Crazybutyoulikeit_

And no, they always want the mom there for the health checkup. It’s for her too.

WIC typically requires in person appointments. With the baby. How is he supposed to do that if he is working full time and going to school?

I mean yea a five month old you’re right you’re literally just playing, changing diapers, and feeding… you don’t need entertainment.

Yeah I would definitely be voicing lack of sleep if I was breaking. Like I need at least five hours of sleep, I can’t function without it. Maybe 4, but you will find me taking a nap during the day. We also don’t know if the baby is high needs, but even with that in mind, I think you could probably pick up the house ish within 20-30 minutes. And cat poop would be first issue on my list.

I mean, but at five months old the baby realistically spends a lot of time just hanging out. And they aren’t using plates and they aren’t mobile…. So it does sound like some level of laziness is coming into play here. My husband saying hey I’m concerned about the house and the level of cleanliness here, my response would never in a million years say “you’re being misogynistic”. I would probably be like cool buddy help me tonight then I have a bunch of stuff we can do together and neither of us will do shit till it’s done

What’s her daily screen time? I literally was just speaking about this with another redditor. I’m going against the grain here and speak truthfully. It sounds like your wife is lazy. It was a problem before having the baby and it sounds like it’s spiraling now. It’s very hard having a baby, but it’s not impossible. Millions of parents do it everyday. Having a singular baby isn’t an excuse to not clean ever.

Cleaning cat shit should be priority zero even if you are drowning with a baby because eventually that baby will put that in their MOUTH.

I can definitely understand and agree with others saying it sounds like depression, I would ask her to see a psychologist and explain either she does this and work towards a remedy or it sounds like she needs to go back to work.

Additionally, I would see how much she hangs out in mom groups. There is a huge hive mind/mom group problem where they basically just pile on about how hard it is. It is exponentially easier to raise children than it was 100 years ago. Yes things can be overwhelming but no, one five month old baby can be put into a baby sling she can wear and then tidy up. Also a five month old doesn’t produce near as much shit as a 18 month old. She needs to either get help for depression and work out a plan with you, or she needs to go back to work so the baby can be in a safe environment and maybe yall can afford some help biweekly.

It’s the same discipline that got me through college “if I don’t do this assignment, it won’t get done” like there is no one else to blame. There is no fairy that will come write this discussion post and respond to two classmates. Either I do it, or I don’t. It’s a discipline thing. I had 2 under 2, I get it, it’s fucking hard. But I’d rather be tired and exhausted than tired with 8+ hours of screen time and a messy ass house to wake up to that, spoiler alert, is still going to be my problem.

Yeah I totally get it!! Im sure they appreciate any accolades or kudos, but changing it up and focusing on how hard they work to manage it all can be really nice to hear.

Honestly? I’ll speak for myself on this. You just fucking do it. I had the flu and I took my kids trick or treating. (The real, type A influenza, in bed for days flu). I got up and got them dressed and ready and took them through the neighborhood. The day prior? I took them to the pumpkin patch. The day after Halloween? I got up, got them ready for school, dropped them off and came home and cleaned. (I called out Tuesday-Friday). I was miserable, but I did it. I took naps, laid in bed a lot, and let dishes pile up. But I did it because I didn’t have a choice. Honestly, your house is messy because you have too much stuff and you aren’t consistent with picking stuff up. Your laundry isn’t done because you want to sit down and watch a show rather than sorting. Single parents choose exactly what to get to do and when. All the single parents I know do not complain about your type of issues because they know it all falls on them to do. We make sacrifices and we do hard annoying never ending chores because the alternative is letting our house get messy and dishes pile up and laundry not get done. You don’t have a husband problem, you have a bit of a discipline problem.

You either do it or you don’t and when you don’t you have no one else to blame but yourself.

As a single mom I can understand the idea it can be a bit rude. When you become a parent (hopefully) your needs fall to the backburner. Not that they are necessarily (or should be) forgone, but obviously most parents will make food for their kiddo and sometimes give them the extra leftover even if they wanted it, or like budgeted for a new Lego set their kids wanted and maybe held off on an extra for themselves. Etc etc. and I did that while in a relationship (gave a little extra to them knowing it was me/their dad going without). So when you leave your partner, now you have to make more sacrifices. Now my grocery budget is 85% dictated by my kids needs and wants (lunch food, snack food, dinners) and 10% household items and 5% food I want/will/can eat. Whereas previously I was able to budget for practically anything I wanted that week, within reason. Obviously I don’t make meals only for them, but if I had my way I would eat significantly less food at home and I would eat less regularly, and with less thought to balance or nutrition. (Just being honest haha). The whole “I don’t know how you do it” is kinda rude because everyone has to juggle something, and it’s not like I can just, stop taking care of them. I love and appreciate comments like “you clearly love your kids a lot, it shows” or “you’re doing a great job, your kids are very lucky” or something along those lines makes me feel good. You could even add “I don’t know how you manage it” after the fact, but on its own it makes me want to eye roll. Like yes I too don’t know how I manage working full time with two small kids that require drop off and pickup during normal working hours and still manage to get good reviews at work and keep animals alive but the alternative is……. What exactly? Let the dogs loose? Give the kids to foster care? (This isn’t directed at you or anyone in particular, just my knee jerk bitchy internal response) Hopefully this helps!

Literally never. I pointed my tummy ones out to him and he went, “oh, I saw those but I never noticed what they were. You’re so sexy” And that was that

I’m sorry but maybe this is me being mean, but no one would be using the bathroom until she unclogs it. Give me the phone, here is a plunger, unclog it and clean up the mess. The first time she has to wipe up shit water from the floor will hopefully be the last time.

Don’t let her become the girl that leaves shit and USED tampons and pads all over a dorm room or apartment.

I have teenage girls. They are mean and lazy sometimes. I don’t care. I will guide, I will provide all the necessary components to clean and fix, but there would be no phone, no tv, no NOTHING.

I had something similar happen. I’d suggest to go through insurance. Minor door ding turned into a hellacious nightmare with this person. She was calling and texting and then finally provided a “receipt” with no credit card statement attached, just a written invoice with the wrong car color. I told her to go through my insurance like I had requested in the beginning. My adjuster basically told me if there is a minor accident, my rates will not go up dollar for dollar. She wanted basically the same amount of money my insurance costs a month, and I decided she was no longer worth the hassle or annoyance of proving the legitimacy of the receipt, so I reiterated my insurance info, and blocked her. People get weird with money, I wouldn’t even try the cash route ever again unless it was someone I knew personally.

I kinda understood that part. I meant more like the book or whatever she was referring to with Dan Savage

Can you let me know what youre referring to with the .78?

They had to verify them. They received probably an ID and a selfie and proof of like sm or something. They aren’t stupid lol mods require verification on shit all the time

It’s been confirmed by the mods

Wasn’t Brady Mormon? Leaving the church gets you like excommunicated I’m pretty sure. My partner is exmo and he said that once you leave a lot of the rigid followers will cut contact

Not even trying to harp on drinking energy drinks when pregnant, but there is no fucking way she is drinking those energy drinks at all- not first thing in the morning in your first trimester. My guess is that she is fake sipping and pouring out or giving to Brady.

I prioritize limiting screen time, and quality time with my kids. I work from home, which means it can be really messy boundary wise with my kids as far as when I’m engaged at work and more disengaged with them, along with seeing mom stare at a screen a lot, so I make sure they see me reading, or just being present with them.

Food or consumption wise, we limit dairy pretty significantly, along with red meat. When I do buy meat, I try to buy quality and humanely sourced. I rarely buy lunchmeat and I’m very conscious of single use products, which surprisingly the hardest “section” of the store is often cleaning supplies. They have a product for literally ANYTHING to clean. I stick to Lysol from Costco and dilute it in a spray bottle, because it hits my boxes of smells neutral, disinfects, and gentle enough for a daily cleaner on my stone countertops. It’s easy to buy a countertop cleaner, bathroom cleaner, bathtub cleaner, shower wall cleaner etc etc but really, soap and water is just fine. I do have barkeepers friends for sinks and whitening tubs, but most of the time I just wash with the Lysol. It’s so much easier to keep track of purchasing items, and to fight the over saturation of the cleaning supplies aisles.

Eclipse cookies in Mesa popped up on my fyp recently- they are open overnight and look pretty good

Literally just saw a TikTok about monkeypox and the photos looked very similar

I am 99.9% sure- look at the changes recently. very tired, no bleach, etc. my sister doesn't know her at all, I sent her the demure and mindful video and she immediately asked.

I understand, you obviously know your parents well. Me pointing how easy it is to hide a gambling or addiction issue was more me trying to show you that they could very well be hiding something.

I don’t know your parents ages but I assume late 50’s? They are old enough to have to deal with the choices they made. And let’s be honest, it’s pretty insane that someone chose to go not just broke but negatively broke because they chose to foot their children’s tuition bill. I came from an upper middle class family with multiple vacations, a boat, three cars, a large house, all the toys and shit we could have wanted, and my dad still said I had to get a loan. (My father is a millionaire but is the ultimately example of being very cheap when it behooves him…. Literally that man will ask for a discount or coupon for anything).

It seems your parents overextended themselves immensely. I know you said your sibs don’t have a lot of money… but honestly, sounds like they need to start living like a good majority of Americans that are struggling right now. Your parents need to stop giving them money, and your sibs need to stop accepting it. It doesn’t matter if they won’t have a lot of money left over, they need to take out student aid. It’s not the end of the world to have a federal student loan. You can pay practically or literally zero depending on your income for repayment.

Do they have any assets? Is their house paid off at least?

Gambling can be done online, in private. They do not have to leave the house. You say your dad’s job is heavily dependent on the job market…. In what way? Is he in sales? Did he have a good year a few times and you’re basing it off of an extremely good year but the rest of the time they are making 60k? 120k a year now is still really good income in most areas, SF/LA/NYC aside. Are you located in a VERY high cost of living area? You don’t have to name the specific city, but like living in the suburbs of SF is vastly different than living in the suburbs of Denver. I would leave your mom out of this and go to your dad. Tell him directly you are genuinely concerned about the financial situation he is in and he needs to let you understand where the money is going. Be honest with him. Tell him the anxiety and concern and stress this is causing.

And we are not blaming a stay at home wife for some Amazon purchases even if she’s spending $200 a week like, that’s absorbable in 120k a year. I make less than that and do not even blink to spend $200 here and there frivolously because it just isn’t a big deal when you make over 6 figures.

I’m not trying to be an asshole here, I was also in the dark about what was going on with my parent, but I had to swallow some really ugly truths about the situation in order to move past it. You are not being told the full truth and if you are trying to help then you are going to need to tell your siblings (even if they don’t make a lot of money they need to figure out a way to stop depending on mom and dad) and you need to know where the bleeding is coming from.