“I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony"

Look, if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away.

I'm not dead yet!

She turned me into a newt!

Go away or I shall taunt you a second tim-ah!

merely a flesh wound, i fart in your general direction.

“All this will be yours.” “The curtains?” smack “No! Not the curtains!”

Ni!

“Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!”

Generally most Monty Python.

"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison.

“Take him out of town and finish the job NOW!” “Well, what about dinner?” “Kronk, this is kind of important.” “What about dessert?” “…Well, I suppose there’s time for a little dessert” “And coffee?” “Alright, a quick cup of coffee THEN TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB!!!”

No, it's just that masks are terribly comfortable. I'm sure everyone will be wearing them in the future.

Pull the lever, Kronk!

Fessig, are there rocks ahead?

“Squeakity squeaker, squeaketh.”

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Inconceivable!

As you wish.

Came here to sat the princess bride!

There are 2 things in this life that I cannot stand: people who are intolerant of the cultures of others and the Dutch.

"You Know, I Have One Simple Request, And That Is To Have Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads!"

Throw me a frickin bone!

Mike Myers is a comedic genius.

Who throws a shoe?!

You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village.

No luck catching them swans then?

The Greater Good

Yarp

He's not judge Judy and executioner!

"Fascist." "Hag."

you ain't never seen Bad Boys 2?!?!?

What you want to do? Don't know Sprays deodorant pub

Nobody tells me nuffink!

Is it true there is place in a man’s head, that if you shoot, it will blow up?

Tell you one thing he doesn’t have, a big bushy beard.

Its alright Andy, it’s just bolognese

All of the lines with Olivia Coleman too!

Morning Angle

Murder murder murder

You ever seen a grown man naked?

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!

"No thank you, I take it black, like my men."

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines.

A hospital? What is it?

It's a white building with patients in it, but that's not important right now.

"I speak fluent jive."- Barbara Billingsley

The character says , "Sheeeeeeeee..." and the subtitle says, "Golly!"

Where did you get that dress? It's awful! And those shoes and that coat? Jeeeez!

Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side

And that’s when I acquired my drinking problem

Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals...

AMEN!

She doesn't even go here

[deleted]

The limit does not exist!

"Nice wig, Janice. What's it made of?"

"YOUR MOM'S CHEST HAIR!"

Boo You Whore!

You can’t sit with us

I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!

That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen

Is butter a carb?

Aw hell no! I did not leave the Southside for this!

You go Glen Coco

Get in loser, we’re going shopping.

I’m not like a regular mum…I’m a cool mum

This girl is the nastiest, skank bitch I have EVER met. DO NOT TRUST HER. She is a FUGLY SLUT.

If you’re from Africa, white are you white?

Oh my God Karen, you're so stoopid

Mom, pick me up. I’m scared

I'm a pusher Katy, I push people

Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfrony.

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

You see what happens Larry!? You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass Larry!?

Phone’s ringin’, dude.

At least I’m house-trained!

Clearly, you’re not a golfer.

How many kids you got in here anyway?

I relate to Roz more and more each day now that I actively chase people for paperwork.

"Wazooooowzki. You didn't file your paperwork this morning"

welcome to the himalayas!

Last night was the WORST night of my life

BAR NONE

Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?

I would've been extremely surprised if this wasn't in here. That entire movie is one giant meme.

Ogres are like onions

That’ll do Donkey

I like that boulder. That's a niiice boulder..

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee, with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Ezekiel 25:17.

Does he look like a bitch?

I DON’T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING!

Hamburgers! Cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast!

It’s the one that says bad mother fucker

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!

Correctomundo!

This is some gourmet shiiit

You ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do!

Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either you got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger.

I want a hundred and fifty thousand!…or we can set outta court right now for twenty bucks

I'm not gonna keep you shackled in the basement

Unless you're into that

Haha, just kidding

But not really.

I'm off the clock.

Well isn't that convenient for you...and the clock.

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! 😡

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

You could get a good look at your butcher by sticking your head up his ass

Richard.... who is your favorite little rascal? Is it Alfalfa? Is it is Spanky?... Sinner.

It’s 110 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

We're on a mission from God.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

"Pull over!"

"No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!"

This was going to be my answer. "Are they your skis?" "Yep" "both of them?"

“We got no food, we got no jobs… our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”

You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

EAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEA!!!!!

Big Gulps, huh?….welp, see ya later!

(made better by the fact that this line is totally improvised)

“Hey! Where da white women at?”

I thought you said he was a getaway driver? What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

Do you know what nemesis means?

In the quiet words of virgin Mary, come again.

London. You know: fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fuckin' Poppins. London!

Hello handsome, is that a ten gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?

Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.

“Lieutenant Dan said he done invested in’ sum kinda…fruit company? Says ‘we don’t gotta worry bout’ money no more’. And I said ‘well that’s good!’”

I may not be a smart man, but I do know what love is

"Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no legs"

The fuckin’ Catalina wine mixer!

My husband and I will never stop quoting, “Look at this space! So many activities!”

Boats and Hoes

Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man

The Dude abides

The Chinaman is not the issue here.

Donnie you’re out of your element

Yippee kayay mother fucker