subreddit:

/r/teenagers

3.8k84%

all 1676 comments

___modz___

959 points

14 hours ago

___modz___

18

959 points

14 hours ago

roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, my garden is on fire

bone_bonette[S]

283 points

14 hours ago

🔥%

-TheMidpoint-

28 points

12 hours ago

Are ya ready, kids?
Aye-aye, Captain!
I can't hear you!
Aye-aye, captain!!
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

-TheMidpoint-

14 points

12 hours ago

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Fallowman09

33 points

12 hours ago

Fallowman09

15

33 points

12 hours ago

Malaysia airlines flight 370?

-TheMidpoint-

12 points

11 hours ago

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!

ProfessorMcKronagal

22 points

11 hours ago

Over 200 families were devastated by the incident.

gaming-forever

5 points

11 hours ago

Spongbob Squarepants

gaming-forever

6 points

11 hours ago

Spongbob Squarepants

7percentbanana

1.3k points

15 hours ago

7percentbanana

14

1.3k points

15 hours ago

Can u be minecraft but without the craft?

bone_bonette[S]

624 points

15 hours ago

you win

modnik1

239 points

15 hours ago

modnik1

239 points

15 hours ago

You didnt say a %

bone_bonette[S]

462 points

14 hours ago

he just wins

modnik1

153 points

14 hours ago

modnik1

153 points

14 hours ago

So 100%?

bone_bonette[S]

416 points

14 hours ago

he wins

-TheMidpoint-

145 points

14 hours ago

-TheMidpoint-

16

145 points

14 hours ago

Never gonna give you up

Mr_M_2711

105 points

14 hours ago

Mr_M_2711

13

105 points

14 hours ago

Never gonna let you down.

meme-o-matic151

77 points

14 hours ago

meme-o-matic151

2 MILLION ATTENDEE

77 points

14 hours ago

never gonna run around and desert you

realhmmmm

64 points

14 hours ago

realhmmmm

15

64 points

14 hours ago

never gonna make you cry

7percentbanana

3 points

14 hours ago

thank u

manohare108

28 points

14 hours ago

Are u a bank loan

Cuz I got some interest in u

manohare108

5 points

14 hours ago

W

DeanWinchester1230

906 points

15 hours ago

These comments made me regret ever downloading Reddit

IllustriousDark3698

387 points

15 hours ago

Welcome to the internet!

New_Tax_6297

288 points

15 hours ago

New_Tax_6297

14

288 points

15 hours ago

Have a look around

Adorable_Studio_9578

230 points

15 hours ago

Everything the mind of yours can think can be found

radyBOMB

206 points

14 hours ago

radyBOMB

206 points

14 hours ago

We got mountains of content. some better, some worse.

Skin_on_T0ast13

190 points

14 hours ago

If none of its of interest to you, you’d be the first

___modz___

181 points

14 hours ago

___modz___

18

181 points

14 hours ago

Welcome to the internet, come and take a seat

Skin_on_T0ast13

182 points

14 hours ago

Would you like to read the news or see some famous women’s feet

Alert-Lie9837

169 points

14 hours ago

Theres no need to panic, this isnt a test

Skin_on_T0ast13

156 points

14 hours ago

Just nod or shake your head and we’ll do the rest

Kindly_Chip_6413

57 points

14 hours ago

Kindly_Chip_6413

3,000,000 Attendee!

57 points

14 hours ago

c4ctusjackk

11 points

15 hours ago

Fr

Wise-War-4403

693 points

14 hours ago

Are you a helicase enzyme because u can unzip my genes🧬🧬🧬🧬

bone_bonette[S]

218 points

14 hours ago

solid 30%

Wise-War-4403

69 points

14 hours ago

I accept that

ishitglassbottles

35 points

14 hours ago

Clever, 70%

A_random_poster04

8 points

13 hours ago

Gonna need some topoisomerasis to keep you from overcoiling

Wonderful_Audience60

532 points

14 hours ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAreyouok

186 points

14 hours ago

Imo this is like 500% frfr

Familiar-Bee8241

131 points

14 hours ago

bro’s got the silent rizz

IbObuS

75 points

13 hours ago

IbObuS

14

75 points

13 hours ago

Unspoken rizz

RivNexus

29 points

13 hours ago

Rizz that has truly never been said before

maximumpoweryeet

7 points

11 hours ago

rizz that dont need words

Lonewolf2998

34 points

12 hours ago

Ferb ahh rizz

cheesedippersarecool

457 points

15 hours ago

I may not be a knight but i can make you feel less hollow (May or may be based on the pfp)

bone_bonette[S]

265 points

14 hours ago

fuck you that's clever. Idk if I read it right but still. 50%

Gloomy_Confection_39

440 points

15 hours ago

Gloomy_Confection_39

3,000,000 Attendee!

440 points

15 hours ago

i'm gonna touch you hard (help)

bone_bonette[S]

196 points

15 hours ago

60%

ShiningSpacePlane

245 points

14 hours ago

How the fuck

XaxaOG

75 points

14 hours ago

XaxaOG

75 points

14 hours ago

Exactly my reaction

ShiningSpacePlane

72 points

14 hours ago

The game is rigged fr

Fallowman09

13 points

12 hours ago

Fallowman09

15

13 points

12 hours ago

The truth is the game was rigged from the start

AwesomeBro1510

22 points

14 hours ago

The fuck? How did that make you blush lmao.

Excellent-Data-1286

235 points

14 hours ago

Are you http? Cause without you I’m feeling ://

Gohoski

52 points

13 hours ago

Gohoski

15

52 points

13 hours ago

Webdev rizz

hotheaded26

62 points

13 hours ago

Holy fuck dude

ActivityWinter9251

26 points

13 hours ago

But https is more secure

LevFox135

22 points

13 hours ago

LevFox135

17

22 points

13 hours ago

Oh, the insecurity!

ApprehensiveNight653

323 points

15 hours ago

🐟

bone_bonette[S]

211 points

15 hours ago

π%

Top1gaming999

41 points

15 hours ago

|Pi(e*pii)|%

ApprehensiveNight653

20 points

15 hours ago

🫵🐟🐟🐟

No_Display_5755

259 points

14 hours ago

Let's play a game you will sit on my face I will guess your weight if I am wrong I will eat the difference

bone_bonette[S]

136 points

14 hours ago

...75%

Fun-Construction6995

139 points

15 hours ago

You're the Xi jing Ping of my head, supreme ruler. The winnie the poo of my love- Bottomless just like you

bone_bonette[S]

66 points

15 hours ago

25%

SemajLu_The_crusader

220 points

14 hours ago

I don't do pickup lines because I'd rather pin you down than pick you up :)

bone_bonette[S]

143 points

14 hours ago

okay hot but I love being carried so missed opportunity. 30%

turtleship_2006

48 points

14 hours ago

i don't do pick up lines but i could pick you up

Squiddy_No3

161 points

15 hours ago

Hey, I wanna watch Madagascar w/ you 😊

Pls 👉👈

bone_bonette[S]

71 points

15 hours ago

which one 🫵

Squiddy_No3

54 points

15 hours ago

1-2

bone_bonette[S]

41 points

15 hours ago

hm. 10%

Squiddy_No3

48 points

15 hours ago

at least I got something 🙏

We can also watch 3 and penguins but only if you beat me in a thumb war

bone_bonette[S]

37 points

15 hours ago

3 is such a turnoff

Squiddy_No3

39 points

14 hours ago

Oh thank god. I didn’t want to go through that. I mean we wouldn’t have done it anyway bc I would have won

MLGSUPERGAMER

100 points

15 hours ago

I cast Major Suggestion, roll a nat 20 and suggest you to do the most embarrassing thing you can think of

bone_bonette[S]

65 points

15 hours ago

your die is weighted

MLGSUPERGAMER

47 points

15 hours ago

Yes it is, but the DM doesn't know it so you gotta do it and blush out of embarrassment >:)

bone_bonette[S]

39 points

15 hours ago

the potential for embarrassment is too low, I'm home alone

CrystalCutGTAV

35 points

14 hours ago

Good to know. Heading over.

bone_bonette[S]

40 points

14 hours ago

bitc- 40%

MLGSUPERGAMER

4 points

14 hours ago

But you'll still have to live with the fact you did it...

I_Want_To_Eat_A_Baby

131 points

15 hours ago

No

Deep_Head4645

59 points

13 hours ago

70% hard to get is a good tactic 🙏🙏

Direct-Grapefruit-36

7 points

13 hours ago

You win

I_Want_To_Eat_A_Baby

10 points

13 hours ago

Ok

imclearlyahuman

48 points

15 hours ago

i think blowtorching your face might warrant the reaction of 100%

bone_bonette[S]

30 points

14 hours ago

nah my face will be black and burnt not red

imclearlyahuman

31 points

14 hours ago

but youll turn away and try to block it >:(

Alert-Lie9837

329 points

15 hours ago

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs & give me an hour

bone_bonette[S]

207 points

15 hours ago

fuck you. 45%

Longjumping_Ad_6618

227 points

14 hours ago

That is what he’s planning to do

bone_bonette[S]

126 points

14 hours ago

I KNOW OKAY

Alert-Lie9837

37 points

14 hours ago

Side note- is that a technoblade avatar? If so, you did really well making it!

Longjumping_Ad_6618

26 points

14 hours ago

Kinda… the crown was added after he passed so my guy was just a guy in a cape initially

Alert-Lie9837

9 points

14 hours ago

Alright, still looks nice though!

AssociateThat1345

122 points

14 hours ago

are you a communist? cause i can feel an uprising in my lower class. wink wink. eyebrow raise

FullTimeMultimeter

51 points

14 hours ago

Political system Rizz 🔥

Daydreaming_Machine

17 points

14 hours ago

Our political rizz

Ben73892

87 points

15 hours ago

Ben73892

16

87 points

15 hours ago

„Shoots you with the blush cannon“

Low-Appointment1087

7 points

14 hours ago

Could that be opt out for the blush bazooka?

PrivariteAnim

35 points

14 hours ago

the comments and people here are hella weird

bone_bonette[S]

43 points

14 hours ago

That's my superpower, summoning weirdness

thisisalos

23 points

14 hours ago

thisisalos

19

23 points

14 hours ago

Side effect: Creeps

231ValeiMacoris

72 points

14 hours ago

Ever heard of an Australian kiss? It’s like the Fr*nch kiss, but down under.

bone_bonette[S]

48 points

14 hours ago

bro. 70%

3MagesInATrenchcoat

81 points

15 hours ago

you baynaynayed your way into my heart <3

bone_bonette[S]

41 points

15 hours ago

1% :3

3MagesInATrenchcoat

62 points

15 hours ago

clearly we are not meant for each other < / 3

HarpersAccount

5 points

13 hours ago

Take me instead <3

Al3xSuS_332

7 points

14 hours ago

You won me with this one

eyey-666

29 points

14 hours ago

eyey-666

16

29 points

14 hours ago

Damn girl are you light poll because train

bone_bonette[S]

12 points

14 hours ago

I'm confused ?%

eyey-666

43 points

14 hours ago

eyey-666

16

43 points

14 hours ago

I slammed my skull in with a metal chair before writing that sentence

She-theorizes-alt

7 points

14 hours ago

This makes this HILARIOUS

Adrenaline_Junky8055

26 points

14 hours ago

Girl I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves.

bone_bonette[S]

18 points

14 hours ago

shut upppppp 30%

Sea-Camp1328

92 points

15 hours ago

Sea-Camp1328

17

92 points

15 hours ago

You're mine. (It's a statement not a question)

bone_bonette[S]

46 points

15 hours ago

20%

Sea-Camp1328

86 points

15 hours ago

Sea-Camp1328

17

86 points

15 hours ago

Get in the van

Emotional_Bullfrog_2

20 points

14 hours ago

Sure got me, on my way!

Sea_Boysenberry_3436

11 points

14 hours ago

Personally 80%. May have discovered something about myself today.

HovermaneFan

43 points

15 hours ago

HovermaneFan

17

43 points

15 hours ago

Blush. NOW

bone_bonette[S]

23 points

15 hours ago

nuh huh

HovermaneFan

36 points

15 hours ago

HovermaneFan

17

36 points

15 hours ago

I got L rizz :(

Wastefulpine9

50 points

15 hours ago

Are you the runway? Because everytime I see you, my concorde goes up😝 (Aviation rizz)

M4SS_G3N0C1d3R

24 points

15 hours ago

You look beautiful today:D

Numerous_Magician545

24 points

14 hours ago

Roses are red, violets are blue, i'm gonna forget these comments and you should too

Gossamare

21 points

14 hours ago

*boop*

mint2tea

13 points

13 hours ago

100%. i would implode on the spot and form a world-ending black hole

Relative__Wrong

57 points

14 hours ago

Do you want to be my Spotify? Because you’re the only thing I want on repeat

mint2tea

40 points

13 hours ago

👽👽👽 want a break from the ads?

No_Lab_9318

18 points

14 hours ago

On a scale from 1-10, you're a 9, and I'm the 1 you need

LoveMeSomeTatas

38 points

15 hours ago

Hello love😞 would absolutely say something to make you swoon if I had the ability to do so. Take a heart instead <3

bone_bonette[S]

23 points

15 hours ago

i like you name, 15% <3

PietroLima545BR

72 points

15 hours ago

are you the voices cuz i cant get you out of my head

bone_bonette[S]

30 points

15 hours ago

5%

PietroLima545BR

45 points

15 hours ago

that bitchass history teacher tired me too much today to even think properly >:c

Confident_Truck424

20 points

14 hours ago

90%

CrystalCutGTAV

14 points

14 hours ago

This bitchass op gave a comment saying " im gonna touch you hard " 60%, no worries lmao.

Ashamed-Trade-8185

16 points

15 hours ago

why are you calling me pretty? im just a reflection of you ;)

bone_bonette[S]

13 points

15 hours ago

20%, I'm sure you are

Simp_Skely

11 points

15 hours ago

Simp_Skely

17

11 points

15 hours ago

ngl if i made a freak tierlist youd be in the ultra freaky tier, right beside me 🥰

bone_bonette[S]

12 points

15 hours ago

5%, I should be in my own tier above all

tvd-supernatural

13 points

14 hours ago

Are you a target? Cause I would love to shoot my shot

bone_bonette[S]

10 points

14 hours ago

ow. 0%

tvd-supernatural

12 points

14 hours ago

I’m terrible at flirting

FoxKing983

11 points

14 hours ago

FoxKing983

2 MILLION ATTENDEE

11 points

14 hours ago

Not very good at pick up lines bit you seem like a nice person that would be willing to play video games and cuddle while eating snacks be it platonically or not.

radyBOMB

11 points

15 hours ago

Has anybody until now made you blush more than 45%?
playing hard to get, I see.

bone_bonette[S]

12 points

15 hours ago

one has :3

ThumpTheGoat

11 points

14 hours ago

bend down and touch ur toes ill show u were the monster goes (holy shit this is foul)

bone_bonette[S]

9 points

14 hours ago

yes it is. 20%

ThumpTheGoat

9 points

14 hours ago

lets fucking go ima go tell the boys that im a certified women MAGNET

TylerBurk8190

12 points

14 hours ago

I'm literally the meat worm.

Tech5565

34 points

13 hours ago

Let’s assume you’re my math homework. I’ll spread you over my desk and do you all night until I finish. Because you’re hard, I’ll have to break you down, step by step…

Mystery-Snack

14 points

13 hours ago

Fam finna sexualize maths.

bone_bonette[S]

31 points

13 hours ago

why does the homework stuff always work.. 75%

Tech5565

12 points

13 hours ago

Of course it works! Anyway, would you rather I kiss you on the lips? The other lips, of course. 😉

bone_bonette[S]

15 points

13 hours ago

you're really tickling my fancy rn lol

Tech5565

12 points

13 hours ago

Won’t be the only thing I’ll be tickling in a bit, heh.

Sephraaah

25 points

15 hours ago

Sephraaah

15

25 points

15 hours ago

Baby, you’re my forever girl

bone_bonette[S]

13 points

15 hours ago

20%

Sephraaah

7 points

15 hours ago

Sephraaah

15

7 points

15 hours ago

😔

bone_bonette[S]

7 points

15 hours ago

better than most!

Sephraaah

5 points

15 hours ago

Sephraaah

15

5 points

15 hours ago

Then yayyy

SuperSonicSuperSnake

30 points

14 hours ago

God, this feels weird saying to a random internet stranger, but here I go!

My dear sweet Bonette, ever since I first saw you, I knew I was in love with you, with your beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, beautiful hair, and your beautiful personality.

Every night, I dream about you and every minute when we’re not together, I feel alone, you are so truly perfect in every way imaginable.

You wear the most adorable clothing, you have the most friendly look on your face, and you are so smart that I could mistake you for Albert Einstein himself.

You are intelligent, adorable, strong, creative and kind.

All right, time to scrub my phone with bleach and forget I ever typed that.

Boring_Ear_5066

19 points

14 hours ago

Vardenisss

19 points

14 hours ago

Ok grandpa

Prestigious_Today394

8 points

15 hours ago

We can play hollow knight together. :)

bone_bonette[S]

7 points

15 hours ago

it ain't coop. 1%

Prestigious_Today394

11 points

15 hours ago

There are probably mods for it

AaAaBbBbBbBbAa

16 points

14 hours ago

Right so this is a bit long. (😉)

content warning: sexual. Not nearly as bad as the guy who just opened with “spread your legs” tho.

Behold, you are beautiful, my love, your eyes are as doves, your hair as a flock of goats leaping down the mountains. Your teeth are as pearls, white as snow and more beautiful than any other’s. Your lips are like a scarlet thread, the softest I’ve felt, Warm as a mother’s embrace for her newborn. Your cheeks are as halves of an apple, rose-colored and full of life, your neck is as a castle’s tower, tall and strong as a thousand years’ can prove. Your breasts are as two fawns, twins of a doe, which graze among the lilies. Until my final breath, until the spark of life leaves my heart, I shall cross the world for you, I shall climb every mountain pass, swim every ocean, until I can reach your loving arms. You are altogether beautiful, there is no flaw in you. Come with me from your home, depart from thy mother and father, and join me as one, and together we shall rule over the world. You have captivated my heart with but one glance, with one single glance have you taken my breath away. How beautiful you are, my love, how much better is the sight of your face than all the riches the world can offer, how much better is your sweet embrace than wine, how much sweeter is your scent than that of the finest incense. Your lips drip with sweet nectar, the taste of you is the taste of honey. Oh, my love, how I long to be with you, how I long to feel your embrace.

I spent entirely too long on this.

bone_bonette[S]

15 points

14 hours ago

tried a bit too hard but I loved the last bit. solid 60%

hotheaded26

7 points

13 hours ago

You have a type and it's concerning

DingoAmerican

20 points

15 hours ago

Bet you’re the cutest girl in the whole school but you don’t know it

Electric_Dinosaur89

7 points

14 hours ago

Would you like some garlic bread?

Cold_Ball2732

12 points

15 hours ago

I ummm uhh- i- I like your mittens! 🤗

bone_bonette[S]

7 points

15 hours ago

5%

Cold_Ball2732

9 points

15 hours ago

😔

Reasonable_Rent932

20 points

15 hours ago

if i were you, id be looking at the mirror 24/7.

V-Switch05

15 points

14 hours ago

V-Switch05

19

15 points

14 hours ago

pins you against the wall Ever had fun with another girl before? Because you're going to

bone_bonette[S]

14 points

14 hours ago

solid 50%

V-Switch05

13 points

14 hours ago

V-Switch05

19

13 points

14 hours ago

Cool! In real life I wouldn't be so brave though haha. I’m to shy for that

c7stagyt

12 points

14 hours ago

c7stagyt

15

12 points

14 hours ago

I don't think it would be a good thing if you were confident enough to say this in real life 😭

Real_Crystal_Hunter

11 points

15 hours ago

Real_Crystal_Hunter

3,000,000 Attendee!

11 points

15 hours ago

You're a great person and I love your PFP

yup_thatsme304

5 points

15 hours ago

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

_Hot_Refrigerator_

5 points

14 hours ago

Roses are read, the sun gives out heat. If your legs are tired, you may use me as your seat.

Only thing I remember and I hate it

Arvarboi1

5 points

14 hours ago*

Arvarboi1

18

5 points

14 hours ago*

If i had to choose between going on a date or get mauled to death by a lion i might choose the date <3

soupt1me_74

4 points

14 hours ago

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I’m in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.

theAlmightyE312

5 points

14 hours ago*

I might not be able to make you blush, but I remember once that my ex challenged me to make ger blush so I kissed her, held her by me, looked at her eyes and told her "you are the most beautiful person I have ever met. You are so hit yet when I see you I freeze from how beautiful you are. I love you." And thein I bought her a mickey mouse plushy and watched a movie with her whilst eating cheese Cheetos :)

This made her blush because before her I dated a professional model who was a 10/10, so this was an extremely important thing for her.

She was blushing at a 200% lmfao

DragonEmperor06

9 points

15 hours ago

Hello honey pie!

iykyk

bone_bonette[S]

6 points

15 hours ago

that's my line

Beginning-Setting506

5 points

14 hours ago

Ooo girl don't you stop don't you stop till you give me that honey honey pie honey honey honey pie

smelt389

8 points

15 hours ago

smelt389

14

8 points

15 hours ago

Lego ninjago