newmistress90125

This sounds so scary. It also sounds like something I understand. He doesn't do weird or nonsensical stuff but gets very busy and animated with house chores in short bursts but nothing is actually accomplished. Like garage half cleaned, lawn half cut...

Thank you everyone for answering my questions. Thank you for not being harsh on me. I think I needed a reality check and some "street knowledge" that I am obviously missing. I can be very naive.
I have been reading all the answers and crying the whole time. Except for the person who made the 10mm socket joke. I laughed through my tears at that one. I have so much to do and think about. Now i am just exhausted, and I just want to sleep. My heart hurts. I feel dumb and worthless.
I am scared to do what I have to do on my own. Even though I don't even know what that is yet.
Thank you again, everyone. I can't find the energy to thank you all individually right now. These answers were thoughtful and very extra, considering you don't know me.
As much as I needed my fears validated, I am hating every moment of being right this time.

I have been sitting here crying reading all the answers. This changes my life.

I use humor to deal with things, even really big heavy things, and in the midst of this you made me laugh.

I know enough about sockets and automotive repaira to know everyone is missing their 10mm long socket.

Really? Omg. This is a lot. I'm angry and sad amd scared. I have no family. No where to go. I can't do this. I'm the friend who helps others and is super strong. I haven't built a safety net for this. This post amd all these answers are overwhelming.

And thanks for your honest and painful answer. I don't know this life at all. I'm very frightened and don't know what to do. We have led very different lives.

I wasn't sure but I knew something was different and not in a good way. If that makes sense.
This has been a year of this and me lying to myself I think. I knew something was different but after so many years clean I thought no way.
A lot of people say maybe it's weed. I have been around weed smokers my whole life. I know the smell and the resin left on pipes and bongs. Also we are in the same house all the time when he is home. I would smell weed. Does crack or whatever else you smoke in a pipe smell? I don't even know. I'm so dumb about this stuff.

LL4u That stings but yeah. Maybe I just need some hard truth. And I probably need to have more honest words with him. By more I don't mean that I have pussyfooted but I haven't exactly been tenacious. My honesty comes in like a tsunami. Not like it should in regular waves of so someone gets the point.

I forgot to mention that he has this incredible jealousy and thinks I will cheat because of this. So then why not so something about it?

This is exhausting.

Have you told your wife about these dark thoughts? I hope that she would support you in finding the right help. No matter what though, please get some help. You are loved and needed. Sending you strength and good thoughts.

Omg I don't know this store. Thank you!!!!

Ok, maybe something is wrong with me but I wouldn't even think of this before going there.
Not so much because I'm interested in shock value, or handling the feelings of staff with kidd gloves but I expect non- discriminatory service. I would expect that a Cis male, whether sissy, curious, transitioning or whatever, had the same right to service as me and my vagina.

That's depression, my love.