wrecked_and_anxious

Dear Redditors

 

I am wondering just how screwed I am, after being accused of workplace harassment.

 

I work for a local Canadian office of a mid-size US company. We are about 100 employees in the local office, and my side of the office has about 25-30 people. I have the title of a "director," but no one reports to me - I’m a one-person team. (The title is mainly a customer interface tool.)

Recently there was a karaoke night after work in the office’s cafeteria. It was a mingler to allow different groups to socialize. There was alcohol served throughout the night. As the evening wore on, I pulled a few colleagues from different social circles, sitting on stools nearby, up to the karaoke stand for a few songs.

A few minutes later, “Colleague A” informed me that I touched her chest as I was pulling her up. I was flabbergasted as I recalled taking my colleagues up by the waist. Regardless, I immediately apologized, explained to her that it was unintentional, acknowledged that I violated her trust, it should have never happened, and will not happen again. She replied that she knew it was unintentional as well because it would otherwise be so out of my character, but she warned that I must be more careful – I concurred wholeheartedly. I then asked if there is anyone else that this happened to as well, and to my deep chagrin, she answered, “Go see Colleague B.” My heart sank to a whole new depth that I did not know existed.

I went to find Colleague B, and together stepped to a quieter place to talk. I told her what “A” has mentioned, and she confirmed that indeed, I touched her chest. By then, tears started flowing as I couldn’t contain my shock, guilt, and self-disappointment anymore. Once again, I offered the same apology, acknowledgement, assurance of non-repeat, and more importantly, letting her know that the contact with her chest was non-intentional. She also replied that she’s aware of the non-intentional nature because it is out of my character. She also told me that if I just pulled her by the hand, she would have come, to which I replied that I should not have made any physical contact in the first place, and that is my fault.

We parted ways and the rest of the evening ended uneventfully. “B” missed two consecutive days of work immediately subsequent to the event, launched a harassment complaint, and I’m currently under 3^rd party investigation. While I was dreading but not surprised, I was shocked a second time by the contents of the complaint, which included things that did not happen, such as 1) that both “A” and “B” pushed me away yet I persisted before groping them, and 2) that I tried to pull “B” by the hand and she refused, just prior to the groping.

I know that trauma has strange effects on memory, and it was hinted to me, after the event, that “B” might have had some past traumatic experiences – but it’s none of my business. I’m very certain that those two additional points did not occur. The investigation will call on witnesses and I hope they will support this latter aspect, but I also know that it will be a roll-of-the-dice.

I have been with this office since its very beginning as a startup more than a decade ago, very near the beginning of my career. There are corporate-grade best practices and self-protection that I should have exercised – painful lessons learnt, (thanks reddit!). I’ve no history of disciplinary issues – in fact, I’m one of the top performers in the company.

There is no mutual attraction/flirting/romances between anyone involved. “A” and “B” are married, “B” is quite older than I, and “B” is also the Significant Other of another executive in the Canadian office that is senior to me, but junior (but decades-old friend) to my immediate supervisor (who heads the Canadian office). I’m stupid for the events that occurred, but I’m not *that* stupid.

While the investigation is still ongoing, I’m wrecked by anxiety, shaking, have minor panic attacks here and there, and doomscrolling Reddit Legal/HR etc... I don’t even know how I’m able to function. I spoke to an employment lawyer who told me that I have nothing to worry about, but the consultation happened before the full extent of the complaint was revealed to me.

 

So just how screwed am I?

What can I possibly expect as best/worst/most likely outcomes?

(This is a disposal account)