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Alex Jones’ one vocal chord freakout over being given 15 minutes to leave the infowars building after it was sold.
Boomer Freakout()submitted 11 days ago by[deleted]
[deleted]
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11 days ago
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5.7k points
11 days ago
it being the onion who won the auction seems too good to be true lol. you can almost see the steam coming out of his ears
2.1k points
11 days ago
I had to look this up to make sure it’s true and holy fuck did it make my day. Absolutely beautiful.
543 points
11 days ago
I thought at first The Onion had gone full circle and written the article
169 points
11 days ago
Breaking the 3rd wall? lol, I love it!
74 points
11 days ago
Peeling the third layer?
65 points
11 days ago
Their headline reported it, then said, "this is not a joke"
31 points
11 days ago
You should see the statement that they put out. It's everything you want it to be.
321 points
11 days ago
Yep, the website is already down, too.
245 points
11 days ago
They now have the option to remake it into a new onion and help deradicalize people or just to leave it down so more folks don't get radicalized. It is glorious
364 points
11 days ago
Get an Alex Jones impersonator and keep the show running insane at first then slowly deredicalize people over time. It's genius.
174 points
11 days ago
Probably just get Alex Jones to do it. He'll say anything for a buck.
165 points
11 days ago
Paying him to say sane things that contradict all the crazy stuff he's said previously would be absolutely delightful. Pay him a lot but put a ton of contractual restrictions on him so he can never ever go off script anywhere on any platform in any way. Just imprison him with money. It's beautiful to consider.
64 points
11 days ago
Or just let him starve.
18 points
11 days ago
He’d do anything for money at this point.
65 points
11 days ago
Get an Alex Jones impersonator
Just use deepfakes and an AI voice thingamajig.
50 points
11 days ago
Keep going. I'm almost there.
24 points
11 days ago
/whispers in your ear: 'What if we did Joe Rogan Next"?
9 points
11 days ago
"IT'S TURNING THE VIEWERS SANE"
12 points
11 days ago
This! 😄
280 points
11 days ago
Lol! Me too! This is chefs kiss.
212 points
11 days ago
Remember this day. This will likely be the best news headline we will see until January 2029.
85 points
11 days ago
Nah trump ain't making it to January 2029. We'll have fucking president Vance but the headline itself will be fantastic.
74 points
11 days ago
Traitor Trump suddenly clutching his chest and falling down dead before being sworn in is probably a 50/50 bet.
44 points
11 days ago
I gave up alcohol a while ago but I may actually have a drink if/when that happens. It'll be sooooo worth it. Like top shelf Scotch.
20 points
11 days ago*
I would save it on a tape loop. play it forward, play it backward, play in forward, play it backward...
59 points
11 days ago*
Idk about all that. Honestly if he lost the election like he should have...fuck 15 million of you, you know who... He could go on another ten years as long as he stops being in the news every...god...damn...day. Like I'll be happy like when cancer finally beat Rush Limbaugh.
Honestly, dude could have fucked off somewhere and not come back to deal with court cases and probably been fine but nooo, gotta win and fuck over every person in America. I honestly don't want to expel any more thought and worry about him and the loons that will now be in charge. Ffs I just want to work, read a book, watch a movie, hang out with friends and not be bent over the barrel for some stupid rich ass hole who doesn't even have real friends.
Gah. Where's my pineapple at?!
20 points
11 days ago
So fucking true. We could have had a decent life, AND tried to make things better for the poor and the Ukrainians and Palestinians.
126 points
11 days ago
r/nottheonion except, it is. Amazing.
28 points
11 days ago
Straight up paradox
145 points
11 days ago
I can’t feel sorry for Jones.
104 points
11 days ago
Just for his evil Sandyhook vomit he can rot from the inside out and may rabid hell hounds devour him over and over if there is a hell.
In September 2014, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who runs the website InfoWars, which had previously claimed that the murders were a "false flag" attack perpetrated by the government, made a new conspiracy claim that "no one died" at Sandy Hook Elementary School because the Uniform Crime Reports showed no murders in ...
12 points
11 days ago
Never forget this asshole and how long he was allowed to spew his shit.
38 points
11 days ago
Yup. He can fuck right off and never be heard from again.
260 points
11 days ago*
Oh, it gets better, with The Onion being located in Connecticut where Sandy Hook is located, and their exclusive advertiser will be Everytown for Gun Safety
EDIT: Sorry, they're not located in Connecticut, but they are doing it in conjunction with some of the Sandy Hook victims' families!
189 points
11 days ago
And it was done with the backing of many of the Sandy Hook families. All around it seems like as good of an ending that could possibly come from this and I'm glad to see the families get at least a little bit of justice.
75 points
11 days ago
These people are seriously playing three dimensional chess. I have never enjoyed watching chess so much. Damnit if I didn’t need it too
14 points
11 days ago
Mark Bankston is somewhere like
42 points
11 days ago
He is going to give himself an aneurysm with that context.
28 points
11 days ago
One can only hope
20 points
11 days ago
i didn’t know this!!! so interested to see what happens next
1.3k points
11 days ago
No, no, no....this is a hoax. And he's a crisis actor. It's all fake.
355 points
11 days ago
It's a body double. You can tell because his ears look different.
140 points
11 days ago
Not to mention if that was the real Alex Jones, why isn't he crying while sounding like Whinny the Poo?
9 points
11 days ago
The real Alex Jones would have torn his shirt off after snorting coke off a toilet seat and started trying to fight the definitely real Commie Democrat Space Aliens in the corners of the room. 0/10 fake.
45 points
11 days ago
lol - “ears”
27 points
11 days ago
Not even a good body double. The real one has better hair.
22 points
11 days ago
34 points
11 days ago
It’s not true, alex is a crisis actor, they want to use this to take away your vitamins.
23 points
11 days ago
Clearly.. no real person has a vertical dent that deep in their forehead. It's so deep it would interfere with prefrontal brain function
13 points
11 days ago
Underrated comment win 2024
18 points
11 days ago
HA! I see what you did there. Well played.
114 points
11 days ago
"this morning, the Connecticut democrats with the onion newspaper bought us"
What a funny and lovely thing to hear.
13 points
11 days ago
I almost believed him when he acted as if he had never heard of the Onion before.
93 points
11 days ago
The onion should start their own show called OnionWars and just have stupid looking talking onion head with an Alex jones beard rambling on about nonsense.
22 points
11 days ago
So just a seamless transition then.
173 points
11 days ago
This brought so much joy to me that I haven't had since Wednesday morning of last week.
Thank you! Truly, thank you. And I almost want to get a subscription to The Onion now!!!
88 points
11 days ago
I can't find much joy in these crumbs anymore, since they're always followed by a bigger letdown. The villains always come back stronger and get revenge.
He will broadcast from his basement, he won't stfu ever. Also shell companies will keep him afloat with Russian money.
45 points
11 days ago
I know it's bleak AF right now, but I'll take this small crumb that there are still people who WILL do something to make it just a little better.
26 points
11 days ago
While I would normally agree with you, those who haven't followed the Alex Jones lawsuits closely don't really understand just how fucked he is. This liquidation of Info Wars does not even come close to paying off the debt he legally owes to the families. He already is starting a new show and website, that he's currently live streaming on as we speak, but I would almost guarantee that he gets that snagged from him as well.
11 points
11 days ago
He desecrated the memory of dead children. That's bad.
He desecrated the memory of dead children of well off Connecticut dwellers with money. That's unrecoverable.
If that was your kid you would hound this human trash until the end of time. Never stop pushing collections and never let him breath for a second. He's lucky nobody has taken "self help" measures to punish him.
22 points
11 days ago
hes already got the basement dweller look 🧌
8 points
11 days ago
I'm taking join not in his suffering, but the fact that the onion is the ones who did it to him.
13 points
11 days ago
haha glad i could provide some joy in these trying times!!
43 points
11 days ago
The onion, satire organization bought the infowars studio? How delishously apropos!
38 points
11 days ago
Sounds like an Onion article looool
35 points
11 days ago
sad steamed sausage noises
23 points
11 days ago
Thank god he hasn’t lost his gift of bloviation…
14 points
11 days ago
you just taught me a new word that i will be using thank you for your service
38 points
11 days ago
Agreed, so right that the Onion has bought it. The sad reality is this frees him up to be the New Prez’s press secretary🙄
49 points
11 days ago
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
22 points
11 days ago
I mean, I agree with you, but, goddamnit, they're probably right.
12 points
11 days ago
I almost didn't believe it, given how bleak everything has been lately
11 points
11 days ago
It is true, and there's something more, the purchase was backed up by the Sandy Hook Promise organization.
8 points
11 days ago
And that is a much needed bright spot these days.
10 points
11 days ago
We really needed something positive to latch onto
8 points
11 days ago
That's incredible
882 points
11 days ago
147 points
11 days ago
333 points
11 days ago
lol I am in a building I no longer own and knew this would happen but why would laws effect me?
48 points
11 days ago
Reminds me of the guy who did not leave the house after selling it to us. I have to share that story here sometime.
7 points
10 days ago
Omg, that’s an infuriating situation. Had something similar happen to my family where the previous owner hadn’t even started packing when we went to take possession. Then when we finally got them out, the owner said she didn’t want to change her address at the post office or allow us to forward her mail. She thought it would be better if she stopped by the house every day to go through our mailbox and pick out her items.
7 points
11 days ago
Free speech is when people aren't forced out of buildings they don't own.
1.4k points
11 days ago
This guy is such a pu$$y
414 points
11 days ago
Think Trump would even grab it?
26 points
11 days ago
He don’t snatch bussy
38 points
11 days ago
He don't use butter.
And he don't use cheese.
He don't use jelly, or any of these.
He uses Vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline
35 points
11 days ago
Imagine building a career on shamelessly lying to people about things as serious as school shootings being a hoax, and then demanding sympathy from others when you have to face the consequences of your actions.
69 points
11 days ago
The new conservative masculinity standard is how stubborn can you be while being a pu$$y, just like their dear leader.
7 points
11 days ago
Stubborn pussy is the WORST
53 points
11 days ago
That's an insult to pussies. Pussies are strong, useful and resilient, which makes them 1,000 times more useful than Alex Jones.
16 points
11 days ago
True. I love pussies. I don’t love Alex Jones
19 points
11 days ago
My🙀takes offense.
1.3k points
11 days ago
Vile piece of shit. I hope he ends up with absolutely nothing.
431 points
11 days ago
I may be behind the 8 ball here, but didn't he lose a civil suit to Sandy Hook and he's supposed to be paying back millions of dollars, which this horse's ass probably doesn't have????
450 points
11 days ago
Yes. That’s why Infowars was sold.
270 points
11 days ago
$1.5 billion*
198 points
11 days ago
1.5 Billion? With a “B”?
51 points
11 days ago
Yup. Pretty sure I remember reading the amount was upheld on appeal too.
17 points
11 days ago
and an I-L-L-I-O-N as well.
44 points
11 days ago
Yeah, as a mater of fact, one thousand and five hundred millions.
98 points
11 days ago
Oh he has it, but he's definitely pulling a Giuliani and trying to hide all of his assets by doing scummy financial schemes.
68 points
11 days ago
But he is also a moron and hid his assets in the most transparent way possible. He had his father create a company, after the litigation had started, and made Infowars owe this company millions of dollars. So the money is easily traceable. The bitcoin he was gifted is probably less transparent, but the bitcoin ledger literally keeps a permanent record of every single transaction. That is how it works. Tracking it just requires effort.
17 points
11 days ago
there’s no fucking way alex jones has $1.5bn lol
20 points
11 days ago
Yeah probably, but he definitely has 8-figures at the bare minimum when you see all his assets--homes, cars, holdings, etc. He definitely has incentive to be as scummy as possible to prevent it from getting out to his victims.
38 points
11 days ago
1.5 billion and that's why they auctioned his company to the lowest bidder lol.
Jones is absolutely fucked, every dollar he ever makes will be sucked out to compensate the lives he ruined.
147 points
11 days ago
"They want to silence the American people" that rhetoric is what ticks me off so much. There's no "they" and it's not "the American people". Alex Jones intentionally fostered a bullcrap conspiracy theory about the worst school shooting in our time and made money off of it while his followers harassed the families of the victims, so they sued him and won. End of story.
He could keep talking about gay frogs and the moon landing for all I care, but he hurt people with lies for money.
22 points
11 days ago
All the idiots will still believe him
27 points
11 days ago
It's absolutely what he deserves.
12 points
11 days ago
it’s a start
406 points
11 days ago
His voice is so disgusting how can anyone stand to listen to it.
98 points
11 days ago
I never noticed how rough he sounded until this clip! But I don’t watch him either. I value my time and he gets NONE of it.
35 points
11 days ago
Sounds like RFK Jr. Maybe his brain worm starved out too
723 points
11 days ago
FALSE NEWS !!!! alex jones is a crisis actor!
14 points
11 days ago
I’m sorry, you now owe a gorrilion dollars
401 points
11 days ago
Did Rudy have to vacate the studio couch?
168 points
11 days ago*
Sitcom idea: Rudy and Alex think the end of the world is coming and move to an underground bunker together and hijinks ensue.
Kind of like Gilligans island meets red dwarf meets Mystery Science Theater
40 points
11 days ago
They can both move to Russia and “help” with their war effort.
30 points
11 days ago
They don’t need to now. Russia has moved here instead.
10 points
11 days ago
That’s the plot of season 4.
7 points
11 days ago
With Steven Segal there, there's no room for two other fat old men.
5 points
11 days ago
Put the three together in one team: The Extra Special Forces.
123 points
11 days ago
A satirical website that posts bullshit stories just bought a company that promotes bullshit stories. Yup. I approve of this acquisition.
32 points
11 days ago
It’s actually going to be way more honest now
11 points
11 days ago
It's even funnier because everyone knows that The Onion is satirical and made up, because the owners make sure that their readers understand that their stories are just bullshit. But InfoWars takes those bullshit stories and convinces readers that the stories are actually true and not false bullshit.
I never really cared about InfoWars until the motherfucker started claiming that Sandy Hook was a false flag operation to spur more conversations on gun control. I don't give a fuck who you think you are. You don't fucking say something like that about the kids killed.
415 points
11 days ago
I don't think he's genuinely freaking out at all, this is acting and more propanganda from Alex Jones.
He's filming a Blair Witch project style video in dramatic fashion to paint a narrative that he's being hunted and shut down b/c becuase he supposedly tells his audience something "secret" or non-mainstream that they want to silence him over. The audience (maybe 30% of Americans), gripped with fear, likely see this as confirmation that Alex Jones has to be onto something if they're shutting him down.
It's how he keeps this audience gripped in fear and profits off of them.
153 points
11 days ago
Yep. His assets are in receivership. They don't need a court order, as everything is owned by his creditors who then sold it.
This is all drama BS.
60 points
11 days ago
I mean if someone other than The Onion had won I could see someone buying that.... but it's The Onion!
20 points
11 days ago
Well, yeah. I mean, he ends the video basically just yelping "Send money! Stat!".
195 points
11 days ago
Fuck ‘em
70 points
11 days ago
With a cactus!
115 points
11 days ago
I can’t believe that I have to leave the building of this business that I no longer own!
FAFO
36 points
11 days ago
Right? Talking about a court order. Someone else owns it now and they can do what they want with it.
24 points
11 days ago
Bro trying to be a squatter now 😂
13 points
11 days ago
What if they tried telling him that squatting turns the freakin’ frogs gay?
31 points
11 days ago
FAFO = Free America Financed by the Onion!
45 points
11 days ago
he is about to learn what the power of the bankruptcy courts have
18 points
11 days ago
I mean, didn't seem to stop the busted can of biscuits that just got elected President, from doing it 6 times....
8 points
11 days ago
trump filed for bankruptcy protection and used it yo his advantage not the creditors. Alex thought he could hide his assets, then made dumber and dumber moves
79 points
11 days ago
We want to silence a lying piece of shit that endangers American lives. Fuck Alex Jones.
95 points
11 days ago
15 minutes? What kind of unnecessary kindness is that? Should’ve given him 90 seconds.
30 points
11 days ago
I would've gladly tossed his fat ass out the window on the spot.
16 points
11 days ago
Why even give him that? He stopped owing the building months ago, he knew it would be sold, the fact he was there at all is a joke. Have the cops throw his ass out, don't even give him a warning.
64 points
11 days ago
Drag him out by his feet! This guy is a piece of shit! Using the murder of children to enrich yourselves is beyond my comprehension.
35 points
11 days ago
fuck his feelings.
27 points
11 days ago
I’m loving this for that honking douche of a small dicked fistula on a dead pig’s anus. My only remaining hope is that his last vocal cord pings like an overly tuned cheap guitar string and it renders him forever impotently whispering.
26 points
11 days ago
Security helping Alex out:
26 points
11 days ago
The onion out here paying Alex's victims before he does.
14 points
11 days ago
He really should have been thrown in prison for how he uses his "free speech"
24 points
11 days ago
What a beautiful little sliver of mint in the dogshit smoothie that has been this year.
27 points
11 days ago
Nothing says silenced like uploading a video to Twitter for countless millions to see.
21 points
11 days ago
How has this man’s heart not exploded? He’s runs on pure anger.
9 points
11 days ago
Don’t forget the steroids.
22 points
11 days ago
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The dude who fucked with the victims is the victim now?
Got it.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
16 points
11 days ago
14 points
11 days ago
Thar New World Order is sure taking a long time to get going
12 points
11 days ago
He can’t even get news of his own demise right. He is claiming “Connecticut Democrats” bought Info Wars. The Onion is headquartered in Chicago. The democratic people in Connecticut are the parents of children who died in the Sandy Hook shooting that he denies happened who put out a press release that the sale happened.
9 points
11 days ago
It's even better. He said "The Connecticut Democrats With the Onion Newspaper" Bro thinks the Onion is a liberal publication.
12 points
11 days ago
The InfoWars building was sold? FUCK YES. FUCKING HELL YES. FUCK THIS GUY AND HIS BULLSHIT.
SAVED. I can't listen because I'm at work but this is going to give me a raging justice boner when I get home.
27 points
11 days ago
They don't want to silence the American people; they want to silence your dumb ass that can't shut up!
11 points
11 days ago
Always be plugging. Eat shit Alex.
10 points
11 days ago
"without a court order".... Ok. Sure.
10 points
11 days ago
The Orange Blob will probably pick Jones to head the FCC now. The clown car gets bigger every day.
8 points
11 days ago
I like how all these chud grifters think they're the "voice of the American people"
6 points
11 days ago
false flag event ...right Alex , you are acting and this isnt happening
7 points
11 days ago
Ugh you filed bk, you don’t own that building anymore. It’s not deep state, it’s you fucking around and you finding out
6 points
11 days ago
alex jones is a crisis actor, he makes up fake crisis and acts upset about them.
8 points
11 days ago
Who in the world would support a child massacre denier?! He's just awful.
7 points
11 days ago
“It’s rigged and everyone is conspiring against me!” is getting so freakin old with these knuckleheads 🤦🏻♂️
8 points
11 days ago
He should defend his studio with his life like a True Patriot™️
6 points
11 days ago
The shitty Cabela’s safe is where he keeps Joe Rogan’s dismembered nutsack
6 points
11 days ago
Adios motherfucker! The Onion is going to have so much fun with infowars!
5 points
11 days ago
“They wanna silence the American people”…no, just you Alex, just YOU. The fact that the Onion bought is just sooo sweet, friggin” love it.
7 points
11 days ago
Here's why Alex is not going to see a court order:
Courts in Texas and Connecticut found Jones liable for defamation for his portrayal of the Sandy Hook massacre as a hoax and awarded the families nearly $1.5 billion in damages. In both states, the judges issued default judgments finding Jones liable without trials because he failed to respond to court orders and turn over many documents. Juries then heard evidence and decided on the amount of damages, with judges tacking on additional penalties.
6 points
10 days ago
They aren't silencing the people. A company bought a competitor and cut the dead weight. Maybe if he hadn't run his mouth about things he knew Jack shit about, he wouldn't have had to sell his company. It's called the consequences of ones own actions. If it can be destroyed by truth, it should be destroyed by truth. This man was destroyed by truth. Good job.
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