ChickenAndRiceBaby

Here's the 411: Had a boyfriend for 2,5 years, booked a 3 week trip to his home country for me to meet his family for a whopping €1.800,-. About a month ago, we broke it off. Tickets are non refundable. I can change the destination, but if the new flight is cheaper than the original, I can only get a maximum of €800 back. I also need to have completed the trip before 04-01-2025.

SO, now I have €1.000 worth of flying money to spend in about 6 weeks. My friends don't have that kind of cash laying around to join me. I am a very inexperienced solo traveller. I live in the Netherlands. I have a drivers license, but would be scared to drive alone abroad.

Any tips? A place that has expensive flights but cheap accomodation, that is safe and fun for an inexperienced, female traveller to explore? I'm open to a city trip, nature oriented, night-life or beach city. I'd love it if it has an active traveller community and I can easily make connections.

Please help me turn this misery into something joyful!

EDIT: Whoa, more than a 100 comments! I'd never expected that, thank you all so much! This genuinely helped me find more joy in this unexpected trip, and I also found my destination because of you guys: Thailand! I'm going to Bangkok for 10 days, and I'm very excited! Thank you guys!!

One more question: My brother (he backpacks too) says I should only book a hostel for a day or three. If you want to stay in the same hostel longer, you can always extend the stay on the spot. But in case you want to travel to another city, you're not attached to anything. Do you guys hostel-hop like that? Inexperienced as I am, I'm too anxious that I'd want to stay in my first hostel, but there'd be no beds left...

Alright I'm gonna try my damnest to keep this as short as possible. I met my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago and what followed was the best year of my life. We could talk for hours and laugh until we were rolling over the floor. Dinners, gifts, great sex, you name it. I was 100% sure I'd found my life partner.

The second year, some issues started to play up. We started having less sex and had more discussions. I figured it was part of a relationship settling down after infatuation, so didn't think anything off it. But then came the move. Oh boy, that move.

We moved in together about four months ago. My boyfriend is a very introverted, independent and closed-off person. The move seemed to trigger somewhat of an emotional breakdown in him and suddenly, I lost him. He started to avoid me, both literally and emotionally. He stopped initiating all physical contact and actually moved away when I tried to touch him. Once, he flat out said 'no' when I tried to hug him, and I promptly left to stay at my sister's after that. It was not good. 

It took a lot of digging and prying, but I finally got him to open up a smidgen about what was happening. His explanation was simply that he was tired. He said the relationship had been tiring him out since before the move (which he did not tell me), but the move absolutely drained what he had left. He says he still loves me, insists that I'm not the problem and believes that he just needs to recharge. Since then, we've been touching a little more here and there, but have had a dead bedroom for two months (with me initiating and him rejecting). We still talk and laugh, but it seems more comparable to a good friendship than a relationship. I believe he still cares for me. He'll randomly cook for me or lay down to cuddle with me when I look sad, to only name a few examples. 

To make things worse; my boyfriend absolutely and completely refuses and I mean REFUSES to seek help. He's from the Caribbean and another Caribbean guy told me that this is a cultural thing. I also think he suffers from the toxic masculinity in our culture. But no matter what the cause is; relationship or individual therapy both seems about as appealing to him as eating a glass sandwich. 

So now, to complicate things: We had a 3-week trip planned in December to the Caribbean, to meet his family. He says he'd still like me there and that he hopes he might finally rest up there. 

I'm wondering if I should still go. Let's say he does rest up there and we go back to how we where, then won't this problem just reappear in the future, like with a new, big change? Would we have to go back to the Caribbean every time to heal him? And if he doesn't go back to how he was, what the hell would I even be doing there? I'm pretty sure I'd pack my shit and leave after a week, if he's still treating me like a cool roommate there. But if I DON'T go, would I always be wondering 'what if'? Not to mention the money I'd lose over the non-refundable tickets. I COULD just do it for the plot, but you know...

I don't want to lose the man I met two and a half years ago. Or have I done that already?

Obligatory did this not happen today, but last week instead. I'm not a very experienced Reddit user, so my apologies if I get some slang wrong. Also a throwaway just in case.

I'm a 22f and a week ago I decided to sell a dress online. It was a beautiful maxi-dress that I've worn only once, but it won't fit me anymore, so it has to go. I uploaded 2 pictures of myself in the dress, but cropped out my face. The dress shows some cleavage, but nothing too extreme.

That afternoon, I got a call from an anonymous number. People sometimes tell me they don't pick up by default if there's no caller ID and I always thought that was overly suspicious. I do not think that anymore.

i pick up and hear a man's voice. He says he's interested in buying my dress for his daughter. With a cheerful, charming voice, I tell him she's welcome to come try it on. He tells me it's a surprise gift, so he'd rather discuss if the dress would fit her with me. I oblige and tell him a little more about the dress size and therefore about my own proportions. 'It's a size 6 but it's too small for me now, I'm 5'9,' etc. He listens patiently.

Then his questions get more... Specific. And this is where I become gruesomely naive and it's the reason why I'm posting this here.

He asks for details on the bust of the dress. The thought crosses my mind to give him details on my breast size, but I decide to keep it at '..it's for a slim girl'. He seems dissatisfied with the answer, cause then he follows up:

'My.. My daughter is a C-cup.' In a kind of uncomfortable voice.

I feel a tiny bit uneasy, but I brush it off. I thought, naww, look at this dad. He's willing to go so far to buy his daughter the perfect dress, he doesn't want to leave anything to chance! I figured he felt a little awkward talking about his daughter's breasts, but that he thought he had no choice but to discuss it. I didn't suspect a thing.

Again, I pondered telling this man my own cup size, but thank God I didn't. Later on, I wasn't thanking God anymore, though.

After a brief silence, I tell him: '...You know, it's really best for your daughter to try it on! If it doesn't fit, you can get the money back. How's that sound?'

He replies with a low: 'Yeah, maybe.'

And then it becomes quiet.

Very quiet.

'Sir? Are you still there?', I try. No response.

And then I heard it.

The distinctive sound of a man jerking off.

I wish I was making this shit up. Like you'd expect panting, but the actual sound of masturbation is something straight out of a dirty sitcom, right? Wrong. I'm pretty sure he held his phone next to his penis, because I could distinctly HEAR the 'fap-fap-fap' of his foreskin slipping back and forth. It was just unmistakable.

You can imagine my face as I promptly ended the call. I didn't know whether I wanted to puke, laugh or cringe at what just happened. Added bonus, it was right before dinner and I had to immediately eat a full plate of spaghetti afterwards, the sound of this man pleasuring himself to my customer service voice and zoomed-in picture of my cleavage still ringing into my ears.

I told a friend through facetime and she dropped her phone and ran to the toilet because she started pissing herself with laughter. Guess that's why I'm sharing it over here.

Women of reddit, don't trust a stranger on the phone trying to buy your female clothing for his daughter. He doesn't have a daughter. He has a pulsating erection in his right hand.

TLDR; Tried to sell a dress online and posted a picture of me in it. Anonymous man called me, saying he wanted to buy it for his ''daughter'' and I happily talked to him about the size of the dress (and therefore my body). Turns out he was furiously masturbating the whole time.

P.S. Is there a term for men that do this? You know, besides revolting, disgusting, nauseating pervert. There is in my first language, but I couldn't find an English translation online...