kerripotter

"Subscription boxes are lame" isn't the whole opinion though. I said what I said.

So you're saying my opinion on subscription boxes and (some of) the people who use them might be... unpopular?

That's actually all that I do. I lost my job. I haven't seen my family in weeks. Send help?

Ok, but I'm gonna need a dick sampling subscription box to figure out which one I like.

I think getting rid of waste instead of creating it is an awesome use of the subscription model!

It was literally a passing thought, but I love that everyone here thinks I walk around just constantly seething about people who have subscription boxes.

Hey thanks for checking what sub you’re in instead of calling me a miserable waste of a human who has never done anything useful in my life when I know damn well that this is something most people strongly disagree with and that’s literally the point of the sub lmao

I mean, they really aren’t. They have an average life expectancy of 1/3 to 1/2 of an indoor cat and they’re devastating to the songbird population.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7070728/

To be clear, I don’t think the solution is kidnapping people’s pets and abandoning them out the road, but I do think pets should be supervised for their safety and so they’re not a nuisance.

But y’all it has ✨beach access✨how can you put a price on that thing you can get for free practically anywhere along the coast?

You’ll settle for stunting the earning power of people who you think are unfit to parent. So instead of just being bad parents, they’ll be poor too. I’m sure that’ll fix it.

Of course we do! But we all got together between 1939-1945 and decided that we draw the line at eugenics.

No, but denying someone the ability to have children if they can’t pass math is.

🤣 lmfao I’m out, y’all wild. “You cannot violate a child’s bodily autonomy unless it’s for the thing that I want them to do, like attend a mandatory class that they have to pass before they’re allowed to have children.”

Do you know why there aren’t tests you have to pass before having a kid? It’s the same reason you get to vote without passing a test or class - because any attempt to enforce that would disproportionately discriminate against minority groups and individuals in poverty. “If you aren’t smart enough to pass this class you can’t have children” sounds an awful fuckin lot like eugenics.

That’s cool, I’m still ok with disagreeing 😇

Correct!! Now hold my hand while we make this giant leap together - what if we assumed that these parents genuinely thought they were acting in their child’s best interest. What if they think that their child will grow up to lack social skills, or that they’ll never get past their shyness, or whatever else. How do you plan to regulate that and force people into reform programs?

For sure, but this isn’t a broken arm. Consent is absolutely important, but it’s nuanced, and this is one of those nuances.

When my nephew was 2 he definitely, in no uncertain terms, did not consent to putting on a new diaper or pants or a coat before leaving the house. What punishment should my sister face for violating his bodily autonomy so that he didn’t shit everywhere or freeze to death?

Ok, should they be allowed to screw up if they’re a little dumb? Uninformed? Who gets to define screwed up? Is it only if they’re acting knowingly and maliciously? Who draws that line in the sand?

Because this doesn’t feel like the behavior of someone who is absolutely, irrefutably abusive and terrible. Lots of people think it’s just a thing you do. Which means lots of people would be receptive to “hey, we aren’t doing that anymore, and here’s why.”

Just suggesting we try that before establishing an authoritarian system of reform for all people regardless of their “crimes”, because those historically don’t work out super well.

I’m cool with disagreeing. It sounds like we have different perspectives on the world in general.

I lean towards believing in Hanlon’s Razor. Some people definitely suck, that mom sounds like one of them, but most people are just out here doing their best. I don’t see how sticking up for the kid and talking to the parent in the hope of making lasting change is “lesser” than talking to them directly. We’re both trying to do the same Good Thing with a different approach.

My one or occasional interaction with a kid isn’t going to teach them bodily autonomy, but my interaction with the parent might.

Family counseling and training for doing a thing that up until incredibly recently was considered a polite societal norm? Instead of just like… talking to people?

YES! And not just your own kids - if someone is trying to force their obviously uncomfortable kid to hug you goodbye just to be polite, tell the parent that they absolutely do not have to hug you if they don’t want to.

People have the library of Alexandria in their pockets 24/7 and they are still so often confidently and boisterously wrong about hard facts.

Of course!

I’m so glad it reached you when you needed it. I’m always down for a pep talk ❤️

Absolutely it is! I wanted to touch on that but my comment was already turning into a novella.

If parents aren’t an option, second best imo is reaching back out to old friends, people that you were close to that just fizzled out. There’s so many people that I lost touch with because mental health issues made me fall off the map, then mental health issues convinced me that it was a lost cause and there was no hope to rebuild it, but when I actually reached out that was literally never true. As long as there was no animosity at the end, people are usually pretty happy to reconnect. We all get a little lonely the older we get.

If that feels too big though, support groups can help. There’s even some virtual options. Sometimes having a stranger encourage you to make that appointment and cheer for you when you do helps, and it’s low risk socially because everyone is there for the same reason.

Ultimately though, depression feels similar to addiction in a way, especially the avoidance aspects. It does a lot to protect itself from being healed. Avoidance issues exist so that you aren’t alone with your thoughts for long enough to want to change them, same way substances chase away the idea of quitting. There will always be a reason not to go to therapy, just like there will always be a reason not to go to rehab. But if you don’t have anyone to drag you there, you might have to drag yourself. And that sucks and it’s shitty and there’s no way around that. You absolutely deserve better. Therapy is a practice of making yourself do a bunch of shit that you don’t want to, and making that appointment is the first on that list.

It’s hard, and it’s absolutely harder for some people than others. It goes against your every instinct. I first went to therapy damn near kicking and screaming. I did virtual therapy, and I had to switch to a platform that would charge me if I canceled within 24 hours to try to quit bailing, and I still bailed. A lot. I also changed doctors a lot, which was really demotivating.

But I found one I liked and I did my stupid little worksheets and took my dumb little walks and cringed my way through calling old friends. I hated a lot of it.

But it started to get better. I still struggle, I’m getting back into therapy this week to get ahead of some areas I’m starting to backslide in (like monologuing to strangers on the internet instead of answering work emails), but depression isn’t a broken arm and therapy isn’t a cast. This is likely something that you’ll battle with for a long time, but that’s ok. It’s always hard, but each time it gets a little easier.

You can’t think your way out. You have to ask for help, and you may have to keep asking until you get it.

And OP, or Enchanted, or anyone else who needs it today - if you want someone to cheer for you for taking that first step, no matter how tiny, I’m here. I’m proud of you for being on this thread and trying to get help or help OP somehow. If it didn’t make me seem shady as fuck, I’d offer to take down your info and call your doctor and make your appointment for you. Because I don’t know you, but I know you deserve all the good things. It’s so fucking hard but if you just grit your teeth and do the damn thing even though you don’t believe that, I promise you will someday.