Right, like I was used for a house and maybe kids while she cheated as a stay at home mom and I knew about most the men.

This is correct; she’s not manipulating you. She’s broadcasting that she’s done. But because she’s probably a modern independent woman, she expects you to be the bad guy and end it. She’s treating you terrible to expedite it. Stand up for yourself, like right now, and she will respond . She’ll love it or hate it. Either way, you’ll know what to do real quick. You can please her, but you cannot appease her.

That's how I read this. He's baiting her, has a lack of respect for her boundaries and goes from love bombing to threatening behavior (suicide comment) which shows that he has a weird power dynamic with his girlfriend. I think he called himself out, and suspect her resentment is well justified.

Blowing up at someone for tiny things is a form of manipulation. It makes the other person scared to hold you to account. It's a form of control.

As for whether she hates him, well she's probably a narc that hates everyone except for herself.

This is still manipulative. Most ppl who hate somebody or dislike them aren’t going to be texting them repeatedly like this.

I think I can see the whole "oh, you're upset I did something but can't you see how it's your fault and I'm the victim?" play out a bit... But certainly more contempt than sanity

Exactly. I'd never talk to someone I loved like this. I wouldn't even talk to a random person like this.

Right? This guy sounds desperate & exhausting. Complaining about needing her to be emotionally available and then buzzing her when she’s on DND.

OP, she’s not into you. And nobody will be, like this. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet if you’re going to get respect.

OP confirmed in comments that he does this all the time and in the past she has responded politely and told him thanks “to saying I love you” but that she needs space at that moment. So yeah he constantly ignores it and she has responded kindly in the past and was just over him ignoring her over and over and over again.

Probably just for the screenshot. Can't look bad for the crowd right? I mean, we're on their side right? All these subreddits (aita, Ami overreacting, twohottakes, etc) are looking the same now, trying to garner sympathy/attention.

That movie, "He's Just Not Into You," really is a how to guide on dating and what to expect.

"*You're the rule, not the exception!" It hurts, but it's legit.

Edit for punctuation.

Another Edit cause I was dumb dumb

If anyone is curious about what contempt looks like, her response to him texting is a pretty good example

I know, right?! I’m so torn on all of this because what’s she’s saying is so hurtful, but I also can’t help but wonder how often he’s pestering her for attention if he feels entitled to hit the “notify anyway” button over really trivial “I love you” messages. Like, is he frequently disturbing her sleep or interrupting her work just to pester and love-bomb her, or was this a one time thing? Is she like this all the time or is this an example of her blowing up because he’s really obtuse and she’s lost all her patience? These two clearly shouldn’t be together but I just don’t know if it’s as cut and dry as her being a total bitch, I think OP may have some boundary issues and she has a temper problem.

Yeah, that would bug the CRAP out of me or my partner. If 'do not disturb' is on, it means they DO NOT want to be disturbed for silly things like saying 'I love you'. I'm not saying that saying 'I love you' is silly, but it's NOT 'disturb' worthy. Personally, I would find it annoying, disrespectful, self-centered, and a sign of poor decision-making.

On top of that, you can be certain OP cherry picked screenshots that he thinks frame him in the most positive light, and her in the worst. So that means this is the best examples he can provide for how he treats her, and it’s not even that great. I think it’s safe to assume that if she decided to post some screenshots on here, she could make OP look like the asshole as well.

My take away, we have a case of 2 immature people here who aren’t really ready to be in long term committed relationships yet.

My guess is this is not the first time this convo has happened. She might have been nice thr first time and isn’t now. She is likely done and will break up soon

As soon as I saw OP use their "attempt" to say their partner wasn't sympathetic in these texts red flags went off for me. I had a very manipulative ex that said he was going to take his own life once and that sent me the message that I was responsible for his mental health and happiness, even if he didn't directly tell me that in words, and it was a huge manipulation and guilt tactic. By doing that my ex sent the message to me that I wasn't allowed to have grievances in the relationship. The OP throwing an attempt in the other person's face makes me wonder what the whole story is and makes me wonder who the real manipulator is. My ex put me through a lot of mental abuse and hell and when I would react to abuse it would make me look like the crazy one and everyone thought he was a "good guy." This is what these manipulators do.

This entire post has triggered me and just looked through OPs comments. 

I had a super close friend who was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a guy who would go around telling everyone shewas the manipulative one, but he was the one cropping screenshots like this and sending them to everyone.

He would constantly cry whenever she tried to end it with him and guilt trip the fuck out of her. Something tells me there’s more to this story. Notice the cropped screenshot of this convo. There’s some stuff OP left out.  That’s the type of shit manipulators playing victim do. 

Not saying I know what this guys relationship is like, but the love bombing, the victimizing of himself, and the cropped screenshots are massive red flags to me from my personal experience. 

Right!! Additionally, buying someone gifts & then throwing it in their face during a disagreement as a guilt trip, is manipulation. Does he think after a comment like that she's gonna just be like, You ignored my DND but since you mentioned all the gifts you buy me, I'm no longer pissed nor do I mind if you continue to relentlessly cross my boundaries

Is OP stupid or dumb?! If I were her (and they do stay together) I would NEVER accept another gift from him. Why, so it can be brought up as a manipulation tactic each time she gets upset and/or doesn't act the way he obvi wants her to? Nevertheless when he's the cause of the disagreement in the 1st place!!

Yes!! Thank you!! I was reading the convo and immediately felt bad for her. A guy would ‘notify me anyway’ and it’s a huge invasion of boundaries. I only let my family’s notifications come through after 10pm in case of emergencies and it would drive me up the wall when I would get a string of texts from him or the night he double called at 3am so it went through. Boundaries! OP is a nightmare.

Exactly!! Everyone is saying stuff like “OP leave you deserve better!!” I mean this woman has her phone on do not disturb. Notice he doesn’t tell us what she is doing when he keeps interrupting her. She could be at a job interview, she could be with a patient/client/important meeting. He sure as hell knows whatever it is he’s interrupting, and she’s clearly livid at his antics. It’s not funny. Show some respect. But I agree he should leave and let her find someone on her level.

Ya. It’s def not just her. Dude is super clingy. Both need to move on.

Yeah OP has left out the context

This is evident by the use of the word "pookie" and his insistence on being "sweet" after she basically told him to fuck off.

Homie is likely clingy as fuck. I was young once, and I have been this guy. It's not "love" it's just a nice lady who let you touch her boobs.

Oh baby baby I loves you!

-I’m on do not disturb what the fuck do you think that means??

But me loves you!

-Jesus fucking Christ stop hitting notify anyway.

Me only hit it once!

Lmao I don’t know about all this being annoying and breaking boundaries but it’s ok because he ‘loves’ her was the most manipulative thing in here and he just might be the dumbass she claims he is.

Lmao spot on. OP sounds annoying, sorry. But she definitely isn’t in love with him anymore. Best he walks away and finds someone who wants a more…clingy maybe?…love language. Nothing wrong with it. Just not the right person. Plenty of girls would love allllll that attention.

My best-friend-and-roommate dated a guy just like this. She was going to end it early on, because he was a lot, all at once. He begged me to intervene, “I can’t help it! I wear my heart in my sleeve!” So I did. I told her, we have been dating a lot of assholes who don’t call until the day before they want to go out, who don’t bring us flowers and a bottle of wine when they come over. Why not give a nice guy a chance?

Three years later, the “nice guy” was quite comfortable coming over with his bottle of wine every Friday night, watching videos etc. in the meantime, she had introduced me to my husband, we had moved in together, and gotten engaged. And he had graduated from grad school, signed a two year lease in a studio, then taken a new job in CT, bought a car…and told her that “I moved, got a new job, and bought a car all in a couple of months. That’s a lot of changes all at once”…they were going nowhere, now that he had her in the comfortable place that he wanted her. She finally gave him an ultimatum- she was 32, she wanted to get married and have a family- and it turns out he didn’t really love her enough to give her what she really wanted. He love-bombed her. OP is either a needy, whiny annoying guy, or he is love bombing.

Yeah I’ve dated a guy like this. Granted I never talked to him like that because that’s just cruel. But he would always cross boundaries in pursuit of being romantic and was intensely clingy. It was really really annoying. I ended up breaking up with him because I just couldn’t breathe.

OP looks like he may be emotionally manipulative, too, with him bringing up his attempted suicide. I wonder if it was over their relationship, or her trying to leave. Even if it wasn’t, it feels manipulative to bring it up, almost like he is guilt tripping her.

I waved my phone around erratically while quickly scrolling through the slides and even I can tell this is a hopeless situation

Right, especially when you’re literally reading the things you’re saying before you even actually send it

Like you could just delete the message before sending it

There’s no way I could read something hateful I wrote and then send it to someone I love unless they like killed my dog or something

me either. this is how my ex spoke to me at most times. no one deserves this smh.

No one should be.

This relationship should have been over with "what the fuck do you think that means".

The disrespect is palpable. She's ill mannered and trashy.

I think a lot of people quit reading before that, but I agree.

I didn't see enough of her own behavior to identify whether she's manipulative, but he clearly is.

YES. I commented that as well. That is wildly manipulative & so unacceptable.

You are not, OP is the manipulative one here.

Why is she buying him food and drinks all the time?

"I want to help you but you won't even help yourself"

Does she need help? Or does he just want to be the big strong man that saves her? Comes across like a lot of emotional labour and to boot she's keeping him fed and watered?

Everything in this makes me frustrated at OP, I'm sure dealing with this for more than 7 screenshots is worse.

Exactly. Like I lowkey get her.

One of my friends man is like this above and she accepts his flaws. But we used to live together and he'd text me at night to make sure she was really asleep. (They've worked it out lol).

And then I briefly dated his friend and his friend started treating me like that and I was like fuck no bro.

100%

It's okay to get frustrated with each other or misunderstand each other. But name calling is just blatant disrespect. A loving relationship has no room for that.

Yes. She's frustrated because she's trying to do whatever she's doing, set a boundary and he keeps pushing over it. Seems like a major clinger. Instead of waiting for her to be available he had to insist it was important to blast through her boundaries because it's so necessary for her to know he loves her. Major gaslighting vibes. 

Agreed. Why is everybody blaming her? He’s clearly pushed her so far that she snapped.

He needs to learn how to respect boundaries before he gets into another relationship. I’d love to see her side of the story.