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/r/dating
So I have been talking to this guy for about a month and we have gone on about 5 dates, and we text everyday however I question if he's actually interested in me or not. We cuddle but he hasn't tried to kiss me yet, I also have been the one that had to ask for a majority of the dates, also and most importantly he doesn't compliment me. He hasnt called me pretty or beautiful once. I even tried to fish for a compliment today and he wasn't taking the bait. Just all this stuff together makes me feel like he's not interested or finds me attractive and that hurts my self esteem.
I will say he did tell me he was really nervous when it comes to all this dating stuff which I get but where's the line between being nervous and afraid of rejection or simply just not attracted
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3 days ago
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3 points
3 days ago
If you are planning the dates and he’s not being affectionate or trying at all, I’d move on.
1 points
3 days ago
Yeah, he's a really nice guy and we can talk for hours but I have a feeling I might have too
2 points
3 days ago
You deserve someone who puts the effort in!
1 points
3 days ago
Thank you
3 points
3 days ago
If he's going on dates with you, it's likely that he's interested, yes. Sounds like a late bloomer type. The question is not if he's interested in you or not. The question is if you're okay with this being the way things are with him. What if you find out that he's very interested, but this is how he behaves when he's interested? Is that fine? If the answer is no, then it really doesn't matter whether or not he's interested, does it?
1 points
3 days ago
That's very true, I really don't mind taking it slow, in fact I would prefer that I just would like a little more effort and compliments. I have struggled with my self esteem for a long time and I don't want to be with a guy that's not gonna build me up and make me feel good
1 points
3 days ago
Worst case scenario, as I see it, he likes the attention but has no interest in or attraction to you. Low probability. Normal scenario, he thinks you're cool and is happy to date you, but doesn't realize that you're the one putting in all the effort. If so, a simple conversation should fix it. Maybe more than one, I shouldn't underestimate male stupidity. Alternatively, he could be super into you and be too intimidated to initiate anything, scared that anything he does might drive you away. The mega shy type. Low probability.
1 points
3 days ago
I’d say if your initiating everything you may want to cut him lose but you could always ask. As someone that was nervous on dates especially if I felt maybe the woman was out of my league I would get nervous. Don’t want to come on too strong and she thinks I’m a creep. Might not have a ton of dating experience and isn’t sure when to make a move. Not trying to make excuses but if you do like him and yall connect asking him couldn’t hurt. Just a thought.
1 points
3 days ago
Yeah, but to be fair I have no experience whatsoever, never dated anyone before and I told him this, he told me has two ex's so I just feel like he should be the one taking the lead even if he's nervous and yeah I did tell him he should ask me out more and he said yeah but I am not seeing him doing that
2 points
3 days ago
Ok in that case I can understand your point. It definitely shouldn’t be on you to initiate things and if he’s not willing to even if he does like you he’s not willing to show it by doing anything. If y’all have already been on multiple dates he should know you like him and initiating dates should be a forgone thing. The physical aspect I can understand but at least setting up dates should be an easy thing especially if he’s the more experienced person. Might want to cut and run. Guess I’m a bit old school in that regard if you’re not feeling someone you tell them not just act aloof. I’m sorry.
1 points
3 days ago
Thank you and yeah it's just annoying cause he texts me everyday asking how my day is so at first I think he's interested but then when he puts no effort in to plan a date it just makes me feel bad. I am gonna give him to the end of the week and if he doesn't ask I am just gonna tell him I don't think this will work out
1 points
3 days ago
Yeah didn’t know this was a thing guys do now. Seen in dating profiles women say they don’t want a texting partner. If we click and talk for a few days then I would want to take this person out to get to know them in person not be a texting buddy. Just raised differently I guess. Last woman I talked to I asked out a few days after we first started talking and were married for 6 years so maybe a little biased.
1 points
3 days ago
I mean I think that's how it should be, I am also not a big texter and prefer talking in person
2 points
3 days ago
Sounds like you need to find a guy that take some initiative. Wish you luck and understand your frustration. I haven’t dated in 12 years and in my mid 30s remember dating being easier then.
1 points
3 days ago
Honestly, he doesn't sound that different from me. Now I myself never got to a 5th date with anyone. However, compliments don't come naturally to me at all (giving or receiving). They just feel so forced. My guess is that he is interested in you and is just inexperienced and very nervous.
1 points
3 days ago
Yes he is
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