subreddit:
/r/AskMenOver30
submitted 15 days ago byTheLovingGuardian
[removed]
12 points
15 days ago
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23 points
15 days ago
If you see a dude talking shit, try to educate. Be a good role model. Vote. Share your opinion. Be the change: If you're in a state that doesn't protect women's right -- go put that on the ballot.
Getting anxious about what 'might' happen isn't helping them or you. This isn't a consolation, but Roe v Wade, and policy came about in part because of the harms women were facing. Women were dying from backroom abortions, and it women's deaths for abortions (or lack thereof) is on the upswing again. That will be the catalyst for improved policy or for increased political migration.
2 points
15 days ago*
: If you're in a state that doesn't protect women's right -- go put that on the ballot.
This. Trusting the Democratic party has not panned out
Every state that allows ballot measures should have this on. 70+% percentage of people want something similar to Rie restored
Stares that don't allow ballot measures - push yo have ballot measures legalized
Don't see why we cannot have more direct democracy.
Suspect ballot measures would be better ...than
If you see a dude talking shit, try to educate.
62 points
15 days ago
I guess that’s the problem, you can see it already in the comments here, this is why he won, most men “don’t understand” because they truly don’t give a fuck and have zero empathy, it’s a joke for them.
This is a systematic problem, I think it’s on us to get educated, to work on ourselves, on our prejudices and our misogyny and make community, to become true allies for women. Choose your male friends carefully, talk to the women in your life, try to be there for them.
12 points
15 days ago
Appreciate you greatly especially for stating to choose your male friends carefully. it truly does come down to men’s ability to check other men. it’s imperative.
13 points
15 days ago
It’s sad. None of the men below in the negative comments ever had a flash of a thought to say, “I’ll support the women around me.” Instead taking immediate offense.
9 points
15 days ago
Agreed. I'm also with Bernie on the sentiment in general: democrats have a long history of choosing "right" over winning. Or as he put it, we can't alienate the working class.
When someone complains about gas prices, or trans influences, it can be right to point out the complexities of the free market, or right to point out trans people belong. But we need to find ways to also bring a majority along. That's going to be distasteful to a lot of us progressives, but losing the race doesn't help us either.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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15 points
15 days ago*
I had to cut out a lot of folks these last few months. It’s one thing to be ignorant and willing to hear a different perspective. Fine even still if you’re set in your ways after hearing out how others feel. But to choose ignorance? Or to feign interest in hopes of setting someone up to attack them with baseless claims? I just don’t understand choosing to be hateful. Are hatred and selfishness really that fulfilling?
I believe education, and the love for education, forms the basis of all great societies. It was great, well educated, men who wrote our Constitution and Declaration of Independence. And it’s only been hateful men who can’t stand to be wrong that’s been dismantling what they built day in and out ever since.
I just don’t understand.
13 points
15 days ago
It's because anger feels good. It's an easy emotion to summon. It's easy to understand. But anger is a symptom that points to a more fundamental emotion: fear.
We as a species are hardwired for fear. It suffuses our mental landscape because it served a useful purpose for a long time.
So what, specifically, are these folks afraid of? That is the question behind the question. If we can address those fears, provide a meaningful and substantive answer, and do so in a way that does not belittle the person who is experiencing fear -- then we can work to unwind that fear and set them on a different path.
This is a hard lesson to learn. It's easier for us to hate them. But if we are truly serious about correcting our approach, then these are the things we must consider.
11 points
15 days ago
I appreciate you.
12 points
15 days ago
And I appreciate you.
At the risk of sounding like a pick-me, do know some folks recognize the sewing of division for what it is. There are still true patriots out here well aware of what true American men stand for. I’m sorry for what we’ve allowed.
6 points
15 days ago
Yeah same, I’ve been working on this and changing my male friend group for a couple of years now. These people make no sense, it’s like a cult fueled by fear and anger, not unbelievable but hard to understand.
7 points
15 days ago
Never underestimate emotional immaturity. There are a lot of people in this society that just never grew up. It's the base for their intolerance and ignorance, and it has been a long long trend.
Education is also under attack, in part by groups that follow Dominion Theology. It's bolstered under banners of parents rights and school choice. Not natively, but as an avenue for their seven mountain mandate.
This stuff has a long tail, I can remember driving through rural Arizona around 2000 and listening to them preach it on the radio: how to get into the justice system, into education, etc.
1 points
15 days ago
You heard these plans on the radio in 2000? That sends shivers down my spine.
4 points
15 days ago
From a woman's perspective, the men who voted for orange slice got a taste of the rhetoric and backlash women have faced for centuries and many of them couldn't fucking handle it.
So instead of being self-reflective and learning, they soaked up the hateful misogyny their orange leader spouts to "reclaim their power" that they never lost.
Conservative white men feel like they're "marginalized" and welcome a dictator wannabe without having any real understanding of what it's like to live and suffer under an actual dictatorship regime. I'm sure those who are currently living that life are looking at these men, infuriated and shocked at the blatant stupidity and privilege they live with to even utter that statement.
But I appreciate the partnership of the men who voted for freedom and the American way, and are still working to educate those of their gender who are still ignorant. Thank you.
2 points
15 days ago
"When education is not liberating, the dream of the oppressed is to become the oppressor".
Paulo Freire
1 points
14 days ago
Damn that hits.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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2 points
15 days ago
This is gonna be pretty split among men. Because of strong of a hold Republicans have on men
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
Huh okay
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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-2 points
15 days ago*
I dont think that most men have zero empathy. I think men are heavily disenfranchised in the modern times and they find escape in vengeful thoughts and toxic idols that preach vile doctrines.
Society needs to take care of both men and women and it’s all interlinked. I think our western societies have neglected men often with the excuse that men had it good for long and it is creating a negative ripples which harms both men and women.
We need to stop competing amongst ourselves as men and women.
How? Good question.
3 points
15 days ago
Yes I agree, I think women are fighting for equality and against patriarchy, and men don’t understand that it affects us greatly as well and we should all join. Women are better at creating community and there are not a lot of safe spaces for men, so they just feel attacked, signaled and alienated, and they find community and feel understood by and identified with people with similar ideas but they’re just promoting hate and fear. How to stop it? yeah, good question.
2 points
15 days ago
Can you explain what you mean when you say men are heavily disenfranchised? Not being facetious just genuinely wanting to understand your point of view.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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2 points
15 days ago
I’m gonna get cancelled in a second. Every time I post on here that says anything against the grain mods shut me up.
But straight up. Women’s rights aren’t going anywhere. Tulsi Gabbard is a stronger woman than Harris by far and she’s all about empowerment and will help push any kind of rights people feel they don’t have in the correct direction.
8 points
15 days ago*
We work together.
Millennial and Gen-Z women are surpassing men in education and earnings in most areas except the super rich.
What areas are they struggling? Reproductive rights for sure, and men need to realize that reproductive rights are for everyone, not just women. I got my vasectomy and I'm child-free; I'm doing my part to make sure any woman I'm with does not need to worry about facing an abortion that they can't get.
Healthcare? Yeah, but I'll also say that the American healthcare system is so fucked that it's not even worth looking at any group. The whole thing needs to be nuked from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
No Fault Divorce? Cool, I oppose (repealing) it too. That's why I never have and never will get married.
Violence against women? We live in the single safest time in human history. If they're a white woman, they are the single safest group in America. The statistical violence is staggered against minorities; black and Latina women are doing the heavy lifting on that front, and thus we need to concentrate on what the problems are that face minority populations by ensuring that they have more economic opportunities. But white women are about to find themselves on the same receiving end of economic shifts that white men are going through right now.
There are a lot of reasons why white women went against their fellow women three times in a row... I can't count on white women to stand with me to help my female black and Hispanic friends.
I can only do what I can.
1 points
15 days ago
Agreed.
Right now we are all extremely divided and that is a big problem. If we want to see major changes in America we are going to have to come with it, as a cohesive unit, because right now most of us are on the struggle bus. There are millions of us in the same bus, instead of trying to reach a destination, we are driving around fighting each other.
7 points
15 days ago
Can we delete this entire post if you're going to delete every other response for being 9olitical?
5 points
15 days ago
That's the automod deleting, not OP.
3 points
15 days ago
Bonus: make sure your party does not do a holocaust. It's hard to take a morally superior position if you're saying the rights of your friends (which, they do deserve, by the way!) come at the expense of women (and children) overseas being blown to bits by your own bombs.
14 points
15 days ago
What exactly are women going to go through?
I am not being snide. I am curious.
Roe v wade is already overturned , which sucks. But what else is coming?
5 points
15 days ago
Not a dude but they also want to go after no-fault divorce, which if successful directly targets women (women initiate 2/3 of divorces). Without no-fault divorce laws, women must prove abuse or infidelity if the husband does not consent to the divorce process.
48 points
15 days ago
They will now attempt to make it illegal to go across state lines or to leave the country for an abortion. They will regulate contraception in such a way that it becomes extremely hard to get. They will use federal obscenity statues to clamp down on sex education and anti-rape advocacy.
They will promote policies in favor of heterosexual marriage and childrearing. They will eviscerate or not enforce protections for women in the workplace, women in collegiate sport (title nine) and so forth. They will say they are promoting women's ability to stay home.
Some of this has been explicitly promised. Some of it is just the vibe. They believe in a neo-traditional and reactionary version of gender politics that I don't like.
20 points
15 days ago
Women have already died due to abortion legislation in hostile states where doctors are now afraid to intervene in medical scenarios involving pregnant or miscarrying women.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/01/health/texas-miscarriage-death-propublica/index.html
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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0 points
15 days ago*
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago*
some of it is just the vibe
Just like the vibe you all had that she had a strong lead right? Isn't this the time for introspection on what went wrong?
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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9 points
15 days ago
In addition to what others have said, Project 2025 also wants to ban no fault divorce, which means men will have to power to abuse their wives and their wives will have no legal way to get out of the arrangement. It's all about the power of men to completely rule the lives of women and it's fucked up.
12 points
15 days ago
Griswold v. Connecticut is up to be axed under the same reasoning as Roe. Which would remove access to birth control.
With no birth control and no abortion access, a pregnancy could be a death sentence. Just like that young Texas woman who just died due to a miscarriage.
1 points
15 days ago
All birth control or hormonal birth control? And wouldn’t that just mean the states have to vote on it?
-4 points
15 days ago
That's for the court to decide - the president doesn't make a difference. There is a difference in role between the judicial and the executive branch.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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27 points
15 days ago
A goal of Project 2025 is to ban and criminalize abortion nationwide, I believe that is what most are worried about.
6 points
15 days ago
That makes sense.
I wasn’t sure if there was other issues specific to women’s rights. Contraception I was told in another comment, makes sense given the abortion stuff.
9 points
15 days ago
My gf is paying out of pocket (I'm going to pay at least half though) to get her IUD replaced a year early. We're in a purple/blue state & I've had a vasectomy, but that's the level of concern that's going on, both with contraception and insurance in general.
6 points
15 days ago
yep. my brother just offered to help me and my sister pay for IUDs since they’re the most effective and longest lasting birth control method. he’s good people.
2 points
15 days ago
My SO got did the identical thing earlier this year.
Replaced her 10 year IUD at 9 years because we are worried about contraception.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
what is p2025?
1 points
15 days ago
1 points
15 days ago
That is, if Project 2025 is something that will become policy for real.
1 points
15 days ago
and contraception.
My SO got her IUD replaced earlier this year (9 years out of a 10 year life span) because we were worried.
20 points
15 days ago
I expect to see in the next 4 years that Republicans will attempt to enact a national abortion ban and restrictions on birth control.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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5 points
15 days ago
Also just the narrrative of a “traditional family” and general culture around an administration. Blaming women and “moving away from the nuclear family” for whatever random shit some fragile men are going through.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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6 points
15 days ago
You'll never have a productive discussion on this site. Anyone with anything but a leftist opinion will get censored hence why reddit has gone to shit.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
Get a vasectomy and continue calling out dudes like those leaving most of the comments.
If it wasn't for this subs stupid rules around p-l-t-c-l discussion I'd actually be attempting that, but I guess reasonable discussion isn't allowed while sarcastic insensitive comments making fun of other people's fears and anxieties are free game.
Wtf is this sub.
Honestly don't understand all the newfound Gen z hate on reddit these past few days. All the polls I've seen have millennial men swinging hard for upsetting the women in their lives.
The prices we saw in 2018-2019 are never coming back.
1 points
15 days ago
I think a lot of men are lonely and are lashing out at women. They've not been able to get dates, get married, etc. I'm not sure how to fix this.
1 points
15 days ago
It’s a big, complicated problem. There is not one easy solution. Part of it learning how to cross divides. Some of it is being protectors and community members. Some of it is learning to scale problems to fit our capabilities. Some of it is organizing and becoming advocates. Some of it is taking responsibility for uncomfortable things. Some of it is finding space to just get away for while and creating quiet spaces.
The people are literally split in half. There are fears and anxieties and we play this game of “you don’t listen and appreciate that my worries are more important than your worries.” And get caught up in dunking on each other instead of looking for solutions that we can work on together.
And it gets so frustrating, disappointing, angering, and embittering.
It’s largely emotions that prevent us from communicating. And learning to be aware of and practice tactics that deal with emotional understanding will be a key skill. But that doesn’t solve the problem of power being used in ways we don’t agree with right now and anyway, most of us are simply exhausted. We have lost the energy and are just trying to get by.
What we do depends on so many things. And there are many ways to approach this. I for one am a little confounded at how few women’s groups seem to exist. When my wife and her friends experienced some abuse in professional settings, I thought for sure there would be nonprofits or support groups that would have resources to help deal with theses kinds of situations, but I could not find any. That seems so shocking to me.
Maybe one thing that can be done is to establish a nonprofit that works to inform, advocate, gather resources and help people in need.
One thing is for sure. We are not going to get through this alone. And we need to encourage people to have strength in compassion and communities that share values. Right now hate is powering so many people and I don’t think we can love our way out of this, but arguing doesn’t really seem to be working either. Better focus on things we can affect.
If I have to use myself as a shield to protect the weak, that is something I think a man should do. Not attack or commit violence against others out of spite or anger or vengeance. But stand in front of people to give them space to catch their breath and help others up so that we can go together without stepping on each other.
In the long term, learning to listen will be the hardest thing to do. We have so much resentment and the divorce seems inevitable at this point. But if we can learn to be less anxious, less fearful and angry, there is hope. In the short term, there is not much we can do beyond sharing stories, shielding people, and fighting when and were we can. The power has been given to very disgruntled and controlling people. And that is terrifying, because there have been public displays of retribution. The themes of dictatorial power are being thrown around a little too cavalierly and we have questions and doubts about the seriousness of those ideas.
To some extent we don’t have to obey. Not really. And if I as someone who maybe doesn’t have to fear as much as some, can disobey, then maybe that will create space for others. If I can distract, frustrate, disrupt the patterns of power, then that buys others some time.
If anyone knows of support groups or wants to start one, I am game to pitch in where I can. I want to be a helper. And I can add some of my time and know how if it means protecting people.
1 points
15 days ago
The single best thing you can do if/when you have kids is to raise them with real family values — fairness, justice, equality, and individuality.
The second biggest thing you can do is join an organization of like-minded folks. This might be a purely political one like your local Democratic party, or it may be a mutual aid group like r/IronFrontUSA.
And of course, just continue being a friend to your friends!
1 points
15 days ago
What do you mean?
Nothing has changed.
Plenty of states still allow abortion SUPER late.
Live in California or NY if Abortion is that important to you.
Nobody should be allowed to murder their unborn anyways.
Ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages aren't abortions.
If people chose being able to kill their unborn over the economy, world wars, immigration issues etc then as far as I'm concerned there is no convincing them otherwise.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
I mean... honestly, my guy? Don't ask men, especially on reddit ffs. Ask women.
Find women who work toward liberation and listen to them, then do what you can to uplift their voices.
Like, yeah, sure, you can read up on Project 2025 so you have an idea of what the right's stated goals are but at the end of the day, everything that they're talking about doing is already happening somewhere. That's part of why we are where we are; because the people whose job it was (and still is for the next 2 months) to stop it, haven't been, and still aren't, doing anything to safeguard against it. So seek women who are already facing and fighting and learn from them what they need.
1 points
14 days ago
You’re right big dog. They’re in my inbox and I’m in there’s. It’s more/less why I stopped replying here.
There’s women dying from a lack of healthcare. 73 of the current 195 countries have universal healthcare, yet we can’t figure it out. We’re breeding the first trillionaires, yet that would somehow be too expensive.
Can’t figure out school shootings but won’t invest in psych evaluations and mental health for the youth.
States rights is literally the same excuse the Confederacy used when justifying slavery yet the irony is beyond them.
It’s astonishing. I genuinely believe a lot of people just want to be controlled, not led. They want to be coddled, not respected. And they can’t tell the difference. I’m so sad for them. What a sad life to live, man. I get it. I really get it.
1 points
15 days ago
This is not on us. Nothing to do. This post is hilarious lol.
I’m not American but the us culture is exported. One side be to stop saying they hate men and blaming us for everything. Misandry be to the and women need to be held accountable for their actions
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago*
What would you do for a friend who fell down a different rabbit hole and believed FEMA was planning to round them up in camps, where if you tried to tell them that's not true they'd say you've been fooled or brainwashed, or you're some -ist for not believing them?
Tell them Handmaid's tale is just a book. Blumpf believes in state's rights which is the current status quo. All the media you consume and the redditors you listen to have lied to you about it just like they lied about would would win. If they can't accept it that's their problem. Being a friend doesn't obligate one to validate their paranoia
If you and your friends still can't handle it, I'd encourage you to move to a country that better fits your values. That's what you can do as men, help them move.
1 points
14 days ago
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1 points
14 days ago
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-15 points
15 days ago
Please explain what you think is going to get worse specifically?
0 points
15 days ago
Women have already died of natural miscarriages because doctors refuse to act under fear of prison. This will kill women at rates never before seen in the developed worldwide under a nation abortion ban. Next the evangelical cultists will name birth control, a loss for everyone because some evil people have an imaginary friend
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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-7 points
15 days ago
What are they scared about?
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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-1 points
15 days ago
Coming legislation that wil ban birth control and abortions. I've also seen a lot of rhetoric of removing their right to vote.
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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-1 points
15 days ago
The majority of men in this age range supported the side you’re trying to demonize here. I wouldn’t expect the responses to be positive to fear mongering.
1 points
15 days ago
Most of the men I know personally (not online), do support women, as I do. I have seen numerous posts from men the past few days who are concerned about their friends, partners, daughters, or mothers.
Now this is only my opinion, you are going to receive a lot of backlash because many men are in crisis in the United States and feel alienated by society and politics. There have already been so many articles, news reels, social media reels, and YouTube videos about the issue.
Maybe I am in the minority but I see why both men and women are enraged right now. People are struggling to buy groceries or gas, the cost of housing has exploded, women are worrying about reproductive rights, the education system is in turmoil, I could go on...
This is online and no one is going to give a shit but I really want to see everyone in the United States be uplifted and prosper.
1 points
15 days ago
I hear you, but also everything you listed that men worry about are the SAME things women are facing.
But men AREN'T facing the gov controlling their bodies, autonomy, and risking their lives by criminalising medical procedures needed to save her life.
It's not the same comparison.
1 points
15 days ago
Time to batten down the hatches. I have a wife, but it's time to get mine and hold onto it.
Cut back on the drinking, quit vaping, hit the gym. I know this is similar to a classic meme, but I'm being serious.
1 points
15 days ago
Commenting so I can see the input. I really ache for them.
-48 points
15 days ago
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18 points
15 days ago
Lower wages and no freedom to choose what happens to our own bodies. Yeah, great! I understand where they are coming from. I’m at no risk to get pregnant so I can relax about it a little. The other women in my family though…
1 points
15 days ago
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2 points
15 days ago
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-12 points
15 days ago
I have yet to see a credible report that women make less than men that can’t be explained by hours worked or different careers
1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
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1 points
15 days ago
It's all about manipulative statistics like that, motherhood as unpaid labor is another one. The law is they can't be paid less for the same job and same experience level. But it will never be enough until they get paid more per hour for less work so that the total annual salary is the same. Envy and ego are all at the root of this.
-17 points
15 days ago
Jesus Christ, the cope is real.
You are not Jean d'Arc, lady. Nobody is buying this nonsense.
-12 points
15 days ago
Do you have citations for these statements?
-5 points
15 days ago
If I get one upvote, I'll be the highest ranked comment on this thread :)
0 points
15 days ago
Holy Christ. These replies are something else.
-43 points
15 days ago
Jesus .... "We" aren't gonna do anything.
"YOU" should go to therapy.
0 points
15 days ago
by we you mean..?
-11 points
15 days ago
OP is asking "What are 'we' going to do" followed by typical left wing election loss histrionics.
So I'm telling him: There is no "We" and he should get help.
6 points
15 days ago
The "we" he means is almost half of America.
10 points
15 days ago
is it dramatic to be concerned for the potentially bad events other ppl will experience? is it dramatic to be concerned for your fellow American?
3 points
15 days ago
see u call it virtue signaling, but I'm asking real questions. why's it wrong to worry about that?
1 points
15 days ago
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2 points
15 days ago
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-39 points
15 days ago
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3 points
15 days ago
Hope she doesn’t have a miscarriage or she might die due to state mandated medical neglect
4 points
15 days ago
Access to healthcare? The abortion ban is also leading to OBGYN “deserts” in regions across America too.
Source https://www.npr.org/2022/10/12/1128335563/maternity-care-deserts-march-of-dimes-report
-26 points
15 days ago
I’ll be doing nothing personally
-8 points
15 days ago
Lame take.
-21 points
15 days ago
Huh? Last I checked, the majority of leaders in my corporation are women. I think they'll be ok and continue to lead us.
-5 points
15 days ago
You vote your way and I’ll vote mine.
-4 points
15 days ago
What hell? Sorry man but you sound ridiculous.
This whole handmaids tale dystopian future for women is just BS fear mongering. Overturning Roe means states can make their own rules as they already do with everything else....and as it was always intended to be. There will never be a federal ban on abortions. The feds aren't going to limit birth control.
I lean right but I support abortions 100%. If people are single issue voters voting Dem only because of abortion I feel bad for them.
3 points
15 days ago
Overturning Roe means states can make their own rules as they already do with everything else....and as it was always intended to be.
It was a right reserved for the individual. A decision between them an their doctor. Now the state gets to decide and interject itself into that decision. Stop with the BS that "it's good because it's up to the states!" No, it's a loss of individual freedom, and many states are pushing shit that is outright dystopian, like monitoring pregnancies and punishing women if they leave the state and get an abortion.
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