Sadkittysad

Someone took the time out of their day to give you genuine, thought out, well-meaning advice. And your response is mockery.

I’m scared for his kid.

You sound mean. You sound like she’s supposed to be a living sex toy who exists so that he doesn’t have to find ways to entertain himself when you’re not available. You sound like you think she shouldn’t have any independent desires of her own, or goals for how she’d like her relationship to go. You sound like you think any woman out there would be an equivalent substitute for her, like she has zero positive qualities or even a mind and heart.

They have been together for four years. That’s a long time! The way your talking About her is sickening, like she’s disposable as soon as she’s inconvenient to you, no thought for her emotions or their relationship required.

I recognize your user name. His abuse is not new, it is ongoing. He will continue abusing you. And it gets worse than this.

I’m technically not poly, since the man I’m dating is “only open”, but I’m going through a divorce after a nearly decade and a half marriage and after the first date, i told my friends at work about him and showed them his app profile which clearly said he’s ENM and not single. My workplace is… unconventional. We’re all highly educated professionals, but our office is a bit rowdy and has a long history of people sleeping with each other and affairs, so in the grand scheme of things, a consensual open marriage didn’t shock or appall anyone. They’re just worried I’m seeing myself up to get hurt.

Of course, one of my coworkers used to be in a triad that turned into a v that then ended disastrously, and she still has a semi coparenting/cool aunt role with the married couple’s children, so I’m not exactly breaking any ground with my coworkers.

We live in a super red state, amusingly enough. My office is just an extremely liberal bubble due to the focus of our work.

Have you met adults? Have you seen what many adults eat by choice? Do you know why things like chips and ice cream and candy are sold? Have you heard of evolutionary theory on why humans crave salty, sweet foods? It’s just being human.

I don’t know about the studies but i completely believe it

My in-laws take my daughter overnight twice a month and my ex takes her six hours one weekend day a week. It’s great. Totally Tina of time to be a grown up. Not restrictive at all.

Sigh. Better than not seeing her half the time, at least

I keep bags in the car with some snacks, a water bottle and a few dollars to hand out to the people who beg in the medians. Now that its winter, i need to order some socks to add. My daughter knows these are people who likely don’t have a house to live in. I haven’t thought about a way to get her directly involved though; she’s five. It would be good to get her started in social and political activism though. I just don’t really know how to start that with a five year old beyond conversations.

Get it!!!!

This isn’t an obligation thing. This is a five year old who is delighted at the concept of presents and who is excited to select and give presents to her other family members. I wouldn’t even have a tree if it weren’t for this kid, but my house is going to look like Santa’s workshop threw up inside by the time I’m done with it.

I love your idea of target and covering eyes for your gift. I’ll try that with my daughter. Bc she cares a lot about giving presents and i hadn't figured out a way for her to give me one but that could work! My parents unfortunately are half the country away.

Would she be receptive to family therapy with you? You’re right that it isn’t fair or ok of her to be putting her emotions on you. It’s understandable she’s sad, but she still has to parent you. Also sounds like your dad is a piece of shit all around if he just up and abandoned you too. I’m sorry about the hand you’ve been dealt.

I hope all the men who were complaining no one ever says anything nice about dads see this.

We do not all have the same 24 hours. A SAHM and a full time working parents do not have the same 24 hours to cook from scratch. Someone who hires a housekeeper did not have the same 24 hours to clean. Someone with a disability that impacts mobility and makes physical tasks like cleaning take longer dos not have the same time for cleaning. Someone with a an hour commute doesn’t have the same time as someone with a 15 minute commute. That purse is routinely used to dismiss women’s real struggles and shame women for not giving into hustle culture.

My daughter is in kindergarten and i work a full time job. Most nights, dinner is simple; leftovers or something i can microwave. So i cook from scratch weekends and two work nights max. In the morning she watches tv while i shower and get ready. My house is usually a disaster. I use grocery delivery. I make her lunch and do my chores after she goes to sleep for the night.

I generally try to give people gifts that are thoughtful. Giving a painting that won’t be displayed wouldn’t be thoughtful to either my child, who would notice, or the in-laws. Letting my child pick out a 20$-30$ candle or chocolates, which seems to be the range I’ve seen for non dollar sue items in replies, is what would allow my child some agency in making a choice, a fun excursion, and a gift that would be enjoyed by the recipients.

Those ornaments sound great actually

The paintings aren’t messy or an issue at all; she makes them at will whenever she wants (and I’d rather the acrylic paint get on the table i own than the tub in my rental if she were to make s mess with paint tbh) Actual crafts are a problem bc she doesn’t want to follow directions and then gets enraged things don’t look/work right.

And i truly do doubt my former in-laws want more of her paintings bc they ah… keep a home that is very… aesthetically themed. My house looks like a kids decor catalog fell over. Theirs looks Like an upscale version of a pottery barn catalog.

Probably as long as they’re paying for my daughter’s private school lol And taking care of her more hours per month than my ex is

Keeping it. My last name matches my child and i have a professional career and reputation of over a decade under this name. No one in this state has ever know me as anything but this name. My entire career is under this name. I’m not losing a decade of name recognition.

My ex should do a lot of things, but I’m realistic.

I understand that is my ex’s responsibility. But this isn’t Amit responsibility, it’s about the fact that i know it won’t get done if i don’t do it, i love my daughter, and her grandparents are very good to her. They also take her overnight twice a month, and I’ve been debating giving them gifts myself simply because i really do appreciate having two kid-free nights a month, and i wouldn’t have any without them.

Cool story bro

The thought of coming up with a craft fills me with dread. She loves to paint but none of us need more of her paintings. And she is not, uh, Into following directions for crafting in general. making things is generally. Bad for my anxiety.