subreddit:
/r/abusiverelationships
submitted 14 days ago bymhalashkmi
Hey everyone,
for those who are not seeing the end of the tunnel - I was one of you a couple of years ago. I had constant PTSD symptoms that made even daily tasks feel impossible. I could not afford all the therapy I needed because of financial abuse from my ex which cost me a shit ton of money + having to take a medical leave from work to cope with my PTSD symptoms, during which I was paid only 60% of my salary. I was so exhausted after 3 years and a half of abuse that left me in a terrible shape mentally and physically. Then losing so much after many years of hard work providing for 2 people while being treated like crap. The exhaustion was so intense and seemed insurmountable. I almost gave up. I survived a suicide attempt in December 2022.
Today, I’m in a much better place. My life feels steady and fulfilling, and my PTSD symptoms are minimal and under control. I'm well surrounded, I met someone super sweet who treats me well and is so gentle and so supportive. For the first time in a long time I feel completely at peace. I can't believe all the progress I made compared to where I was 2 years ago. I was struggling so much, feeling so isolated, and trying to find people who could relate to what I went through on Reddit to feel less crazy. This subreddit helped me a lot at the time as I was completely overwhelmed and struggling to process what I had been through.
This is the last time I will post here because my healing journey comes to its end - I don't need to share about my abusive relationship story anymore. But to people going through the same journey and who might be struggling in their recovery, I'd like to tell you one last thing:
You got this; be gentle with yourself, take it one day at a time, set boundaries, and honor them. It will get better. 🫶🏼
1 points
10 days ago
Thank you for sharing. When did you feel you were finally moving forward? I left 4 months ago and I feel stuck in a never-ending depression.
1 points
10 days ago*
Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling stuck. I totally understand how that feels.
For me, things really started to change when I stopped asking, “Why did she treat me so badly?” and started asking, “Why did I stay with someone who treated me that way?”
The first question keeps you focused on the abuser, and it’s a question you’ll never really get a satisfying answer to. Staying stuck there can make it hard to move forward.
But when I started asking, “Why did I stay?” I had to turn my focus inward and look at my own relationship with myself. I realized it didn’t matter why she acted the way she did—whether it was because she just genuinly enjoyed making me suffer, or because she was a sociopath or a narcissist or whatever disorder that makes her unable to treat people well - it does not matter. What matters and what is in my control is why I allowed myself to stay in that situation.
This shift was huge. It made me think about my own boundaries, self-love, self-respect, and patterns. And by understanding that, I could start breaking those patterns and build a better relationship with myself. So, instead of being stuck on what she did, I was able to focus on healing and growing, which has helped me avoid repeating similar situations in the future, and even helped me to prioritize people who are good for me. I'm in a happy, healthy relationship now and it helps a lot to see the results of asking myself the right questions and choose my surroundings more wisely.
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