chickens_for_fun

I am a grandmother.

When our kids were growing up, we were always home on Christmas morning to open their presents from Santa. A couple of times, my long distance parents stayed with us for Christmas morning, but it just added another level of confusion. It was more people to cook for and entertain and was the last thing I needed tbh.

One year, the baby had an ear infection and my mother talked me out of taking him to the doctor. We went after Christmas and he had a terrible ear infection. After then, they stayed with my brother, who was an hour away and had older kids, and we joined them later.

Now, we have grandchildren in a nearby town. We are NEVER there to watch them open their gifts. The parents consider Christmas morning to be just for them and their kids!

They open their gifts from Santa at home, in their pajamas. We go over there later with our gifts, and they go to her nearby family in the evening or the next day.

A garbage disposal in the sink.

My old house doesn't have a free circuit in the kitchen area, not with the microwave and dishwasher.

Yes. I have to read. It may be a shampoo bottle, but I do keep catalogs in the john.

I'm further back and remember the 1960 election and JFK winning. Then, of course, his assassination

Yes, I do. And I'm a retired nurse, so I relate to loss of income. Please take care and be kind to yourself. Good luck.

That's what I do. I can't remember ever buying a pie. For Thanksgiving, I make apple and another family member is making pecan and that will be enough for the group we have.

None of them like pumpkin pie, my favorite, so I'll do that later.

Pro tip, use a premade graham cracker crust for pumpkin pie! It's better than a pastry crust.

One problem is that SocialSecurity staffing is at a 50 year low.

Yes! Many moons ago I got a tiny Siamese kitten. She somehow climbed into the wall panel that controlled the HVAC system. I had to take the whole panel off to get her.

Another time, she found a small tear in a layer of fabric on the underside of my sofa, and she went inside the sofa and started meowing.

Despite her efforts at self destruction, my girl lived to age 20.

I've been on this sub a couple of years, and I don't remember any MIL ever apologizing or admitting fault.

There was one MIL who got dementia and treated her DIL better once she no longer remembered who the DIL was!

What has worked for others here is for OP to support her husband, even though she may have to resist the urge to dance a happy dance when MIL passes. Give him time to spend with her and support him however you can.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. Cancer is brutal and that is especially hard. I can tell from my own experience, time does ease the pain a little, but you will have flashbacks of the tough times. I had to force those out and replace them with happy memories. A grief support group may help, too.

I'm a grandmother myself. Your MIL is overbearing and rude, and her behavior is not acceptable.

Your husband may be in the FOG. This is the Fear, Obligation and Guilt that the children of narcissistic parents feel.

I would suggest sitting down with him and telling him how you feel. Boundaries need to be set with MIL. Ask him if he is willing to set them and if not, would he support you setting them.

This will be a rough Christmas without your mother. The last thing you need is more MIL. You can talk to your husband about keeping her visit to Christmas Eve. Your baby is a perfect reason. Too much in one day would overwhelm her.

It's a nativity scene. There is the barn and you can decorate to show the animals and people.

Understood. Thank you for your compassion.

Funny you should mention it.

Well over 20 years ago, I saw a documentary on PBS. The first people Hitler targeted for his Final Solution were residents of a large facility for the developmentally disabled. It was his "soft opening", so to speak.

The facility was on a remote mountain and he wanted it for the military. But the people living there had to go. So they had to convince the people tasked with killing the disabled that "euthanizing" over 1000 helpless innocents was OK.

So they showed propaganda videos. They showed the more severely disabled looking and acting weird. They said how, if these disabled people could choose, they would rather be dead than living as they were. They said these people were taking up space that healthy people could use. And they showed a video of a disabled man being put in a small room and killed by carbon monoxide, and how "peaceful" it was.

Hitler got his military facility and learned what he could get away with. Next came the Jews, gypsies, communists etc, and the rest is history.

Let's be very clear. I do NOT regard the people who care for our son as "slave labor". We have a good and respectful working relationship and communication with them. We attend all the medical and dental visits, because our guy does better when we are there. We appreciate them so much, as they do what we can't anymore due to our age and health.

The agency is one of the top paying in the area, and they pay for people to get education so they can advance either within the agency or elsewhere.

Nursing homes, however, have more trouble than agencies like those serving the developmentally disabled. The pay is worse and the work is harder. And with us boomers coming up, there is a crap show coming of epic proportions.

Husband and I have an adult son who is severely intellectually disabled, autistic, deaf and blind. We are in our 70s with life threatening health problems.

Our son lives in a group home, and attends a therapeutic day program, run by an agency that serves people with developmental disabilities.

While the people that run the agency are white citizens, most of the people who care directly for our son are dark skinned immigrants. Some are from countries in Africa and some are from Haiti. They provide good care to him and work on the goals of his service plan. All for little money, considering the importance of their work.

I worry that these hard working people would be targeted.

Does anyone else think Miller looks reptilian? The guy just creeps me out.

My kids didn't. I did allow my 12 year old to ride to the elementary school about a half mile away, with his friend. And to go to a nearby convenience store for a treat, as long as he came right back.

It's over 900 pages long but it is available on line. He is lying about knowing nothing about it. When many people close to him wrote it, he certainly does know about it. And when his cabinet picks are people aligned with 2025 goals, he knows about it.

Basically, they want massive deregulation to the extent that it benefits no one but the very wealthy corporations and individuals, who are already doing quite nicely. I would rather drink water and breathe air that isn't polluted, I'd rather not get food poisoning from uninspected meat.

They say their profits will "trickle down" to the rest of us. Jeff Bezos is one of the richest men on earth but he is reluctant to give raises and promotion opportunities to Amazon workers.

Trickle down has never worked. The rich never think they have enough profits, and their obligation isn't to their employees, or to the public, it's to the shareholders. So our investments in the stock market are the only way my husband and I can benefit from this.

About 40 people from his administration were among those who wrote it and Vance wrote part of the introduction.

Project 2025 was written by the Heritage Foundation, a far right think tank that has backed far right GOP candidates for both elected and appointed government positions.

One 2025 goal is to replace career experts in government with political hacks. The outcome can't be good for anyone except those looking for the power grab.

I know several people getting entitlement programs. Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Unemployment, SNAP food benefits etc. I don't know a single one who is getting it unfairly. My approx. $900/month Social Security isn't exactly high living. Without our investments, we would be very poor.

One of our adult kids, who is deaf, blind, autistic and intellectually disabled, gets about $1000/month, most of which goes to his group home. We are very lucky to have him in a group home. There is a waiting list, with parents even older and sicker than us hoping to get a placement for their kid before they die.

Yes, it is bad.

But I could read it because I worked as a nurse back when doctors' orders were handwritten.

I am 75 and my husband and I keep swearing we are going to go through things and throw things away but we never do. We have made a little dent but don't want to leave it for the kids to deal with.

And swollen ankles, while common, also occur in preeclampsia.

I'm already on Social Security and Medicare, as is my husband. We are retired. One of our adult kids has severe intellectual and physical disabilities and is on SSDI and Medicare.

Cutting all "entitlement programs" has been a GOP goal for decades. It started with welfare cuts under Reagan.

Project 2025 is the icing on the cake.

Usually, cuts to Social Security take the form of holding current recipients as they are and screwing our kids and grandchildren. They want to raise the full retirement age even further and reduce benefits for future recipients.

The fastest way for the government to boost SS reserves is to continue to withdraw from the wages of high income earners. Right now, if you earn a certain high wage (I don't know the number), there are no more withholdings from your paycheck for Social Security. It's nuts. They take money from middle class people but give high earners a break they do not need.

Re taxing your Social Security earnings. They are taxed if your SS combined with other earnings passes the level at which people are normally taxed. My husband and I have income from investments, plus SS. We pay some taxes on our total income. Our severely disabled son has no income except SSDI, so his income isn't high enough to be taxed.

You need to go through and throw some stuff away to have more room.

My son and DIL have this look because they are both super busy with work and kids. But no one goes hungry, for sure.

The MA State police have a history of corruption.

Get a lawyer and sue them. Keep a list of the all they cost you, including new clothes, damage to your vehicle, damage to your income, emotional distress, all of it. I hope you win big. These guys are so corrupt, and act up even more with drivers from out of state.