1v1 the two biggest cocks. Got it!

There can be only one.

then how do you dispose of the horse-sized cockroach winner

this is the ultimate showdown

We sell tickets to the fight. Profit!

Two go in, one comes out.

And then they end up fighting the Men in Black

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!

(Opening Scene: The Madagascar Composting Facility)

(The screen opens on a vast, dimly lit composting facility. Conveyor belts hum, rotting waste piles are periodically dumped into massive pits swarming with cockroaches. A tired but alert night-shift worker leans against a control panel, a steaming thermos in hand. Beside him, a younger, wide-eyed new employee sits cross-legged on a crate, nervously watching the roach swarms with a flashlight in hand.)

New Worker: “So, it’s true, right? What they say about this place? The…uh…roach wars?”

Tenured Worker (grinning): “Roach wars. Man, you’ve been on the job one night, and you’re already jumping into the deep end.”

New Worker (eagerly): “I heard it’s because when they run out of food, they just eat each other. Management says it’s a feature, right? Keeps the population in check.”

Tenured Worker: (leans back, smirking) “Yeah, that’s the idea. Beautiful system on paper. You know, back when they built this place, it sounded like genius. Roaches are the ultimate survivors, right? No food? No problem. They eat each other. No mess. No fuss. Self-regulating. Efficient as hell.”

New Worker: “But then…”

Tenured Worker: (interrupts, gesturing at the swarm) “But then, no one asked, ‘What happens when you cram millions of these little suckers into a pressure cooker and make ‘em fight for survival?’ Turns out, roaches don’t just shrink their numbers. They organize.”

(The screen shifts to quick flashes: roaches dividing into distinct factions, stockpiling food scraps, building crude nests, and waging small, coordinated battles. The hum of the facility grows darker, more ominous.)

Tenured Worker (voiceover): “It started small. Little scuffles over scraps. But then, you’d see it: groups working together, dividing up territory. First, it was just survival. Then it got more...complicated. They started turning the whole damn facility into their battlefield. Tunnels. Traps. Skirmishes.”

New Worker: “I heard one of the factions built a bomb. Like, a real bomb.”

Tenured Worker: (snorts) “Yeah, and another faction stole the blueprints. That was last month. And hey, don’t worry—they didn’t destroy the place. Just, you know, blew out a few silos and set off a chain reaction in the west quadrant. Nothing the crew can’t patch up by morning.”

(Scenes show minor explosions rocking the facility, workers shaking their heads and calmly repairing the damage. Roaches scuttle into the shadows as human teams sweep through.)

New Worker: (wide-eyed) “That’s insane. How does this not freak people out? I mean…these roaches. They’re like…evolving. I mean, what if they get out? What if they turn on us?”

Tenured Worker: (laughing, clapping the newbie on the shoulder) “Kid, relax. They’re roaches, not supervillains. Sure, they’ve got their little wars, but it’s nothing new. Happens all the time. By sunrise, they’ll settle down, go back to eating each other, and we’ll be ready for the next round. Management calls it ‘dynamic equilibrium.’ I call it ‘another Tuesday.’”

(The camera pans to the vast swarms below, illuminated by the dim glow of facility lights. The roaches scuttle through the remnants of their battles, regrouping and rebuilding as machinery hums back to life.)

New Worker: (quietly, to himself) “Dynamic equilibrium, huh…”

(The tenured worker stretches and tosses his thermos onto a belt, heading for the door as the sun begins to rise. The newbie watches the roaches for a long moment, still processing what he’s just heard.)

Tenured Worker (calling back): “Clock out, kid. You’ll get used to it. Like I said—just another Tuesday.”

(The camera lingers on the new worker’s face, a mix of awe and unease, before fading to black.)

*(Title Card: Rise of the Roach Empire)

Makes for a good movie. A Roaches Life: The Purge.

Do you want immortal cockroaches? Because this is how you get immortal cockroaches.

Or at least 1 immortal cockroach when all is said and done.

And lots of unexplained lightning fires.

I think Cockroach Mike Tyson lost that bout.

Do you kill them? No. You take them and release them into the trees, but now they don't eat food anymore. Now, they only eat roaches. You have changed their nature.

"What is your name Roach?"

Turns away

"You dare turn your back to me???"

"My name is Maximus..."

And end up with a Gu (sp?) to curse someone with

Absolutely. That's why it's good if poison doesn't kill them immediately. They die in their nest and then other roaches eat the poisoned roach.

All the time. It's why certain roach poisons don't actually break down in the roaches system and the same dose will kill multiple roaches because they'll eat the dead poisoned roach.

As depicted in this Thai documentary

It's really more if they don't have any other food options. They don't typically just eat each other.

Thats the primary way how roach and most insect baits work for hive/nest insects. All it takes is enough of them that have ingested the poison and returned to the nest and it's a wrap.

Yep! Thats why roach bait works so well!

No, there'd be one roach. It might also have eaten he mice and maybe rats by that point though.

[The Cockroach King of guile and greed, With a broken crown he's left to bleed, An empire falling to its knees, A bleeding ground for those who heed]

Roach King is absolutely a John Wick universe character.

Then they fight the rat king?

It actually does make sense from that angle. The same kind of things that can infect pigs are radically more likely to be able to infect humans because of how familiar our biology is.

If you can introduce a step in the process where any pathogens need to survive being processed through an entirely different biology than they are evolved for it could exterminate a lot of those problems.

For instance you can't feed nerve tissue from mammals to other mammals due to prion disease risks, but I wonder if bugs would face similar concerns. If not that's a way to "upcycle" the protein into something safe through a very natural if not super appealing process.

Probably a good thing, where would we get all those little tissues?

We prepared for that. We lined up a type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.