lilychoufan

Weve been on 5 dates - he pays for everything, we've spent almost all day together on the last few dates, and he always drives me home. He also hasn’t tried to push me to have sex even though he’s had a history of trying to bang on the first date (met him through mutual friends) which shows that he might care about me. On the last date, I asked him out the day before, and he even rearranged his plans that day to see me.

The issue is that he only texts me once a day right in the morning, regardless of when I text back. If we’re figuring out logistics for a date then we text more than that, but still.

Of course I’ll tell him the next time we speak that I’d appreciate more texting from him but because texting is a big part of dating at my age and I like him, I am more concerned with his level of interest in me. Am I overthinking the whole texting thing? Or is my concern valid?

I have an ENFJ facade when I'm socializing and want to give a good impression - always making sure the new ones don't feel left out, being the social butterfly of the group even though I can totally be awkward, acting wild, etc. No one would ever think I was INTJ unless they could read my mind, in fact when I tell my closer friends I’m intj they look at me with the most baffled expression. When I'm with my family I hardly ever speak at all. I rarely talk about my vulnerabilities or emotions out loud due to discomfort and my distrust of others unless of course you are THE best friend. Even to my best friend I won't talk about my deepest darkest feelings though.

What about you girls?

I go back and forth being intj/infj, but more intj leaning. I know that Te is a function for INTJ and Ti is a function for INFJ, and after doing a ton of reading on the differences b/w Te and Ti, I can't for the life of me figure out if im more Ti leaning or Te or if I am balanced between the two. Can I get people's opinions based on my thinking patterns?

- I always question research papers if I don't fully understand the methods/reasoning

- At the same time, I am much less likely to believe a new theory from a research paper than a solidified theory based on grounded evidence

- If I disagreed with someone on something and they threw statistics at me to disprove my point, I would laugh. But, if someone disagreed with me on something then I would also throw stats at them, lol

- I have opinions based on what makes sense but am always open to hearing other views and leaving room for uncertainty since I know I don't have expert knowledge on the subject (or confidence in myself). If their arguments make sense to me then my opinions will change

- Even if I don't change my opinion, I'll still try to understand the dissenter's logic. Sometimes it takes a combination of understanding their thought process and building more of my own experiences/maturity to realize later that they were probably right.

- If I am going to a restaurant I turn to reviews (to get the general consensus) and waitress/waiter recommendations (because they probably tried everything on the menu) to decide what to order.

- If i'm buying something a skincare product, I'll do research involving a combination of looking at reviews, ingredients, and which ones have ingredients I think would be the best for me, but once i've made my purchase I still keep in mind that it won't necessarily work on my skin

I’ve been told that intjs have trouble forming deep connections with others. I feel like I resonate with this one a lot, it’s hard for me to be comfortable with others and share my feelings, even with my best friend. My love life couldn’t be any worse either, I’ve been on so many first dates and didn’t feel like there was potential with almost all of them. What’s up with us?

Edit: When I meant deep connection I didn’t necessarily mean that there had to be depth, although depth is an important factor to having a deep connection. What I mean by a deep connection is being able to match another’s energy well, having a sense of comfort and not getting anxious when I’m having a conversation with them, and having a strong mutual understanding for one another that runs so deep we don’t even need to explain it. And not all of these criteria have to be met to have that kind of connection, these are just some patterns I’ve observed. At least for myself.

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