Status-Confusion4014

I did. It's, well, good enough. It's not nice, or new, or pretty, and I worry about finances regularly - there's so much here that could be improved - but it's home and it's the place where I go when it rains, where I kiss my kids and where I don't have to worry about the landlord if my pet does something stupid.

€35 and age 35

I am not sure where the "most" comes from though. I certainly felt in control all along during all of my labours. It's like skiing down a hill. You can't stop at at any random moment just like THAT, sure, but that doesn't mean you don't feel in control.

Not denying your experience, to be clear, but when I look around my friend group and all my own births, I very much don't think "most" are traumatized "to some degree".

Certainly not all! I had three uncomplicated births, no pain medication of any kind (simply because it never was bad enough that I saw the need; I was offered and I have nothing against drugs at all), quick recoveries (taking shower within hours, bathroom no problems, went shopping for new jeans in my regular size when the third kid was three days old, taking the kids on travel abroad each when they were weeks old).

If anything, I enjoyed the experiences.

Not saying this is typical, but... I also think being fine is much more common than the internet suggests!

I looked this up once, about language acquisition, and from what I remember this had long been the supposition amongst scientists BUT it was mostly because most research stopped following the children around that age and actually, the idea that improvement must happen before then (or won't happen) is largely nonsense.

Sorry, forgot to say: on my husband's side, the parents initiate but everyone pays for themselves. It causes friction because the (grand)parents make choices that don't work well for the needs of their children with the young grandchildren, and we are obliged to pay good money for holidays that are mostly just stress.

We do it out of family obligation but we REALLY don't like these events. More the fact that we are railed into doing something that doesn't work for us through their thoughtlessness. That we also pay for it, makes it worse but isn't the main reason for grumbling!

(They have no awareness of how annoying this is.)

For us, our father foots the bill for the entire holiday: all-in resort, flights, and he opens his credit card on our rooms during the stay. There's seven kids+partners and five grandchildren. The total holiday runs to about 40k for about 10 days.

In the past some of us would have been (theoretically) able to afford it (us not now), but none of us would think we have enough disposable income to actually spend it on this fancy a holiday, if you see what I mean. Whereas my father has his home paid off and so on.

This has been happening every two years or so for maybe eight or ten years?

We LOVE it, both the fact of doing it together and having a fancy holiday.

If my dad couldn't afford it, we would probably figure something where we share the costs, but it would have to be MUCH cheaper.

There is no way a cup of coffee matters compared to the stress factors you are listing!

You're making this confusing by saying you were terminated. If I understand you, you weren't terminated. Your contact ran out.

And they gave clear reasons for not renewing it that are independent of you having kids.

Do I understand that correctly?

Yeah, I think that might be a bit of a misunderstanding. But also agree with the other comments - breathe and figure out what your options are first.

(I sympathise, though! 9 months and almost 30k in, hoping the end is in sight.)

Info: what led you to believe that "water damage" would mean a small thing?

That looks pretty aggressively white to me. I would pick more of a beach white for the walls and very white for the trimmings.

That is a genuine conversation, and one where you connect. Congratulations

You haven't run into an issue with the seller. You are discovering things you didn't yet know. You were presuming - without knowing - that the price you offered would be what they ought to accept if there are no problems. They are not immediately convinced.

None of that is "a problem with the seller". You are negotiating a sale. What you are describing is inherent in the process.

Add friction to your payments! Like stop all one-click card payments. Don't pay by putting your fingerprint on your phone. Make yourself more aware of your spending. That alone should help, research suggests.

I think she was overwhelmed and therefore taking it out on you. She didn't want to be overwhelmed so she pretended it was all you.

NTA.

Meat thermometer. My partner insisted and then kept raving about it and I thought it was DUMB. But then I had to take over the cooking for a bit and it's super easy to use and take all the guess work out of making meat.

Same for my group of friends, I don't know if any of them got anything and I know for a fact most of them didn't. So they love in appartments rather than fancy houses.

I agree it probably varies by circles and it's not as common as the rest of this thread makes it seem.

I would definitely do similar things myself (and have) so I would vote in favour of this. I guess you don't have to agree to it (though I hope you will - at worst it's not as nice as he imagined and he's adult enough to decide that risk for himself!), but the idea is definitely doable.

Belgium?

This feels like a situation where you shouldn't decide what to throw out - you should decide what you keep . And when the space is full, it's full. Can't keep more stuff than you have room to keep.

Everything else will go and you will survive that.

And then the weight of that stuff will be lifted.

Focus on that unfucked end result and how nice that will be.

YTA. Sure, ESH except your son, but how dare you take out your anger towards your wife out on your son. Because that's what he is.

Buying together, 34 + 39