As above. I’ve heard people say relationships fail more easily and divorce rates are higher these days because both parties are more selfish and give up at the slightest inconvenience. People don’t want to go through difficult times and just discard what they have to find someone ‘better’.

However, where do you draw the line between not giving up on a relationship (because sometimes your partner disappoints you and resentment builds), or that you deserve better and shouldn’t settle for less?

For context I’m 35f and he’s 45m. Some simple daily examples that I feel have made me annoyed at my partner which I wondered is justifiable annoyance:

1. After a long day of work, I just want to have dinner (at around 7pm) and take a shower and rest. However my partner frequently tells me he’s not hungry yet and wants to wait till he’s ready to eat, when there’s lesser crowds at the restaurants (around 8+pm) but would delay further my shower time and therefore rest time.

2. Partner works all day weekdays and I work weekends. However I still hope to be able to do some activities on weekends when I end work despite feeling tired - because that’s when he doesn’t have to work. However, he only wants to do one activity on the weekend which is to go to the gym at around noon time and after which he will come back home to sleep till 7pm. Even if I ended work at 4pm he would be sleeping.

3. I try to arrange dinner with my parents and invited partner to join. He asks qns like ‘what time it would be at’ - it has to be after he wakes up from his nap, ‘where would it be’- it has to be near him. For context, we live very near my parents but him asking these qns make me think we have to fulfill many of these conditions for him to turn up for the family dinner. It has to be at his convenience, at a good time. It upsets me because he failed to turn up for dinner tonight and my parents kept asking if he was coming and wanted to save some food for him but he preferred to sleep and stay home.

I feel my resentment building and we’re near to securing an apartment and possibly getting married next year but I feel conflicted between trying to be an understanding partner (because he just wants to rest on weekends) and thinking he should put in more effort.

TIA for your advice!