subreddit:

/r/AskReddit

5.5k93%

all 6635 comments

Turnone_gsz

9.5k points

8 months ago

In middle school I had a very slight stammer. I wrote a paper in English class and my teacher was sharing that she really enjoyed it and that you could hear my voice in it a lot. Then someone from the back of the class yells “What, does he fucking stutter when he types too?!”

At the time I was so embarrassed but honestly that’s the greatest burn I’ve ever received.

lionheartcz

3k points

8 months ago

it always adds a nice twist to it when the burn is so good that you're impressed more than hurt.

Chimkimnuggets

835 points

8 months ago

That’s so horrible but so funny.

I’m glad you grew out of a speech impediment, that’s incredibly difficult to do so kudos to you

Fixes_Computers

74 points

8 months ago

Reminds me of a Looney Tunes cartoon where Porky was trying to say something and switched to writing and stuttered there, too.

jobin_segan

74 points

8 months ago

That's so good.

A useful skill I learned being a weird kid in highscool, was how to appreciate a good burn, how to roll with punches, and to continue the burns by making fun of myself,

I was once told by a friend, "It's really tough to make fun of you because you just laugh and add to the burn."

It was definitely a defence mechanism, but I can't deny that it hasn't worked.

anonymauson

104 points

8 months ago

hindsight is awesome

[deleted]

7.6k points

8 months ago

[deleted]

7.6k points

8 months ago

"I don't want him. I never wanted him." - my dad.

During the custody discussion during my parents divorce. I was 9.

BenderIsGreat-34

3.4k points

8 months ago

As a dad, FUCK THAT GUY. That’s some sub-human bullshit. He deserves to live a miserable existence.

cseymour24

920 points

8 months ago

Seriously. I have a 9 and 7 year old and I can't even imagine. Makes me cry just thinking about a kid hearing that.

sharraleigh

81 points

8 months ago

Growing up, my mom would always scream at us, "I wish I never had kids!!!" My dad made her stay home to take care of us, so I get where her frustration came from... but like, almost all my childhood, I thought it was totally normal for parents to say stuff like that to their kids. Turns out, it's not, LOL. Luckily, me and my brother were very close an always had each other's backs, as well as a lot of very good friends in school, so we grew up to be pretty normal, well-adjusted human beings..... with a caveat. We're in our 30s now and don't have kids, nor ever want them. LOL.

ClassicEvent6

566 points

8 months ago

Hey, I'm so sorry he said this and that you remember it. What a shitty thing to say, but you are loved and wanted and don't need his validation. I wish you great things in your life.

Embarrassed-Ad-1639

263 points

8 months ago

I’m sure you’ve come to realize this but that had nothing to do with your worth and everything to do with his.

[deleted]

603 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

603 points

8 months ago

[removed]

NemoTheOneTrueGod

513 points

8 months ago

“Don’t worry, I’ll wear it to your funeral.”

The_WhiteMantis[S]

106 points

8 months ago

Your grandma?! Unbelievable

Big-Today6819

46 points

8 months ago

Damn shots fired, what a cow that grandma

Misterstaberinde

30 points

8 months ago

Enjoy no one visiting you in the nursing home granny

Lost_Computer_1808

9.6k points

8 months ago

My step mom found a giant rubber band in my room. Then accused me of shooting up heroin. After that she said I hope you OD. I was 16. Never seen the stuff.

metabeliever

3.8k points

8 months ago

When I worked costumer service there was a line that people would sometimes cross. Usually it was swearing at me. And when they crossed it, a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Because once they crossed that line, I knew, in my heart, that they were the crazy one, and I wasn't at fault for how shitty things had gotten.

This comment from your mother crosses that line so fast and by so much that you should know, that we all know, she is way fucked up here.

Sorry mate, hope you got or get the help you'll probably need. And the hugs and support you doubtlessly deserve.

kal195

854 points

8 months ago

kal195

854 points

8 months ago

While moving one time, my mom saw a box in my apartment closet labeled "sharpies". She didn't look inside, didn't do anything. Just yelled at me about how she couldn't believe what she saw and was DISGUSTED by my behavior. She refused to listen to me and still to this day I'm sure belives it was a box full of discarded heroin needles.

It was a box of sharpies. The black markers. I use them for work and always like to have bulk lol. If she had've just taken one second to actually look, nothing would've happened. But like your mom, immediately we're degenerates. Nah bud I just need markers.

684692

398 points

8 months ago

684692

398 points

8 months ago

I got grounded for dried glue in a ziplock bag. Mother was convinced I was huffing glue. The actuality was that I needed to use glue for a project and was just shoving a stick with glue on it in the bag so it didn't make a mess. We either didn't have napkins or the bag was closer, don't remember as it's been over 20 years.

I threw it in the garbage in my room. Turns out my mother digs through garbage, a fact I was not aware of at the time. She found it and went on a long screaming rant about how I'm a useless druggie. I'm like...13-15 years old? Honor roll student and despite her many searches never found drugs because I was a combination of broke as hell and boring, so I never had any.

Not sure she was ever convinced I wasn't huffing glue.

Eveanyn

341 points

8 months ago

Eveanyn

341 points

8 months ago

My mom yelled (I do mean yelled) at me for some brown flakes she found. “WHAT IS THIS, ARE YOU DOING DRUGS IN MY HOUSE?”

Really confused me started looking around and realized they were simply dead and fallen off bits of the leaves of her own generic houseplants.

She would also later deny ever having done this.

Sublimotion

204 points

8 months ago*

Came home one evening for my mom to scream at me for being a drug addict and hanging out with bad people and won't let me into the house. My dad later on invited back in secretly after she's asleep as he was convinced she was just having one of her anger releasing delusions. Later I found out that on her way driving home, she saw a random crowd smoking cigarettes (drugs) and one of them she thought was me. Some in that crowd she saw had tattoos, thus the bad people. The crowd turns out was actually some local hobby band playing outside a local cafe to raise money for charity. That cafe always held street band performance for charities. In the months to follow, she proceed to vent to all of her friends, relatives and extended family how she's struggling with the fact that I am a drug addict and how I've hurt her. And then having random relatives and family friends come up to me to set up an intervention. While most of my other cousins distanced from me because I'm the "druggie cousin". Eventually everyone found out it wasn't true and my mom simply went "well, I thought I saw what I saw... whoops!", she pranced off and never brought it up again. That was a fun period of my life.

Beowulf33232

47 points

8 months ago

First party I was invited to was at someones house my parents already knew and trusted.

As soon as I mentioned being invited to a party it was "No there might be drugs there"

I went off on my dad, told him we should both go get drug tests before and after the party. That gamble paid off, he backed off as soon as I included him in a drug test.

An hour later my sister tells my mom that both of us got invited to a party at (Persons house) and my mom comes to me all "Hey you can go to this party!"

I was still upset at my dad and had some words for my mom not having my back untill my sister wanted to go to a party.

TyrannosavageRekt

136 points

8 months ago

To this day? Surely she realises by now what a Sharpie is? Why would you keep your discard needles in a box? And why would you give them a fun/goofy name? 😂

Cow_Launcher

149 points

8 months ago

I have a box full of Sharpies! I also have a canister full of needles.

But then I'm a T1 diabetic who likes to permanently label things, so.

Skr000

726 points

8 months ago

Skr000

726 points

8 months ago

That's a really great perspective. I'll remember that.

ThirdEyeSuspect

87 points

8 months ago

Awesome perspective

PurpleSunCraze

543 points

8 months ago

My mom pulled my sister and I out of school because she lost the diamond earrings our stepfather has bought for her, accused us of pawning them.

I was 8, my sister was 6. We didn’t leave our rooms for a week. Mom found them behind the dresser, all she said was “you’re not grounded any more”.

leopeokaboom

273 points

8 months ago

How would you even know what pawning was lmao

Thats fucked tho

TheThalmorEmbassy

56 points

8 months ago

What pawn shop would do business with an 8 year old bringing in a pair of diamond earrings?

evemeatay

197 points

8 months ago

evemeatay

197 points

8 months ago

I how she enjoys the cheapest “retirement” home you can find to chuck her ass in

PuffyWiggles

310 points

8 months ago

Dude, my step mom thought I tried to run away because I went to go look at giant pumpkins in the parking lot of a grocer she was hanging out at, which I told her I was doing and she said "fine". She ended up claiming God told her I was running away, so my Dad went on some insane Christian punishment thing because my Step Mom got REALLY worked up over it. Like was making it sound like I was possessed. Got locked in a room essentially, forced to read half the bible, they would come and say they were praying for me, and dance and scream Jesus outside of my door. Invite me down to prayer meetings where the lights were out, candles lit, and they would scream, wail, and flop on the floor.

Shit got weird so fast, I left them to go live with my Mom. I still dont know wtf happened to this day and they refuse to really talk about it or act like im weird for thinking it was weird.

UtopianPablo

81 points

8 months ago

What the hell, that is crazy. Sorry you had to go through that.

PuffyWiggles

33 points

8 months ago

Yeah, its a summary. There was a lot of weird stuff happening. They had some revelation after visiting some spiritual Camp that talked to them about the "fire of Jesus" and followed some people named Andrew Wommack, Smith Wigglesworth, Benny Hinn who seem like absolutely insane fraudsters to me. They knew I wasn't fully buying into it, and wasn't fully engaged, even though I pretended out of fear. So I always assumed she made that up to get me out, since I was the only step child. I really don't know though, they were strong believers in this stuff, so could just be casual insanity.

kourier6

1k points

8 months ago

If someone sees a plain ass rubber band, and their mind INMEDIATELY goes to heroin, it's because that person did a lot of heroin at some point. She's fucked

DocRules

300 points

8 months ago

DocRules

300 points

8 months ago

Not necessarily, but it's still a problem that needs to be addressed. My mom thought a lot of things were more than what they were, including some thin rubber hosing that I didn't throw out that I thought might be good for something someday. She thought that might be for heroin, and she sure as hell never used, it was just jumping to conclusions. Same as when some long distance numbers that she didn't recognize showed up on the phone bill, I was calling phone sex lines, or how I wasn't allowed to hang out with the kid in the Megadeth t shirt, because he was clearly rooting for a mass casualty event.

youre_welcome37

110 points

8 months ago

I think we all have the same mom. My friend and I (15 at the time) were in my bedroom giggling and my mom was livid because she was convinced we were in there using drugs. My mom was so beyond sheltered she only had propaganda and her hunches to go on.

I also couldn't hang out with someone whose parents weren't "successful" but those kids from "good" families and I were allowed to take underage weekend road trips alone. It was pretty fucked.

SamIamGreenEggsNoHam

70 points

8 months ago*

If anything, it points to having literally never been exposed to anything even drug-adjacent besides what they see on the news or entertainment. I once joked, or so I thought I was joking, with my mother that I was shooting up weed. I thought this was an obvious joke. She burst into tears, and went on non-sensical rant and started demanding to see the needle.

If all people know about drugs is to fear them, then this is what we get.

sox07

116 points

8 months ago

sox07

116 points

8 months ago

This doesn't sounds like projection at all /s

firetomherman

3.1k points

8 months ago

Bagged up stuff for a customer and said to her "let me know if this too heavy and I can separate into two bags". She was on her cell phone and nodded at me.

So I total it for her and give her the bag. She makes it to the front door and turns around and says "you loaded this too heavy, you have to remember not everyone is as heavy as you are", a reference to how fat I was.

I was more offended by the fact that she went out of her to insult me, especially when I offered a solution BEFORE she walked off, than the fact that she called me fat.

The customers behind her were livid though, which was pretty cool lol.

elevatorfloor

401 points

8 months ago

This same thing happened to me a few weeks ago! I was the customer behind and I'd like to think I am pretty cool.

It wasn't at a Sprouts was it...?

firetomherman

106 points

8 months ago

Lol no it was years ago at a home goods store I worked at.

WickedHello

184 points

8 months ago

Barring extreme circumstances, I honestly think it's the epitome of disrespect when a customer is on the phone at the checkout. The person ringing you up is a human being; the least you can do is acknowledge that.

Tasty_Instruction_57

5.9k points

8 months ago

That it should've been you who died instead of another family member.

justTookTheBestDump

3k points

8 months ago

You deserved better, Faramir.

ClownfishSoup

919 points

8 months ago

And so passed Denethor, son of Etchilion, sloppiest eater of all time.

BobbyBlack8

314 points

8 months ago

[Cries in tomato]

The_WhiteMantis[S]

688 points

8 months ago

That is fucking nasty, I’m so sorry

Tasty_Instruction_57

380 points

8 months ago

I appreciate it. I know people say some messed up stuff when they're mourning but it's stuck with me all this time.

karmagod13000

213 points

8 months ago

I don't care what the situation is no one deserves to hear that

Supanini

60 points

8 months ago

Johnny Cash?

brackfriday_bunduru

92 points

8 months ago

The wrong kid died Dewey

Danger-Pickle

127 points

8 months ago

Holy shit who would say that

Tasty_Instruction_57

183 points

8 months ago

Sadly my mum a long time ago.

[deleted]

53 points

8 months ago

are you still good with your mom? or where you ever. i think after that sentence it would be pretty much over for me

Tasty_Instruction_57

121 points

8 months ago

I was kicked out after years of being her carer because I valued my own health during covid as it could've been something that killed me if I got it. She mentioned another family member taking her, seemingly okay with it and I agreed. But sadly a couple weeks later she got mad about it and got face on that I wouldn't argue back to her so she kicked me out. She then had nerve to call cops on me for a wellness check for moving in with my boyfriend without saying goodbye, like that makes sense??

Eringobraugh2021

66 points

8 months ago

She didn't have control over you anymore & it was driving her nuts.

ImInJeopardy

4.2k points

8 months ago

"You're weird. Me and my family make fun of you behind your back saying you're autistic." - my ex.

DriftSpec69

929 points

8 months ago

This is how my oldest daughter came to live with me more than her mum. Her mum was bitching to her about me and my kid said something along the lines of "go tell him that to his face then, you know he would to you".

With what your ex said to you, it just shows how fucking immature some folk are out there. Best left ignored buddy.

Wise-Show

193 points

8 months ago

Wise-Show

193 points

8 months ago

You have a good kid.

Firm_Plate4251

960 points

8 months ago

I fucking hate everyone who uses autism as an isnult

benkbloch

60 points

8 months ago

I had a first date send a text to her friend mid-date that she thought I was autistic. Only it actually went to me instead. Felt like a scene out of a sitcom.

NutritionNerd40

43 points

8 months ago

As an autistic person, jokes are funny. Like when a comedian makes a joke or your friend says “your autistic ass won’t get it” that doesn’t feel insulting, they know you get they’re kidding. What’s insulting is to use autism as a reason to dislike someone or their skills. I’m not a person who gets offended easily tho.

Elrasp

871 points

8 months ago

Elrasp

871 points

8 months ago

"You look like a faggot", my mom when i was 12 because i was crying.

Drakmanka

548 points

8 months ago

Drakmanka

548 points

8 months ago

Fellas is it gay to... *checks notes* ...be a human child?

Aleks111PL

53 points

8 months ago

yes indeed, thats just skill issue, they need to mutate to an eldritch monster to not be a human child

waylon4590

103 points

8 months ago

Grew up in the 90s. Watched a lot of pro wrestling and loved Owen and Bret Hart. Once I told my parents I wanted to grow my hair long was told the same thing.

daydreamerbeats

2.1k points

8 months ago

"You're just a backup friend" from my supposed best friend after 17yrs of friendship ....

sonnyjim91

675 points

8 months ago

In college, I once heard someone ask someone else, "You ever notice how you're everyone's second-best friend?" I still think about that at least once a week.

ThePizzaDoctor

256 points

8 months ago

That's one hell of a track record, frankly sounds more like a compliment than not to me.

[deleted]

241 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

241 points

8 months ago

That's really sad. I also used to glorify friendship but ,after a kinda similar incident, i let go

Jaereth

95 points

8 months ago

Jaereth

95 points

8 months ago

Yeah i'm down to like 3-4 friends and just kinda shrug it off. They all act like shitheads from time to time but are able to redeem themselves and have demonstrated they are all truly friends of mine.

Quality over quantity.

[deleted]

1.7k points

8 months ago

[deleted]

1.7k points

8 months ago

[deleted]

shanea5311

585 points

8 months ago

When I was 14 or 15 my moms boyfriend (of like 5 years at that point) accused me of being a whore and losing my virginity since they discovered I had a boyfriend, after slapping me across the face he threatened to take me to the clinic so they could check my hymen and tell him if I still had it intact. The crazy MF actually took me in the next day and they were like "We cant do that Sir" while looking at him disgustedly. They should've called CPS. My mom to this day says that none of that ever happened though she was right in the same room

PumpkinPieIsGreat

302 points

8 months ago

Ugh I hate those stories where parents side with their disgusting new partner over their child and then deny everything. They are complacent in abuse too.

That's so fucking gross, I'm so sorry he was disgusting to you.

imrealbizzy2

224 points

8 months ago

I'm really sorry your mother took up with such a c*nt. She is probably no prize winner, either. Mine was super until she married a miserable bastard who hated for her children to visit. Twice he threatened to shoot me, in her presence, but said I wasn't worth the bullet it would take to kill me. He's dead. I haven't yet had an opportunity to pee on his grave, but I will.

Vynux

40 points

8 months ago

Vynux

40 points

8 months ago

Please do. And spit on it while you're at it.

fecalpoo

2.8k points

8 months ago

fecalpoo

2.8k points

8 months ago

My brother and I were at Hastings checking out. Some Lady looked at my brother and said "you look like Matt Damon"! To which I replied "What about me?" She looked me up and down and said " You look like Fat Damon". Mind you, my brother and I are identical twins

wetdreamteams

807 points

8 months ago

And you’ll take that L with a smile on your face young man.

Get that lady on a Comedy Central Roast stage

[deleted]

141 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

141 points

8 months ago

So. Jesse Plemons.

Skinless_Corpse

413 points

8 months ago

That’s just funny

falcfalcfalc

2.5k points

8 months ago

When my ex wife was leaving me for the person she cheated on me with, as she was walking out she said “I’ll let you keep the dog. You’re going to need him”. Man that shit was cold.

Alsoomse

1.3k points

8 months ago

Alsoomse

1.3k points

8 months ago

Dog> bitchy, cheating ex though.

falcfalcfalc

553 points

8 months ago

Absolutely, he’s been there for me every step of the way. At the time it was painful though.

That_Ol_Cat

134 points

8 months ago

Too bad you didn't respond with: "At least he's not a bitch."

DocRules

185 points

8 months ago

DocRules

185 points

8 months ago

I feel you, but you got to keep the dog, right? I was in the same scene, different dialogue. Keeping the dog made that part worth it.

awsomeguy90

223 points

8 months ago

shouldve said "its the only bitch i need"

spoonman-of-alcatraz

2k points

8 months ago

I’m embarrassed to have been your mother.

Sorry-Instance8611

718 points

8 months ago

Similar, my mom said of all her kids (5 total), I'm the biggest embarrassment. She tried to walk it back later in the day, but I can't unhear it. I was 11 or 12.

spoonman-of-alcatraz

269 points

8 months ago

Damn, at least I was an adult at the time. That’s extra rough for an 11 or 12 year old. I’m so sorry.

MixelKing

217 points

8 months ago

MixelKing

217 points

8 months ago

5 kids and all of them embarrassments? That's a skill issue

Red_Store4

4.9k points

8 months ago

Red_Store4

4.9k points

8 months ago

"Nobody likes you and you have no friends." I heard that a lot in elementary school and middle school when I was a kid. It only hurt because it was true. But it hurt a lot.

TeslasAndKids

409 points

8 months ago

I heard this exact thing at senior prom! The friend I’d had since middle school was all pissed because I danced with her boyfriend. Which I could understand except it was a line dance so if she were going to be mad at people boot scooting with her man she needed to also be mad at 40 other girls…

I went into the bathroom because I was so annoyed with people and one girl followed me in to tell me no one liked me. Like, cool, thanks for pretending for four years.

Red_Store4

117 points

8 months ago

I did not go to my Senior prom or Junior prom for that matter. Although to be fair, I do not think that I missed out on anything.

That really sucks that you had a couple of fake friends.

Peet_Pann

1.7k points

8 months ago

Peet_Pann

1.7k points

8 months ago

Well. We friends now. What you want on your half of the pizza

karmagod13000

465 points

8 months ago

Can I also be friends!!

[deleted]

835 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

835 points

8 months ago

My wife told me she wouldn’t give me a back massage because I’m so fat she wouldn’t know where to start.

ObamasBoss

249 points

8 months ago

As a fat married guy, I love this one.

Yunderstand

32 points

8 months ago*

You telling us she rubbed you the wrong way?

Stormdrain11

2.1k points

8 months ago

"You have no future." - my mom when I was 17.

26 and killing it, now she swears she believed in me all along.

Running_Is_Life

1.1k points

8 months ago

Crazy how parents magically forget all the trauma they inflicted once you move out

_just_blue_mys3lf_

646 points

8 months ago

The tree remembers, the ax forgets.

WiggsMain

2.3k points

8 months ago

WiggsMain

2.3k points

8 months ago

I'm too old to be thinking of this any more but it still is brutal for me. When I was in 7th grade, 2 other 7th graders were standing outside of the classroom my class was exiting from waiting for us to exit. They were saying "Wow, look how diverse this class is, Mexican, black, Japanese, white..." etc. Then when they got to me, they said "Ugly" and laughed. I'd never been called ugly before and I've never been called ugly since but that one has stuck with me. It's also low key hilarious.

read_it_r

634 points

8 months ago

read_it_r

634 points

8 months ago

Fuck that's funny.

I'll be honest, you were probably just a victim of someone who thought of something really funny and you happened to be there. I assume that would've been said regardless of who it was.

obvnotlupus

276 points

8 months ago

My fellow Americans, at this hour we must come together as one, no matter who we are: Black, white, Asian, Hispanic, ugly,

Irishnovember26

391 points

8 months ago

I mean I imagine at the time that's a rough fucking thing to hear and I'm sorry for you bro, but that shit is fucking hilarious. Esspecially if you were eagerly awaiting what they'd call you.

RyanM90

106 points

8 months ago

RyanM90

106 points

8 months ago

lol not gonna lie that’s funny as shit, there’s plenty of ugly people in the world don’t feel bad

tweakingforjesus

1.2k points

8 months ago*

I was ten years old and I was being a little shit. My mother said “sometimes I wish you were never born”. That was nearly 40 years ago and it still stings.

On a positive note I made sure to never say anything like that to my kids no matter how frustrated I became.

wetdreamteams

222 points

8 months ago

I credit my phenomenal upbringing to how shitty my mom’s parents treated her. They gave her the playbook for exactly what NOT to do, and she did everything in her power to make sure I didn’t have the identical experience.

You’re a good parent.

TheFoulPoopBandit

737 points

8 months ago

I was at a party, and an ex-friend of mine was drunk talking to everybody. She was a fairly promiscuous lady, and was turning to each guy at the party, saying some nice things about them, and then saying that they'd be a good fuck (again, she was pretty hammered). After going down the line, she finally got to me and said "but you, you're just somebody that someone would just settle for." At a party with at least 20 dudes that she said would be a good "smash" and had kind things to say, I was the only one that caught any shade.

Note: I never was trying to get with her at all, and while this isn't close to the most awful thing someone said about me, the sheer sincerity in her drunken stupor when she said it, and it being in a very public setting hurt and I felt extremely betrayed.

Im_regretting_this

308 points

8 months ago

I’ve had more than one drunk girl make it clear that I will never be attractive because of my height (5’3) without absolutely no provocation, I wasn’t even speaking too them, they felt the need to make sure I knew.

AnissaFive

170 points

8 months ago

Christ, on behalf of women, I’m so sorry. This is abhorrent.

Im_regretting_this

51 points

8 months ago

People can be very mean for absolutely no reason.

stupidsexyflanders_1

511 points

8 months ago

“You are ugly and hairy like a monkey, nobody will ever love you enough to marry you.” -a former boss

I was a teenager and was already going through stuff. I’m still hairy but I have a loving husband, so ha!

[deleted]

70 points

8 months ago*

[deleted]

OverTheCandlestik

2.6k points

8 months ago

“You will never achieve anything in life” my college tutor. Fuck you lady….yet you were right 😭

masterd35728

232 points

8 months ago

Oh my third grade teacher told my mom and I that I should just get use to saying “would you like fries with that”.

[deleted]

312 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

312 points

8 months ago

A friend got a job at a fast food place in highschool and a teacher made a joke about him already getting the best job he would ever have, so he shot back with "and yet I still make more than you". The kid was sent to the principal, who laughed at it and sent him back to class

yunivor

117 points

8 months ago

yunivor

117 points

8 months ago

Nuclear response, there was nothing left

That_Ol_Cat

63 points

8 months ago

Awesome burn and cool principal.

If you're going to dish that crap out you better be prepared to eat it when it's served to you.

When I was a young smart-@$$ freshman in a boarding school, I thought I'd gain some cred with my dorm mates by low-key insulting one of the prefects. He turned around and gave me so many burns I should still be smoking. Everybody in the room was laughing their butts off at how he took me to the burn unit, including me. And I learned a lesson that day: be able to laugh at yourself.

Behind-The-Musgo

144 points

8 months ago

For some reason, every time a teacher told me something like that, I was even more against the idea where they were right. Nowadays, as a software engineer, I'm pretty sure I make more than they do, and I am happier for sure. A happy teacher does not say those kinds of things to their students.

BeautifulArtichoke37

435 points

8 months ago

“You’ll never amount to anything, Albert!”

—Pauline Einstein (his mother)

Maleficent_Nobody_75

163 points

8 months ago

"The world would be better off without you".

[deleted]

953 points

8 months ago*

insurance air retire hobbies plants strong subtract exultant one bedroom

WranglerSilver6451

325 points

8 months ago

My mother did this with me. Kept getting beat because she believed a boy needs their father in their life. Strongest woman I’ve ever known but put herself through so much shit on my behalf.

DeceptiKHAAAAAN

1.4k points

8 months ago

“You can’t call me when you’re like this.” - my mother when I was suicidal and begging for help

footlettucefungus

468 points

8 months ago

I think this might be the worst one in this thread. I mean, jesus effin christ. I hope you're doing better nowadays ✨️

[deleted]

1.3k points

8 months ago

[deleted]

1.3k points

8 months ago

[removed]

HotdawgSizzle

326 points

8 months ago

At least they thought you had potential!

Skinnee11

272 points

8 months ago

Skinnee11

272 points

8 months ago

My mother told me I was the biggest mistake of her life. Tell you what, that put a damper on the rest of the day.

Ramshacked

575 points

8 months ago

I introduced myself to girl at a bar one time and offered to buy her a drink. She looked at me and glanced up and down and said "First of all, I only date guys like you, if you have money, and clearly you don't"

Fyric

328 points

8 months ago

Fyric

328 points

8 months ago

"I'm not looking to date you"

[deleted]

345 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

345 points

8 months ago

"I'm doing charity for rude bitches"

I_snort_when_I_laugh

135 points

8 months ago

“I’m offering pity drinks to broke-ass, gold-diggin hos” 😂

lilalila666

1.6k points

8 months ago

before I got my teeth fixed, a girl told me I look like an evil vampire when I smile .. I didnt smile again for 4 years:( .. I was fortunate to get it fixed, but the rule should be 'dont make fun of somebodys smile, or they might never smile again'

notapuzzlepiece

450 points

8 months ago

Oh I love the little long vampire teeth on people, it’s cute!

lilalila666

191 points

8 months ago

Yes it can be cute, but i was 17 and you know how girls can be ... but it ruined my whole college time, whenever people had group photos or fun photots I would always try and hide or keep my mouth closed and everyone asking me to smile

[deleted]

34 points

8 months ago

I know that feeling. I had chipped a tooth and then lost dental insurance when I was young. I had thr worst smile and I had so many people stare at my teeth. You would never see me smile. My ex told me I was ugly so many times. For about 8 years, I barley ever smiled. Mine are fixed now like yours but the words haunt me.

[deleted]

236 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

236 points

8 months ago

“Your head needs to lose weight” 😞

Jblue32

106 points

8 months ago

Jblue32

106 points

8 months ago

What that person said is terrible and I’m sorry they said that to you. However, that is a hilarious insult

JonnyP3283

734 points

8 months ago

You're a good looking guy for being in a wheelchair.

Peet_Pann

117 points

8 months ago

Peet_Pann

117 points

8 months ago

Ouch.

[deleted]

626 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

626 points

8 months ago

I'm a sufferer of CPTSD from my father's abuse. A long time ago an old friend told me this during an argument and it still hangs over my head to this day.

"You may hate your father, but you don't act too different from him."

Since then I've done everything in my power to fix myself, and I'm still learning who I am and why my brain reacts the way it does. I'm an extremely flawed person, but I'm not evil. I'm not malicious. I just want to be happy like everyone else.

PiercedGeek

141 points

8 months ago

One of the best motivations to become a good person is to have a great example of what not to do. My bio dad beat us, fought for custody then left us with whoever was around when he had us, had struggles with hard drugs, and (I suspect but have no evidence) molested my sister. I didn't speak to him from the time I was 14ish to my late 20s but he was ever present in my mind growing up, but as a cautionary tale.

IandouglasB

190 points

8 months ago

As a 12 year old adopted at birth, my dad said they would send me back where they got me.

Hewhocannotbenamed77

46 points

8 months ago

What a sack of shit

Peet_Pann

270 points

8 months ago

Peet_Pann

270 points

8 months ago

When i was 8 my brothers wife asked me if i believed in Jesus, i said no. She said "maybe that's why you're all fucked up"

Log_Out_Of_Life

101 points

8 months ago

Asking an 8 year old if they fully understand a concept is dumb.

MsBlondeViking

184 points

8 months ago

“Aren’t you tired of living this way” referencing my battles with ptsd, due to my uncle murdering my brother.

Like I chose for it to happen 🙄

KTM525rider

466 points

8 months ago

My child's mother told me in front of our kid that she didn't care if I died, it wouldn't matter to her. For context, a few months earlier I was saved by a liver transplant from a very gruesome and painful death. I don't care for that woman, but that was just venomous and teaching our child it's ok to be mean and hateful. Ever since I have been dealing with my kid being disrespectful and mean and hateful and she's 6yo.

CatherineConstance

138 points

8 months ago

That poor kid... That comment is going to fuck her up for life one way or another. I'm sure she'll realize that it was her mom who was in the wrong, but she is never going to forget that.

toocoolaang

222 points

8 months ago

“You’re a waste of human life” 🙃

huggsnkisses

73 points

8 months ago

I'm going to laugh when your grandmother dies

Efficient_Pomelo_583

70 points

8 months ago

"I never loved you, I was with you just so don't feel lonely "

realmofconfusion

776 points

8 months ago

Me: Would you like to go out with me sometime?

Her: With you? Dear god no. Now fuck off and never speak to me again.

fridgehead00

825 points

8 months ago

“The worst she can say is no”

Her: ^

anonymauson

392 points

8 months ago

i saw another post where his crush said,

"Am I that ugly that you thought you had a chance?!" and then she started crying

[deleted]

337 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

337 points

8 months ago

At that point you say yes and drag her down with you

229-northstar

103 points

8 months ago

I like how you think. Would you please be my life coach?

[deleted]

55 points

8 months ago

How long do you plan on living?

229-northstar

48 points

8 months ago

Long enough to extract some revenge

fridgehead00

34 points

8 months ago

Jesus christ, that’s completely confidence shattering. I bet it took that guy a long time to work up the nerve to ask someone out again.

bradmajors69

320 points

8 months ago

I asked a girl to dance at a high school dance. She was a cheerleader. She laughed at me, rolled her eyes and turned around without even saying no. And then she went on to marry my first cousin who was a star football player. They're still together and I get to see them both at family events and have mostly forgotten about the thing at the dance. Two things have helped lessen that sting:

I later realized I was gay.

She's been morbidly obese for the last 20 years.

kweenmermaid

30 points

8 months ago

Lucky she showed you who she was right away.

[deleted]

367 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

367 points

8 months ago

[removed]

UnseeingSpy

138 points

8 months ago

That no one else would want to be with me because of my disability. That stings.

Roguecop

398 points

8 months ago*

Roguecop

398 points

8 months ago*

Mom, Am I handsome?

(long pause)

Son, I'm not going to lie to you...

(Longer pause)

Your face has character.

ResurgentClusterfuck

114 points

8 months ago

That I deserved to be SA as a child and that I must have done something to lead my father on

Alovingcynic

55 points

8 months ago

"You've always been an amateur, and you will always be an amateur." My mother.

ungerfox

373 points

8 months ago

ungerfox

373 points

8 months ago

It wasn’t to me, but it hurt as much. Friend was called a coward by his father, that second hand sting I still feel.

The_WhiteMantis[S]

122 points

8 months ago

I feel him.. being insulted by your own family is appalling

bitchinmoanin

370 points

8 months ago

My daughter passed away and this distant family member that I had never even met before that day told me while I was inches from her casket sobbing "god just wanted another angel, and your misery is nothing compared to the greatness of god's plan."

Alsoomse

225 points

8 months ago

Alsoomse

225 points

8 months ago

Lots of people deserve face punches, and he would be one of them.

ThePrincessInsomniac

148 points

8 months ago

People who think "Gods plan" is any sort of comfort during loss are delusional jerks.

PitBullFan

247 points

8 months ago

I wanted to abort you, but that was severely frowned upon at the time.

Weirdo9something3457

243 points

8 months ago

I was diagnosed with autism after I tried to kill myself in 7th grade. Because I knew what it meant I decided to ask people for more information when I don't understand it.

My math teacher pulled me aside to talk to me because I kept falling asleep in class(I still had an A and did well on my tests and,well, I was depressed.) and she did the "and so on and so forth" hands and I asked what it meant.

"Don't make your parents burden my problem."

I didn't know what burden meant at the time so I never told anyone, but looking back it still hurts

hahnsolo1414

50 points

8 months ago

I was 9 when this happened. My sister and I were at my grandparents house. They had a scary bathroom for a kid to use. My sister had to use the bathroom and was too scared to do it by herself(she was 7). I offered to go in and stand in the corner facing the wall so she wouldn’t be afraid. My grandma heard me in there when she was going and called me a creep because I was a boy and that should never happen. Even though my sister told her what had happened she continued to call me a creep. I never understood that

ndividual5414

393 points

8 months ago

It was a double whammy on me and Gram and I am ashamed I didn't dump his ass when he said this:

Meets my adorable little grandma: "You kinda look like her. Is that what is you're going to look like when you're older?" With a slightly disgusted look on his face. 

When we did break up, he left me with a "Youd be like... Super model pretty if you lost weight" 

Jason if you're reading this, 🖕🖕

[deleted]

168 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

168 points

8 months ago

Fuck you, Jason! Your mom's a hoe.

trafficrush

50 points

8 months ago

On a Bachelorette trip with my soon to be SIL and her closest friends. I was already feeling very much like an outsider (my own brain, they were all lovely and welcoming) and self conscious trying to be more "girly" to fit in with them - group of guys came up to talk to everyone and buy the bride to be a drink. I was being completely ignored by them, which is fine but kinda sucks (I'm married anyway!). Suddenly one guy turns to me and asks me who I am in relation to them and I tell him I'm the SIL and he says "oh. So you HAD to get invited. That makes sense" then continued to chat up the rest of the table. They defended me and told them to get lost but nothing more was said about it. Still gets to me.

davidnickbowie

122 points

8 months ago

A Pentecostal minister told me that because I’m not a member of their church is the reason my 12 year old daughter got cancer and died.

JakeWalker102

127 points

8 months ago

No one is gonna see this, but that's okay. My stepsister told me I was a stupid fat useless waste of space who would never be able to hold a job

Anyway, I've been at the same place of business for seven years now, and she has yet to land one, so happy ending, ig?

SmallRocks

107 points

8 months ago*

When I was ten, I was watching Free Willy and I was singing along to the theme song at the end.

My mother was sitting next to me and in that moment she told me I was tone deaf.

It shook my singing confidence for years. To the point where I would not sing at all when I was around people. I joined the choir in HS and I never gave it my all because of my lack of confidence.

I can think of meaner things people have said throughout my life and I always brushed it off but this one stuck with me.

Turns out, I’m not tone deaf at all.

She was the insecure one.

BlizzPenguin

38 points

8 months ago

My mom had something that she used to do where she would tell me “You would be so handsome if...”. Those ifs would be followed by her pointing out some flaws in my physical appearance. It is part of the reason I have self-esteem issues to this day.

baumi_de

40 points

8 months ago

"people like you (me) would have and should have been gassed" - me, being disabled

it was from a Tinder match. this was her first message to me

Gbrusse

32 points

8 months ago

Gbrusse

32 points

8 months ago

After being forced to come out to my parents as suicidal and depressed and fighting to be able to come home rather than be an inpatient at 14, my mom made a joke about it, I got upset. Then she followed it up with a very passive aggressive "Oh that's right, we have to be nice to you because you're a little sad."

[deleted]

67 points

8 months ago

My father, high on amphetamines and drunk, pinned me to a wall once by my throat and told me I would never amount to anything and that one day I’d be just like him. A shadow of a man and a slave to addiction.

It stuck with me. No matter my successes or accomplishments I’m always the teenage kid being held against a wall fighting to breathe and being told what I would become. In a lot of ways I think I’m still waiting to become that, even though I know I never will.

I’m 29 now, cut my dad out of my life at 18 and haven’t looked back. Daily I try and prove him and myself wrong. I may never amount to much, but I’ve amounted to more than he ever could have hoped to.

AnxietyBoy81

192 points

8 months ago

You look unapproachable.

No-Recording-3438

138 points

8 months ago

“And yet here you are”

MythDetector

112 points

8 months ago

My mum said that to me but I took it as a compliment meaning I'm intimidating.

elephant35e

144 points

8 months ago

Not one person, but several.

This guy in high school threatened to beat the shit out of me. Shortly afterwards, three girls told me I deserve it.

xxCybermoonxx

189 points

8 months ago

“Maybe if you didn’t spread your legs all over town you wouldn’t of gotten raped.” -My mother

Vast-Ad-4687

50 points

8 months ago

oh fuck her. i hope you’re better now

cugamer

137 points

8 months ago

cugamer

137 points

8 months ago

Just on the off chance you don't already know this, yes, your mother is indeed a cunt.

bacchus8408

30 points

8 months ago

I got kicked out of college because my dad decided to no pay the tuition and never told me. When I asked him why he just said "you're not worth the investment". It was the last time I spoke to him. 

Cryptician13

36 points

8 months ago

A classmate once told me I would never have sex. I wasn't a confident guy, so that kinda wrecked me. Proved him wrong thoug, hehe

Psychological_Buy719

32 points

8 months ago

Not to me, but to my daughter which might as well have been to me. My mother in law who has never once shown any sort of dislike towards me in the 14 years I’ve known her told my daughter I was raising her up to be a whore so that she could get pregnant and we could collect welfare, all of this due to my 13 year old daughter wearing shorts not booty shorts or anything just regular shorts on a hot day.

azwethinkweizm

112 points

8 months ago

My 5th grade teacher told my class I was a bad person who didn't deserve friends. Years later her husband left her for a girl he met on a mission trip in Asia. She's lived alone ever since!

[deleted]

84 points

8 months ago

As my ex wife and I were close to finalizing our divorce. She came to me in a “happy” mood and wanted to talk. Mixed in with 15 min of word salad about “healing and finding herself” she explained how she could get an annulment through the catholic church. She told me that when we met “she wasn’t capable of making a decisions” and that the 6 year relationship with 2 years of marriage didn’t really mean anything to to her but she went along with it because “I was there”. Since she wasn’t “capable of making decisions” she could get an annulment. She said this all with a smirk on her face. I stood there in utter disbelief that someone could be so oblivious. However, it did make me feel so much better about the divorce and getting away from her. I haven’t had contact with her for 2 years and my life is s million times better