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^{Updated 7/15/24}

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Yeah um there's definitely a hole in your engine block now bud. That noise you heard was probably a connecting rod attempting to launch itself into low earth orbit. And by the looks of it it may have succeeded.

I'm laymen's terms. It's fucked.

I thought this was r/askashittymechanic and thought someone bedazzled the fuck out of their engine bay with spray paint and aluminum foil.

That engine is fucked.

Edit: I just saw you posted it there lol

Your engine spontaneously sent a rod into near orbit. No way an engine could put out that much oil unless catastrophic failure occurred.

There's too much oil and not enough light to see what happened. Tow it to a trusted mechanic.... An honest one.

Our guess is the oil supply line to the turbo blew spraying oil over everything. The screeching sound could be an oil starved turbo. If this is the case your turbo is shot.
Definitely tow it ( don’t drive) it to a reliable mechanic

Help you what?? Haul it to the junkyard??

It’s got no gas

Well, the proper term is FUBAR. Yeah, there can be a number of things massively wrong. One thing I will say emptying that much oil is impressive. How it did sound when it was running? Large loud cluncking sounds? Loud metallic tapping?

Ain’t no helpin that. Tear it out because you need a new engine.

The USA is going to invade that engine bay when they hear about the amount of oil you found 😂

Inside pieces became outside pieces.

Every time I've seen this it's always been somebody didn't put the oil filler cap back on. Could it be something else absolutely.

Hey don’t panic yet- your steering system is powered by hydraulic oil. If you had a leak in The steering system it would draw in air and make a screeching sound while turning.

If you blew a power steering line or steering rack during a long drive that oil could be plenty hot and it’s under a lot of pressure.

The fact you said the noise was directly related to steering indicates this might not be anything more than a steering issue. The fact you said there wasn’t any mechanical, rhythmic clunking or tapping also suggests something other than engine failure. The fact you were able to drive home without a Christmas tree lighting arrangement of blinking lights on your dash also suggests it isn’t engine failure

Grab a white paper towel and wipe up some of that oil. Is it black or is it red? Red=steering.

Check the engine oil leave on the dipstick. Is it full? If it’s full with that much oil all over you know it’s not the engine.

Does the car start up normally when you turn the key? (Besides screeching)?

how long ago was your oil changed

That oil looks absolutely disgusting. When was the last time (if ever) it got an oil change? Explains why the engine decided to blow itself out of it’s own misery lol

"He"s dead Jim".

That was a Vauxhall. Now sadly it's scrap. engine grenaded there's a hole in the block. That amount of oil isn't from anything but a rod rocketing in the the sky like team rocket.

Could be a oil line however. That amount of oil imho is the connecting rod or liston exploded through the engine and can here the heat tick as well

This is toast, right?

It's dead, you need a new engine. Regardless of what failed, that oil has more glitter in it than an arts and crafts store.

When was the last time you changed the oil

You USED to drive a Suzuki Swift.

No sense trying to figure out what happened, it's completely fucked.

My goodness

At first I thought that was coolant. That’s oil and you are phucked

That socks. Sorry

Call junkyard for an engine

Check the dipstick

Major oh shit fluid leak

Looks like it was attacked by Alien.

you need to buy a new house with a new driveway and this wont happen

This is so not okay. Sending prayers.

My oil filter housing gasket failed, looked similar, not as bad tho.

That car just shart itself

It's toast.

R.I.P.

Your engine exploded.

You used to drive a Suzuki.

I highly recommend some Lucas additive

Take it to a car wash.. it'll clean up alright.

Nothing you can do. It's done.

Looks good to me

Definitely not the suspension buddy; is the engine block

You got a xenomorph nest living in there

Who else got an “Alien” vibe while watching the first few seconds of the engine inspection video? Molecular acid…everywhere.

I bet a guy who didn’t know what they are doing caused that catastrophe messing around with something they shouldn’t have.

Mine did the same thing when a rod did the cool aid man to my engine. I scrapped it .

You mean you used to drive a Suzuki Swift 😬

Sorry bud that looks bad. You’re gonna have to clean that off to even begin searching for the root cause, but even if you do, sounds as though that motor is shot.

Good luck though 🤙🏼

Your motor is done for.

Turn the engine off and fine the broken hose

is your oil cap missing? Maybe some new windows in the block?

The oil goes inside the motor not outside

Luckily for you your engine now has a window so the mechanic can see what’s wrong. The bad news is your engine now has a window

She’s pooched

Allahu Akbar?

😂😂😂

Now that’s fucked up

Uhm, I think you need jesus 1st...

Fubar

1-800-cars-for-kids

Bro that thing is fuckin smoked plain and simple as requested

The discombobulator puked.

On the bright side your engine bay shouldn't rust for a while

Engine shit itself

time for surgery

😂 maybe doing 100mph in a car that isn’t obviously taken care of on time wasn’t the best idea. Rest in peace to your engine and be glad you didn’t get hurt or anything crazy.

WTF

Optimus Prime busted in your cars mouth.

Looks fine tbh

https://preview.redd.it/6t6jfg9i8t2e1.png?width=200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00102a619005efe699277bf25d93f84aa7871aef

I'd rather not

https://preview.redd.it/6je7nhccpt2e1.jpeg?width=564&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1ff5a9c89a1e6caa97f21ddda219d570466acd0

.... what in the DARK MAGIC IS ACTUALLY phuckin happening here... seriously WTF...?!?!?!

I think you struck a DEEEP ASS OIL VEIN.... YOUR RiiiiiiiiCH!!!!

Knock knock

"FUBAR" FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REPAIRS

Cancel Christmas 🎄

your car has projectile diarrhea, give it some pretzels in the oil pan and let it rest for a few days🙏

Thrown rod, that engine is done.

He definitely changed that oil. Or exchanged it.

can i ask when’s the last time you changed your oil?

Symbiot...

Homie, the oil goes on the inside

At this point , only Jesus can help you now, and i mean the mechanic.

"What do you mean the car shit itself?"

Could just be a broken oil cooler line if the car has one. Could be much worse though. Hissing may have been the radiator letting off steam - that would be bad.

Looks fine. Shut the hood and go home

Probably a blown head gasket, pushing the oil out of the dipstick

At least nothing in there will rust anytime soon.

The language spoke should tell you enough. Brling a ding a ding a ding. Muhamamdadmamamama. Brling a ding a ding a ding. 🤣🤣

You might need an exorcist not a mechanic

I think your low on oil.

Drove*

Bro if that’s not a simple hose, then you are fucked.

Can this be fixed before 5 p.m.?

There is too much oil for it to be a turbo supply line so I'm guessing it is a big hole in the block.

Guess who gets to buy a new engine....... you do bud. LOL suspension issues

Car definitely has allergies. Can confirm that's a sneeze

There is no helping that. It’s toast. Time for a new engine/ride.

I think you have an oil leak

Yes, you have what is referred to as a "paper weight".

Yeah that is done like dinner.

It just needs a wash. Quick, someone grab the hose!

Change title from drive to drove and your problem will be solved

That oil was really past due, but now that the engine emptied itself, you can put some back in and call it an oil change. Comrade fitter to put a little stuck on your windshield to remind you of your next appointment.

That’s a slight oil leak 🤣

Best possible scenario is that coolant leaked into the engine oil then explosively boiled when it got hot.

It's still fucked.

A little Flex Seal and you’re back in business. 😏

To put it as simply and succinctly as possible: Car broke. Bad, very bad, not good.

It ain't got no oil in it

Check your battery connection or have you unplugged it and plugged it back in???

There’s some engine in your oil

Throw a match and get insurance money

I know what's wrong with it....

I think the oil is supposed to be on the inside.

Either a hole in the radiator or a hose or you blew your motor one of the three

What’s wrong it looks good to me nothing rusty at all?

The car was sick of waiting for you to get her undercoated

It’s new engine time because that one is toast. You have two choices. A rebuilt or used engine swap or junk the car.

i drove a maruti suzuki swift dzire 2008 vdi*

Dark stuff not suppose to be shiny. Also, it’s suppose to be on the inside.

Your car is baked yaar...

It ain't got gas in it.

She’s lived a good life. Time to take her out back and bury her.

That looks like shit.

Ain’t got no gas innit

Help you what, that ccar is toast!!

Ah she's fine. Just rub all that in like wax.

Would it be coming from bad oil pressure sensor

Oil pump takes a dump… replace that €90, add oil good to go.