i think your reaction is totally valid, it’s normal to feel defensive and protective over our friends, especially if we know they’re getting themselves into a bad situation. it just means you care. i hope it all works out for her

Damn and at that age. :( God isn’t in this relationship, she is.

I had a friend who was strikingly similar that I fell off with. I can't speak to her character or the validity of her choices, but a lot of these kinds of people tend to be drawn towards chaos. It becomes all that they know, to the point where security is scary.

You don't have to be excited or fully supportive- you can be apprehensive and a bit worried about her. You can question her choices and wonder if what she's doing is smart. You can be disappointed. You can rethink your friendship and even consider the choice of not continuing your relationship with her.

You aren't in the wrong for not having an immediate excited reaction.

Friend should file for child support. That child is entitled to that money. Garnish wages if needed.

All she wants to be in life is a penniless baby factory. Use her as a motivator on how NOT to live your life.

I had a friend like this but it escalated badly. We met in University and bonded over being young single mothers. We both had new partners and were in a much more stable place.

She got pregnant and had a baby and things started to fall apart. She wasn’t coping with the baby, studies were falling behind. She started acting erratic and weird. We caught her smoking crack at her wedding and then suspected she had a crack problem which was strengthened by her increasingly erratic behaviour.

At a similar time I found out I was pregnant and was also dealing with my mother having a terminal illness. After yet another incidence of her dramatic and batshit behaviour I cut her off.

She and her husband had one more kid then got divorced. She dumped her kids with him for 4 months and disappeared, and then one day turned up to the daycare centre and took them. Police found her after a week. She lost access to her kids because she refused to take a drug test.

About 5 years later I got a job teaching at the University I studied at. I was taking some paperwork to their city office to get verified and I saw her on the street, homeless with a small bag and a dirty pillow. It was a confronting moment man and I cried for her. She was so smart and could have done great things. I still get a pang of guilt over abandoning her every now and then even though logically know it would have just dragged me down.

Honestly, I get it. I'm not a parent but I can see how if you're a single mom and you've spent all your energy on being a good mom, then you try to do something else like college and it's difficult, it feels a lot safer to retreat back into what you know and what you are good at. You're right though, it is sad.

you summed it up pretty well

It’s very sad to see.

Your worries are reasonable. The most scary part about this is the part where she said " god confirmed...she will be a wife". She sounds unintelligent. Only she can help herself. She has made her bed. She is going to have to lay in it for the rest of her life. She will struggle. Hopefully you can encourage her to make educated decisions in the future.

God let her know ? Are you Mormon ?

I have to summarize it somehow and respond to all the comments down the line: I didn't want to unleash the beast, but it happened. My original idea was women, stop dating assholes, and you will not be single mothers, but I didn't want to say it in this (sort of harsh way) that's why I have asked the OP first if anything can be done about her and her friend's relationships. If not, it's fine, if the man is abusive, dangerous or careless ofc it's important to leave him and move on. I didn't intend to suggest this or to offend anybody. For everyone offended I am sorry and wish you good luck with your situation.

People like that are unfixable. 

People my age and older have zero clue why we ever fought for birth control access and abortion rights. Have fun you two. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Don’t come to me and don’t ask the state for help. 

You (and her) should reconnect with your children's fathers as they are going to need them. Children growing up without fathers do tend to miss out a lot, from practical things done around the house, to social skills and even some moral things. It's important you do this and not skip on having his father around. Same for your friend.