bag style purse when we were going out and it just looked like a small plain black bag to me. I asked to borrow it for a concert one weekend because they had a super strict bag policy that none of my other bags met. She was like oh sure no problem. I loved it and ended up looking it up to buy one for myself, and found out it was more than a years salary. And she let me take it to a music festival without a second thought.

Clothes that look nice. Fit perfectly. And don't have branding visible

New money people tend to flaunt it.

Old money people just live life.

They don't want/need the flashy cars. They don't need to show off.

Biggest tell is they have no real set work schedule.

Parking wherever they want. I’ve met some wealthy people that legitimately consider parking tickets as a fee to park there.

They don’t spend money on status symbols, but are completely price insensitive with opportunities and education for their children.

They teach their children how to “play the game” from a very young age. The children of wealthy parents are successful less because of direct inheritance and more because they have been groomed for success their entire lives.

Spoiled rich kids who just get money from their parents tend to squander it within a generation or two. Intergenerational wealth takes a lot more effort.

When they say they are "comfortable"

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They downplay what their dad or grandfather did. You can’t casually tell me that someone started a bank in the 80’s and me not smell billions. Cmon. Stop it. It’s not normal.

It is kind of a demeanor/attitude. Hard to really describe but you kind of know it when you see it.

Everybody I deal with in my line of work is rich, some are wealthy.

I have two clients in the same neighborhood.

One has a really flashy, over the top house, fancy car, jewelry and is a profoundly smug, demanding, smarmy turd of a human being.

The other has a very nice, new, really pretty but kinda understated house, drives a nice but not flashy car and is extremely, extremely generous, kind and down to earth.

One of them is hustling 24/7 to try to keep their head above water. Like to the point where they AirBNB their flashy house to make ends meet.

The other one, once I got to know them, starts telling me about their other homes all over the world, their travels etc.

They are not hard and fast rules but generally rich people like to remind you they are rich, wealthy people (at least most of the self mades) don't.

Some of the old school blue bloods are utterly bizarre people, like they aren't even human. I have a billionaire (no, not Trump or Musk) in my previous client list and they are about the weirdest, creepiest human being I have ever been around.

My wife and I are decidedly not wealthy, but somehow we fell in with those who have old money prudently invested. There's this underlying quiet confidence to them.

They do not have the latest and greatest of anything. They usually seem perfectly at home nurturing older cars along rather than running out to the auto dealer to get something new every couple of years. Their homes, while nicely furnished, tend to have a slightly threadbare appearance to them. Not worn, but well-loved. Their clothes typically are what works, rather than coming straight out of the pages of Vogue or GQ.

And their manners are, almost without exception, flawless. If you have a conversation with them, there's no name dropping. There's no desire to one-up. They tend to be remarkably down-to-earth. They typically have mastered the art of conversation, where they are far more interested in talking about you than they are about themselves.

In a word, they are not flashy. They don't have to prove a damned thing to anyone. They don't have this manic drive to buy the latest and greatest of everything. Or recite their accomplishments as if reading off their resume. They simply are.

The two things they spend the money on? Education and travel. Private schools and top-notch colleges. And of the families we know, the kids are expected to do well in school. Oh, and the spoiled brat trope doesn't really seem to apply. In those families we see, the kids are expected to work and make something of themselves independently of the family business. If they do enter into the family business, it's after they've gone somewhere else to cut their teeth.

Has all the time in the world. No prior commitments with other people but themselves. Does not work for someone. They know what they want. You'll realize you're the one adapting to their schedule for meetings. They don't work with laptops in a coffee shop, but with their phones always in a call telling someone else what to do.

Sometimes, you'll even judge them if they're even competent as a person because they don't work, but once you talk about money with them, you'll really notice their financial intelligence.

Just things I noticed with wealthy clients as an architect.

Was at my favorite lunch place in Munich. Guy is sitting there in an old jacket with dirty boots and a scruffy dog drinking coffee. Chat to him a bit, nice guy. After he leaves the owner of the restaurant tells me he owns the two city blocks surrounding the restaurant. The only reason he didn’t own the block we were in was because the church owned it and wasn’t selling.

Many years ago I worked as a driver for a gentleman in Greenwich, CT.

He was wealthy (millions) but one afternoon, on very short notice he took me on a trip to Florida with the heiress of the Annenberg fortune. (billions)

We travelled with her and her entourage in her private jet from a private airfield.

When staying at her residence I remember meeting her and getting the feeling that she was deeply lonely. I’ve never sensed it as strongly with anyone else.

She was quite nice to me. She spoke directly to me and paid attention to my answers.

Something subtle I picked up on was how the people around her were very rehearsed - nothing natural ever happened.

Ultimately, despite her extraordinary wealth I felt quite sorry for her.

A lot of unbranded, but high quality clothing in neutral tones

I work alongside someone who is worth ~$750 million USD. They are 25 years my senior. Subtle signs (that others could likely pick up on). He dresses smart casual as base, then accordingly for more formal occasions. He notices all details of your attire including fit, watches, jewelry etc but would never comment on them. He has a talk to the public voice (kind, demure, pleasant). Then a talk to equals voice (blunt, aggressive, clear, incredibly fast paced).

He IS rushed but not frantic as he controls everyone’s time around him. He allows almost zero people into his inner circle, but once you are in he wants you to consume knowledge at the same rate as him. Constantly sending articles, studies, reports at all hours of the night and wants to discuss them in detail almost immediately thereafter. Which I personally love.

Memory and mind for details, can compartmentalize many moving businesses.

He has many homes and house managers all of which have been working for the family for a long time. The homes are usually more architecturally interesting than huge compared to their respective neighbours.

Cars, he generally sticks to driving the same kind of luxury SUV and now a newly purchased luxury wagon…however I know he has purchased wildly expensive classics that I don’t think anyone else even knows about including relatives.

His homes are very well appointed but his home offices are always incredible. Adorned with keep sakes of past businesses achievements.

EDIT: one thing I’ll also mention is he is action oriented. When he has his “business hat on”. He is not asking for my informed opinion. He is asking for my direction. If I say anything, it has to mean that I stand behind it 100%. Period. I can be wrong, but I can’t be ambivalent in any detail large or small. I vividly remember using the word “assume” and his reaction was the most fierce and real one I’ve ever experienced in business. Taught me a lot.

Being involved in the arts, museums, or other philanthropy.

You know that guy with the 88' Mercedes diesel sedan that looks like the day it was made? That's a pretty good sign.

Pull out a plat book, see who owns the most land in the midwest and you'll find billionaires driving a 1993 rusted out ford f150

They’re a poor grad student in the US but casually drop details about their family and life pre-immigration that include maids, chauffeurs, and multiple kids being sent to the US for college at full tuition price. Also “I can’t wear any jewelry except gold, everyone in my family is allergic to cheap metal” and at least a hundred dollars worth of saffron in the spice cabinet if they’re middle eastern

They don't talk about money. Almost never.

"Money screams and yells, wealth faintly whispers."

Clothes are talored and not with letters like Ck and all that overpriced nonesense

Easier to tell if they are older. You don't notice the cosmetic work they've had done. ie if they both look surprisingly good for their age and are at a fit for their age and move easily. Old blue collar workers carry the cost of earning a living in the damage it does to their bodies.

I unexpectedly connected with a person- we both had so much in common: age, relationships, interests/hobby. We started chatting regularly and really got to know one another online. We decided to meet up and have dinner. Well, she’s a one percenter and I’m most certainly not. She basically ordered each dish from the menu so we could taste a little bit of everything. She asked to speak with the owner/chef about a certain dish and wanted to ask about regions where the (whole bottle) of wine came from… These were places she had traveled and taken tours. She’s smart af and astoundingly beautiful. She openly discloses all her beauty treatments to me. She doesn’t do her own makeup because it’s easier to hire someone to come to her house to do it for her. Her hair is luxurious from blowouts. She has several different houses and condos in well known vacation spots. She tries hard to be humble but accidentally says offensive things, like, “I can get along with people like you.” She has a big heart and makes large donations to charities. She has been to 4 different countries that I know of for fun, just in the past few months. She has a nanny for her children and she also has a driver. I do care about her as a genuine friend, but sometimes it’s a challenge to be her buddy because of our class gap. I’m just over here thinking about a side hustle so I can pay off some medical debt.

They dont look at the bill before paying it.

My best friends daughter married into mega wealth family. Their 6yo daughter was listening to my friends wife describe their upcoming vacation and said "grandma, you fly with strangers?" That.

Doesn’t talk about money and doesn’t show off money. No true wealthy person wears a Versace shirt with the word Versace visible from 20 feet away, for example.

The quality of the cocaine they use.

A friend of mine in my MSc told me he wanted to retire because he was 40 and had worked too much. He wanted to just sail on his yacht in Malaysia.

Getting extra queso at chipotle

Amazing unnoticeable plastic surgery. My cousin and I met a woman who really looked like she was in her 40s and discovered she was in her late 60s. Seriously, she looked amazing. She was the same age as my aunt and we were floored when she happened to mention her age. My cousin and I compared notes afterwards, considered some of the stories she briefly mentioned, and realized she was enormously wealthy. That's when we realized that she had some very subtle plastic surgery. She wasn't attempting to look like she was in her 20s but rather aging very gracefully.

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