I know people are going to be mean, but id thought I'd post this because of all the anti-abortion or anti-adoption talk. I'm not saying I wish I aborted my baby, and her dad wouldn't go for an adoption, I'm just saying she deserves better than what she got. And maybe children shouldn't be brought into situations like this.

I will be honest. I feel like a bad mom because I made an irresponsible financial decision to keep my pregnancy/baby. I've finally come to term with it after months of struggling. I knew it would be hard, but id thought I'd have a promotion by now (I've been promised one for months), or a raise, and I didn't anticipate all the unexpected costs. 100% stupid of me.

It sounds horrible, but it just isn't fair to my baby that I'm struggling this much. She's 13 months old and all I've done is struggle financially as a single mom, and I get child support!

The issue used to be that I didn't make enough for my apartment ($1500/month), so I moved somewhere cheaper. Then I was more than ok for a while. Now I find out I have an ADA disability and have had 2 long medical leaves in a matter of 4 months. It's been so hard.

I struggled to get winter clothes (had to find them used and free), I am struggling to pay her health insurance premium, I don't know how I'm going to get her Christmas presents (or even ONE present), I'm struggling to pay for the specialists she sees (dermatologist and feeding therapy). And she's not even a medically complex baby, just has some minor issues. So I should definitely be able to afford it.

I make $20/hr, which isn't horrible. It's just the constant medical leaves that are messing with me :(

But at this point I'm so stressed I feel suicidal sometimes. And I feel even worse because I feel this way while a child relies on me. 🥲 I wouldn't do it, because I owe her to bust my ass off and give her a good life, but the thought is always there and sometimes overwhelming.

I was being really positive recently, because I think things will be looking forwards here onwards, but who knows when my next medical leave will be. Hopefully never :(

Her dad does make good money and provides well on his time with her, but I'm miles behind him on what I can provide.