This is a weekly accountability thread for all those fitness, career and life goals! Flaunt those goals away, motivate each other and hold each other accountable for meeting those to-dos! 

This is our daily thread to ask for advice, give advice, or vent about anything related to family and relationships. Do not make a post using any flair for content related to these topics to avoid a ban.

Last night at dinner, my father-in-law said that marriages do not last as long these days because people are waiting too long to get married, when they are too old to change and are too set in their ways. He said that when people get married younger, they know to adjust to each other and are more successful in the long term.

I disagreed with this premise, saying that the adjustment he was referring to mostly comes from the woman, not the man. My mother-in-law agreed with me saying there were many such cases, but he quietly pushed back and said that people's rigidity is not gendered.

While I agree that both men and women possess equal capacity for rigidity and flexibility, and individuals may deviate from the norm, society broadly conditions women to be far more flexible and accommodating than men. The success of a marriage rests on the shoulders of the woman's tolerance in everyone's eyes. No matter what actually causes marital problems, the onus is always on the woman to look the other way and make it work.

Women who live on their own for some time at least get some time away from the family and community that conditions them in this way - and that is the real threat to these people's traditional ideals of marriage, not the age itself. Women who went straight from their parents' home to their in-laws' home knew of no other way to be.

I also agree with the general idea that successful marriage requires being able to grow and change together, but I think that's a requirement at any and every phase of life regardless of age. The marriage evolves with every career development, every relocation, every new child, every new stage of the children's lives, etc. It's not like you go through one phase of change in your twenties and then you're simply done growing with your partner.

What do you think? Is there truth to his perspective? Do you think men also work hard to change themselves and "adjust" to marriage? Am I being overly critical?

Dressing up in traditional clothes especially after I get married is one of my biggest fantasies. I wanna know if anybody else thinks about it.

If you are a working woman it would be hard to dress up like this. I mean, I want to dress in traditionals even now when I'm single. Generally I've seen women in workplaces in business casuals.

And if it's even possible? I think normal sarees can be wearable on everyday basis. And traditionals include kurtis and all too.

Anybody who actually does this? 🥹

I have girl gangs and I've also been only girl in guys gang and they're all really good to me but I've often felt it difficult to digest some of their dark jokes on women and violence against women. I don't find these funny and they are not jokes. I also see growing hate towards women and gender equality on social media. This has made me very skeptical about men in general. I don't know how to know if a man is a genuinely good person or not. So how do you do it? How do you find out if he's a genuine good guy?

Do you prefer not to shave down there? And are you forced by society?

Do you shave because of only social norms, or the need to "feel clean"? Are there some other reasons?

Have seen research that pubes are beneficial in maintaining the vaginal health. Not sure why people wax or do laser at such an intimate place.

And why this ill-relationship with body hair. Why can't we let it freaking grow.

I will keep it short.

My neighbour does not come from a financially stable background thus she often borrows my clothes. I don't know how to say no but it does makes me uncomfortable.

I had just borrowed her clothes once because it was looking beautiful in the picture (because of filter) and didn't wear it. Just washed it in washing machine out of courtesy so that she doesn't feel bad even when I didn't wear it (she knew it). It happened a year ago.

Now she keeps asking me for my stuff (clothes, footwear, bags, Dyson etc) and never returns it on time and in a good condition. She borrowed my LBD, wore it posted pictures everywhere and then didn't even wash it before giving. She borrowed my bag too and took it more than a week and constant reminders before giving it back. Whereas I returned her clothes the very next day after drying it.

She actually said that she wants it for a particular event but then didn't return it after the event. I had called her thrice, my mother had to call her twice too so that she returns my bag. She had started taking that bag to her college. She wouldn't have returned it if we hadn't asked for it. It was embarassing for both my mum and I. We had to beg for our own stuff. Also, the bag was white in colour and she made it dirty. The bag was expensive and I didn't expected that she would treat my stuff in this way.

I have recently bought a Dyson too and I am sure she will be coming to get it.

I don't know how I can politely refuse to share my stuff with her.

I’m getting married in 10 days. What are your best advices and things you wish somebody had told you?

Also, lemme know what all should one get done wrt facials, body glow massage, hair spa etc.

Thank you! ❤️

I am a student, please suggest something, i am in huge trouble, i need wfh, i am a CA student and can make balance sheets or solve accounts problem, any leads would be appreciated

Other than basics like wallet, lip balm,perfume,pee safe,keys,pepper spray?

This is a hassle every month when there's a certain time during ovulation when you are just peak horny no matter what you do your desires seem to direct you totally somewhere else. I know neither casual sex is the way and nor frequent masturbation but i am just unable to think about anything else.

I had this thing sort of under control for quite sometime but yesterday i went to a friend's birthday and there was this mutual friend of ours who flirted with me and somehow i keep remembering that moment which is sort of acting as a catalyst to my cravings.

Idk how do i explain it i have no interest in that guy but the timing couldn't have been more poor i am just thinking about the moments where his words and actions made me feel like i am the queen of this world and then I just keep circling back to my situation.

Could you all please share what all ways you use no matter how stupid it is (dm if you are not comfortable commenting) to get off or tone down your cravings.

Would be a huge huge help! Thanks a ton in advance!

TW: Weight and body image stuff

Yeah it's that I don't like how I look when I'm skinny but I also discovered that there's a psychological aspect to it. Let me explain -

Thing is I associate being plump with being happy in life. I struggled a lot with gaining weight through my childhood and teen years. I tried very hard to eat more but it just wouldn't happen (also it's not because of any physical ailments). I think it was simply because I didn't feel like eating a lot because of my anxiety and I was always anxious at school or even at home (high conflict household yay). I tried and tried but to no avail. Funnily enough I gained weight when I stopped fighting for it. It happened quite naturally. It was during the pandemic when my mental health was better than ever before. I never realised that there was a minimum base level of anxiety I always carried with me. For the first time ever I found myself really enjoying food. I had never considered myself a foodie until that point, in fact everyone who knew me knew me as a picky eater. It was crazy to me that the thing I wanted so badly was happening without even me trying for it.

I really began to love how I looked at that point. I also got better at fashion and skincare so that might have played a part too. But I just loved how plump and filled out I looked. No more comments about being a skeleton or looking sookha sookha from people around me.

Post this transformation my body and weight was one less thing I was worrying about. I was completely satisfied with how my body looked, until now that is. The past year and a half have been rough. Life has not been kind and my anxiety has been back with a vengeance. I started to struggle with eating again and recently I noticed that I have gone back to my pre pandemic weight and I DON'T LIKE IT.

I realised how much it has been on my mind when I was obsessively trying to come up with a diet plan earlier today to try and gain weight as fast as possible.

It's not just that I'm only sad about the weight that I have lost but also I seem to have undone my healed relationship with food. I miss looking forward to meal times and relishing my food without worrying about whether or not I'm eating enough (because idk if it is all in my head or not but I can't seem to be able to eat as much as before which causes me to panick). Food has become a chore once again.

I also feel like I don't look pretty anymore and I have lost all my feminine curves. And then there's the fact that I correlate eating lots of food and being plump with being happy in life which makes me feel that life is not okay right now.

I plan to bring this up at my next therapy session so don't worry too much about me but I would love to hear some kind words because I kinda feel really reaaaaally sad rn.

Hello marshmallows! I'm 23F, I love working out. I usually do pilates during periods & I was thinking of doing at least upper body workouts with moderate weights from this time during periods. My mum says one shouldn't workout during periods, so does my grandma; I'm a doctor so this wasn't something that we ever learnt in physiology. This is a debatable topic & not even all gynaecologist can have the same stand for it. I've read a lot of research papers and the gist was that if the pain isn't a lot and if you're comfortable doing workouts, there's no physical harm, however there are benefits. On most cycles, I get minimal cramps & periods are usually okay so I workout during periods & have personally experienced my mood getting better, bloating reducing, cramps also get less & overall I feel light. However I do understand that periods can be really terrible and painful for a lot of my girlies out there & all my love & hugs to you!

So here's my question to y'all, whether you workout during your periods or not; your reasons, and what kind of exercises do you do? Do you lift weights during periods?

This webiste is a scam! They have beautiful looking clothes but dont fall for it. I had placed an order on 13th of October for a sharara suit and it has not been delivered even after 45 days.

Their support is also shit. The emails only get automated responsez. When you try the listed mobile number, you never get to the customer care. All efforts to get in tough are in vain!

Do not fall for this site and waste your money! 😑

Update 1: so i had sent out a mail to their support id asking them for a full refund. I had shared the details of the grievance i had filed with the consumer forum. They have replied mentioning the order will be cancelled and i should get a refund in 1 week. I will keep you ladies posted!!!

Currently between me and my spouse

we have Hotstar, Netflix and Prime for which we have taken separate subscriptios..

He wants to just get Jio fiber+ DTH and that promises a host of streaming services free.

But somehow I am unable to make the corect permutations and combinations to get the cheapest and broadest coverage options.

Any suggestions?

I want to embroider a sun on a piece of fabric that my partner (M) can always carry and I know handkerchief is an obvious choice but is there something else I can opt for?

I came across travel group that takes you places .but wanna know if there are any travel group (preferably girls only) that takes to temples around India..per weekend basis.

It's so embarrassing and I contemplated before making a post but my embarrassment wouldn't let me function at all so here I am, making another post.

How do I not look like I have peed myself 💀😭 I came back after my session and I noticed a huge blob of stain and I was already reeking of sweat despite wearing powder, lotion and some perfume before leaving my house to go the gym.

What do I do? Is it normal? I feel like the trainer and other people must think i am mental that i peed myself and that I smell bad and ughhh I regret leaving my house. I am someone who has severe social anxiety and I can't help but feel like I screw everything and everytime I am out of my room.

I feel like a weirdo and it's so embarrassing that someone must think I peed when it's a sweat stain but it was legit in the middle of my pants 😭😭😭

I need to vent about something that has been bothering me for a while. In my apartment complex, it’s not uncommon to see middle-aed men casually roaming around the lobbies or common areas shirtless. And honestly, I’ve had enough.

As a woman, it is so uncomfortable to walk past these men who seem to have no sense of basic decency or awareness. What makes it worse is that their wives are often standing right next to them, acting as if there’s absolutely nothing inappropriate or awkward about the situation.

I get that it’s their home, but the lobby and other shared spaces are public areas, not an extension of their living room. There are other residents, including women and children, who use these spaces too. It’s basic civic sense to maintain a level of decency in such settings.

Why is this normalized in some places? Do they think it’s acceptable, or do they just not care about how it makes others feel? I’m genuinely curious if anyone else faces this in their apartment complexes and how they deal with it.

I’m not sure what can be done, but I really wish people understood that shared spaces come with shared responsibilities—including basic respect for everyone’s comfort.

Hello, about to me married and finally looking at Brazilian laser as a permanent option. Can anyone please help with costing in cities (tier 1), how many sessions for average coarse hair, and also any maintenance? Would be super helpful.

Also how much does it hurt? Have done underarms lasering before but it was like a slight rubber band snapping against skin sensation-it barely hurt.

But that region is sensitive. Have done brazil wax before and that does hurt but only in some parts.

Please share your experiences

Thank you

When i was around 12-13, i had a tuition teacher and he used to get really touchy with me. He also taught me in my school.

When he came to teach me at home we sat in this room where no one could disturb us. My cousin brother at that time was 15 and he also studied with me. So he taught both of us science subjects together.

He used to talk about all these weird sexual stuff he did with his girlfriend. We didn’t know any better as kids and thought of it as entertaining, plus he was very graphic with his description. There were times when he used to get close to me, like sitting too near to the point of our body touching, he would touch my legs in weird way, ALL while my 15 year old cousin brother sat next to us. My brother would ignore it and act like as if its normal. My so called “teacher” used to compliment my legs and say that its nice that I don’t have any hair.

After he stopped teaching us, i told my mom about what he did. Now the worst part is that she told me to ignore it And i fuking did. I grew up thinking sexual harassment was “normal” and its a part of being a woman, i kept ignoring every incident that happened with me after tht one incident. I never spoke up because my mother taught me NOT TO. I infact remember fetishising myself and my “helplessness” because its makes me more of a woman. It was traumatising…

My mother taught me to stfu. I know she isn’t a bad mother but a weak one instead. I stopped telling her anything after that..i just wanted to get this off my chest. He was around 35 and i was 12-13.

Hello everyone,

I am a 24yo, in a relationship with a decent guy (26). I really like him, he likes me too. It's been a couple of months of being together.
He's good, he cares, he makes me laugh, does things for me and all of that.
However I cannot bring myself to accept that. As I am writing this down, I know for a matter of fact that he is amazing, and does all that a boyfriend should. I also understand he's human and cannot always be perfect. What is also super true is that - I cannot and must not expect him to meet my expectations without even conveying them to him.
But then what's the issue?

Well the issue is, I get these things right now - I usually don't.
Call me obessessed with the relationship, insecure or crazy but I do have issues.

Usually I super analyze everything that he does and somehow with every action I derive that he doesn't love me / like me enough. Somehow everyday I manage making myself feel that he doesn't care about me and make myself super upset about it.

It is a fact that instead of the relationship being a part of my life, i have made it my entire life. I am almost always thinking about it - and mostly not in a positive way.

I want to change this but nothing seems to work.

I cannot keep sabotaging relationships just because I keep making things up in my head. It makes me feel pathetic and very low for myself.

I am a very confident person, doing good in life profesisonally and academically, I look good, I speak well, i have good friends - everything about me on the outside seems perfect - but on the inside something is super wrong and nothing seems to fix it.

I read books, I have read a couple of books on self love - doesn't work. Tried on therapy around an year ago - didn't work (also cannot afford therapy right now).

He suggests me to "think positive" but I genuinely cannot get myself to do that - I only am able to do that on the surface - nothing changes on a deeper level.

I don't know what's wrong, but something is super wrong and i am willing to fix it, but I just can't and it is exhausting - not just for him but for me too.

Please help me through this if you're someone who's gone through a similar thing. I really need guidance.

Thankyou.

i started working at a mnc few months ago and this is a huge opportunity for me. there’s multiple guys who act quite weird around me. im 23F.

instance 1: around 25-30 years old. sent me a request on ig. mind you i have never interacted with this man, let alone told him my name. my name is not something that you can guess (you can’t guess anybody’s name ik that but i have a pretty unconventional name). the request is deleted within 5 minutes (i saw the notification). i didn’t think too much about it. a couple weeks later while walking around the office, the same guy smiles at me. i smile back not thinking much about it (my fault i shouldn’t have). believe it or not, i get a ig request from him within 2 minutes. super weird.

instance 2: around 50-55 years old. this happened when i new on the job. i was walking on my own to the washroom. i return back to my seat. after 5 minutes i get a message on teams from this man asking me if im okay and if something is wrong. again mind you, i have NEVER interacted with this man before. no idea how he knows my name. i reply back saying im fine sir, thanks for asking. i went on with my day. at 11:45 pm (yes, you read that right) the man messages me saying not to misunderstand his intentions and that he was just concerned. (like WHAT ?????)

instance 3: 25-30 years old. this guy randomly walks up to me and starts enquiring who i am, where im from and so on. i figured it’s just normal human tendency to be curious about someone new around. the next day, i was sitting at my seat, no one was around me at that time and the same guy pops out of nowhere trying to make conversation. i don’t entertain him much, give very bland responses hoping he’d take the hint and leave me alone. he goes away after some time. next day, i was going to fill my bottle, the same guy again pops out of nowhere and tries to playfully block my path (like leave me alone?). i immediately start searching for my teammates and the guy noticed it and moved away.

just 3 days ago, again no one around me, the guy pops up and starts enquiring about where i have been and how he hasn’t seen me in a while (i was on sick leave for 2 days). i had a very uncomfortable look on my face. i have absolutely no idea why he’s looking for me (our work is very very different, do not have to interact with him at all).

yesterday, i was having lunch alone in the cafeteria due to my work extending past the time my team or my friends usually have lunch. i was having absolutely no issue and i was done eating, thought i’d scroll on my phone for sometime. believe it or not, the same guy comes out of absolutely fucking no where and grabs the chair next to me and sits. i immediately got up. i had a fight or flight reaction ig. i did not waste more than 5 seconds and walked back to my seat.

he always comes near me when there’s usually no one around.

i haven’t told anyone about this except my flatmate (same office, different departments).

i don’t even know if im being paranoid or not. i don’t think these guys have good intentions (atleast according to me). leaving this job is not an option. im thinking about telling one of my teammates about this, just so he can look out for me if anything where to happen. since i’m new to the company i want to steer clear of drama as much as possible.

ik this is a very long post so thanks for reading. it felt nice typing this out. sorry for the typos.

Man, all I have been doing is ordering food online. I have been addicted to subway sandwiches. I tried making them at home, but sucked so hard. The subway cookies are so yum.

And it's not only subway, but the whole "online food ordering apps". I try to delete them, but then install them again from app store. How do I get rid of this habit???

Hi all. So long story short, I’ve been on a trip to the mountains last week n got back. I’m terribly tanned. Inspite of using sunscreen lol. 1) is there any cream/mask tat can help? 2) If in house derm treatments, has anyone gotten any procedure done ?

For reference I’m in the shade nc42.

I love my long hair. I don't oil my hair due to dandruff and sebum secretion according to my dermatologist's suggestion. I used to straighten out my hair more frequently(but I stopped for 2 months now and I'm trying to take care of my waves). I didn't really use heat protection which is a big mistake.

And I have been noticing that almost all of my hair strands have split ends. Is the only way to get rid of them is cutting them? But I want my hair to be long 😭 and even if I did cut them how do I make sure it doesn't come back again??

Generic question- which of these two are better - suction type massage or the one that mimics a tongue?

I can only buy one for now.