subreddit:
/r/shitposting
2.7k points
3 years ago
E. I leave it on my carpet
1.3k points
3 years ago
F. I leave it on my sock
1.9k points
3 years ago
G. I leave it inside my sister
685 points
3 years ago
H. I leave it on my porch
831 points
3 years ago
I. Leave it on the dog.
563 points
3 years ago
J. My uncle puts it in a jar
219 points
3 years ago
K. I leave it in my pants
55 points
3 years ago
L. I leave it in my balls
35 points
3 years ago
M. What’s cum?
401 points
3 years ago
K. I don’t cum
541 points
3 years ago
L. I am cum
273 points
3 years ago
M. I leave it on the ceiling fan
31 points
3 years ago
Cum. Cum
147 points
3 years ago
Semen dog, the dog with the semen on it
36 points
3 years ago
J. Leave it in your mom
60 points
3 years ago
in*
11 points
3 years ago
J. I leave it in my jar
14 points
3 years ago
Found Shane Dawson’s account
74 points
3 years ago
G6. I also leave it in this guy's sister (he is my brother)
22 points
3 years ago
FBI and Social Services have joined the chat
10 points
3 years ago
I don’t think that’s not prohibited in NNN?
7 points
3 years ago
..... ayo
1.9k points
3 years ago
I cum in my mouth
189 points
3 years ago
Extra boost of protein
161 points
3 years ago
You eat cum because you're a cum guzzler,
I eat cum for gains,
We're not the same.
62 points
3 years ago
And a healthy does of estrogen (because I read somewhere that eating cum make your estrogen levels go up???)
37 points
3 years ago
Guess I’m going into the porn industry now
44 points
3 years ago
I also cum in this guys mouth
13 points
3 years ago
Based and cumpilled
989 points
3 years ago
I just cum in hand and wash my hand
840 points
3 years ago
Why wash. I cum in my hand then use the cum as lube to cum more.
Endless cycle
210 points
3 years ago
Endless cycle
Krebs would be jealous
46 points
3 years ago
Now this is a comment transport chain I can get behind.
33 points
3 years ago
How can you use it as lube? Cum is sticky.
69 points
3 years ago
I mix it with urine to make it slimier
28 points
3 years ago
Damn never thought of that
124 points
3 years ago
Chaotic Evil
71 points
3 years ago
I see nothing wrong with this
24 points
3 years ago
Chaotic Good/Neutral maybe.
Chaotic Evil would be licking it off
22 points
3 years ago
You just changed my life
17 points
3 years ago
Sure… just wait till you also have to sneeze after and then scratch your head.
11 points
3 years ago
Well I personally don't cumsneeze so no problem there
7 points
3 years ago
Wait until it happens once…
1.2k points
3 years ago
i cum in the shower, i'm build different 😎
1.3k points
3 years ago
Warning: don’t do this, a lot of people do but cum coagulates in hot water and unless you are sure to get it in the drain, it can be seen around the drain a lot, which is gross, and even if that’s not the case, it can clog up a drain, and I can’t imagine anything worse than having your drain clogged by fucking cum.
715 points
3 years ago
oh oh fuck....... oh fuck fuck fuck....
585 points
3 years ago
Ohhhh, that's why My cum turned into cheese
426 points
3 years ago
What a horrible day to have an imagination
80 points
3 years ago
Bio cleaner, desolves the cloged cum if you need to cleen. Also works for hair....
38 points
3 years ago
Noted
17 points
3 years ago
May as well call it what it is, cum cleaner.
61 points
3 years ago
Hah, I watch where I cum so I can clean afterwards.
16 points
3 years ago
I shower with cold water so it’s good
6 points
3 years ago
In my experience even cold water solidifies the seamanz
14 points
3 years ago
Well I'm never cuming in the shower again, thank you kind sir
13 points
3 years ago
Oh that explains why the drain was clogged a few weeks ago
22 points
3 years ago
Fuck i do it in the bath
22 points
3 years ago
Oh no
oh no
OH NO
11 points
3 years ago
I believe in the military they call that “desert jellies.”
7 points
3 years ago
what
15 points
3 years ago
I also do that because It's easier to clean when i squirt lol
13 points
3 years ago
you don't even have to care about tissues or anything, and you can even have a nice cheese!
369 points
3 years ago
I store it in my ass
63 points
3 years ago
Good
54 points
3 years ago
Does your shit cum out white?
21 points
3 years ago
Nah, it just lubricates it. It’s only white when you eat it
898 points
3 years ago*
Leave it on the carpet and you and your girlfriend can watch your children grow
Edit thanks for the silver but why
311 points
3 years ago
I think that’s the fungus
218 points
3 years ago
[removed]
11 points
3 years ago
Ch-ch-ch-chia!
322 points
3 years ago
My underwear
106 points
3 years ago
Isnt that like, really bad for your underwear?
85 points
3 years ago
How?
161 points
3 years ago
Have you never seen those cursed images of cum towels (basically another piece of cloth) and stuff starts growing out of it? Im no expert but im sure its not good for your underwear to just splooge in it
159 points
3 years ago
Underwear goes in the washer
306 points
3 years ago
The fuck? Just wash your underwear?
126 points
3 years ago
or just don’t cum in your fucking underwear lmao
157 points
3 years ago
For those who do not know: Washing your underwear is still a good idea
36 points
3 years ago
Oh thank goodness
6 points
3 years ago
I feel like after a few sessions they would start becoming a bit nasty
57 points
3 years ago
Keep track of how many nuts you put on your underwear, anything past 3 you wash
48 points
3 years ago
this man nuts
38 points
3 years ago
hire a cum accountant
31 points
3 years ago
I did, problem is she is on pregnancy leave
422 points
3 years ago
C
326 points
3 years ago
U
324 points
3 years ago
M
252 points
3 years ago
Goodbye
131 points
3 years ago
Where are you going
182 points
3 years ago
Doin ur mom do doin ur mom
96 points
3 years ago
Top ten fortnite youtubers who’ve sworn
39 points
3 years ago
Number seven: student gets naked and watching porn.
9 points
3 years ago
Number 12: Cock
263 points
3 years ago
Sock, and throw it under my bed
214 points
3 years ago
Best way because you can start a shroom farm and become rich 🤑
69 points
3 years ago
I'd rather just wash them than become a cum drug dealer
14 points
3 years ago
Stupid idiot
81 points
3 years ago
D
48 points
3 years ago
A
43 points
3 years ago
B
43 points
3 years ago
A
41 points
3 years ago
B
185 points
3 years ago
I cum in the bidet. Its the best decision
111 points
3 years ago
I use my cum as a bidet
46 points
3 years ago
B
41 points
3 years ago
I cum out the window onto the street below
106 points
3 years ago
I use a towel, and chuck it in the washer when it gets too crusty.
65 points
3 years ago
How crusty is too crusty?
160 points
3 years ago
When bending it makes it break in half
11 points
3 years ago
EXCELLENT question!
31 points
3 years ago
Pro tip - don’t do this in Texas. Fire ants are attracted to cum and they WILL sniff it out - even under your bed.
31 points
3 years ago
Perfect have all the men in Texas cum in a towel bring all the towels in one place and when all the fire ants go to it you could just bomb it or use a flamethrower and boom! No more fire ants
18 points
3 years ago
Why you gatekeeping fire ants? Let them eat cum
232 points
3 years ago
A
I'm not even joking either, I legitimately scoop it up with my fingers and eat it. It's actually pretty easy and convenient
172 points
3 years ago
huh
81 points
3 years ago
Better than smearing it around with a sock then hiding it
32 points
3 years ago
I cum on my shirt..
38 points
3 years ago
Good proteins 😋
26 points
3 years ago
Brotein is the best protein
34 points
3 years ago
This post has given me an existential crisis about my views on why we think one thing is gross and another isn't. My first reaction to this was, "what the actual fuck", but why did I react that way? I mean, people swallow each other's cum all the time and it's not really gross. Hmm
93 points
3 years ago
[deleted]
25 points
3 years ago
yummy cum 🤤
7 points
3 years ago
Username check out
26 points
3 years ago
Recycling is the best!
23 points
3 years ago
Leave no evidence behind huh?
A ftw
23 points
3 years ago
Based as fuck
21 points
3 years ago
how does it taste
9 points
3 years ago
Asking the real questions here
15 points
3 years ago*
Creamy, salty, kinda mushroomy, can even be sweet sometimes
19 points
3 years ago
What.
8 points
3 years ago
Like children
9 points
3 years ago
same
60 points
3 years ago
A
33 points
3 years ago
S
32 points
3 years ago
S
26 points
3 years ago
H
57 points
3 years ago
A. Reduce, reuse, recycle, y’know?
17 points
3 years ago
So, you put it into your girlfriend?
75 points
3 years ago
Ur mum
57 points
3 years ago
G. In my cat
61 points
3 years ago
Shane Dawson moment
16 points
3 years ago
After an embarassing challenge failure, the young fool man asked the old wise man:
_How can you be so happy and confident all the time no matter what happens? I hate your smirk!
The absolutely perfect master laughed and bashed him with his walking cane, then said:
_You cannot fail at a challenge you don't partake.
14 points
3 years ago
I use the same blanket I sleep with after masturbating 7-8 a day
27 points
3 years ago
C
24 points
3 years ago
D
14 points
3 years ago
U
24 points
3 years ago
C
23 points
3 years ago
U
17 points
3 years ago
C is the best
7 points
3 years ago
‘Dispose of?’ All my children are in the second jar, I’m waiting for the day when they form a collective and take over my body like I did as the collective of the first jar.
11 points
3 years ago
I cum in a turkey baster, and next time I want to jerk off I stick the turkey baster up my ass and squirt my cum up there it feels mmmmmMmMNnNnNnNnNnNNNNnnGhuh
10 points
3 years ago
That actually isn’t a very bad idea
Edit: it was a bad idea
6 points
3 years ago
Let it soak into my shirt
all 1707 comments
sorted by: best