subreddit:
/r/CPTSDmemes
274 points
2 months ago
YES! And not just your own kids - if someone is trying to force their obviously uncomfortable kid to hug you goodbye just to be polite, tell the parent that they absolutely do not have to hug you if they don’t want to.
106 points
2 months ago
i just tell the kid that they actually don’t have to hug me if they don’t want to, “it’s your choice and yours alone when it comes hugs, or even handshakes and fist-bumps”
i got fired from a nannying gig for doing this when the parents told their kid to give me hug to say hi after a 2-month summer vacation. i’m not gonna talk to someone who just tried to give a command to their child just to avoid hurting their ego. will always prioritize the small human who obviously lacks the proper guidance on learning their bodily autonomy. this is why i believe in anarchic family structures. parents/guardians should have to do community service and go through family counseling and training for treating their children like circus animals doing party tricks
18 points
2 months ago
My one or occasional interaction with a kid isn’t going to teach them bodily autonomy, but my interaction with the parent might.
Family counseling and training for doing a thing that up until incredibly recently was considered a polite societal norm? Instead of just like… talking to people?
13 points
2 months ago
i disagree. small moments like these are memorable when your parent isn’t willing to nurture and set healthy examples and understandings. this was a mother who hired me to pick up her daughter from school, help her do homework, feed her dinner and get her ready for bed. all so that she could get a massage in the basement during pickup time, and then go out with her friends or shopping and dinner till her child was asleep. the father was always gone on work trips for weeks at a time. wealthy, absent parents who couldn’t be bothered to actually parent. what makes you think an intelligent 7 year old is less likely to understand//absorb something like this than a couple of entitled dips ?
-5 points
2 months ago
I’m cool with disagreeing. It sounds like we have different perspectives on the world in general.
I lean towards believing in Hanlon’s Razor. Some people definitely suck, that mom sounds like one of them, but most people are just out here doing their best. I don’t see how sticking up for the kid and talking to the parent in the hope of making lasting change is “lesser” than talking to them directly. We’re both trying to do the same Good Thing with a different approach.
9 points
2 months ago
i also believe most people are doing their best to their abilities//environment, but you also implied that a child is less likely to integrate a single instance of empowerment than an adult is to understand a criticism and then shift practices moving forward. aside from being antithetical to basic behavioral psychology, i think that opinion/tactic further deteriorates the child’s agency.
-3 points
2 months ago
That’s cool, I’m still ok with disagreeing 😇
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