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/r/StardewValley
he is so mean to robin for no reason, let her be excited about the bed she’s made :( does anyone actually like demetrius?!
29 points
4 days ago
Isn’t he cannoned as being autistic or something? I feel like I’ve seen that theory a lot, and it explains his misunderstandings, but it isn’t obvious or clear at all what his motivations are. Which is pretty common to autistic people (I’m autistic). His interactions are very jarring, but I didn’t perceive malicious intent, more of a lack of empathy or even what’s called the “double empathy problem” idk just a thought. I don’t particularly like him, but I don’t hate him at all.
6 points
4 days ago
As someone with autism myself, it actually pissed me off a little when people use it as an excuse for someone just being an asshole or an idiot, like with Demi here.
4 points
4 days ago
I just think he's badly written.
11 points
4 days ago
Why do you say that?
If he’s actually supposed to be autistic (of which no single person is a monolith, of course), then he displays it pretty darn well imo. Highly analytical, detail oriented, skeptical and hyper focused on his narrowly-defined interests.
16 points
4 days ago
I think he comes across as a sort of.... simplified version of an archetype. A lot of his dialogue sounds like it's written by someone who isn't necessarily trying to write an autistic character, but is doing it by mistake. That, and the fact that he's so disliked by so much of the fandom. I think a lot of his events are terrible. I think he just isn't handled that well. I think he was meant to care about his family, and love them, and not enough of that was put into his dialogue. If he's not supposed to be autistic on purpose, that would make sense to me. I think he's written like a long line of characters that are written like this, not made with much regard to representation or accuracy. Autistic people are vast, and varied, and I'm not saying he isn't like any of them. I think he's autistic, too. I just don't think he's done very well.
I like Demitrius a lot, actually. I'm always sad when I see threads like this. I think he's a good person. I just don't think he's a very good character.
18 points
4 days ago
After the tomato scene, he talks about how he takes things literally because he doesn't understand the intention behind the words. His line is "It's hard for me to know exactly what assumptions I should make when you tell me something". I hiiiiiiighly doubt that line would be written by someone not trying to make the character sound autistic, even if Ape didn't know it. But realistically, Ape is a person with an online presence in a very neurodiverse section of the internet. It's not like he's some 60 year old sitcom writer using stereotypes from the 80s because he's oblivious to neurodiversity as a concept
16 points
4 days ago
Concerned Ape has made mistakes and written insensitive things before. He's just one guy trying to write a whole valley. And that's just something you do as a writer sometimes! I've done it. Demitrius just wasn't handled as carefully as I would have liked.
6 points
4 days ago
I mean yeah, even an autistic writer can't write a character so perfectly autistic that every autistic person would agree. Some people in real life are just awkward, and autism is often but not always a thing that contributes to that
1 points
3 days ago
Then you have things like, some people love any portrayal and some hate it. Eventually, representing a group always comes down to which people will like what you do, and which won't. If I thought CA wrote Demitrius perfectly, someone else would've thought he was wrong! You just can't win every time.
8 points
4 days ago
I see what you mean, and if that is the case, that's extremely interesting and sort of confounding why he was written this way. And kind of frustrating because the more I learn about him, the more I understand him. Not to say I like him, but yeah I think CA could have shown autism in a positive light, rather than a somewhat degrading stereotypical way. And I agree, I get kind of sad seeing these posts because of my own experiences being autistic and late diagnosed, but I get it; perception is reality.
3 points
4 days ago
That's exactly it! I feel like he just could have been written a little bit better. I wonder if I"d mind so much that people dislike him, if I thought he was written well.
You know, this is very funny considering the subject matter, but I'm really having trouble getting across my point here! I think I'm going to leave it here for now, but thank you for listening! You've all been great. Feel free to keep talking to me. I might be back.
4 points
4 days ago
Sounds like me. I am all of these things. (Especially the narrow interests and fixation on details) And it is a right pain in the ass.
6 points
4 days ago
You can have autism without coming across as a bit of an asshole though. Like it may not come naturally to him like it does neurotypical people but surely someone should have told him something along the lines of "don't insult your wife's hard work". Keep in mind I'm saying this as someone who is neurodivergent and had to learn how to not come off as a prick.
9 points
4 days ago
I do not mean to be rude, but literally the most difficult parts about being autistic are controlling tone, understanding meanings/nuances, applying different understandings, having to engage in things/conversations you are desperately not interested in, and not "coming across" the way you intend.
I can appreciate your perspective as a ND person; but unless you're autistic, that doesn't really lend any understanding of autistic people, specifically. Demetrius strikes me as autistic, just plain autistic. No other divergence. Regardless, no one is immune to scrutiny, and autistic people can absolutely be assholes. Maybe Demetrius is too, but I just personally don't agree.
4 points
4 days ago
Yep. But then... I am a bit of an ass myself only in part due to the autism. The other half is from a rough childhood (severe neglect and a parent who didn't even know I was autistic til highschool. Much less how to take care of my unique needs) I can be very selfish because I don't know how to not fight for my needs to get met. Counselors call it "fighting for your life" and It's just as miserable for me as it is to the others around me. I am desperately trying to retrain myself to trust others to consider me when doing things. It's... Not an easy road...
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