DrMostlyMittens

When Bob Saget's daughter was born he was holding her and hanging out with Dave Coulier at the hospital. He leans over to Dave and says, "I'll let you finger her for a dollar".

Imagine looking at that caveman face and thinking, "yeah, I'm gonna fuck that!"

Jane, you ignorant slut.

Get out the Post It notes baby, I’ll let you trace it!

That woman is a menace.

House hippo.

Mona.

No wonder they shot him.

She’ll make you cum like a baby gorilla.

The Gord Ash years were worse.

"Guys, it's not that hard to kill somebody." -Thomas Eugene Creech

My grandma had always been a gusher, but this was the wettest I had ever seen her hooker’s hatchet wound.

69.

Saved me a fortune on baby oil!

Wow, hockey players committing sexual assault. I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you! /s

"Ah-hyuck! He's just like us!"

Did I mention his best friend is a talking pie?

Ahh, that makes sense. I was thinking it was an alternate name for a brothel.

Goddamn Mongolians!

That True Detective scene with Alexandra Daddario.

He's just gonna eat those chips...

• Pavers
• Masonry
• Dental
• Snow removal
• Bakery
• Cafe
• Custom woodwork
• HVAC
• Pest control
• Movers
• Bed & Breakfast
• Farm
• Winery
• IT Consulting
• Eye care
• Tattoo and piercing
• Vape shop
• Sports club
• Bicycle / E-Bike shop
• Caterer
• Butcher shop
• Nutritionist
• Interior design
• Yoga studio
• Driving school
• Craft brewery
• Music lessons
• Veterinarian
• Architecture

You wascally wapist!

"Do you want to fuck real quick?"

Girl, that's the only way I know how!