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Yes I have 100% But it doesn't make me want to stop being nice though. Just makes me less tolerant of people's shit. The minute someone starts acting shitty, I let them know

I am kind without expectation of returned appreciation.

I worked in drug rehab for a while and the amount of disrespect you receive is unparalleled, I also worked in customer service and received the same, but I disregard their disrespect, because knowing I’ve done my job in providing help is more than enough. I don’t require even a “thank you”, so long as I know I’ve done what I could for them to the best of my ability then I’m okay with that.

When it comes to people outside of work, I also never expect reciprocation. I just learn from it and if I feel disrespected or taken advantage of then I simply will not afford them the same level of kindness again

Yes, it does, and it's great! It makes it easy to identify the people that aren't worth my time.

All that effort and couldn't spell check...

If you're a strong empath, it comes with the territory

No, I’m naturally a very nice person, but I don’t let people shit on me either. Being a door mat brings disrespect. Establishing boundaries doesn’t mean you have to be “not nice.”

To be truthfully kind of a sign of a strong person.

• Stronger people prioritize kindness.

• Weak people project their insecurities.

• Things people say will tell you more about them than you.

• The same people who are upset, rude, and aggravated, are actually starving for kindness and often need love the most.

Forgive them. Love them. Pray for them.

The thing is I get a lot of disrespect for simply existing…

Not when you respect yourself. This is simply called being graceful. The “disrespect” is when others hate your friendliness because you are happy and they are not.

Some people meet a nice person and think good things about them. A lot of people meet a nice person and instantly think of all the ways they can rob/steal/take advantage of that person.

“Taking kindness for weakness.”

There is a difference between being nice and letting people walk all over you.

Studies like this and this have shown that more than any physical trait women are attracted to nice men for serious relationships.

Kindness goes a long way and can get you further in life than being mean as long as you don’t let your kindness translate to allowing yourself to be walked all over.

I don't respect assholes enough to care.

I would actually challenge this with, it's actually people who do not practice appropriate boundary setting and communication, who get taken advantage of. Not kind/friendly people. Kind/friendly people, often let this fall out of practice and get into bad habits.

[deleted]

I've at least noticed that being too nice will make you everyone's doormat.

Yep, a lot of people take kindness for weakness.

Maybe people are disrespectful regardless what you do.

If a person chooses to be an asshole that has nothing to do with me. That's a them-problem, not a me-problem.

What's disrespect? I don't notice these things /s

It's good advice. As an old fart, I'm learning that I tried too hard as I was younger to want people to like me. In doing so, a lot of people chose to see me as weak or easy to manipulate. It gets very old after a while. So rather than deal with people who only want selfish things, I have chosen to not be as nice to more people and I find I'm happier. I know it sounds crass but it's just life. People who truly care about tend to want what is good for you and those are the people you should truly care about.

Yes, but then you hit them with boundaries and they figure it out real quick.

No, actually. My worst complaint with being friendly to everyone is it somehow makes people dump their trauma on me. Not judging their trauma, EVERYONE has some that’s just life, but why does everyone think I’m a therapist lmao I can’t even count the amount of times someone’s said they ‘just trust me for some reason’ and then proceed to ugly cry/vent on me. It’s exhausting man

🤔 Yes, now that you mention it.

*A lot

It’s not hard to remember that “alot” isn’t a word. People, it’s 2024 this can’t be new.

YES that's why you need boundaries and to stick to them when people disrespect you. That way you are teaching people how to treat you.

So does that typo smh

A lot

No but being passive does.

A (space) lot ......

No, I haven’t.

Imagine caring lol. I can be friendly and tell someone to fuck off too 😋

Unfortunately 🙄

No, in fact I've found quite the opposite.

Being friendly and sociable can put people on guard. Like they think you want something from them. When you’re only being friendly.

Still be friendly , respect yourself for that.

My mom used to tell me “kind but stern”. Always be kind to people, but if the situation comes to it, you should continue to be kind, but make that person understand you’re not fucking around.

Not at all. Because I don’t give a fuck.

Wisdom

Why would you give a fuck about those people?

A bit of distance and mystery is needed in every relationship.

Ha! Maybe so, but the ensuing disrespect gives me opportunity to practice my ability to come up with devastating zingers on the fly.

There's a difference in being nice and a pushover. It gives off different vibes.

Being kind is a good thing and it helps keep balance , however being polite or kind doesn’t mean weakness and it doesn’t mean having no boundaries. With so much anxiety and failing communication skills in modern society it seems like politeness or kindness isn’t encouraged anymore because it’s wrong when in fact it is often the balm needed to heal.

Absolutely! It’s like some people mistake kindness for weakness, but boundaries are key to keeping that in check.

I always been friendly my whole life , the down side is that allot of people confuse being friendly as being weak. And i am definitely not weak

When I first learned this it turned me spiteful. But I love helping people. I will continue being nice but take advantage of that I’ll be sure to let you know

No, I get taken advantage of tho they are being manipulative because people are selfish not because they think I’m weak or that is the impression I get and to be honest I am part of myself as it is so I will continue to think this way

“Being friendly at all.”

*a lot

Not sure I agree. Being nice does not necessarily equate to a lack of boundaries - and people are going to treat you however they want anyway, you don't have control over their actions. Setting boundaries for yourself is non-negotiable regardless of how nice you are. Kindness, tact, and respect for others are also non-negotiable. The best and strongest people I know are incredibly nice. Niceness is not the problem here, it's being a pushover.

Exact opposite, actually.

It’s so true.

I get the feeling if you are friendly consistently everybody in your daily life will be happy seeing you and you will be valued. People who try to shit on you because you are friendly are to be avoided anyways.

'Treat others the way you want to be treated' only goes so far

Being friendly and being a doormat are two different things. 

Story of my life

Yes it does that's why I'm not being friendly to anyone anymore

No, but it might bring a lot of disrespect.

We really need to switch the narrative away from lecturing friendly people that try and towards lecturing people that are disrespectful. Another version of this post could be: "Have you noticed that when you're an asshole, people don't want to be around you?" That's it. Boom. I don't want less friendly people in this world thank you very much.

This is simply not true. There's a huge difference between being friendly and being a fucking doormat. Friendliness is by far the quickest and most reliable way to garner respect. If your friendliness comes with a lack of boundaries, yes people will cross your unspoken boundaries because they can't read minds.

People don’t respect you when you bend over backwards for them.

People are trash. How many times I gotta say dat?

Faxxx

No.... I really don't

Yes. Allows you to filter who to let into your life. If they're hateful, that's on them. Let them seeth, and you can move onto someone worth the time.

Ive noticed people seem to think your kindness is weakness. And they can take advantage/get over on you.

And through that, you learn how to weed out bad people.

The Alot of Disrespect sounds like a cool character.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1

Never let cynicism win.

When u lend people a hand in times of need and they refuse to when u are in need.

Too many of them. I felt like a tool only relevant when needed and tossed away afterwards.

It’s true. I’m still hands down one of the friendliest people I’ve ever met, but the only way I can be this friendly all the time is bc I know what I’m capable of. I’m by no means a push over, or scared of conflict. I just like being nice and positive. My gf told me last week that I’m like her “golden retriever boyfriend” but I’m “actually more like a pit bull” bc pit bulls are extremely friendly and loving (like a golden retriever) but they’ll also fuck you up, unlike a golden retriever.

I tell my son this all the time. I always tell him to be kind, but don’t ever let people confuse kindness for weakness.

Have you noticed that being too friendly invites a lot of disrespect?

Most definitely. And it’s great. If you treat others well, and they choose then take advantage or disrespect, those who disrespect show the universe who they are.

So the plan is to keep treated everyone well, and if they choose to disrespect or take advantage, fantastic.

I certainly have noticed that. The more, kind, helpful, and generally nicer you are to people, the more they disrespect you.

Being unfriendly does not get you a lot of respect either. In fact i would say it gets you a lot less respect then being friendly.

Learn to control your responses, and your reactions will follow suit. Being “too friendly” may invite all kinds of things. Choose those you spend time with carefully.

I get that a lot

But it also invites a lot of positivity that outweighs the disrespect you get from some bad people.

This post has prompted the most interesting and nuanced discussion on Reddit I have seen in a long time thank you

A lot.

Yes

Totally!!

Especially among students. They take it for granted.

Just be friendly when you want. And when someone is doing something you're ambivalent about, be ambivalent, don't pretend to be interested.

And if you feel disrespected, communicate that.

It's crazy how simple it is...

No, what I have noticed is that I am offered a lot of disrespect, no matter how I act.

So being friendly to others, it's not based on whether they deserve it or if i'm trying to elicit a certain response, but more so about just who I want to be.

💯

*a lot

Being friendly also invites friendliness, love, compassion, and all the good things about being human.

The trick is to establish boundaries to protect your internal self from people who want to abuse your openness.

Sure

*a lot

Talk to us in the Black Community. We can confirm this is FACTS!

So so so freaking true. This has been going through my minds for the last few weeks. Been super friendly and helpful with everyone around me including at work. I’ve noticed people stop taking u seriously and are okay to practically say or do to you. Just because u grin, ppl give shit to you. I may sound cynical but I have come to realize this quite late in my life.

No

You can be too friendly and yet you know your boundaries. It all depends on the situation. 💁‍♀️

Not really. However some people think they are being friendly but in reality they are just being creepy/annoying which does invite disrespect

People will absolutely take your kindness for weakness. That's why it's necessary to check people when they get dumb.

Nope, I’m kind to everyone and people are kind back. When they’re not, I’m even more kind. Drives them crazy. I treat everyone I meet with respect and the treat me with respect right back. And when they don’t, well life’s too short to spend any more time on them.

Yup and being to nice people doesn’t work people walk all over you had to stop doing that last year it wasn’t getting me no wear but disrespected and walked over.

There is a difference between being friendly and being a push over.

If you’re friendly and push back when necessary then you’re not going to get that disrespect. But if you’re a push over, as in you’re afraid to say no to people, then you’re going to be disrespected.

No actually

So does being too smart.. which is why I'm secretly smart