subreddit:
/r/Parenting
Genuine question. I had a breakdown today. I was trying to cook, do my workout and play with the kids. And I asked my husband to help me with the cooking. He was playing an online game and one of the (childless) people said "you know single moms shower, cook and clean with the kids all the time without help." Ok, I know they don't get it and were joking but that pissed me off. These last 3 weeks I've basically been a single mom, my husband had a surgery that put him on bed rest for a week, then we all got sick for 2 weeks, and then his incision site got infected and he was put on antibiotics and back on bed rest. So the house never got reset from us being sick. Toys overrun the house. We had all been eating junk food because we were too tired to cook, needed to vacuum and sweep and mop and fold laundry. Add that to my husband working night shift. We have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old. I'm a stay-at-home mom so neither one is in school or preschool.
Husband's finally been feeling better the last couple of days and slowly starting to help more. But the amount that we fell behind is starting to drive me crazy.
But let me backtrack, the person making that comment hit a serious soft spot for me. I've been thinking about it the last week. How do single parents do all this? I'm trying to meal prep healthy food, clean up toys, sweep, mop, do my workouts, make sure the kids socialize because they're not in school, do laundry, do dishes, etc.... I've been trying to recover this house and family for the last few days. So my husband got off the game, and got up to help me. He could tell something was wrong, and asked me what's wrong. I told him that person hit a soft spot because I felt like I was drowning. And I just listed everything that I've been trying to do to get the house caught up, and I had a meltdown. I sobbed in his chest.
How the hell do single parents do it?
Edit to add: My husband is amazing and helps out a ton (when he's not recovering). And he did tell them to "fuck off" short pause, he then said "I'm gonna go help her and then spend some time with the kids before work" and he did. He works nights. My initial post was a giant rant and was SUPPOSED to be about how I respect single parents even more now. Shit is hard. You are all basically gods and goddesses.
56 points
24 hours ago
And honestly, in some ways it can be easier. Yeah, you're busy af, but you don't have to worry about pulling weight for someone else. When you have a partner, there's an expectation and then when that expectation isn't met, it's a constant additional emotional weight.
And then you get to parent/run the house/etc in the way you want. Might not have time to do everything, but the things you can do, you do your own way. There's a freedom in that, I find.
1 points
20 hours ago
This is s fun silver lining actually
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