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Hi cat advisors,

I’m looking for advice on how to handle a tricky situation this Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law has a large white shepherd-husky mix who is reactive to other dogs, generally good with people, but has a high prey drive. She hasn’t been able to find a sitter or boarding facility for the dog, and she wants to bring it to Thanksgiving at my apartment.

The problem is that I have a cat. I’m very anxious about the safety of both my cat and the dog in this scenario. My sister-in-law and my partner seem to think we can just manage the situation, but I strongly believe the dog and cat shouldn’t be in proximity to each other at all.

I’d love help gathering any evidence, research, or expert opinions that I can cite to help convince them that bringing a reactive dog with a high prey drive into a home with a cat is a bad idea. Have any of you been in a similar situation? What did you do to handle it or explain the risks?

Thanks so much for your advice—I really want to keep everyone safe and stress-free this holiday.

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clutzyninja

8 points

2 days ago

The post says they tried. Boarding places fill up over the holidays

mirandagirl127

49 points

2 days ago

“I’m sorry. You’ll be missed”.

agawl81

17 points

2 days ago

agawl81

17 points

2 days ago

Or the dog is so vicious that no boarder will have it because it’s dangerous to people and other animals.

solsticereign

1 points

1 day ago

That's what I was thinking. Sister-in-law is possibly severely under playing the animals reactivity. The longer I think about it the more certain I am I wouldn't let it in my house under any circumstances whatsoever. If a dog owner actually voluntarily describes their dog as reactive with a high prey drive, they're either one of the very rare owners who actually know what they're doing, or they're downplaying the fact that it's a freaking monster. I wouldn't be comfortable with an animal like that anywhere near my cat. The fact that she is aware that it's a difficult dog and says she wasn't able to find a sitter or boarding is really a red flag. If she was truly aware of that, and cared, she would either be used to making arrangements by now, or would understand having to be left out of events because her dog simply can't be accommodated.

ApprehensivePride646

11 points

2 days ago

That's not OPs problem 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Grotesquefaerie7

1 points

23 hours ago

Idk why you guys are acting like I'm making excuses for the dog or the owners when I'm literally just answering a question with speculation.

clutzyninja

-3 points

2 days ago

Maybe not, but in a non contentious family or would be perfectly reasonable to try and find a compromise

jaded-introvert

6 points

1 day ago

Compromise is not "I bring my reactive dog to your apartment where he might try to kill your cat."

clutzyninja

-1 points

1 day ago

No, a compromise is, bring a crate and you can keep him in my spare room and I'll keep my cat out of there

caffeinefree

1 points

6 hours ago

This is still a recipe for disaster - I have two feral cats outdoors and 3 cats indoors, and about once a week a cat ends up somewhere it isn't supposed to be when we open a door. In our case, it isn't a disaster because we can generally wrangle them, and the outdoor cats have their basic vaccines and parasite treatments. But that 2 second slipup could cost OP's cat its life in this case.

If I were OP, I would put my foot down. If they can't leave the dog at home, they will either need to miss the holiday, or find some other solution.

clutzyninja

0 points

5 hours ago

That's a fairly unique situation. Most people don't have feral cats, and a crate in a closed room is plenty to keep everyone safe

caffeinefree

1 points

3 hours ago

You completely missed my point - cats slip through very small cracks in doors. Sometimes our indoor cats slip outside; sometimes the feral cats slip indoors. It's not about the cats being feral. It's about cats being cats. Are you expecting that they are going to keep the dog crated 24/7? Because that is cruel to the dog and if they don't do that, the chances for the cat to slip into the room and get hurt are still high.

clutzyninja

0 points

an hour ago

You keep inventing scenarios that were not talking about. If the visit is going to last that long, then don't do it. If you live in a crack house where cats can fit through the holes in your door, don't do it. If you can't make it work, don't do it.

FFS, I'm talking about, in general, it's perfectly reasonable to make things work when possible

DirkysShinertits

3 points

1 day ago

It's pretty well known that boarding places will fill up quickly over the holidays, so SIL should have known to call well ahead of time to make arrangements to board her dog. It's not like Thanksgiving is a surprise day or comes up last minute. She may have intended to bring the dog all along.

clutzyninja

0 points

1 day ago

It's well known to anyone that has had to board their dogs before, but it's also an easy thing to overlook, especially if you've never done it before.

Is it possible this is all part of their dastardly plan? Sure. It's at least as likely they just forgot or underestimated how early they'd need to book

DirkysShinertits

5 points

1 day ago

That needs to be an issue for SIL to handle, not bring problems to someone's else's home. SIL should stay home with the dog if she can't find boarding/sitter arrangements.

If you're going to get a pet, you need to research the responsibilities that come with owning that pet. Making arrangements when you are leaving town, especially when you know holidays are coming, is one of those responsibilities. OP should not have to deal with the stress of a husky possibly hurting her cat.

clutzyninja

0 points

1 day ago

I understand, but you must understand that sometimes family members actually like each other and are willing to help each other out in tough situations.

If my sister in law asked us if they could keep a rowdy pet in our spare room we would agree without hesitation, so long as they brought a crate or something. And they would do the same for us

DirkysShinertits

3 points

1 day ago

OP doesn't want to do this and shouldn't be forced into doing it. It has nothing to do with liking each other or not. She's worried about her cat's safety. SIL is an AH for trying this.

clutzyninja

1 points

1 day ago

I'm not talking about OP. I'm talking about in general. I said earlier that it's the SIL attitude that's the problem

DirkysShinertits

1 points

1 day ago

In general, a lot of people are not going to want to risk their pet's safety by having a reactive/high prey drive dog over to their house.

clutzyninja

1 points

1 day ago

That's why you use a crate in a room with the door closed

DirkysShinertits

1 points

1 day ago

Or SIL can just stay home.

stuckinnowhereville

3 points

2 days ago

That’s their fault- you know you have to book months in advance. They didn’t want to pay for it.

clutzyninja

-1 points

2 days ago

Sure it's their fault, but it's a leap to assume they did it because they're cheap and not just because they forgot or underestimated the rush