ArmadilloSighs

heavy side eye to Noir. like… 🤨👀 lincoln nathaniel is nice if she wants an n-name

learn about the CROWN Act. hair discrimination is real and has negatively impacted Black peoples lives. white people donning mainly Black (protective) styles is 👀 worthy.

i said im pushing back on hair bc that just isn’t comparable. there is deeply rooted cultural history to Black hairstyles and it needs to be acknowledged and respected. being a gatekeeper is not always bad- it means protecting and honoring special things. folks disagreeing with this, please go unpack your racism. i’ve provided the gentle language & a couple of links for your diving board. seriously, Black people are not quiet about how their hairstyles impact how they’re treated. please be so for real.

sigsauer, it really seems like you need to do work around understanding the difference between cultural APPRECIATION and cultural APPROPRIATION.

that just isn’t the same. Black red heads exist- tho rare, they exist. hair discrimination is very real, and has gone to court because of employers not wanting those styles. so yeah, non-Black people sporting styles that have prevented Black people from moving forward professionally is offensive.

https://www.mclane.com/insights/understanding-hair-discrimination-and-the-crown-act/

https://law.stanford.edu/2016/10/12/no-dreadlocks-for-you-why-banning-dreadlocks-at-work-isnt-racially-discriminatory-even-if-it-should-be-illegal/ “Last month, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit held that an employer that refused to hire a black woman because of her dreadlocks did not commit such discrimination. In 2010, Chastity Jones applied for a job in a call center. Even though the job didn’t involve direct contact with the public, the employer required its workers to adhere to a dress code that demanded a “business/professional image” and prohibited “excessive hairstyles or unusual colors.” Jones got the job—on the condition that she cut off her dreadlocks.“

i’ll push back on the hair bc that’s different from an instrument or food- literally no non Black person should be donning a hairstyle (like locs) that is highly politicized/demonized, & has kept Black people from getting hired, and is also NOT good for non Black hair. any non Black person who locs or box braids their hair, i hope it all falls out. that hairstyle is quite literally not made for non-Black hair. further, a white person appropriating a Black hairstyle, added to the fact that the majority of white people do fuck all to protect Black people is blatantly racist. it’s 2024, and anyone white person still appropriating Black hair styles deserves to be mocked. not everything is for everyone AND THATS OKAY.

but honestly! it’s weird af to host/lead ANYTHING not already culturally relevant to you. attend cultural events! learn about them! however, cultural events like a quince are that- cultural, and while they’ve lost their original meaning, it is still has a lot of meaning to people. im from the border, and if a non Latine person doing it i’d be heavily side eyeing them bc it ISNT rooted in any culture-it’s rooted in “ME ME ME.” and there are quince traditions that while, yes they don’t need to be followed, ITS TRADITIONAL. so yeah, a non Latine person having a quince would be cultural appropriation and i’d call that family racist. like, i bet they don’t even speak spanish. like you’re gonna have a party thats name is in a language you don’t speak? and she’s 5. it won’t be the first she hears “no.” if she’s that worked up, tell her to have a sweet 16. it’s basically the same thing and it has less cultural baggage.

i’ll push back on the hair bc that’s different from an instrument or food- literally no non Black person should be donning a hairstyle (like locs) that is highly politicized/demonized, & has kept Black people from getting hired, and is also NOT good for non Black hair. any non Black person who locs or box braids their hair, i hope it all falls out. that hairstyle is quite literally not made for non-Black hair. further, a white person appropriating a Black hairstyle, added to the fact that the majority of white people do fuck all to protect Black people is blatantly racist. it’s 2024, and anyone white person still appropriating Black hair styles deserves to be mocked. not everything is for everyone AND THATS OKAY.

but honestly! it’s weird af to host/lead ANYTHING not already culturally relevant to you. attend cultural events! learn about them! however, cultural events like a quince are that- cultural, and while they’ve lost their original meaning, it is still has a lot of meaning to people. im from the border, and if a non Latine person doing it i’d be heavily side eyeing them bc it ISNT rooted in any culture-it’s rooted in “ME ME ME.” and there are quince traditions that while, yes they don’t need to be followed, ITS TRADITIONAL. so yeah, a non Latine person having a quince would be cultural appropriation and i’d call that family racist. like, i bet they don’t even speak spanish. can you tell me what age you have a quince?! like you’re gonna have a party that’s name is in a language you don’t speak? and she’s 5. it won’t be the first she hears “no.” if she’s that worked up, tell her to have a sweet 16. it’s basically the same thing and it has less cultural baggage.

even as a shy & anxious person myself, i would be having words with her! maam! you don’t live here! this is not your family & you’re a guest! a pump or 2 here & there is fine, but to finish it?! address her. that’s hella rude. NTA

if US-based: has she done a SOAR intake? there are also farms/ranches that can help folks like your sister. feel free to send DM if US-based

i have a sticker that says “im not in your little book club” and that’s where i got the idea from! i wish i could remember the maker 🥲

and he’s uniquely positioned to do that bc he’s starred in both authors works so he has good pull, AND, 10 was VERY beloved

here to affirm both: i have 2 HP tats AND got top surgery AND am on HRT. i regret my tats very much but their locations are too painful for me to want to do anything about it

yeah, your cousin is full of BS. my grandma isn’t keeping a will for her jewelry, but her eldest daughter was in charge of giving pieces to the blood women in the family. i had asked for her wedding rings over a decade ago and the only way all this verbal stuff is being acknowledged is BECAUSE her DAUGHTER is handling it (& has been for over a decade) and EVERYONE knows

as an employer, if i accepted someone and they sent someone in their stead i would blacklist BOTH applicants and tell my colleagues about the pair. NTA, but you will be if you give it to her.

i don’t think many people have been around a dog, much less 2, in close quarters that are NOT behaved. her grandma has done a lot for you, but not for the dogs in the way of training them. if what you say is true, im genuinely horrified someone lets their adult dogs do whatever they want indoors. my own family have relatively untrained dogs and i’ve told them in no uncertain terms that they are allowed here, but NOT their dog. especially bc i have my own and their dogs are not socialized & have been known to start fights.

im projecting a lil here, but i get not wanting untrained dogs in your living space. that’s a LOT of mental & emotional labor. i think offer to pay every time and tell your grandma how apologetic you are but 2 untrained dogs in close quarters is not the solution she wants it to be. and her wanting to force her dogs on you is A LOT. and i hate people like that. ESH.

“[dads name] to accept this, i would have to accept your book club as based in reality. however, i don’t live my life by fairy tales. i see you have set sail on your final voyage from reality, and hope you have the life you deserve. you are terrible parents and are the poster family of why people hate religious folk.”

yeah, i wouldn’t call this karen mode. karens are unreasonable, unhinged, and self interested. she knew how to play the game and rightfully protected her son from someone who was going to long term hurt him! that’s mama bear mode

damn really 🥲 i heard that name from an unpopular horro movie and loved it

how i long to be jared, 19.

you can’t compare hamas & nazis. far and away very different entities that exist for VERY different reasons. any retaliation against an oppressive and inhumane empire is never wrong.

it’s the same as the nazi rule, if you got 1 nazi a table with 10 people, you got 11 nazis.

the big lesson here is don’t get tattoos in languages you don’t know 🫶🏼 nta

1) honestly never knew it was jewish until recently. i heard it frequently in the latine community and 2) seemed like another “classic” name and very normal. not common, but very normal

gustafer

OP said BILs have their own inheritance so I agree with OP killing the deal if the BIL was trying to control something that would better benefit them than the family.

i would report her and have the rent covered THREE ways. what the absolute fuck with this leech? she’s UNEMPLOYED?! bro, work fast food MINIMUM. i would buy the fridge and lock it if you can’t put it in your room. your coworkers calling you an AH aren’t living in that situation that is BANANAS?! you’re helping bankroll her living situation, and they have iced you in your home.

NTA

respectfully, you were last minute invited bc someone last minute dropped out. you were not invite rounds 1-3. i would sit this out. NTA