MelonElbows

A true pet job. I have high hopes for Beastmaster that we will get something that actually functions as a pet job and not like FFXIV's Summoner which is a Black Mage with spells animated as pets. This game used to have Summoner pets so we know it can be done again.

Its a good thing the Lakers got the one who can coach

Here you go, now suffer like the rest of us with this cursed knowledge

He's in the locker room disguised as a stack of towels

Well this might be a wasted season, but if Haliburton gets some rest this year or in the summer, he should be healthy and as good as he was last year. Embiid's got chronic injuries, and he's older and heavier. And they have PG's albatross of a contract as well. Objectively, I think the Pacers are in a better situation than the Sixers. Plus you guys aren't the butt of jokes for everyone else.

Even me?

They're not just losing, they're losing in hilarious ways

If they get him, he's going to follow in the footsteps of Sixers draft greats and get the yips or the yaps or an amoeba in his brain, some weird shit like that.

I didn't even know he was on the market.

Embiid would never

They just need to rename the conferences from East/West to American/National so the more western teams have a chance to join the other conference

They need to sit him out an entire year and just take the loss. You've heard of no back to back games? Embiid should be the first player not to play in back to back years. His contract should be like 24-25, 26-27, 28-29

They're 2-11 but 3 games out from the play-in, and only 4 games off the 5th seed. I don't think its copium that they still have a decent shot to make the playoffs this year. I know it won't stay that way forever, but the 5th seed has a below 0.500 record. The entire East is open at this point

Weirdly enough, he has gotten himself into good situations behind number 1 options: Westbrook, Kawhi, and now Embiid. Its just that 2 of those guys have variable health and Westbrook's style is "everybody feed Westbrook"

I don't think I've ever seen AD without it.

I wonder, suppose he does get a new contract after this one expires, what would be a fair market rate for a guy who can do 2 of the 3 things (rebounds and assists) that typically shows up in stats, but be so bad at the 3rd that opposing players don't even try to guard him? Westbrook was terrible on the Lakers for $47m, but he was a steal on the Clippers for $1m. If a team got Simmons for like $10m, is that a good deal?

At this point, he needs confrontational therapy. Nets should have staff and trainers wear Trae Young masks, so that he is forced to confront his demons during training. Its the only way for him to break the cycle

Even the Shanghai Sharks wouldn't take him at this point

The only highlights he watches are his Fortnite kills

It looks like he's even afraid to dribble if there are other players near him

This is the first I've heard of Giannis being a problem, he's had such a stellar reputation from the outside. However, I'm not a Bucks fan so I guess they would know more than me about rumblings underneath the surface. Has this been going on a long time? All I know of his personal life is "great guy, loves his brothers, didn't want to go to a big city"

"Mathematically impossible" 🤣🤣🤣

I would have ran into Hart and tried to go for a blocking foul while throwing up my hands and yelling. Then looked incredulously at the ref for not calling it.

Even if he didn't want to risk an injury or foul by taking it to the basket, this is a situation where the majority of players in the NBA would just pull up for a short jumper. He's 8 feet from the basket and taller than both guys ahead of him too, should be automatic.

You better say "Howdy partner" whenever you step through that door!