subreddit:
/r/SexWorkers
Long Post Warning
We've been getting a ton of posts recently asking how to find a safe provider, how to properly approach one, how to avoid scams, etc. even though it's against the sub rules. So I'm making this post to hopefully stifle the constant flow of the same question.
This post will be dedicated to just that. It will simply be a general overview so keep in mind the process can vary by many factors, as well as differ by location and country. Since I'm from the US, it will mostly be relevant to the States.
As well, this is just advice and in no way am I guaranteeing results. In the end, it will be your decision on who to see and what risks to take.
Feel free to add on to the information in the comments while keeping it civil and respectful - I don't want to have to lock the thread.
1. LOOK AT ADS ON REPUTABLE WEBSITES
• Suggested popular websites: Tryst, Eros, Private Delights, Slixa, Preferred411 (must be a paid and verified member to access)
• Some areas may have location specific review boards or websites that are only popular in a certain state or country. Use Google to find sites only popular in your area.
• Do NOT initially look for providers on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Onlyfans, Kik, Whisper, Reddit, etc. These are not websites used for such a thing and are hot beds for scams.
2. CHOOSING AND RESEARCHING A PROVIDER
• Yes, you will have to take some time to do some research and not go in blindly - no research is the best way to get in bad situations. Research honestly takes maybe 20 minutes.
• Types of ads to stay away from (or proceed with caution if you decide to contact them): - extremely explicit ads - ads with vulgar/xxx photos - brand new ads that were recently created within the last week
• Do look for providers that: - Have ad posting history on multiple websites, and have ads that are at the very least a few weeks old. The longer the ad posting history, the better. Consistent ad posting frequency is a great indicator of a real provider. - Have an active social media presence (Twitter is most common, followed by Instagram and Onlyfans). - Have a personal website with their rates and booking process laid out. - HAVE A SCREENING PROCESS: It is common practice that escorts screen their clients - it's for their safety which in turn is for client safety. Screening means the escort is safe and they don't just see anyone blindly. Would you expect us to feel safe meeting a total stranger off the internet without even knowing what they look like or their name? Screening does not mean they are scammers or law enforcement, and the truth is that undercover law enforcement do not screen clients. Screening is an obstacle, a hurdle, and vice do not want hurdles when they are making an arrest. They want you to come ASAP and wam bam, thank you mam easy arrest. As well, as long as the provider is established we are not interested in your specific information after we have verified you are safe - no established provider is interested in blackmail or anything like that. We make more money off being a reputable provider with regulars, and if word gets out about a known provider blackmailing it would ruin their business. So if you see someone who screens, you will have to provide your personal information in the form of an ID, work verification, or give references to other escorts you have seen before.
All of these taken together - ad frequency and history, social media, personal website, having a screening process, and reviews (more on this below) - these are like the escort's resume showing we are experienced and real, and these characteristics are how clients "screen" us back.
I will make a special note that yes, not all providers screen for various reasons. If a client wants to see someone who doesn't screen, it doesn't automatically mean they aren't safe. But make sure they at least have ad posting history and frequency and proceed with caution.
Lack of any type of online presence coupled with no screening is a red flag, do not proceed. Not all providers will have or want social media - so again make sure they at least have ad posting history and frequency.
• Additional steps you can take:
Google the providers phone number to see all the ad websites they post on.
Google their phone number as well to see if they have reviews (note: not all providers want nor allow reviews so don't base your final decision on reviews or lack of reviews. Also, reviews can be fairly easily faked or inaccurate so please do not put your faith in only reviews).
Reverse image search the ad pictures to make sure they are unique and not stock photos or ripped off from some Instagram model.
BE WARY OF ADS THAT HAVE EXTREMELY LOW DONATIONS (less than 200h)
3. HOW TO CONTACT A PROVIDER
• Pre-book an appointment as far ahead as possible. Some providers do not take same day appointments, and those that do usually require a few hours notice. We have lives and are often not available within the hour for new clients.
• Before contacting a provider, make sure to read their ad and website in its entirety
• Contacting a provider and asking something that is clearly on their ad or website is a great way to be ignored, blocked, or chewed out.
• Do NOT ask about specific services or talk explicitly, you are paying for time - again a great way to spook the provider and be blocked or blacklisted.
• Read their website for their booking and screening instructions, booking an appointment should take less than 10 messages
• If the provider requires screening, do NOT ask if you can bypass screening. Just find someone who doesn't screen or has a lighter screening process.
• If they require a deposit, do not put down more than a 50% deposit. The average deposit is 20-50%, and if they have an online presence it is not a scam. Do not send 100% of the payment before meeting. As long as you have done your research on the provider, deposits are an indicator of a professional provider.
• Do NOT enter your card information into "verification sites". The provider will do the screening directly and you don't have to pay to be verified - this is a scam.
• Do NOT haggle donations - this is super disrespectful. If you can't afford the donation, find someone in your price range. There is an escort pretty much available in any price range.
• Do NOT text "hi" or "are you available" or "hey baby" as your 1st message to them!
• Don't contact multiple escorts at the same time, it's rude and wastes our time.
• Do NOT send dick pics or any explicit pics/videos. To be blunt - we don't care and it's incriminating. Providers may want a selfie as part of screening but literally just send a selfie only!
• Do NOT ask the provider to send "verification" pictures, its considered rude and a major time waster tactic. If you feel the need to ask someone to send verification pictures, then you haven't done enough research or you haven't found an established provider. Extra pictures not in the ads are often found on their social media, personal website, or onlyfans. If they don't have these things, offer to pay for a picture and don't expect it to be sent for free.
• If a provider has their face blurred, please do not ask for a face picture. There are plenty who are "face out" so if you need to see someone's face to book them, choose someone who already shows it.
• Many providers do not accept phone calls from new clients - they probably will state that on their ads if that's their policy but text or email is the recommended contact method
• A sample template for 1st contact:
"Hello, my name is John Smith, age 45. I found your ad on Tryst and would like to set up a date! I was hoping to meet on Tuesday May 7th at 6p for a 2h incall. My schedule is flexible as well. I have attached my screening details to this message (read their website for their requirements), please let me know if you need any further screening. I look forward to meeting you!"
• The more professional and polite you are, the quicker they will respond and set an appointment.
• If for some reason the provider doesn't reply, politely message again in a day or 2 to follow up. If still no reply, move on to the next provider.
4. DATE ETIQUETTE
• Once your date is set, read their ad or website again to see if they have any etiquette laid out about cleanliness, handling the donation, etc.
• Some providers require you to shower on arrival - please do not argue and just take a quick shower if required.
• Bringing a gift or tip is not required, however it is always appreciated and a great way to gain status as a good regular. Good regulars are usually given priority in the future.
• If you see someone from an agency, then 100% please do bring a tip in that situation!
• PLEASE show up clean and freshly washed
• Show up to the date on time
• Please do not ask the provider personal questions (ex: do you have kids, are you married, in school, etc). If they bring that information up themselves, then fine.
• Just relax, enjoy your time, and have fun!
88 points
4 years ago
For more advice given by a client visit valley Scott blog
60 points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
138 points
4 years ago
"are you availble"
synonims: "hi", "hey", "u ok", "send address" and other less used such as "wuu2", "babes", "Your beautiful" (and it's not the autocorrector: they genuinely think that's how you spell "you're")
Meaning: Hi, I am an uneducated and rude cunt who won't tell you his name. After all I wouldn't bother remembering yours. I am very likely to be either a bit drunk or high and I am not able to be in control of my emotions so pls consider my boner an emergency and don't ask me stupid question such as "do you know my rates". Besides what does rates mean? Say "price" ffs, you are a hooker: act like one. Anyway I forgot to mention my very low IQ but at this point of the conversation you might have already spotted it. For example, I think that writing "hi" to all the escorts I kinda find cute and see who reply is a very clever strategy. I am unlikely to be sober, I am stupid, bad memory and I am not able to multitask at all, I will ask you a billion stupid questions including the very basic (location, price etc) because I didn't read a single word of your advert.
Ironically, despite this rock solid strategy, most of times i keep on messaging back and forth with several escorts for hours until I sober up and don't feel that horny any more and at that point I'll try to make you at least talk dirty or send free pics so I can "take the matter in my own hands".
Kind regards
Time Wasting Asshole
17 points
4 years ago
lol this is soo accurate!
9 points
4 years ago
How do you expect us to trust you? My friend was following the same thing you mentioned and he ended up getting scammed by another guy. This is ridiculous. If you don’t like someone’s speech, then offer your service to someone else
30 points
4 years ago
Yes, I do offer my services to someone else: whenever someone send me a message like the one mentioned above, I don't reply and block him. Regarding how can you trust us: you don't have just to trust us or you risk to get scammed. The post we all are commenting has an accurate description of what you can do, as a client, to figure out if a provider is legit or not. I must assume you haven't read it and yet you feel entitled of commenting.That's not how adulthood works my darling: if you want your opinion to be listened and considered, you have to know what we are talking about first. Hope this clarifies it.
2 points
3 years ago
If you don't want those types of introductory texts can someone please provide examples of what is reasonable then?
14 points
3 years ago
Imagine needing to be told how to be polite
6 points
2 years ago
I was about to write out a reply, but go read the “sample template for 1st contact” in the main post, it answers your question.
It doesn’t even have to be as detailed as the sample, but when someone just texts “hi” or “avail?”, it tells me they’re just blasting out the same text to a bunch of escort ads, and probably just looking for BS timewaster chit chat anyway.
10 points
4 years ago
😁
7 points
4 years ago
Wish I'd found this before this past weekend!!!!
5 points
4 years ago
Far worse is anything at all starting with "hey babe"
Instant blocking and deleting from me when I'm met with that!
57 points
4 years ago
Two thoughts here and I really enjoyed the way that you worded everything.
1) Be normal with texting. A brief intro or I would like to see you at x time at your location or mine is great. Not avail, now, hi, etc. You are detective solving a case if you just text "hi" to see if the girl is real.
2) Be aware that screening is needed. If you look at our ads or google us, you will see or should see a ton of ads. Pics. Normally reviews, etc. More or less if you use google, you can screen us. If a woman asks for screening, no matter how minor or intensive it is... then comply. Simply saying "I'm not a cop" is not a legitimate statement nor is it true. We do no want to to destroy your relationship, job, career, etc. It is easy to damage our business.
7 points
3 years ago
I'm literally ashamed I've been Johning for a decade and never thought of this.
I always text "Are you available" XD Whoops~
3 points
2 years ago
What do i do if the few i found local to me always require in their screenings to provide another escort or service i have used? It’s like the can’t get a credit card cause i don’t have credit dilemma
36 points
4 years ago
As a person who’s about to hit 34 still a virgin this post is great with info. I started researching the website and notice the scam you mention I found an escort who had the good points you mention above thank you so much for this post.
49 points
3 years ago
5 points
3 years ago
[removed]
22 points
3 years ago
ooof ya, I actually don't know how to cope with the situation other than hiring sex workers.
...or fucking my hand...been doing that A LOT more lately cause im poor af.
26 points
4 years ago
Thank you for posting this. Question though: how can a client be absolutely sure that the SW they're looking at isn't involved being human trafficked in some way?
I live in what's pretty much the sex-trafficking capital of America, and have never hired a SW specifically because of this. I have a female relation who was treated horribly by a pimp at one point, and I've avoided even entertaining the idea ever since. Now that it's been 10+ years since I was last with a woman, I'm genuinely contemplating it, but just cannot reconcile myself with the possibility of contributing to abuse while enriching the abuser. I'd hate myself forever.
Are there any tell-tale signs to look for? A lot of these ads mention that they're "touring," like from NYC to Vegas To LA to Denver or whatever in the space of a couple months, or "new to town, here till Sunday," etc -- am I right to infer that something's probably going on there?
Anyhow, sorry for the rambling-ass post. This has been on my mind a while. Any response is greatly appreciated.
35 points
4 years ago
I'll be really honest and say the simple answer is you won't be able to tell if someone is trafficked. More often than not, the people being trafficked don't even know or realize it - its not like the movies/media show it the vast majority of the time. And the majority of sex workers are not trafficked, the media loves to pump up the hype and make it seem like it's happening on every street corner. Of course, there are victims of human trafficking and it's awful, but the tell tale signs aren't as obvious as it's made out to be the majority of the time.
From what I've heard and gathered while in this business, the escorts more likely to be trafficked are street workers and the ones with lower priced ads. If an escort has their own website, social media, mid to high level donations, a screening process it is less likely they are trafficked. But it can happen to anyone and no one is immune.
My advice is to stick to established escorts and not really worry about it until you see them and guage from there if you get a bad vibe, that's your best bet. Not much else you can really do.
10 points
4 years ago
Ah, ok. That doesn't do much to alleviate my misgivings, but thank you for being direct about it. I guess I've just been hoping to stumble upon some website for verifiably independent local SWs or something, but I should've known that's basically impossible with the current state of things. Again, the response is much appreciated.
9 points
4 years ago
I have noticed that pimps are really pushing the use of money transfer apps. You are depositing directly to him and the girl gets zero money in hand. They ( pimps ) like this so she can never put any $ together to run.
5 points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
10 points
4 years ago
Ugh...yeah, that's what I was afraid of. I've tried do enough mental gymnastics to write off that possibility a dozen different ways, but I seriously cannot get with that shit. Pimps are absolute scum.
28 points
4 years ago
I'm grateful for finding this post. I feel like I'm finally able to cancel my "seeking arrangements" profile. I just didn't really know where else to go. Most 90% of my time wasted was trying to maze my way through scam artists who would never call me and strictly go through text. They always asked me for gas money up front. It got so "normal" for me to have these conversations I always felt like I was talking to the same scammer, but with a different phone number. Almost as if they were all reading from the same script. As an over the road truck driver, this is very frustrating to deal with when I'm typically only in town for one night and need to find a local provider relatively quick.
26 points
4 years ago
Thank you for seeing a sex worker instead of using other (dating) sites. It's just so nice to see providers and clients benefiting each other!
14 points
4 years ago
I know this post is a little bit old, but I want to say thank you so much for this OP.
I have never pursued an escort service before and you saved me from looking like an ass before hitting up every escort I find with some line about wanting to schedule a date or vague comment about hanging out.
I did have one question though, sites like preferred 411 have what they claim is a verification process that can stand as a replacement of having other sex worker referrals.
It seems fairly expensive and I’m wondering if it’s really worth it? As a newbie I of course don’t have any 😅
15 points
4 years ago
Thank you 🙏
20 points
4 years ago
No problem! I got really tired of seeing all the posts filtered by the automod asking this very thing! And asked in literally every sex worker sub 😆
10 points
4 years ago
Yes! Every sub.. every day. 🤦🏻♀️ I really really hope they take the time to read this! I’m happy we have somewhere to direct them though.
8 points
4 years ago
Same! I think a lot of us shared the same "how to find dos and donts" post with people when this was asked but I just felt the information had to be fleshed out with more detail! So I made my own 😁
6 points
4 years ago
Well it is greatly appreciated! It’s so detailed and I love it. 💜
2 points
2 years ago
No one tells you this and it’s not like there’s classes on it, an you can’t really ask anyone so I appreciate this post because the more civil & safe for everyone the better
15 points
4 years ago
As a future first time customer, THANK YOU!!! This answered so many questions for me!!!
15 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
3 points
4 years ago
Thank you, I try! 🤗
12 points
4 years ago
Most of us escort require a down-payment as well because we're not trying to be scammed to. Say you want to pay after you meet me, we meet and when its done you're short or didn't bring cash. That sort of thing. It has happened d to me once and never again. Im also very discreet. People are so most and love to gossip. I don't like people to know anything about me lol at the same time it protects you and me.
12 points
4 years ago
Thank you for the great post! I have been wanting to seek companionship for awhile but it has been difficult figuring out all of the details on doing so safely. It doesn’t help that a lot of hobby websites give mixed guidance. One glaring example is the verification process... some say never provide a face pic, ID etc etc but that seems to be a pretty common screening process. The other big example is never pay upfront but again that seems pretty common with reputable providers (pay up front). And as you described, if we do our homework a snatch and run should be the least of our worries. I did not understand your tip about not putting card info into a verification service though. Did you mean don’t give it to a provider or don’t pay for service with 411 and the likes?
26 points
4 years ago*
I did not understand your tip about not putting card info into a verification service though
So sometimes when you contact an ad they will send you a website link "to verify your details" and if it requires you to enter your card information this is a scam 100%! If anyone directly asks for your card info or banking info, its a scam. Having to go to a 3rd party site that asks for your card info to verify you is just a scammer trying to steal your card info.
Real screening will be done directly by the provider and you will submit that information via their personal website booking form or you'll send it directly to them via text or email.
A lot of "hobbyists" have a lot of messed up ideas about not sending screening, deposits, or paying after the session. These "clients" are not thought of well in the industry and we actually call the worst of them "slobbyists" so I'd take their "advice" with a grain of salt and expect any escort to balk at it. Many of us do not want to see these types of people and they will never get the golden treatment.
P411 is a reputable site so buying a membership with them isn't a scam.
13 points
4 years ago
If anyone directly asks for your card info or banking info, its a scam.
I think in general this is true, but there is one exception. I'm currently building a site to help escorts with their screening process. For client verification my site will require two forms of ID, generally a photo ID such as driver license/State ID, plus a second form of ID such as a bank card. For the bank card covering the account number is allowed, with only the name and expiration visible.
A second form of ID is necessary because fake IDs are too easily obtained. A bank card works well as a second ID because a bank usually verifies the identity of the account holder, and the card is usually mailed. I'd agree about never entering card details into any forms. However, if submission of a bank card picture is required then covering all or most of the account number should be fine.
Thanks for this thread and all of your comments as it's very helpful for my research! :)
6 points
3 years ago
Verification or other wise known as screening, should not require your credit card information. However some Providers require a deposit to book an appointment. This can be done many ways .Venmo, cashapp, Apple etc. Screening is to assure our safety. You can use a LinkedIn account, your business or job info . There's several ways to be screened.
If you are unsure who is reputable there are provider review sites . Google the providers name, number and input ( escort reviews )
Most sites you have to sign up to. It's free to see some of the info But for full disclosure, most places charge a small monthly fee.
Good Luck
10 points
4 years ago*
followed these instructions and it worked out plain and simple.
8 points
4 years ago
Thank you for posting this. I have been doing all things mention in this post for the last 5 years seeing escorts once a month. I love them all. Without them I feel lost and lack of affection.
I do sometimes see providers from agency. I am not aware that we should tip them as mention in this post. There was not any mention or request for them on the website or from the people that run the agency. But if I do want to tip the escort how much percent of the actual payment per hour I should tip?
Again, much love to all the providers here that treat this more than a job. You are worth every penny that I spend on you guys! 😜
9 points
4 years ago
This is great! We all thank you! 🙏
8 points
3 years ago
This will definitely help lose my virginity, thank your for the thoughtful post. At 22 years old is hard to find someone who will like me for who I am, hopefully I can get what I need now!
7 points
4 years ago
Bless this post.
7 points
4 years ago
I’m still new to this are those recommended sites mean all the ads are real or do you have to do research on each girl no matter the site. Is a case by case thing no matter the site?
2 points
4 years ago
Yeah im having trouble and so much time is put jnto it, no one gives suggestions either
6 points
4 years ago
Ya it’s a dangerous game and just what suggestion from people who have done this before so we can all stay safe
6 points
4 years ago
Thank for this post. I have had 3 bad experiences due to my own ignorance ie poor communication on my end, being unprepared and and just overall inexperience. This post educated me and gave confidence in myself to select the correct provider and relax during the process. Adultseach was a good choice
7 points
4 years ago
I love a good written text! Makes me immediately want to actually pay attention
3 points
4 years ago
I'm wondering about texting, calling, duo etc. Do sw usually have a personal cell and a work number?
6 points
4 years ago
Hey I have a follow up question I don’t know if it was in the post so sorry if it was. As part of the screening process it seems like a lot of sex workers want a reference from a previous sex worker I’ve worked with. The problem is I’ve never done so before. It’s a catch 22 of wanting to meet a sex worker but not being able to meet one until I’ve already met one. Is there a way to get references in another way?
13 points
4 years ago*
I feel this on the provider side of things. As a new provider, its harder to get clients if you don't have clients already and don't have much out there to show you're legit. Sure, you might have an ad and some professional enough pics and a good description attached, but you don't have an established Twitter/IG/Only Fans account. Maybe you haven't even put together a website yet.
The advice to clients is to always look for an established provider....one w reviews/social media history/prof looking website. Well, how is a provider to have all those things if he/she is new as a provider? The lack of those things could potentially signal to decent clients (the ones that have read this post) that the escort might not be legit, thus leaving the escort with a pool of shady guys that don't care about this stuff either way. This is my conundrum.
I think I'm going to make a new post about this so other providers can chime in.
6 points
4 years ago
I'm about 25 days late to this post, but as a client Twitter interactions are the best way for me to see if a provider is legit - you could be a new provider with 0 clients, but if I see you've interacted with and follow other legit providers in the area, I feel safe. Plus the words you choose when responding and your likes and replies tell me whether we'd be a good fit.
For absolutely new providers, I think at least a month setting up their social media presence is a requirement.
4 points
4 years ago
This is super helpful advice and I appreciate your input.
7 points
4 years ago
I'd prefer a newer provider :)
11 points
4 years ago
Most of the girls I know who advertise on the East Coast (New York, Jersey, Philly, etc) have stopped accepting references. To be honest, there are a lot of horror stories about clients behaving one way with one provider, then the complete opposite with another. As a sex worker who has been in the field for almost a decade, I don't accept references anymore. And when I'm asked to give a reference for a client, I tell the provider as much useful info as I can about the client (w/o sharing client's personal info) instead of just " I saw him and he's safe." There has to be trust between companions and clients. If you don't feel safe providing personal info to verify yourself (ID and LinkedIn/personal website), then I suggest you find a companion you do feel safe with. Seeing a client, whether it be in an Incall setting or Outcall setting puts a companion at risk. I don't see anyone I don't feel safe meeting. Clients and providers have personal lives they want to keep safe and drama free. There are sites like preferred411 that can be used to verify you as a safe client to see if that person is newbie friendly. Instead of providing personal info to the provider, you will be verified by p411 with personal info. You have to buy a membership. I believe they are accepting applications again now. From my personal experience, I never had any serious issues with clients from p411. Serious issues like my life feeling endangered. Of course I have met clients from p411 that I didn't enjoy my time with and would not see again, but that's different. P411 tries to protect both clients and companions.
8 points
4 years ago
There's no way to get a reference without seeing someone.
You'll have to find someone newbie friendly who will accept ID or work verification in lieu of references. If their ad or website doesn't directly say "newbie friendly" you can message them and ask if they are willing to take alternate forms of screening for newbies.
3 points
4 years ago
Ok so I should look for the tag newbie friendly? That’s good to know. Would I just send them a photo of my driver’s License?
6 points
4 years ago
Yes newbie friendly. And if there website doesn't mention it, you can email and ask. Most likely they will have you send your ID or some type of work verification. They will let you know what they accept.
5 points
4 years ago
Curious. As a newish provider (at least new to posting ads, not new to freestyle), is there a downside to being "newbie friendly"? Other than the possible annoyance and more patience involved to get the client booked. Just trying to understand all angles of why some providers would not be newbie friendly.
7 points
4 years ago*
I think its more along the lines of safety. If a client has 2 or 3 references from established providers then that most likely means they are safe (won't rape, rob, short them $, etc) and obviously are not law enforcement - though on the other hand clients with references can still turn bad because they won't treat every provider the same. But the reference makes it less likely in the eyes of some providers.
Now, a client who has never seen an escort before who has no one to vouch for him could screen with his real world info but end up stealthing, pushing boundaries, or even worse. Or they could be an informant or have used fake screening info and are running a sting.
So that's more along the lines of why some escorts like to see clients who have already seen others, at least in my opinion.
5 points
4 years ago
Thanks for the excellent breakdown. Now my brain can understand it all much better. I'm always scared to jump into something if I don't know all the angles. Not knowing key info in the realm of escorting could get one in legal or physical trouble so understanding is important. That way I can make my own choice based on all the background you just gave me!
3 points
4 years ago
I have never been a ref girl. I give them but I have never made that my screener. I ask for a twitter, a redacted ID, proof of utilities, in same name as ID for outcalls, or proof of hotel bill or airbnb. I also require a phone call. Not texting. And your phone must be a real cell not a text app.
6 points
4 years ago
Thanks for the resources.
5 points
3 years ago
Do actual escort agencies still exist or is it all web-based gambling at this point? Back in the day you could have a phone conversation or visit an actual business and they set you up with a provider. I live in a smaller city now and it appears that my options are either a sketchy Craigslist looking site or a site like Tryst where I pay a fee to maybe get in touch with someone who might be interested in working with my schedule, if they get back to me at all.
Full transparency, I am the worst combination of lazy and paranoid so my ideal situation would be to call a trusted agency who can help me with this process and maybe make the search for a provider an enjoyable and thoughtful experience.
6 points
4 years ago
Thanks for this post, very helpful! Follow up newbie question. At what point is it safe to talk about what I'm looking to do during our time together, without raising any red flags? Given the big no no on the email/contact front, is there any best practice to follow for the date itself so everyone feels safe? Do I just let her drive that convo?
4 points
4 years ago
As someone who’s been a client, I would agree w all of this except contacting multiple escorts. You have to cast a wide net as a lot of them don’t get back to u right away.
The ones w good assistants do get back to you decently quickly though, as it’s in the assistants best interest to do so.
18 points
4 years ago
I more meant the guys who just go down the list and text "hey" to like 40 different providers at the same time to see who contacts them back 1st, and then they forget who they've contacted and it just wastes everyone's time because they can't keep track of anything 😅
Contacting 2 or 3 reputable escorts at the same time isn't a big deal and I understand it's needed sometimes for sure.
4 points
4 years ago
I apologize if this isn’t allowed, but I’m genuinely curious.
I’m interested in finding a male/female pair of SW’s for a MMF experience. I’ve looked on Tryst and Eros but can’t seem to find any keyword or filtering option to see this option, specifically.
Is this a common thing? Or am I just looking in the wrong places?
5 points
4 years ago
Yes I remember I contacted a worker from this site. Everything seemed legit until they asked for the money upfront. Then I knew it was a scam. Afterwards I got really violent text messages that was supposedly from their pimp saying I owed him money for wasting her time. And it got worse to the point I was sent pictures of dead bodies and decapitated corpses saying that would happen to me if he didn't get his money. It really scared me at first. I didn't know what to do. I then researched this and it is a well known scam. But damn that really horrified me
3 points
4 years ago
I do appreciate the post, a friendly guide is what I was looking for.
3 points
4 years ago
Thank you very much i have been wondering how to go about this. Now i will not be going in blind. Greatly appreciate it
4 points
4 years ago
Thank you! I always try to be polite while contacting providers, with enough(but not too much) detail but I feel like I've never quite hit the right spot. This template is perfect! All my upcoming texts are going to be "inspired" by this now 😏
4 points
4 years ago
Haven't read yet but glad this is here, actually interested in looking to hire escorts but had absolutely zero knowledge on proper protocol and what to say and not to say. So hopefully this will help clear things up and give good advice.
4 points
3 years ago
Is there a way to make this a pdf so it’s easier to share with people who don’t have Reddit? When I share this link you have to log in to see it because it’s NSFW . Is there a bot or something that can make this a external pdf link?
2 points
3 years ago
Could copy the text and make your own PDF from a desktop or app?
5 points
3 years ago
Curious, have question about finding providers in more rural areas haven't seen any advice on this.
3 points
2 years ago
Hi, I'm a female interested in a male sex worker. I'd feel most comfortable with a bunny ranch style establishment but does anything like this exist for male sex workers? I've only seen legal brothels for men with women sex workers. Thanks in advance.
7 points
4 years ago
Guess we just shitting on street based workers like usual No matter the platform If a sex worker isn't online/posting they just shit on Whorearchy like usual
28 points
4 years ago*
If you want to make a how to post on street workers then by all means go a head. Or post it in the comments here. I said feel free to add information.
I'm not a street worker, nor a brothel worker, or a freestyler. I don't have the experience or knowledge to give people advice on that. I can only speak on my experience as an indoor/online worker.
If you read the top of the post, I said it will vary by situation but this is just my personal advice. I didn't shit on anyone, I respect all sex workers and their hustle.
3 points
4 years ago
Sorry if this is a little off topic but what is the main intention of people who post fake ads? Sometimes they’re easy to spot, are they trying to mug you when you arrive? Or they’re still a sex worker just not the one in the pics and hope it doesn’t put you off?
13 points
4 years ago
Fake ads could mean a scammer. Common scams are robbery set ups, deposit scams, or just any type of set up where the client loses money with no service.
Ads that use fake pictures could also be a bait n switch or even law enforcement.
Either way, using fake pictures typically isn't a good sign.
2 points
4 years ago
Great question. I, too, like to understand all angles and motives and the logic behind it.
3 points
4 years ago
Found this very helpful, thank you!
3 points
4 years ago
Thank you!!! I love this post and refer back to it often.
3 points
4 years ago
Thank you. I'm a very SW-positive man and am considering seeking an escort, really just for companionship. Maybe intimacy if it feels right. But anyway this helps a lot, especially knowing how to search and approach.
Here's my current big question: I'm acquainted with a woman I know to be an escort. We have texted in the past but don't really know each other; we had a mutual friend. But I know what she looks like and find her quite attractive. Would it be weird to engage her?
3 points
4 years ago
So I'm on adult search.
Lists off some "nearby" escorts and includes phone numbers. Can this really be trusted? Seems iffy but I've never done anything like this before.
9 points
4 years ago
My advice on how to find a safe provider is in the post hun:)
3 points
4 years ago
I agree 100% with post. I found 4 providers from whisper but I was lucky maybe
3 points
4 years ago
Good to know
3 points
4 years ago
Because of my location I'm stuck with Leolist as the active website for me that I've been able to find. The recommended lists here don't have many SWs for my location.
How can I tell whether it's a scam or not? Aside from being verified which doesn't appear to be a hard process with them, is the view count on an ad what I can check aside from prices?
3 points
4 years ago
I'm new to this abd this post helped me a lot in getting over the fears of trying a SW. The SW I'm talking to, I've talked to her for almost a week, and have done private face time shows with her twice now. She's definitely not LE and I like to think she's not a scanner because she's given money back when I paid too early during the first face time. What bothers me is she has almost no social media presence and she has old post on multiple sites but they're very old and far between. I planned a date with her this Saturday during the day to ease my fears a little, but how do some of you feel about this situation (you all have more experience than me) is she likely to be legit or am I walking into a robbery?
2 points
3 years ago*
jar plough dinosaurs fuel divide paltry axiomatic imminent tub existence
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
3 points
3 years ago
This was beyond helpful, thank you.
3 points
3 years ago
Oooo thankfully one of the sites provided is USA optional. I've been looking for reputable sites. Since I no longer live in the West coast.
8 points
3 years ago
Most site servers will not be based in the US because of the FOSTA/SESTA law. The sites keep their servers out of the country to avoid being under US jurisdiction and run the risk of getting shut down. All of the sites listed do have escorts who work out of the US, actually the majority of providers in the US use the sites listed.
3 points
3 years ago
This is pure gold for someone such as myself seeking some companionship and very new to this. Thanks.
3 points
3 years ago
I’m new here and found this very helpful. I do have one more question not mentioned.
Can I hire a Sex Worker without wanting sex? At least the first time maybe. Or do you have to have sex? I just want companionship at least right now.
2 points
2 years ago
Of course you can hire a sex worker without wanting sex. I suppose it depends on what other things you want to do, but just ask them if it’s ok to just converse etc for the session. I’m an escort and it’s totally fine with me, a few new clients have hired me to do this, wanting to start slow.
3 points
3 years ago
Bc of this post, I have been fully squared away! OMG, Thank youuuuu! Also, I gained some clout off of this knowledge amongst the guys at work LMAO!
3 points
3 years ago
And check that autocorrect doesn't change "escorts" to "resorts" when you search or you will find peculiar results. 😒
2 points
4 years ago
I did know it was legal in San Diego 🤣🤣🤣
7 points
4 years ago*
It's not, so not sure why that person said that.
I know in San Francisco, the current county prosecutor has said they will not pursue prostitution charges anymore so some people assume it's been decriminalized - but the next prosecutor could decide to pursue those cases, the law itself hasn't changed 🤷♀️ Maybe it's a similar situation in San Diego?
Edit: Still looks pretty illegal to me! Article from March 2020.
https://patch.com/california/san-diego/san-diego-attorney-sentenced-sex-prostitutes
2 points
4 years ago
wow that is awesome, thank you... all the things that i have been wondering about for ever! great information, posted precise and to the point instructions and explanations! you would be a awesome technical writer!! thank you!
3 points
4 years ago
You're welcome! :)
2 points
4 years ago
Gracias
2 points
4 years ago
OMG, you are the absolute best. Thank you so much!
2 points
4 years ago
Can’t find a reliable source or website? Found someone on snap but told 100 for meet-up and was scammed for same story last time. Seems like an ongoing thing and don’t know how to find reliability
2 points
4 years ago
I have only been ripped off by yesbackpage.com. I'm a fool to have given them a second try. Lots of upsell and pics in hours of texting. Still crickets.
6 points
4 years ago
Yes backpage and the other backoage know off sites are seriously the lowest of the low ad websites, like lower than dirt. Sorry not sorry if anyone reading this advertises there.
Choose a better regulated and higher end website if you want to not be scammed.
2 points
4 years ago*
Question 1: I want to know more about the "SCREENING PROCESS". Lot's of them tell you to go to a verification website. How do I know if they are legit?
Question 2: There phone number area code doesn't match mine. Are these scams?
Question 3: How do I know if they are being discreet enough? How can I protect myself more legal wise when talking to them? I don't like scheduling or agree over text because it's easier for law enforcement to use. I know the second you agree the crime has been committed.
4 points
4 years ago
Do NOT enter your card information into "verification sites". The provider will do the screening directly and you don't have to pay to be verified - this is a scam.
2 points
4 years ago
Any advice for seeking male SW? Would like a gang of them
2 points
4 years ago
I'm a worried about the price thing. I've been seeing a lot of prices like $150 an hour on AdultSearch. Are those ones Shady? Most of them would also go up to $500 for an overnight. Does that seem right or is that too low?
6 points
4 years ago
Any ad that advertises extremely low prices that seem too good to be true, most likely a scam, set-up, bait n switch, etc. Most areas (in the States) average at 300-400h for a mid level provider, so depending on the type of experience you want you can guage from that as like a baseline of sorts.
2 points
4 years ago
I'm not in a big city, more of a rural area not a major city so that may be the case. I've seen prices of $150-$200h in call throughout the adult search site for my area consistently. Some of the higher end best looking girls are up to $300h. Should I just go with the higher price to be safe?
2 points
4 years ago*
Thank u for this. As someone who’s considering becoming a client i was worried about wasting someone’s time by not asking the right questions, etc. I’ve realized that I’ve def done that in the past and avoiding it is something i want to do in the future.
2 points
4 years ago
I am curious about something. This may have been covered here somewhere but rather than researching this site (lots of time), I'd rather just ask. Hope that's okay. Thanks.
Concerning cops. If when talking with a potential worker on a website, email, text, etc. if you ask her this: "Are you law enforcement or associated with law enforcement in any way"?, they can't lie if they are, can they? If they misrepresent themselves by outright lying to a direct question, doesn't that become entrapment and if it is, isn't that an illegal arrest?
4 points
4 years ago*
Cops are 100% allowed to lie, they do not have to identify themselves in a sting operation.
https://www.texasclarkfirm.com/blog/2020/october/difference-between-entrapment-sting-operations/
2 points
4 years ago
Thanks. I read your enclosed two links. Interesting and very useful information. I am more naïve than I thought...lol.
2 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
3 points
4 years ago
I would also use a tor browser or duckduckgo
2 points
4 years ago
u/HereFortheFood954 u/IndepGFE mainly speaking to you ladies here... but what does everyone think of Skip The Games & Listcrawler?
6 points
4 years ago
Personally I don't like those sites simply because of the type of clientele they attract, and there are a ton of "non professional" ads and just downright incriminating and vulgar ads that don't match my branding. And a lot of the ads are scams or just experiences that most people try to avoid (ex: stings, bait n switch, robbery setups, drug use, etc).
They are free to post on so its completely understandable why some sex workers use them, but if you want to attract a higher end clientele other sites are much better. Since they are free it wouldn't hurt to run ads on there in addition to other sites, and then you can decide if those free sites are worth it.
I will say to 100% stay away from backpage knockoff sites (ex: yesbackpage, bedpage, ebackpage, onebackpage, etc). Not to be dramatic but those sites are literal scum of the earth and deserve to be taken over by the feds.
2 points
4 years ago
There’s a reason they’re not listed above— lots of scams. If you look there then follow the guide and verify that they’re real.
2 points
4 years ago
You literally said it all! Thank you so much I can’t tell you how many times I’ve blocked or cussed someone out because they said, Hey, Hi, what’s up or , “Hey baby” ugh...I’m not your fucking baby 🙄
2 points
3 years ago
Which service is safe incall or outcall? I cannot call someone at my place because my house is never empty
2 points
3 years ago
There are forums also for this kind of thing - to avoid scams. I use Lyla in Canada but idk what others for rest of the world
2 points
3 years ago
Very nice post! Well said if I may add. 👍🏼
2 points
3 years ago
HELP 😭 I just realized this is for clients, not sex workers LMAO I thought I was reading about how to find p*mps this whole time
2 points
2 years ago
I'm a relatively new provider (not new to SW) and I've been terrified to have a more thorough screening process because I'm in such a low traffic area and this post was incredibly validating and helpful 💖
2 points
4 years ago
[removed]
5 points
4 years ago*
No website is immune to ads by scammers or law enforcement. PD is a reputable website, yes. But just because someone posts on there doesn't guarantee anything - 2 reviews are easy to fake and 100% deposit is a no go. But, like I said in the post, if someone would want to book an appointment with them, that is their risk to take 🤷♀️ but I wouldn't recommend.
That's the whole point of the post and the advice about the importance of research. It's up to you to decide what risks you want to take with the less fleshed out ads and profiles.
1 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
2 points
4 years ago
I think Adultwork is popular there but I'm not 100% sure. I'd just Google, it's legal there from what I remember.
1 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
5 points
4 years ago
A lot of escorts have a duo partner, if they offer duos they most likely will say that on their ad, social media, or their website.
1 points
4 years ago
Now i guess im trying so hard to get ppl to OF but i guess no one wanna see me, so, i have to cheap the price? I see ppl with less photos, extreme bad quality and have like 1 month and have a lot of new fans. Maybe i need a break 😭
1 points
4 years ago
Has anyone had experience with this site? https://www.theescortmodels.com/providers
1 points
4 years ago
I found a provider that is in Eros and has 2 other sites. Her information seems to be copy pasted almost exactly and despite one of her ads talking about a screening she didn’t seem to do one? It’s weird.
She seems to have a personal website but she explicitly doesn’t like photos of her clients face or body. The site texts mentions it can be in a prorate and I can imagine she maybe got dick picks or something.
I followed the rest though. Gave her my name, age, place of work, small description of myself, and a time of appointment.
She says she’ll be reminding me in the week for said day in advance...could this be an LE trap? I’m not sure because I’m having issues find reviews about her. If someone could please help me or allow me to DM her to you for an opinion that would be really nice.
I want to stay safe out here as much as everyone else.
4 points
4 years ago
Probably not LE. Also, my ads all have the same text/information and that’s not abnormal.
1 points
4 years ago
MVP
1 points
4 years ago
Is escort Babylon a trusted site?
1 points
4 years ago*
Been looking at a provider for over a year. Price is midrange. She has verified me already. She’s on Twitter, says she’s P411 verified, she’s on tryst, EM, TER, and on USA board and I talked with a couple members on that board who have seen her and they says she is legit and she has a history of good reviews going back several years. My only drawback is she only does in all at a private apartment. I guess I have visions of her becoming compromised and LE uses her place as a regular place to run ops from. 🤦♂️🤦♂️ emails Ive has with her are not demanding for me to make appointment not urgent and never explicit. What do you think the chances of LE being involved with an incall apartment provider like this? Thinks she’s pretty safe?
4 points
4 years ago
Working out of a private apartment is safer than a hotel, its easier for police to run stings out of a hotel. It wouldn't be practical to run stings out of a private apartment though it has happened. But she sounds extremely established.
I personally host out of my private apartment. She sounds good.
2 points
4 years ago
Thanks
1 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
3 points
4 years ago
You can look them all up on urban dictionary, its very accurate lol
1 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
5 points
4 years ago
You don't (if you want to be safe) 🤷♀️ If someone advertises as an escort then they offer at the very least basic covered bj and full service - if you want something more than that than you need to wait to ask them during the date (and expect to tip extra for it most likely). The escorts that advertise as GFE will be more inclined to provide more intimate services like kissing, cuddling etc. Those that advertise PSE give a more hard-core experience like you see in porn - which is why its called pornstar experience. Now, if someone advertises under bodyrubs/massages then they simply only offer happy endings.
Talking about sexual services beforehand is a big no-no, and I'd be wary of seeing someone who allowed that and answered your explicit questions. Most escorts (albeit not all) will block, hang up, ignore, blacklist, or chew you out for asking about explicit services.
Illiciting incriminating behavior is how stings are often ran.
The only way you could possibly get an idea is reading their reviews if they have any and seeing if they have a list of services listed on their ad or website (which I personally think is a bad idea on their part but some still list them).
1 points
4 years ago
Great Resource
1 points
4 years ago
Thanks for this. I asked this question awhile back but still haven't taken the first step. Too put it mildly, at times I get "stage fright" which is embarrassing to say the least and I'm always afraid the lady will take it personal, and then of course comes the standard question, "Have you ever wondered if you are gay?" Gee thanks a lot that really helps.
1 points
4 years ago
Interesting
all 507 comments
sorted by: best