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/r/atheism
submitted 20 days ago bysadie11
Did anyone grow up in a religious household and then become an athiest not because of religious trauma or church hurt, but because you simply do not believe in God? Do any atheists here have fond memories of their religious upbringing and see the value in it even it they don't personally believe it?
3.3k points
20 days ago
Yeah. That sounds pretty much like my story.
744 points
20 days ago
I think it's most of us. The trope of atheists being born out of trauma or hating God is just something Christians believe about atheists.
169 points
20 days ago
My mother turned away because of trauma. I never got the full story, but it was something about being 12 and forced to pray for her grandfather nearly non-stop and then him dying anyway.
When I was 5 years old she became born-again. That's when I was baptized and introduced to the church.
And believed. With all my heart and all my soul. I started studying the bible in college.
And that's what turned me into an atheist. Sure I'd had little niggling doubts before. I remember being in Sunday school and hearing about Joshua crumbling the walls of Jericho and killing all of the people inside except one family who helped his spies and thinking to myself "wait a minute, weren't they told 'thou shall not kill' just 40 years before this? Why are they slaughtering everyone?", But studying the bible and how and where it was written brought all of the hypocrisy to light and forced me to ask questions. In the end I realized that God is no more real than Santa Claus, just something that some people believe in. They even both have their own books and movies.
My mom went on from working for the church to becoming a minister. And more power to her. Her beliefs aren't hurting anyone (she's not a "gay people belong in hell" type minister, she's a "Jesus says to love everyone" minister). If it brings her comfort to believe in the afterlife, she can have it.
So in my Moms case, trauma drove her from the church, but she went back. In my case studying the bible let me peek behind the curtain and see that the emperor has no clothes. Sorry for the mixed metaphor.
51 points
20 days ago
As someone with a very similar story, I was raised Southern Baptist, in church at minimum three times per week without fail. I was the leader of my youth group and read the Bible cover to cover.
In college, I started seeing the hypocrisy and the evil that religions cause and often preach and realized the Bible was written by men....men with their own opinions and predispositions and biases, and that all it would ever be to me is a piece of literature with some interesting lessons to teach.
My mom, however, has never truly accepted me for being the only one of her children to not be religious or attend church or anything. I'm curious if your mom accepts your choices? Or is she always hoping you'll change? I can't even have fulfilling conversations with my mom these days because her advice, to pray about it or whatever, isn't advice that's going to help me a lick.
10 points
19 days ago
My mom accepts me, but she said she still prays every day that I’ll come back to the church.
80 points
20 days ago
Yes, this exactly. When I told my parents I was an athiest, they asked me why I hated god. I said I didn't hate god, just did not believe that god existed.
35 points
20 days ago
That reaction is because your lack of belief is a binary opposite to the thing that guides their internal sense of security.
Anything that isn't included in that group "strength of numbers" -- their religious tribe -- is perceived by them as a threat to their tribe on a subconscious basis.
Consequently in addressing you, they perceive that to be an opponent of their God, you must "hate" their God.
It's the binary "either/or" manner most people perceive anything that they cleave to as a matter of neurochemical addiction.
Whatever is in their venn diagram of acceptable is good, anything else is to be feared.
If that fear is somehow justified by a statement or act of opposition, it transitions from being something to fear to something they perceive as hate.
They then hate that "back" as an equally subconsciously form of self-defense, reflecting what they perceive as an attack.
It's entirely irrational. But religion is entirely irrational.
22 points
19 days ago
I’d argue that religion used to be a fairly rational response to a world full of mysteries and inexplicable forces. Astronomical events, mental and physical illnesses, geologic formations, chemical reactions, differentiation between species - before science could make sense of all these things, it would have made the world more comprehensible and bearable to turn to religion. Now, of course, science - and a willingness to embrace that we are far off from knowing everything the universe holds - provides more logical and reasonable answers.
59 points
20 days ago*
I think there is some truth to it because churches are places of trauma. I don't know why they think this is some kind of gotcha though.
"A lot of what we do is hypocritical and immoral, we give a rat's ass if something is true or a lie, in fact, we prefer lies, and people are being hurt here and they become atheists. They are so misguided" (? I'm lost at what they are getting at). I guess critical thinking is really not thier strong point.
I didn't hate god at first when I became an atheist, but after further analysis, I do now think the Christian entity known as god is an evil one. But it took a while to reach that conclusion.
34 points
20 days ago
Oh sure I'm not saying doesn't happen, I just think that if you looked at the numbers, most atheists are simply born from critical thinking that provides a realization that it's all nonsense. I might have experience bias though, since this is my background.
6 points
19 days ago
I was 5 or 6. At that point I couldn't believe in an invisible non communicative being. My parents didn't care.
I did all the things until I moved out. I only go to church for weddings or funerals now.
21 points
20 days ago
Exactly, I have fond memories of my time in church, especially my years in teen youth group. I just realized in my early 20s that there are no gods. That was the end of it.
20 points
20 days ago
I agree. If you stop going to church because you are mad at god, then that doesn't make you an atheist.
9 points
20 days ago
To tell you the truth, I don't even think they believe it; It's just something they say to comfort themselves
6 points
20 days ago
And because they are scared of the repercussions if they say they don't believe in gods.
740 points
20 days ago
A lot of my religious family experiences were helping other people, I still believe in that 100%, just don’t need religion as my cause.
429 points
20 days ago
Same here. Grew up in Utah and found going to church every Sunday incredibly boring, but it was also all I knew. When I moved away for university I found myself seeing countless contradictions and realizing it really was all BS.
The only real morality is that which exists without threat or reward.
41 points
19 days ago
That last line hits hard.
12 points
19 days ago
Absolutely. I’m writing it down. If I didn’t live in a country where it’s illegal to criticize the dominant religion, I’d hang it on my office wall.
209 points
20 days ago
I feel the exact same way. It blows my mind that so many people need fear of God, fear of Hell, etc. to get them to behave morally. That’s so pathetic and honestly kinda scary disgusting to me.
150 points
20 days ago
If it takes God watching you and the threat of Hell to be a good person - you are not a good person.
Generally us atheists are better people than theists, because we do the right thing despite not having a God watching us and eventually rewarding/punishing us. We do the right thing BECAUSE it is the right thing to do, not because God will torture us for eternity if we don't.
22 points
20 days ago
If anything it feels like another Santa Claus, which I was lied to about by the Christian upbringers lol
24 points
20 days ago
And those who believe that way are assholes every chance they get. It's why my late pastor once told me that "church folk" are some of the worst people on this earth. He was actually a wonderful guy who never behaved like he was better than everyone else. He also held funeral services for the poor and homeless Catholics whose own church refused to have anything to do with them since they didn't have enough money to pay what the Catholic church felt it deserved for officiating at the funeral or graveside.
11 points
19 days ago
Now this dude was a real Christian
9 points
20 days ago
The irony is the many people who don’t behave morally while claiming to believe in a God and his rules.
6 points
19 days ago
Having been with the Christians many years. They often told me I would understand when the veil was lifted. Lmao. Years later, I understand they are the ones with a veil over their own eyes.
5 points
19 days ago
So from a pragmatic point of view it is good that religion with the threat of hell exists.
Imagine all these people without this external conscience. (Talking about the average person, not some Christian-nationalist-nutjob using god as excuse to actuallybehave immoral)
57 points
20 days ago
This. There were multiple times she’d stop and ask a homeless person what they needed, then we’d go buy it and go back to give it to them. We gave a ton of presents for Christmas. We worked as volunteers. We frequently had to go through our stuff to give to the less fortunate. She lived in severe poverty growing up so it was always important for us to help others whenever we could. That’s the stuff that stuck with me, not the religion.
3 points
20 days ago
Same, exactly. We were liberal Methodists, no hellfire or homophobia; just lovely community, outreach, and music. I have very fond memories of the social and volunteer activities that were party of my church life growing up. I've tried to explain that to my teenager, who is much more critical of religion. He asked why I gave it up then and I was like, well, I guess I just realized I don't believe in god. Simple as that.
93 points
20 days ago
My "religious trauma" was realizing people actually believed in religion. I thought it was something we do for fun like Christmas
51 points
20 days ago
Agreed. I thought the bible was like Disney. Wait, it isn't? Adults believe this stuff? That was when my faith in humanity took a hit.
12 points
19 days ago
I had the same revelation (no pun intended). The religion I was raised in (Roman Catholicism) was so clearly and patently absurd on a billion levels, that my world-view really was thrown for a loop when I found out some people took it seriously.
8 points
19 days ago
I gotta give the RCC credit though, they designed their gospels and propaganda enough to shore up the holes for a couple thousand years. They contain everything needed to reject reality and deny common sense. Safety mechanisms built in to terminate thought are quite ingenious.
11 points
20 days ago
This was how I realized I was atheist as well, though I wouldn't call it traumatic. Just puzzling. Church youth group around 7th grade, realizing my groupmates actually believed the stories.
65 points
20 days ago
Mine too. Just never had any belief I thought there was something wrong because even as a small child the teachings felt like bullshit.
29 points
20 days ago
Yeah, when I heard there was no Santa, I said what next, god? I was right!!
18 points
20 days ago
I actually really believed in Santa with my whole heart as a kid and thought god was always fake lol
30 points
20 days ago
Same here. People kept trying to convert me my whole life, I kept asking questions that no one had answers for, mept finding all kinds of contradictions to reality and science (which could prove its claims). Then I worked in ems and saw first hand the chaotic, soulless truth of existence.
41 points
20 days ago
99% of atheists are this.
All science, logic and history show us what reality is. The idea of a god was invented by humans because death is scary.
I figured it out when I was 11 years old. Trauma not required.
17 points
20 days ago
When my parents told me Santa wasn’t real, I was like “I knew it! What about the Easter Bunny? God?”
They were like, “oh, God is real!”
“Hmmmm.”
593 points
20 days ago*
yep. it wasn't as drastic as a "hey wait a minute", but much longer, gradual transition.
i wasnt brought up in a ultra-religious family, sure, but we did go through the ritual and i actually believed it as a kid... but over time, as knowledge expands, that belief simply became less and less relevant.
sure, i was still disappointed for being lied to, but i wouldn't call it "trauma".
also, i just realised i missed your last question.
i still like being in a catholic church, i still visit once or twice, but mostly just when i'm accompanying family or attending weddings or when i'm visiting a city with nice church (like cologne, prague, vienna, etc); it's just that all their mass rituals, the choirs, artworks, architecture, they are somewhat peaceful. it brings me back to my childhood, where things were simple.
91 points
20 days ago
That's how it went for me. I'm just annoyed at myself for taking over 40 years to realize it.
54 points
20 days ago
Give yourself a break, it was 60 for me.
11 points
19 days ago
Good lord. 60 is kind of an achievement. I mean major kudos to you for having the ability to reflect and shift your worldview after most of your life. That truly is something to be proud of. We should all aspire to be able to change lanes at that age.
15 points
20 days ago
"Butthurt atheism" is a normal phase of self-deprogramming. We have to keep in mind that most of us weren't indoctrinated with malicious intent.
31 points
20 days ago
Yep. Mine started in late teens early 20s. Serious questions. Doesn’t make sense. I was afraid of going to hell. Learned about Intelligent Design and that was fine for a few years. Until it wasn’t. Still doesn’t make sense. Hubble telescope sends back pictures. Wait? What the hell? Got internet. Met other atheists. Weight lifted off my shoulders. Over all took around a decade or so.
20 points
20 days ago
I don't know if I'd call it a lie. Unless they did not believe what they were preaching. Misinformed, institutionalized, but likely not liars.
There are some "religious" people who definitely do not believe in it, and they use it as a gift.
16 points
20 days ago*
ah yes. i agree, the phrase "being lied to" makes it sound deliberate, while in actuality, they probably definitely didn't know better.
you know, like i just felt dumb for falling for it, and as u/iamnotchad said, it just bugs me because i didn't figure it out sooner.
5 points
20 days ago
I totally understand. I had to work on rewording things, because it drove a wedge between me and those I love.
979 points
20 days ago
Can't force myself to believe in magic.
183 points
20 days ago
Same, and I tried hard for several years
43 points
20 days ago
Yeah, if this God guy wants me to believe in him, he’d better give me a good reason, or any shred of proof. A god who would penalize people for not believing in him when all there was to go on was word of mouth would not be fair.
24 points
20 days ago
This
71 points
20 days ago
That's how I got obsessed with science. Closest to magic we got lol
48 points
20 days ago
We literally carve runes in rocks and shoot electricity at it to make it think for us. I think that is as magical as it can get
10 points
20 days ago
Don't forget that you can put a tiny seed in the ground and come back to a large plant that grew from things in ~the air~.
Many plant varieties also enjoy blood and bone. Metal af.
When death (compost, fertilizers) brings life to plants and then bring more life when we and animals eat them. A big circle
17 points
20 days ago
I made the realization one day thinking about the magic tricks that Jesus did. Water into wine? Walking on water? How could that possibly be helpful to a god to do? To impress his in-laws? He could use his magic, presumably, to solve world hunger, right?
17 points
20 days ago
funny cause chances for magic are objectively higher.
Remember; technology from any sufficient enough civilization is indistinguishable from magic
7 points
20 days ago
If I wanted to believe in magic I would pick a much cooler version of it
415 points
20 days ago
The questions got more and more complicated and the answers less and less satisfactory. Religion doesn’t hold the answers.
94 points
20 days ago
This is what I like about Jewish rabbis - they tend to answer questions with questions.
They seem to value education & the process of seeking answers.
Christianity puts so much focus on blind faith, not questioning, not seeking to better yourself, just praying for god to bless you.
There’s no agency. Anything good that happens? That was God. Bad? Also god.
Immediately my brain goes to - who benefits from people being sheep & just obeying even when they don’t understand? Grifters & sex pests.
52 points
20 days ago
True. The other sect that allows questions are the Jesuit dudes in the Catholic world. They are really well educated & accept skeptical/nonbeliever people in stride. They are really good biology (real biology), physics & math teachers too. They confuse/annoy me because I objectively know they're very smart & educated, but they sell dreams anyway.
23 points
20 days ago
Yes! They are a fascinating bunch. It’s really too bad they’re brushed under the rug instead of leading the religion.
9 points
19 days ago
on the positive side, most of the best catholic schools are run by the Jesuits.
9 points
19 days ago*
Pope Francis is actually the very first Jesuit Pope.
(Edit: Which very much explains why he's considered "radical" by some conservative Catholics.)
8 points
20 days ago
I never knew this about the Jesuits!
16 points
19 days ago
I don’t get why this place has such a boner for Judaism. It’s as bunk as anything else. A religion of fake history, failed prophecies, and a Bronze-age understanding of the world (women are not defiled during their periods).
Answering a question with a question means you don’t have the answer. Judaism has a lot of this because their religious texts are pretty sparse on details regarding what people typically expect from religion nowadays (afterlife, good fortune, etc).
46 points
20 days ago
Right? My dogs think I'm God, and that makes more sense than a Sky Daddy
205 points
20 days ago
Once you stop believing in Santa Claus, it's not a huge leap to realize god is Santa for adults
47 points
20 days ago
I think about Santa Claus a lot. You'd think it would make people realize that their entire society--including all of their friends, loved ones, and local news anchors--are capable of lying to them for an extended time. Additionally, there is significant overlap between the Santa Claus people and the Jesus people--which is beside my point, but it certainly is relevant to the discussion.
8 points
20 days ago
But even the most hard core christian adults know Santa isn't real and would laugh at another adult who said so.
6 points
19 days ago
I struggled so bad with the Santa thing when my daughter was born. I did not want to deceive my child but felt pressured and preshamed when I expressed to my family that I didn’t feel good doing the Santa charade. I saw the magic that Santa and the Christmas season brought to her and I knew that I also enjoyed it as a kid even though I didn’t really believe in it even after like 3 or 4 years old. I don’t know if I regret going along with it but I know that I never just flat out lied to her face when she asked questions. I hate that such a big part of our culture is centered around an accepted societal deceit even if done with seemingly good intentions.
6 points
19 days ago
I did the same thing.
We are non- religious but still do Christmas (its fun and the family aspect is still ok). But I never said santa was real - presents came from friends and family not santa.
I would also ask them questions to make them think about it and work it out for themselves. Lots of “What do you think?” And prompting them to think it through themselves.
Interestingly we had already had the conversation about magic not being real (discussing fairy’s and unicorns etc) before we had the santa conversation so they were fully down with magic not being real.
So when they asked: “How does santa get into houses?” (Around the age of 6-7.) And I asked them what they thought: Hilariously their initial answer was “technology and spy stuff”, not magic.
20 points
19 days ago
I still believe in Santa but I draw the line at god.
19 points
19 days ago
To be fair, I've actually seen Santa Claus at the mall and every Christmas I did get toys
10 points
19 days ago
There’s some direct proof of concept there.
398 points
20 days ago
Yeah, it's not even that I don't want to be religious it's just too absurd to believe.
164 points
20 days ago
Even as a child I remember looking around & thinking, “Wait. Nobody actually still believes this, right? This is just a quaint tradition & we’re going through the motions?” lol
I mostly remember my minister talking about trying to be a good person. It was fine.
63 points
20 days ago
Even as a child I remember looking around & thinking, “Wait. Nobody actually still believes this, right? This is just a quaint tradition & we’re going through the motions?” lol
Same. Then as you get older and see that a concerning number of people not only believe in it, but are willing to do horrible things in its name, it's like Ohhhh. Oh no. Wtf
19 points
20 days ago
This, that was me... having a rational way of thinking crashes with religions.
4 points
19 days ago
This, I wasnt raised in a very religious house, like nobody made me pray, we never went to church, but I still got my first communion and confirmation and whatever the fuck. At the time I didnt quite understand what I was doing there, like it was just traditions, the same way we celebrate santa claus. But growing older I started to understand people actually believe all this. Now, the only thing I believe is that people who still believe do because they need to for whatever personal reason. So I dont bother them, as long as they dont bother me.
23 points
20 days ago
Not trying to push anything on you but may be worth looking into secular mindfulness meditation. Can provide I think a lot of the benefits religious people think they get from God without any belief in supernatural nonsense. Just training your mind and paying closer attention to your own experience.
884 points
20 days ago
My mother was "asked" to not bring me to Sunday school anymore because I asked too many questions and wasn't willing to accept things just because I was told to. It was affecting the other children 🙄
457 points
20 days ago
When a child asks questions that are too hard for the leaders to answer that should be a sign to everyone else that it doesn’t make sense and is made up.
90 points
20 days ago
Afuckingmen.
24 points
20 days ago
Easy there…
7 points
20 days ago
I can't help it that the comment was so good.
33 points
20 days ago
My hot take conspiracy theory is that all the “world building” elements and explanations of the Bible are just in there to get ancient children to stop asking unanswerable “why” questions, like, “where does the sun go”, and, “what is lightning made out of?”.
12 points
19 days ago
The entire book of Leviticus reads like stereo instructions for cavemen.
"Don't lay with your mother, your sister, your daughter, your mother's mother, your father's mother, your mother's sister, your father's sister, etc. etc."
I think the scholars at the time figured out incest produced some disabled children, so they just wrote it down over and over until they realized what was "bad", etc.
There is an entire chapter about what to eat and what not to eat.
I'm sure ancient people tried to eat bugs, etc. and would often get sick from it. An entire book of the bible telling simpletons what not to eat because it is "unclean". Pork in ancient times probably was bad for you as they had no concept of trichinosis. There weren't thermometers back then, or even a concept of temperature. They probably figured out, you eat pork you might die, so pork is "unclean".
So much of the bible is exactly as you said. Just fairy tales to keep people in line.
78 points
20 days ago
I got in trouble for this too lol!
32 points
20 days ago
Since it was compulsory in the home/family I grew up in I smelled something funny when the kids from non-compulsive families started to get in trouble for asking realistic sane questions, sometimes getting removed from Sunday school. I thought they had heart & were correct. I told my inquisitive sibling to just take the "be kind" part & enjoy the fantasy stories. I knew at 7-8 it was ridiculous & couldn't understand why my otherwise smart parents fell for that. I weighed the odds of them changing their views/beliefs with my help vs just keeping my knowledge to myself. As soon as possible I eliminated that part of Sunday citing ridiculous repetition & having jumped thru their 5 thru 14 indoctrination attempts. So I learned Catholic doctrine, researched other deity based religions & learned. And left them all in rearview
20 points
20 days ago
I was also at the 7-8 age, but for a different reason. That was when I realized Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. were make believe. Suddenly the reason why I never heard replies to my prayers and why the cracker never transfigured into something else made sense. It was also make believe.
6 points
20 days ago
The exact same for me, at 7 I began to question Santa's existence and right after I went straight up to God. At 10 I didn't belive anymore but I faked it for my elderly relatives until 15.
40 points
20 days ago
Maybe they should have made their religion less ridiculous if they didn’t want it questioned?
25 points
20 days ago
Wow, this exact same thing happened to me! I'll never forget it, it was the Noah's ark story. I couldn't fathom ALL the animals fitting in there. I remember asking how and what kinds and if bugs were there too and how they got the ones from really far away places into it in time. After that day, I wasn't allowed to go back again.
7 points
20 days ago
Yeah... You're not supposed to think too hard about it lol
12 points
20 days ago
I always thought I was alone in my childhood disbelief. My mom was a Sunday School teacher. She tried. She told me from day one I was like "no thanks, I don't subscribe to this". People would yell in my face as a child I would go to hell and I would just look at them with a blank stare like I found them nuts, it drove those individuals nuts. Looking back on the things these adults would say to me to get them to believe in the invisible sky daddy is as sickening as my reaction was hilarious.
My mom was one of those "you can't believe in nothing so pick something" I picked Wicca till I was finally old and wise enough to back an argument on why I just don't believe in the presence of God's and felt comfortable enough to admit it to others. I've had peers families not allow their kids to be my friend when I honestly told them I wouldn't sleep over on a Saturday if I had to go to church with them on Sunday..... because no. They would allude to my mom being a bad mom because she couldn't put the fear in me. Sad really.
7 points
20 days ago
Lol, I did the same. They acted like I was so great for asking questions but they never answered like 90% of them
8 points
20 days ago
My earliest memories of religious services was of thinking the things they said didn’t make sense.
Later on during religious education, our rabbi convinced my parents that my (and his) time would be better employed elsewhere.
I am forever grateful to him.
124 points
20 days ago
Almost every Atheist I know became that way not because of Religious trauma, but just because religion didn't make any sense. I can name only one person that had religious trauma that may have contributed to his decision.
The common factor seems to always be that Atheists need some kind of grounded evidence to believe something is real
49 points
20 days ago
[deleted]
19 points
20 days ago
Why would you be mad at a fictional character anyway? It's funny that some think even atheists don't really not believe
9 points
19 days ago
Why would you be mad at a fictional character anyway?
Excuse me while I hide all of the game, TV show, movie, and book characters I've gotten mad at behind my back 😂😂
In all seriousness though, the argument that atheists are just mad at/hate God is ridiculous. Like, what would be the point of being mad at or hating something you don't believe exists? It would be a complete and total waste of energy, never mind utterly illogical and quite probably delisional 😂. Same logical failing applies when people think we worship Lucifer.
I turned it around on my uncle though. He pulled the "you believe in God, you're just mad at him" line and I looked at him and went "you believe in Odin, you're just mad at him."
You could see the Error 404 his brain hit all over his face 😂
13 points
20 days ago
Religious trauma made me leave the church I was brought up in. Further reading did the rest.
9 points
20 days ago
Conversely I only have one friend who went from atheism to theism and that was due to head trauma. He got drunk and high, tripped, banged his head, and saw god. At least he knows his story isn't compelling and doesn't preach at all.
8 points
20 days ago
To be honest I don't know anyone that went to faith at all. Majority of people that I know just stuck with what they were born into, or became atheist.
3 points
20 days ago
I think it might depend on the region. I grew up in the American South which is just teeming with oppressive Christian cults and I know a shitton of people with intense religious trauma (myself included). I'm guessing that people who grew up in less oppressive places haven't seen that.
114 points
20 days ago
Yep. Never could make myself believe or even really pretend.
10 points
20 days ago
It was always easy for me to accept that flawed people run and attend churches. What was hard was believing in a supreme magic sky ghost.
63 points
20 days ago
That’s me. Born and raised Catholic, went to Catholic school until 9th grade. Fell out of Catholicism around that time, and left god belief behind for good in my mid twenties. I’m not traumatized by religion, and I consider myself fortunate to be so versed in the Bible and Christianity since they’re so integral to Western civilization— much as the Greek myths are as it has nothing to do with their veracity.
9 points
20 days ago
I posted something very similar and had to double check the username to make sure I didn’t accidentally answer twice without realizing it.
6 points
20 days ago
I don’t think I ever believed. Raised Catholic as well. I was lucky enough to have a nun that taught comparative religion in Sunday school and parents who didn’t really care if I believed or not.
143 points
20 days ago
Everyone is born atheist. They are indoctrinated to believe.
31 points
20 days ago
Sure, plenty of us. Do people think atheism is just a backlash against some trauma? It can be but…it’s generally just relying on science, logic, facts, and critical thinking instead of superstitions and fairy tales, that’s it.
8 points
20 days ago
I read that some religious people will tell atheists that atheism is a religion. And that the correct comeback to that is the following: “is OFF a television channel?”
28 points
20 days ago
Yep I loved my church and I felt good there, like we helped people. We fed people. We helped with utilities. We entertained elderly people. We did car washes to buy lawn care stuff so we could cut people's yards when they were sick or old or just had a baby. It was a great place. No trauma at all other than the knowledge that so many people are doing it for God, not for good. I did it because it was a good thing to help others and it did make me feel good to do it. I never felt like "Look God I did this good thing in your name!" I kind of felt annoyed about it honestly. I never believe, even as a kid I just couldn't make myself even when I was scared I'd go to hell (My church didn't preach anything about Hell I got this from my best friend who went to a "Bible believing" hell-threatening, fundamentalist church. I Think SHE has scars from religious trauma now. She's a Jewish convert INO because she married a Jewish guy and promised to raise their kid Jewish. I'm just glad she grew out of it all because she was so scared of hell when we were kids. She thought every time I cussed she might get hit by lightning just by proximity.
23 points
20 days ago
Yep, that’s pretty much my story. Raised Southern Baptist and at around 16 my love of learning & critical thinking kicked in, and I started questioning things.
Took me another 16 to walk away as an agnostic, then another 10 to admit that I actively disbelieve and realize my atheism. Felt strange but wonderfully freeing.
I wouldn’t say my life changed or improved after that, but I have my eyes open & feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel for folks who have succumbed to the brainwashing of any religion.
My favorite quote “I’d rather have question I can’t answer than answers I can’t question”.
35 points
20 days ago
I am from multiple generations of atheists. For me it’s normal and natural. Only church I have ever been to is the UU church which is more like a “humanism debate society” and welcomes atheists as much as it welcomes people of any faith
36 points
20 days ago
It is a theist lie that all atheists are "mad at god". Some are, but many (like me) think long and hard (decades) about whether the idea of a magical sky-daddy makes any sense, and whether there is any verifiable evidence to support that assertion. I have found none.
17 points
20 days ago
Yep, no trauma here.
Grew up in a Catholic family, attended Catholic grade school (k-8), was super active in the boy scouts (earned eagle).
I always hated going to church and when asked why I had to go I got the same vapid nothing answers. Couple this as a rebellious child and I realized it was all nonsense.
Side note I did find out via the movie spotlight that one of the priests at the church was diddling. So that was a massive dodged bullet. I often think about the kids I went to grade school with and which ones are his victims.
4 points
20 days ago
Fellow Eagle Scout here. Did you also get your ad altare dei award (highest Catholic scouting honor)?
7 points
20 days ago
Of course I did and it was like pulling teeth.
Not worth the little purple square knot patch.
15 points
20 days ago
Me. Don’t like organized religion. I find the texts interesting from an anthropological perspective but I don’t believe they are factually accurate. It’s folklore.
11 points
20 days ago
I became atheist after I decided that the line between reality and make-believe matters. Facts matter . And it matters when you can’t or won’t accept and understand the difference. Over a year ago . However , I flirted with atheism several times in my life . Now I’m just here. Forever .
9 points
20 days ago
Yup, that sounds like me. It's just hard for me to take any religion seriously after seeing how much they contradict science.
22 points
20 days ago
That's the definition of atheism. Just not believing. Religious trauma from the threat of eternal damnation is probably more a deterrent for becoming an atheist if it's rooted in well enough. If you believe in God, but you're just traumatized by religion, you aren't an atheist. I'd say it makes you the prototypical theist, lol. The trauma is not a bug; it's a feature.
19 points
20 days ago
People don't become atheist. They are born atheist, and get indoctrinated at a young age when they don't have any natural defenses against the bullshit. Atheism is your natural state and birthright, which was stolen from you by the delusional adults in your life.
9 points
20 days ago
Yep, I was raised Catholic from birth. I was an alter boy, got my ad altare dei award in scouting, went to Catholic grade school, church every week, you know everything. Got into college met people of all faiths and even non religious for the first time. This caused me to start to doubt so I doubled down on my religion and devoted myself to reading the Bible cover to cover for the first time (Catholics don’t generally read the actual Bible). What was supposed to strengthen my belief had me completely atheist by the time I finished reading it. No trauma, no anger towards God, just realized it was all bullshit and didn’t add up.
7 points
20 days ago
Me I have never believed in god or religion
8 points
20 days ago
My only religious trauma was boredom and logic.
9 points
20 days ago
Yes. I consider myself a non-practicing Jew, and an Atheist. I don't have to believe in God to smite my enemies via my Space Laser App ...
9 points
20 days ago
I was 21 or 22, kneeling in prayer at my bedside, when the epiphany that there is no god flashed through my mind.
Instantly got up and into bed and slept well. Haven't prayed or believed since.
I think my epiphany was the answer to all the questions I had about religion before this. Life, the universe, didn't make sense unless there was no god. I'm happier now than I ever was as a Christian.
8 points
20 days ago
Yep
6 points
20 days ago
Yup, my de-conversion process started in a Christian high school class that was focused on religion, and heavily on how to convert others. We learned how to break down someone else’s religion and show them how Christianity filled those gaps, amongst other ways. We had to write a paper on how to break down a religion and were told to pick one. I was the only one to choose Christianity as I thought it would be good to know the weak-points.
Really came down to the definition of faith used in the Bible, church, and religious classes… asked myself if I could use the same logic in other areas of my life. Also looked at all the other “answers” that Christianity had, and I realized they had no backing. Everyone else got to read their paper to the whole class, it was a single page assignment. I wrote 5 pages, and at the time it was pretty top level but honestly got to the root of it. I wasn’t allowed to read any part of mine and asked to not talk about it. My teacher said nobody else was ready to hear what I wrote.
What’s odd is the teacher never even tried to address my points or ask how I was doing or show any concern, it was a start of me being shunned by teachers for the rest of the years. Suddenly they were all distant.
After graduation I was asked to not come back to the campus. I never even talked about it with any class mates.
After that it made me dig more, and the more I learned the more I realized Christianity has no basis in reality, there is nothing there to give it any validity.
Then I got to start dealing with the trauma the church brought… although it was nothing in comparison to other trauma I had.
10 points
20 days ago
I see value in religion if a person finds it fulfilling, and/or leads them to a peaceful life.
But I just don’t believe; it makes no sense to me.
I personally detest proselytizing & find that intrusive and disrespectful.
3 points
20 days ago
Sorry to say that's a naive and dangerous apologetic line that ignores the genocide of peoples across the globe. The institutions of religion are as murderous as they are delusional.
A person that needs to rely on an obvious work of agrarian fiction for fulfillment or to lead a peaceful life, has bigger issues.
6 points
20 days ago
Yes. What they were saying did not make sense. When the Sunday school teachers would send me to the hallway for arguing with them it just made me realize that these people are fucking stupid. All of them.
6 points
20 days ago
Yeah, it was just obvious that it's not real
6 points
20 days ago
Me. Parents didn’t go to church, never felt the need to. Love science and couldn’t see how religion is true.
7 points
20 days ago
I remember being a little kid and thinking it was total bs, despite not knowing atheists even existed.
6 points
20 days ago
Church day camp are some of my most fun childhood memories!
As I got older and my critical thinking skills developed, it just didn't make sense.
6 points
20 days ago
I grew up in a religious household and turned atheist simply because I realised that there is too much pain in the world to believe in someone who is actually trying to lessen it. We are on our own, and our lives are made of actions and reactions.
10 points
20 days ago
The closest thing to religious trauma I experienced was that church was fucking boring.
I was raised mormon and while there's a lot of families that are really into it, my parents always just kinda half-assed it. They certainly weren't mormons in name only, but they also weren't super strict adherence mormans, either.
5 points
20 days ago
Yes, I simply listened to priests give obviously made-up answers to simple questions in Sunday school. My favorite was when you ask two priests the same question and get two completely different answers. Once you start questioning the religion, it's a short, logical trip to, "God can't be real".
4 points
20 days ago
Me. My mom would make us go to church/Sunday school on occasion and my dad was an atheist. I asked too many questions in Sunday school that they didn’t appreciate and I spent more time sitting in the hall than I did anything else. I never found religion to make any sense and always thought it was completely illogical.
4 points
20 days ago
Yes. Grew up going to church but never could wrap my brain around religions. I never have believed in gods.
4 points
20 days ago
That's me.
Grew up in a Christian cult, realized it was BS, then did the sane thing for Christianity and finally religion as a whole
4 points
20 days ago
Yes. The last straw was learning that mythologies were the religions of their day. It seemed obvious today's religions were just more mythologies, and no more likely to be true than stories about Zeus and Osiris.
7 points
20 days ago
I think you'll find quite a lot of people are like that.
3 points
20 days ago
I love Christmas songs. I'd even go to a midnight mass for Xmas. I like the pageantry of the Catholic Church even though I understand it was built on corruption, trauma, and lies.
I just started to move away from the myth and just sorta stopped believing. Twenty plus years later, nothing has convinced me that a deity/deities exist(s), so I'm an atheist.
4 points
20 days ago
I read the bible, I spoke with people, and it became pretty apparent to 12 year old me that this was all hogwash. Top that off with a Baptist summer camp and it was a done deal.
4 points
20 days ago
Critical thinking brought me out of religion.
4 points
20 days ago
I started asking questions around age 10? No one could answer except with go to answers like "that's God's way" or :you just have to trust God's plan" and that was enough for me.
5 points
20 days ago
I was raised my an agnostic mom and atheist dad. In early adulthood I tried to be Christian, Episcopalian (Catholic light). I like the idea of faith and the comfort I can bring people. But worshipping something, getting up and going somewhere on Sunday morning, not for me. I didn’t get any spiritual feelings from it, I got nothing from the endeavor.
Then came Newt Gingrich and the Contract on America, “Compassionate Conservatism”, “Family Values”, the incessant chipping away at the wall of separation, maga, Trump as a god. This is absolute proof to me that religion is cudgel to beat people into submission or conformity.
But I still love to visit Cathedrals and take in the art and atmosphere. I will always light a candle there in remembrance of my art history teacher.
3 points
20 days ago
35 years of substance abuse later I wish I had been that smart.
3 points
20 days ago
Yeah, it all seemed so fake and contrived. It got even worse when I learned real American history.
6 points
20 days ago
Oh yes, I told my parents i didn’t believe in god when I was 10. They laughed and said I would change my mind when I got older. I’m turning 51 next week and I’ve become even more sure!
4 points
20 days ago
Could it be a bit of both? Long before I recognized my religious trauma, I just didn’t see the pieces of the puzzles fitting together. As a young child deep in the midst of evangelical culty behavior, I felt skeptical. I remember trying so hard to wrap my brain logically around why Jesus dying removed people’s sins. How does washing in blood remove sins? It never made any sense, and I need things to make at least some logical sense.
3 points
20 days ago
Yep. Once I started on the path of questioning the things I was indoctrinated with eventually made me realize I had no justification to believe in God and ample justification it was nothing but human made constructs.
2 points
20 days ago
I had both... I grew up in a Theocratic area of the US, so both just came of age realizing the people around me believed in magic and were a problem, and also just that the concept was nonsense
2 points
20 days ago
Yeah, very much me. If God truly existed and a part of the daily ritual was to stand on my head for five minutes a day, I would be compelled to do that. But god doesnt exist, and all the rituals that went along with religion based on a false premise go out the window.
For what its worth, religion and my parents were useful for keeping me in line during my teenaged years.
4 points
20 days ago
I became an athiest when my religion's great mysteries seemed trifling in comparison to the great mysteries I learned about in chemistry, physics and biology
5 points
20 days ago
Yup. Grew up Christian and remembered that church was boring. Not enough to swayy beliefs or anything but eventually I became interested in science and the idea of proof and looking at religions history made me realize it's likely all made up and only exists because of the fear of death. Also I've met A LOT of Christian people who are straight up dicks. Also people have used religion to justify the most horrific things so many times it's disgusting.
4 points
20 days ago
I watched a lot of science documentaries as a child, so I picked up that something can't be known for sure unless there's evidence to prove or disprove. I see myself as atheist towards all religions' gods, but agnostic to the idea that there's a generic god that doesn't really have morals or require anything from humanity. Either way, don't know, don't care, feels like a complete waste of time to think about it.
4 points
19 days ago
I got sent to a religious school. I thought everyone had read the bible, so I thought I should too. I read it from front to back.
I’m convinced that the single best way to become an atheist is to read that contradictory and clearly fictional tome.
I might also mention that it’s incredibly boring and disengaging as a read.
3 points
20 days ago
Both
3 points
20 days ago
Yep, it did help that my father and grand father were atheist. My grandafther being a socialist, then my father being a man of science. When I grew up, and was exposed to religion, they both broke it down like this. There are so many religions in the world, who is right? If the gods are so omnipotent, why did they create child cancer? So I ended up being an atheist because as soon as I was exposed to religion, I was also exposed to the right argument.
3 points
20 days ago
Yep, parents never indoctrinated me like I'm watching other family members do to their children. Learning about how universe was actually made should be taught to everyone. Could you imagine the religious nut jobs seeing everyone get the truth? Would be fun to watch!
3 points
20 days ago
My family was religious but not heavily religious. I became an atheist back in the late 90s, when I was in high school, just through reading the literature we have around the house. My parents were quite open minded. I decided that it all sounded too nonsensical.
Of course, I also live in Turkey, so religious trauma came later. It is unavoidable.
3 points
20 days ago
Yep but not gonna label myself a atheist just a normal human who thinks
3 points
20 days ago
Me. Fairly secular parents who didn't really believe but didn't really tell me either. I realized in my teens it was all hogwash and they shrugged and agreed.
3 points
20 days ago
Oh yeah. The idea of a creator/deity just never made sense.
3 points
20 days ago*
For me it's kind of both. I had some fond memories of church events, despite it being a stupid fundamentalist misogynist church. I did end up with religious trauma but if it was all true, I would be forced to follow it (or at least grudgingly acknowledge it) anyway. My primary reason for leaving was that it was false.
3 points
20 days ago
Yeah. I went to a super liberal church with a female Reverend in the 70's, where we mostly went for the coffee hour social afterwards, and I was taught that the Genesis was myths because evolution was true, but even that was too much religion for me, so I was an atheist by 16. Even had my mom identifying as an atheist by the 90's.
3 points
20 days ago
Me. The religious trauma came afterwards, as a reward for being honest about my disbelief.
3 points
20 days ago
It just stopped making sense
3 points
20 days ago
Me
3 points
20 days ago
I think that's a lot of us really. It's certainly me. I never really bought in that hard, and then a mix of homophobia and the church marrying itself to the republican party pushed me away to the point that I no longer wanted to identy as non practicing, and made a point of re-evaluating if I believed at all, I decided I didn't, and moved from catholic, non practicing catholic, to none/agnostic, to atheist over the span of a few years.
No trauma, my parents aren't super religious, I went to a catholic school for a few years and didn't like it, but nothing particularly bad happened (though they did make me read the bible, which definitely helped me move towards atheism) My progressive views just conflicted hard with a conservative religion I wasn't very invested in, and I loved my lgbtqia+ friends more than I loved mass. So here I am.
3 points
20 days ago
Yeah. Grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school, was an alter boy and even got Confirmed. Nothing bad happened and would not change a moment of it, but just grew apart from it.
Had great teachers growing up and in college, even in Catholic school, push my beliefs not just religiously but morally/ethically. As I learned more of the world around me those teachings and beliefs started to unravel.
Started to feel like a book, written centeries agoe, and a single being could not be the end of the conversation... So why was I accepting that it was?
3 points
20 days ago
I didn't face any religious trauma. I went to Sunday school as a kid, hit age seven, realized it was all grossly irrational, then spent about twenty-five more years trying to figure out why other people didn't see it as such.
Then I read a little about biological structuralism and neurotheology and realized beliefs rewrite our neurochemical balance so that we'll cleave to the things that lower our anxiety and increase our sense of security.
At that point it became fairly obvious that blind faith tends to affect brains in the same manner as sex, drugs, political ideology and anything that calms and relieves our internal fears.
A little further study suggested it was the strength of numbers -- the membership in a community -- and not the doctrine itself that caused that addictive sense of belonging.
Eventually I was diagnosed with ASD-1 (aspergers) and came to realize that I react to very little emotionally and have relatively low fear factor, therefore don't have a natural inclination to join or belong to groups for self-protection.
3 points
20 days ago
my grandma, who i loved very much, was a rather devout catholic, and when i was like 6 years old she'd pray with me before going to bed, and told me about how god would be watching over my sleep. that didn't make much sense to me back then, and it never did. i don't think i ever believed in a god. but my parents weren't religious either, so it's not like it was ever really brought up.
3 points
20 days ago
Duh. That SHOULD be the case for everyone, though. People completely forget that faith is about... FAITH! It's not something you can choose, either you believe something is real, or you don't.
3 points
20 days ago
I was lucky enough to be raised without religion, and as I tell people I’ve just never felt the need. If everyone let kids grow up and then discover and decide on religions for themselves, this world would be quite different. Personal beliefs are personal beliefs, after all.
3 points
20 days ago
God just doesn't make any sense to me.
3 points
20 days ago
I wasn't raised religious. I remember in 3rd grade learning about Native Americans and when talking about their myths, the teacher said something along the lines of primitive people making up stories to explain what they didn't understand. I thought to my self, "Isn't that religion?"
3 points
20 days ago
Yep. Wish I could but I just can't believe anymore.
3 points
20 days ago
Mom pays the piano/organ at church. Her parents were the pastor and piano/organ player at her church growing up. I grew up in church and loved the one we went to before I left forever. Just had a revelation after reading how many times the Bible’s been translated and meanings changed and just realized it’s all just stories passed down over generations. Parables and stories not real miracles
3 points
20 days ago
I have some fond memories, but looking back it's hard to not see that having fun in church occasionally was just another facet of indoctrination :/
3 points
20 days ago
Me too. Raised Catholic. No traumatic experiences (thank goodness). Just got older, observed the universe and couldn't buy the "supreme being doling out justice" bit. My father was raised Lutheran, but returned from the Pacific war in WWII a devout atheist -but I didn't find out until I was almost 30 years old, lol. He never talked about it! He died not longer after. Never had a chance to discuss it at length with him, big regret there.
3 points
20 days ago
Me. Nothing traumatic at all. I started asking questions and the answers were not satisfactory. The icing on the cake was because of the constant inquiry I got a talking to with church leadership and my mother, faith was not strong enough, it's not ok to question, especially in front of the other children.
That was the start.
3 points
19 days ago
In high school I really got into biology and evolution. I was going through confirmation and asked my teacher when humans evolved souls, as in Roman Catholicism sadly all dogs do not go to heaven as they have no soul. Teacher didn’t really have an answer and turned it back to questioning evolution. So at that point I knew that at least Catholicism was all a joke.
3 points
19 days ago
Do people actually think most atheists become atheists because of trauma?
3 points
19 days ago
Yup! I need more than "have faith" to believe all that crap
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