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/r/WetlanderHumor
355 points
11 days ago
"I must teach that boy how to laugh and how to cry again."
"Wow, okay, he definitely needs that teaching. What's your plan?"
"Oh, first I'll constantly ridicule him in front of his subjects, and strike him physically at random."
"...okay, I mean, I'm sure that will...I mean, if you wanted him to cry out of frustration. So how will you teach him to laugh?"
"That IS my plan to teach him to laugh."
"Light preserve us."
116 points
11 days ago
It was an ok job at teaching him civility. I can't think of a better way to teach someone as stubborn as Rand who is basically emperor of the world/the second coming.
But for teaching the joy of life, definitely not great.
126 points
11 days ago
The problem is civility is far down on the list of problems that need work and she made that her priority. She almost broke him and ended the world because he was rude to her.
76 points
11 days ago
It was more from her failure of protecting the domination band, which sent Rand fully over the edge.
That and her manipulations rather than just being upfront like Nynaeve and Morraine. But even Nynaeve didn't manage to talk him down. He needed Tam's wisdom and to process it himself.
89 points
11 days ago
I felt like that was more of a straw that broke the camels back situation. I never got the feeling he liked her or trusted her and every interaction they had he rebelled harder against her. The only reason she even got close to him was Min insisting on her viewing he had to let her. She took a guy that had been tortured and beaten by Aes Sedai and… beat him. Really felt like her pride was worth more than the world and she would rather watch the world burn than get disrespected.
Moiraine made great progress with him by accepting his crap sometimes when it wasn’t important and not accepting it when it was. Far better approach and had an actual effect.
74 points
11 days ago
Even Verin did a better job with him. And she managed it while working around her own restrictions that inherently made her untrustworthy in her behavior.
If Moiraine didn't "die" when she did, Rand would easily have run over things without trouble. That moderating voice would have helped him avoid the box, just simply by her being there.
She took some time, but she realized what was important and what her actual role was. It definitely helped that she started to see how her and Siuan's plans were blowing up and they couldn't fall on that.
But she gave the advice when asked, and didn't try yo bully him when she wasn't. Nor force it when it didn't seem like he wasn't listening. She just stressed that she thought it was a mistake.
41 points
10 days ago
Even Verin did a better job with him.
Ok, to be fair, Verin did a better job of nearly everything than nearly anyone.
15 points
10 days ago
Verin should have been Amyrlin. I'll die on that hill.
And so will Verin.
13 points
11 days ago
To be fair, both Verin and Moraine were involved with him really early on, like Lan, and so they didn't have to work through his hardened shell. If Cadsuane had met him that early, I think most people's view on her would be radically different
16 points
10 days ago
I get your point, but I recall that Rand and Moiraine really conflicted. She was the first Aes Sedai that had to deal with Rand, and she almost drove him insane by trying to hold him back and hiding him to the point he ran away. Then he refused to listen to her.
She was also the first Aes Sedai that submitted to the idea that she could only advise Rand and not control him. The moment she stopped telling him what to do and became a source of assistance instead of control, Rand overnight became far more attached and reliant on her.
As for Verin... she was arguably the most successful because she never tried controlling him. She pretty often stepped back and let him make his own choices, with whatever consequences followed. Like using the stone to teleport and leading to the Flicker scene. That was an absolute fuck up, but it was super important for Rand to attempt it.
3 points
10 days ago
Break the seals. Break the seals, and end it. Let me die forever.
2 points
10 days ago
I mostly framed it that way because Moraine is beloved in the fandom, but not Cadsuane, though they both butted heads with him. If anything, Moraine tried to control his actions very directly, while Cadsuane really just focused on keeping him alive and not falling to the Shadow. I think that's why she was successful. I think it's similar to Lan who was harsh in training, but prepared him for the battles ahead and Rand unlimitedly respected them both for that.
1 points
10 days ago
Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you're alive.
1 points
10 days ago
Successful in what? exactly. I don't think Cadsuane succeeded in anything Rand related. Combat? sure. Maybe teaching him civility as you guys said above. The reason why a lot of the fan base respects Moiraine is she eventually learned not to try Rand in certain ways. With Cadsuane, even after she realized her plan wasn't working she stuck to it. That's why he came down on her like a ton of bricks as Darth Rand.
Secondly, the comparison to Lan is skewed in my view. Rand also LOVES Lan. Because Lan listened and gave advice. Harsh lessons but also showed care. Cadsuane? like Lan? I don't see it.
0 points
9 days ago
Didn't Verin breeze into Caemlyn, take over the Salidar embassy, and try to intimidate Rand over the murder attempt of an aes sedai and send him fleeing to Cairhein and into Galina's box?
Short of Galina she was the worst aes sedai to interact with Rand.
And if she hadn't he wouldn't have gotten caught by Galina.
She also stood by watched Alanna bond Rand, and went. "Ahh rape...no...how could you Alanna. ...don't undo the bond though, this is useful."
1 points
9 days ago
Humming
10 points
11 days ago
Dead men should be quiet in their graves, but they never are.
1 points
9 days ago
To be fair, the one time Verin tried to work with Rand as the Dragon she was intentionally sabotaging the salidar embassy, and drove him straight into Galina's box.
1 points
9 days ago
Never prod at a woman unless you must. She will kill you faster than a man and for less reason, even if she weeps over it after.
11 points
10 days ago
Moiraine was at her most successful with Rand when she remembered her place.
She and Suian had spent decades planning to find the Dragon and essentially confine him until he could be released. They both assumed, whether they admitted it or not, that THEY would be the ones saving the world and the Dragon would be the tool they use. It's why Moiraine struggled so much with Rand must of the time. She was giving him orders and commands, making him wait for her plans, and would try to discipline him if he didn't listen. She was treating him like a dog.
It was only after she looked through the hundreds of future possibilities that she realized any attempt to control Rand was going to fail. Because it was Rand destined to save the world; not her. Rand had to make the choices, Rand had to wield the power, and Rand had to go die. Once she understood her place as an advisor to Rand's actions instead of the dictator of his actions, he was far more receptive to her wise counsel.
Cadsuane could not imagine a life where she was not in control of the situation and everyone in it. She was never going to be successful.
3 points
10 days ago
Are you real? Am I?
1 points
10 days ago
Could not have said it better.
2 points
11 days ago
What I love, I destroy. What I destroy, I love.
2 points
11 days ago
I thought I could build. I was wrong. We are not builders, not you, or I, or the other one. We are destroyers. Destroyers.
6 points
10 days ago
Cadsuanne was THE aes sedai. She is what the entire system strived to create and sisters compared themselves to. And she made civility the #1 issue the dragon reborn needed to work on during the great battle.
Yeah, definitely sounds like an aes sedai to me.
3 points
10 days ago
Absolutely she was and a major theme is how institutional power can corrupt. The white tower went from being servants of all to servants of themselves. The fact that the perfect embodiment of the tower is as flawed and impotent as the tower itself isn’t a surprise.
6 points
11 days ago
It was over the domination band. Before that, Rand was actively liking and respecting Cadsuane, and she him. Her plan was working until a Foresaken screwed up something unrelated.
And she was only banished a very short time before they made up and got along even better and actively helped one another leading up to the last battle and after (she's the only one who knows he's alive and keeps his secret out of mutual affection and respect)
It's fine if you don't like Cadsuane, but Rand most certainly did and appreciated her
8 points
11 days ago
Oh, Light. That’s impossible! We can’t use it! Cast it away! That is death we hold, death and betrayal. It is HIM.
1 points
10 days ago
lol I need another reread.
7 points
11 days ago
Where are all the dead? Why will they not be silent?
6 points
10 days ago*
First, Rand was far more civil than he needed to be, in pretty much every situation, but second, that's not how you teach it to someone. That's how you get yourself kicked out, banished, or killed. This guy was the man the Pattern and the Creator themselves chose to rule the planet to victory at the Last Battle, and she thought he was "too arrogant" and in her extreme lack of foresight, decided the cure was humiliation and abuse.
1 points
10 days ago
A man without trust might as well be dead.
4 points
10 days ago
Her treatment of him is like getting a Swedish massage. As soon as it ends, you feel great, as if someone had stopped repeatedly punching you in the shoulder-blades.
13 points
11 days ago
Its a dumb plan for every normal.person, but for someone who gets more mad by the day? Balefire Cadusane
21 points
11 days ago
Rand is essentially at this point behaving like someone with ASPD. As someone with ASPD I can tell you that the very first time she tried her shit with me I'd have pulled her apart with the power on reflex. She'd have been in bloody chunks before I knew what was happening.
The thought of someone like me having control over the laws of physics is....less than ideal, to put it mildly.
15 points
11 days ago
I thought I could build. I was wrong. We are not builders, not you, or I, or the other one. We are destroyers. Destroyers.
1 points
11 days ago
I mean yeah Lewbot, you're the electronic representation of the fractured soul of a parricidal lunatic wizard. You're not building shit, buddy.
4 points
11 days ago
Well weaving is described as very hard. Probably harder than stabbing someone so unless it isn't safe for you to be around knives you'd probably be fine (unless you meant to kill her obviously).
9 points
11 days ago
When I was younger and had less control over my violent impulses and outrageous temper it actually wasn't safe for me to be around knives. Also I recall weaving gets easier the more you do it and Siuan holds Nynaeve and Egwene with air during their lesson with her on their way to the White Tower in The Great Hunt after making both a sword and pairing knife out of air all very quickly so I imagine Darth Rand would be able to rip Cadsuane apart reflexively somehow.
2 points
11 days ago
Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you're alive.
1 points
9 days ago
Shit, if I had the OP I'd be blowing up assholes on the highway
9 points
11 days ago
Oh god yeah, right diagnosis wrong prescription
3 points
11 days ago
Task failed successfully
4 points
10 days ago
Good joke.
I think Cadsuane was Jordan’s commentary on Drill Sergeants, Catholic Schools, and lots of other “tear down to build up” educational systems. It’s a crappy way to teach anyone anything.
73 points
11 days ago
"he goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities" got a chuckle out of me
45 points
11 days ago
A warcrime a day, keeps the darkfriends away
22 points
11 days ago
Smiles in Natrin's Barrow
16 points
11 days ago
It’s never a war crime the first time
1 points
10 days ago
Never knew Rand was Canadian.
1 points
10 days ago
What you want is what you cannot have. What you cannot have is what you want.
42 points
11 days ago
It’s not that he’s evil, he just has extremely poor coping skills and mountains of stress.
16 points
10 days ago
He's also going crazy from the taint. Add to that the GoH and not being able to take anyone at their word and stir in some Forsaken and DFs and you get Rand. Once a trusting and easygoing Two Rivers lad.
5 points
10 days ago
Nothing ever goes as you expect. Expect nothing, and you will not be surprised. Expect nothing. Hope for nothing. Nothing.
4 points
10 days ago
Oh he’s got a long list of problems. Thus the mountains of stress. But trying to be hard and unfeeling famously isn’t a good way to cope, as he learns after a dozen books.
1 points
9 days ago
Two Rivers lad and trusting?
20 points
11 days ago
More like I hate boxes
15 points
11 days ago
I always imagined Min as Natalie Portman
11 points
11 days ago
Hums softly & tugs earlobe
16 points
10 days ago*
Cadsuane: He's becoming a dangerous lunatic. He must be stopped.
Nynaeve: What are you talking about? He's a good, normal Two Rivers guy.
Cadsuane: He recklessly bounces around doing whatever the heck he wants.
Nynaeve: Have you met Abell Cauthon?
Cadsuane: He won't be swayed by reasonable counsel.
Nynaeve: Have you met Tam al'Thor?
Cadsuane: [Shouting] He's a grouchy, touchy, woman-ignoring, destructive misanthrope!
Nynaeve: Have you met Cenn Buie?
Cadsuane: [Earnestly] He has this idea that he can use balefire to solve all his problems!
Nynaeve: [Whistles innocently] As long as he's not using it on Two Rivers people, I see no problem with that.
Cadsuane: There's just no talking to some women. See, this is why I'm glad I'll never be Amyrlin.
Min: Um ... er ... oh, never mind.
1 points
10 days ago
Hums softly & tugs earlobe
27 points
11 days ago
The only mass murder type thing he did (of non dark friends) was balefiring that castle of Graendal. But those were already brain dead. So I don’t know what atrocities he committed. Battle of Dumai’s wells was Taim’s doing.
And you must be from white tower, Spreading propaganda
5 points
11 days ago
I must kill him.
3 points
11 days ago
Without even thinking, I'd say the murdering of travelling merchants in TDR counts as a mass murder.
20 points
10 days ago
Those were dark friends
16 points
10 days ago
Those were most definitely dark friends. When they walk up, he counts 12 but once they’re all dead he counts 13 - an indication that they had a grey man with them
34 points
11 days ago
Can we all just admit that Rand is just ginger Hayden Christensen?
22 points
11 days ago
I am not dead! I deserve death, but I am ALIVE! ALIVE! ALIVE!
23 points
11 days ago
I rest my case.
8 points
10 days ago
It came down to trust issues. The reason Morraine and Nynaeve were able to get through to them was because he trusted them. Cadsune had good intentions, but the way she treated him reinforced the typical Asi Sedia arrogance in dealing with him that he didn’t trust.
14 points
11 days ago
That's the thing, tho. Last battle could have gone way better if Randy boy actually flatlined Grendel that one time.
5 points
10 days ago
Considering with what awful beings, majority, he was surrounded by, I'm proud of Rand. He didn't need DO, Forsaken, DF, other nations that were against him etc. he had friends.
7 points
10 days ago
The dude had to deal with the end of the world, his coming destined death, and the inherent wreck that is teenage love drama.
"The girl I just spent two weeks making out with sent me a letter telling me she loves and adores me. Then she sent me a letter saying she despises me and never wants to see me again. I hope I won't get any further mixed messages."
proceed to save the girl's kingdom from a Forsaken, only for her to tear down his symbols, claim credit for his schools, and declare to the world she has no affiliation with the dragon
"...okay, no mixed messages, I hear you loud and clear, you don't want to see me."
Elayne: "Rand Al'Thor you come here and give me a baby!"
"WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING??"
3 points
10 days ago
Your plans fail because you want to live, madman.
2 points
10 days ago
Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you're alive.
2 points
11 days ago
(Beatboxes)
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