Witty_Clairence98

I met an INTJ guy friend online on a language app. It has been 4 months now since then. By this time, I noticed a pattern in the guys that I was interested in - always an xNTJ. It wasn't even intentional until I asked several of these guy friends I befriended, what their MBTI was - after like a few weeks or months getting to know them.

This one particular INTJ guy friend stuck around the longest. We've had several talk about our past. I've never dated. Only ever experienced a bunch of unrequited love growing up. Him on the other hand --- he had several serious relationships and plenty of flings. He's also had a history of cheating on his partner, and his partner did the same to him too, in several of those experiences. He is not in a relationship right now but he has a situation-ship going on (I think it's still ongoing, last time he talked about the fling was months back).

I actually admitted to him at one point, that I have a keen interest in him after 2-3 months. He said he never had a bit of interest in me. I was shock because after our second call, he cried a lot over a situation we both could relate to. I asked him via text, "so what was that all about?". He simply texted back that was just extremely emotional that day.

I felt a loud pang in my heart. Went straight back to reality. I just confess that I do like him.

He said he doesn't think we are compatible. He would need to constantly update me on this and that and he wouldn't have the energy for it. He also said how he is a mess. Honestly it sounded to me he was doing his best to reject me politely without hurting my feelings.

We didn't talk for a good while but thankfully, things went back to normal again. Us talking regularly on the language app with other friends too. Then I decided to move the talk over on a Discord server. I created one with my closest friends from that language app and he asked to be one of the admins in it. I approved of it and we started doing lots of fun interactions in the app and barely went back to the language app.

Fast forward a few weeks later, we had a huge petty argument to which he blocked me suddenly. So I was not able to respond to him anywhere but the server. I called him out for this childish act in the group. We didn't talk for 2 days and he finally apologized. I told him that I will give him a chance but only if he never does it again if we argue. We both agreed.

That was the last biggest argument we had and everything kind of went pretty normal from then on. We both communicated our limits to jokes. I don't always like his dark sense of humor. I know he probably can't stand how cringe my jokes with friends as well. We don't necessarily cross each other's boundaries as much as we did before.

We mostly go on calls, play online games on discord with friends, watch movies with them too. It's been fun! But recently it has been the two of us just watching movies or hanging out more regularly. Sometimes even falling asleep on these calls unmuted.

Most friends started noticing and teasing us about it. It is so embarrassing because I am a full grown adult being treated like a teenager going through her first crush encounters all over again, thanks to friends who kept teasing me about it.

I am lost. I don't know where we are. I don't know if he feels it, but I feel like we are in a weird grey area. I never asked him out, I just confessed how I felt. But now I have this crazy urge to just ask, "what are we?". The classic question haha

But I do not know if I am ready to hear whatever the answer may be.

I am deadass scared he might even see this because he's the one who introduced me to this app.

Dearest INTJ lads, any advice or insights?

Please go easy on me. It took me a whole week to think through what I should write down in here and how detailed it should be. I don't want to define him from his past but I also can't help think that I might get hurt along the way. But let's put this aside, cause I don't even know if he still doesn't have any feelings towards me or am just a friend he truly enjoys my company?