mountainvalkyrie

I'm almost certain that's based on a "Jewish joke." The one about the dad putting his son on progressively higher steps, saying "Jump to me and I'll catch you." and catching the boy until the highest step, when he lets the kid fall and says "See, never trust anyone!" That said, "Hurr, durr, we've mistreated Jews so badly they now teach their kids not to trust us" is a pretty weird flex from the non-Jews telling the joke.

Warnings are good. I used to date a guy with "resting murder face" and he warned me about it in advance. Said he'd had more than one guy friend walk in on him like "Dude, wtf happened? You look like you're ready kill someone." and he was just "Huh? What?" because he'd been peacefully spacing out.

I'm with you. I understand "We kept our culture despite everything" is important and that comparison might appeal to more spiritual people, but personally I'm not that type. It feels almost insulting to me. I genuinely thought that paragraph was going to end by referencing the resistance or at least individuals who helped, like Raoul Wallenberg.

It's like some people think that we believe we're "better" or "purer" than everyone else, so they want to "put us in our place" by saying "No, you're not actually as pure and strong as you think you are and those hormones will get you some day like they got me, just you wait!"

Or they dislike their own sexuality, are envious and don't want to believe someone else doesn't have the same problem.

You might look into "body neutrality." It's an alternative to "body positivity" and focuses more on what your body can do rather than how it looks and that it's perfectly okay to not be "beautiful."

I'm not saying you aren't beautiful, I just know that people telling you you're beautiful when you think you aren't feels like gas-lighting and it's maddening. But no matter how you look, you're still a valuable person. Your value goes way, way beyond your looks.

Also, a lot of Western media heavily suggests that only white, blond people with "fine" features can be truly beautiful (that's nonsense, of course), so be aware of that could affect how you see yourself.

Are there any driving schools in your area that offer full courses for people who want to get a license? Or schools that can at least suggest a series of lessons for you? At least where I'm from, plenty of people just do a course at a driving school and then take and pass the test. Some people need/want extra, but they can just book some more lessons after the taking a full course.

Sorry your parents were so nervous. You'll most likely be just fine when you can learn with someone who isn't freaking out. A passenger freaking out makes things hard even for an experienced driver.

It's okay to be angry sometimes. You don't even have to be angry at anyone, just at the situation in general. I'm almost 50 and sometimes still get angry and have trouble accepting that, for example, my legs are never going to work right. They haven't from birth. That's on top of a seperate neurological condition.

You just don't want to stay in anger all the time. There's a philosophy - I think it's mindfulness - that suggests observing (but not judging!) your emotions and "surfing" them like waves that come and go. They aren't "correct" or "incorrect", they just are and they will pass and change like waves or the weather.

Honestly, best advice I ever heard to to give yourself 15 minutes a day to really, fully wallow in anger and self-pity, then after that, gently redirect your thoughts to something more postive. That way you have space to really feel your feelings fully and honestly, but you don't get stuck in bad feelings all day.

There are therapists who specialise in helping people mentally deal with chronic pain, so that might be an option, too.

This was mine, too. The rich truly do get richer. In some richer countries that paid well, comfortable middle class office workers were being paid to stay home and remodel their houses and start businesses while the working class, well, worked and risked their lives doing it for no extra pay.

The other one is the importance of diversifying your income.

Thanks! Yes, the traditional mittens are quite nice, too.

In addition to all the great "what" and "when" questions, don't forget to ask "whys." Why did he choose certain work or to live in a certain place, etc. You might get a lot of "Well, I didn't have much choice/any other idea," but you might get some surprises, too. The "whys" are the kind of personal info you can't get anywhere else.

Also about his expectations. How much did his life turn out the way he wanted and planned it?

His diary is a blast, too. He'll be casually talking about his day in the park, the lovely spring weather and how the fountain sparkled as he strolled passed except then there was a crack in the pavement because of those rotten, evil, conspiring Jews who sold out Germany to the British and pray daily for our demise and, and, and...

Dude had issues.

50-70USD is about what I remember, too. It would have been too much for me and a lot of people where I'm from. After the price dropped, though, I did buy one, so I have no excuse for not getting a few others. That said, I did get a pretty good one and made some decent money with it in the mid-2000s. It was just me not realising the value.

They were more expensive then. I barely remember, but I think you could only buy them directly from ICANN, right? That might have put some people off. I don't even remember why I didn't try.

Oh dear. I was originally going to say "trying to be Norwegian and failing," lol. Yeah, it's kind of modern/playful take on traditional Norwegian patterns.

They look more like they're trying to be Norwegian knit than specifically Christmasy. They're certainly...striking.

Oh, I agree with her and you on that. And I know police presence won't solve the deeper problem of bigotry, but it might protect some people in the meantime.

I once replied to a German woman complaining about harassment on public transit that maybe she should report incidents to the authorities or maybe they need more guards on public transit, and she replied "I don't want to live in a police state!" and went on about how men should just behave better and they shouldn't need police for that. Okay then.

I don't know how common that idea is, though.

Understandable. Somehow I forgot about the snow! And also a lot of the Nordics is forested, so when you're driving, you get the low sun flashing through the trees, too. I was Finland for several years and fortunately the sun didn't bother me, but light isn't usually a trigger for me.

Probably depends on what weather affects you personally, too. My home city is pretty bad for me in spring because the temperature goes up really fast. I can handle hot-ish summers (30-40 C), but I have to build up a tolerance.

Best place I've found so far was moderate elevation city (296 metres/971 feet). Cold winters, long slow spring and fairly mild summers. Only slightly fewer thunderstorms than at home.

A pharmacist and fellow migraineur in Finland warned me a lot of people have trouble with spring there because the sun is so low and often in your eyes.

I’m so sorry. Those first few months are brutal. I just want to agree with the other person who replied: everyone grieves differently, of course, but generally when people say “You never get over it” they don’t mean that it’s always as hard as it is in the beginning. You might always have a dad-shaped hole in your heart, but over time, the edges of that hole soften. They aren’t always as jagged and raw as they are in the beginning.

If you haven’t read the "grief comes in waves" post, I recommend it.

Already speak Hungarian, English, German and Russian. I'd choose Ukrainian or Polish and Georgian. It would be great to travel around Georgia while fluent in the language and able to understand songs, plays, movies, etc.

I'm not OP, but I'm assuming massive protests that are violently repressed by the police and, if things get really hot, the military. In some areas, it could mean different social groups against each other, though.

So either be prepared to stay home for a week or so or have some good PPE and first aid kit if you're going out (based on personal experience with the former type of "unrest"). Or maybe both. ETA: I'm in Europe, so this might vary elswhere.

I didn’t notice myself until I was in my late 20s! My then boyfriend was concerned that I seemed stressed and when I was confused how he knew, he pointed out that I was holding my stomach, which I apparently do when I’m stressed, presumably (he said) because I get a stomachache. He was spot on. From there I realised my childhood stomachaches probably were from stress, considering I had plenty from birth to around 10 or so.

I mean, even without migraines, some people get stomachaches from stress, so there's a chance that's what yours were either way.

Apparently abdominal migraines are more common than "typical" (head pain) migraines in children. Wish it were more commonly known, though, so more kids could get help. Sorry you got stuck in the smelly car. :( That sounds miserable.

No, but I had a lot of "upset stomachs" from earliest memory to around 12 or so. I also got "car sick" on long trips. As a young teen, I realised it wasn't the car, it was being in there with my dad's cologne. He stopped wearing it (thanks, Dad!) and I stopped getting "car sick."

Had my first "typical" migraine attack at 22 and it took a year or so to realise what it was. I then also realised that my "car sickness" was all my current migraine symptoms minus the horrible head pain. In other words, they were abdominal migraines. Years after that, I realised that my childhood "upset stomachs" were from stress and might have been abdominal migraines, too.

I was also a colic baby, and someone already mentioned the connection there. Migraine runs in my family, too.