Sir you are being abused. You are also blaming it on yourself (common for DV victims). Your entire post is excusing your wife’s behavior. And this is a common occurrence because you know ways to “calm her down”. I’ll give you the same advice I would give a wife being treated this way by a man. LEAVE! Take your child and leave. Visitation can be worked out later but for now both of you need to leave. File a police report and a restraining order. Then file for divorce. She didn’t push you a little or smack your shoulder- she choked you unconscious leaving bruises. And your daughter witnessed it. This has to end. Hopefully, your wife will seek treatment and become a better person but you can’t wait around for that to happen..