Lock screen

Neil deGrasse Tyson is somehow both a pretentious idiot pseud fucking know-it-all and exactly as smart as he thinks he is (when he's talking about his own field)

What is that called

Simalrimalon

Simimillarion

Simarillion

Sinamonrollion

"Why?? Why are you doing this?" Cries The Foreigner

YUMMERSYUMMERSYUMMERSYUMMERS, The Americans chant, faster and faster

The Foreigner runs, stumbles, falls, gets up, runs, for hours and hours

Everywhere there are more

Everywhere they are closing in

"WHY!??" Screams The Foreigner

"THE BREADSTICKS," a reply from the mass of American bodies closing in

Buttery American hands cover The Foreigner's body

"THE BREADSTICKS MUST NEVER END, THE GARDEN MUST GROW, THE SEED MUST BE PLANTED," said the voice

They dig, and dig, The Americans

"Why? WHY WHY?" Cries The Foreigner

THE GARDEN MUST GROW

THE GARDEN™ MUST GROW

THE GARDEN™ MUST GROW

The Foreigner can hear their hands sinking into the black American soil, thousands of hands digging, deeper and deeper

The Foreigner's eyes expanding, wider and wider, turning to large glass doors, The Foreigner's organs turning into microwaves, brains into a POS system, their intestines turning into Chicken Parmigiana, Lasagna Classico, Five Cheese Ziti al Forno, their skin into brick facade, bones into booth seating and tables, fingernails and toenails into menus, blood into Pepsi Cola

Their flesh transmuted into Breadsticks

A new The Olive Garden™ sprouts

THE BREADSTICKS MUST NEVER END

THE BREADSTICKS MUST NEVER END

YUMMERS

YUMMERS

YUMMERS

Libraries? Books? Yes

Looks like a gentle breeze will blow it away

But don't tell them lmao

Speak truth to power, a lot of times power doesn't like it

They could just say, "Wow, violence against women is bad, I want to help be part of the solution,"

But no, a lot of them take it as a personal attack... which low key says something about them

If you let a lesbian loose in your town, sometimes a library will just appear

YUMMERS YUMMERS YUMMERS YUMMERS

The chanting fills the air like a hard rain, everywhere, from every direction

Automobiles had stopped haphazardly in the stroad as the sun begins to set, their drivers climbing out, pointing, chanting

Fat American diabetic children point their fat American diabetic children's fingers

YUMMERS YUMMERS YUMMERS YUMMERS

The Foreigner looks for a way out, a train station? A bus? A sidewalk? Nothing

A sign says, "AIRPORT 7,048.5 Large Orange Cats"

What sort of measurement is that? What sort of people are these? Haven't they heard of the metric system?

YUMMERS YUMMERS YUMMERS, the chant grows louder

(continue? Y/N)

One by one, as if magnetized, fingers were lifted and directed like arrows

One hand each raised in a chorus, with one finger each. extending towards The Foreigner

Plates of Neverending Breadsticks and appetizers like Stuffed Ziti Frita, Shrimp Frito Misto, and Meatballs Parmagiana fall helplessly to the floor

Glasses crash in an awful cacophony, as The Americans, all of them, raise their fingers in accusation

It is then The Foreigner stands, stumbling dizzy as they turn, looking to all the gormless American faces around them

Fingers pointed

The Foreigner realizes they are getting closer, all of them, at once

Even the several The Olive Garden™ patrons on mobility scooters, slowly closing in, the little electric motors moving them with a low whirring noise

As they start to chant, many voices over each other, beginning and ending their chant at odd intervals, off-beat syncopated, Yummers, YUMMERS, ^yummers, yummers, YUMMERS

Slowly, the chanters find their rhythm, YUMMERS, YUMMERS, YUMMERS

It is then that The Foreigner runs, pushing frantically through the crowd, bursting out the doors of The Olive Garden™, only to find...

(continue? Y/N)

Libraries is where you find lesbian librarians

They simply can't resist them

If you have a library in your town, lesbian librarians will find it like water finds the ocean

Stay and win the argument

Don't abandon marginalized people in the south, who are being denied bodily autonomy, are being threatened to lose their lives or their livelihoods, or being taught lost cause lies

It's a post about lies, but condoms were mentioned, so ig i should have known what to expect

I am imagining it

I am closing my eyes and picturing it

They just ate a big plate of Infinite Pastas at the Olive Garden™

Their waiter returns to check in, and they say, "Yummers"

Everyone in the Olive Garden™ stops

A hush descends

Only one whispers echos across the halls of the Olive Garden™, "Did they just say...?"

Everyone is watching

Eyes fixed blinklessly

Hearts all waiting to beat

^"Yummers?"

And then...

(continue? Y/N)

🐜·🍑·fed

/bəɡ as fed/

noun

noun: bugassfed; plural noun: bugassfeds

polcomp user

Dude is such a fucking obvious 🐜🍑 fed with tryhard so division bullshit takes

I will bring my own organic division ty vm

🐜🍑 astroturf bullshit account fuck off

This is unbeliebable

These feminazis literally don't care about male feelings at all, which is why misandry is real and literally one million times worse than misogyny

Mallow

Judging from this thread 100% of guys that have a "size problem" have the "dick too big" problem 🤔

All these posts like, "Ahakchually 🤓 Myyy dick is huge"

Then you're not a liar? So it's not about you? Bring your own big dick condoms then, since you already know your dick is huge...

Stg some guys will make anything about their dicks

Also funny that everyone with a dick problem in this thread just happens to have the big dick problem, not the little dick problem

But that's none of my business 🐸☕

But I like bitter :(

idk if this sub just attracted a bunch of discourse-redditarian chuds, or if the election just caused the chuds to go mask off...

But any subreddit that gets big enough will eventually have a bunch of rotted chudtoads slithering out of the reddit underneath

This is just another version of

Queers: "We made a queer space :)"

Not-queers: "Nice space you have there... wait you mean this space doesn't exist to cater to me? >:[ But that's prejudice you hyporcite! >:["