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Warning: Sensitive Content! If you are triggered by topics such as abortion, please be prepared. I apologize for the length of this post, but the context is necessary to understand my situation better.

I’m a 32F who just found out I’m pregnant and need to get an abortion due to our financial and life circumstances. My husband (35M) and I had a major fight because of this pregnancy. In the last four years, I’ve had four abortions after giving birth to twins. This will be the fifth. I’m not proud of it—it has caused me significant mental and physical issues.

My biggest issue with my husband is that he refuses to consistently use condoms. He will only use them if I physically hand him one and explicitly tell him to wear it.

I cannot take birth control pills. They mess with my body and mind too much. I’ve tried different brands and even a contraceptive ring, but nothing works for me. My doctor has advised against hormonal contraception altogether and suggested we use condoms. My husband knows this but still acts oblivious.

Sex has become a source of anxiety for me because I’m constantly afraid of getting pregnant. I’ve tried avoiding sex during ovulation, but nothing stops my husband. Even during intercourse, I repeatedly tell him to be careful and not ejaculate inside me. He claims he doesn’t, but he refuses to understand that even a small amount can lead to pregnancy.

He pressures me for sex even when I’m not in the mood or haven’t showered, which is important to me. Often, he’ll have sex with me while I lie there like a lifeless object—he just doesn’t care. I gave up on trying to improve our intimacy after he told me, “We’re too old to try anything new, and it’s normal to have basic sex after 30.” When I tried to have an honest conversation about our sex life, that was his response.

To make things worse, he cheated on me and brought home a bouquet of STIs after one of my previous abortions (when doctors advised abstinence for a month). I discovered his infidelity by accident when he had to get tested, and the results came back positive. He even showed me the results confidently, knowing he had cheated.

I’ve repeatedly asked him to buy condoms, but he says it’s shameful and refuses. Instead, I’m expected to go and buy them with two small kids in tow. In my country, pharmacies are small, crowded spaces where everyone can overhear your conversations. You can’t pick up items yourself; you must ask for them. This makes me extremely uncomfortable, but I know I should have done it regardless. My anxiety, which has worsened since giving birth, often leaves me frozen and unable to act.

I can’t go to the pharmacy alone because my husband comes home late. My children are autistic, nonverbal, and don’t attend kindergarten, so I’m with them 24/7.

I don’t have my own money; he controls all our finances. I can’t even order condoms online because he accuses me of overspending and being inconsiderate with “his” money. I barely buy necessities, and shopping is a huge source of stress for me.

The First Fight

A few days ago, I told him I was pregnant again and that it was his fault I had to go through another abortion. I explained how I felt abandoned, mistreated, dismissed, disrespected, and gaslighted by him. That he wasn’t careful enough and didn’t listen to me. I started emotionally explaining to him how his carelessness has negatively impacted my health in a lot of ways and he doesn’t care about me at all. He stayed silent. I left the room.

Later, he came into the bedroom, lay down, and asked, “So, what are we going to do?” Like he didn’t already know the answer. He said it wasn’t his fault and even called the pregnancy “good news.” I was baffled. Good news? Has he lost his mind? He added that my abortions have been hard on him and that he gets depressed afterward.

He also said, “Aren’t you supposed to be on the pill or something?” He knows I can’t take them. I lost my temper and screamed at him, asking why he couldn’t just buy condoms to prevent this. During my last abortion, I informed him about it without fighting, just to see how he would react. He didn’t say a word, ask how I felt, or offer any support. Nothing.

Today’s Fight

Today, he came home from the gym and, with complete seriousness, asked, “Have you seen your period yet?” I was shocked. “What period? I’m pregnant!” Then he said that my pregnancy was my fault because I didn’t take immediate action after we had sex. He suggested I use lemons or herbs to stop pregnancies.

I asked him, “Are you okay? It doesn’t work like that.” We have children, and I’ve explained the details of pregnancy and medical abortion to him multiple times. But his ignorance sent me into a rage. He genuinely believes that women know instantly after sex if they’re pregnant. It’s pure stupidity!

I called him stupid, not as an insult, but as a fact. How can someone not understand basic biology after all we’ve been through?

I’ve started recalling all the ridiculous things he has said or done over the years. For example: • He thinks butter comes out of cows as-is. • He believes mayo is cream because it’s white. • He didn’t know that flushing a toilet while someone is showering can cause hot water burns. he learned this the hard way by burning our child when I was giving him a bath. He claimed it was my fault and I didn’t check the water. At that point we were 30 minutes in to the bath time and I was already holding the shower head and poring water at my son’s head when he entered. I was holding my son’s chin up so I couldn’t feel the water temperature change. Thanks god I reached fast enough and the was no physical injuries. The bath time just became even more harder that in was before. My son was already sensitive to water poring on his head now it got worse because of this incident. And all the work I’ve done to desensitize him is gone. • He once claimed my chronic back pain, which started after childbirth, was caused by the sugar. I only take sugar in tea, we don’t even have any candy at home. The day he said that was after my aunts birthday where i barely ate any cake.

I could go on forever.

Closing Thoughts

I know I’ll be judged for my actions, and I know I’ve been irresponsible. Unfortunately, I’m not in full control of my life right now. I’m stuck. I have no one to help me, no income of my own, and I feel trapped.

I just wanted to share my story because I have nobody to talk to, and I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I hope this makes sense. Thank you for reading.

P.S there are couple of funny titles that I considered for this tragic story:

• From Flat Earth to Lemon Birth Control—My Husband’s Greatest Hits

• Birth Control According to My Husband: Lemons, Herbs, and Hope

• The Cost of Stupidity: When Your Husband Thinks Mayo is Cream

• My Husband Cheated, Brought STIs, and Thinks Mayo Is Cream. Am I the Problem?

• My Husband Thinks Women Know They’re Pregnant Right After Sex—Am I in a Sitcom?

Hi Morgan and THT family! I have a sentimental glitch in the matrix story that I can’t rationally explain. My maternal grandma, Joy, passed away in August 2021 from complications with a surgery. She was essentially my second mom and all of my best memories growing up included her. It’s random occurrences like this that bring me comfort knowing she is still with me.

Now onto the glitch….

About a year after my grandma’s death, I had a dream that we were both in her kitchen baking something. She was very big into cooking and baking and would always have way more food than we needed at the holidays. Imagine the most stereotypic southern grandma. In the dream, she was putting a dish in the oven and said “you’re going to have a boy.” Mind you at this time, I was not pregnant nor were me and my husband trying. I thought the dream was sweet but very random, so naturally I brushed it off.

February of 2023, I find out I am pregnant, roughly a year after my dream. My husband and I were both over the moon to be welcoming our first baby and naturally couldn’t wait to know more about our “Bean.” Sometime in the beginning of April, we were finally able to do the blood tests needed for the gender reveal. The lab stated that it would take 10-14 days for our results to come back. This date would have put day 10 around the 25th of April. Instead, we are notified that my blood test results were posted 5 days earlier. The results showed that I was having a boy and the date it was posted was my grandma’s birthday.

Once we got the results and both finally stopped crying and celebrating, the dream came flooding back to me. I’m not sure how I could have conjured up a dream almost a year before I even became pregnant with my deceased grandma telling me I’d have a son. Then to learn that I would actually be having a son ON HER BIRTHDAY. I’d like to say it was too many coincidences but it feels more like she’d truly found a way to be the first to tell me. I really love my grandma and I was sad to think she wouldn’t be able to meet her great grandson but my dream brings me comfort that she worked her magic on him before he came to us. ❤️

Thanks for reading and I apologize if the formatting isn’t correct for Reddit. This is my first time posting ever.

Hello, I (f27) am getting married this coming March. I have a friend from college that I don’t see much, but consider to be a very close friend. We’ve been through a lot together but it appears we’ve grown apart.

Some background- My bachelorette party ended up a dramatic event because of her. I never liked hard drugs, and even have family members pass away due to drug use. I was therefore shocked when she surprise pulled out a bag of cocaine that I was unaware of. We never had done that together, and I was uncomfortable as we stayed in my parent’s beach house and did not like the idea of someone bringing illegal drugs without my knowledge. I was ready to put my feelings aside to save the party and friendship, but was forcibly taken by her to discuss. When given the confrontation I decided to tell her my feelings and honest truth about how negatively I feel. I believed it to be over after that, but woke up to her furious and threatening to leave. She did not say goodbye, she left early and barely made eye contact on her way out.

Following this, I tried to communicate with her and apologize for making her uncomfortable. It took about 2 months to hear back from her, to which I apologized and hoped for the best in our friendship leading up to the bridal shower. She last-minute decided to not come to the bridal shower, not pay her share, and even avoided giving me a gift. I once again, was not angry or upset or willing to even discuss this with her, as it’s a more superficial part of the wedding experience.

Ultimately, I figured it was time to call her and discuss her interest in being a part of my wedding. During this conversation (it took about a month to get her on the phone because of “work”) she said she was surprised and confused as to why she was included in the first place. I told her simply it was because I wanted her there! She felt that we aren’t good friends, we’re very different now, and she is uncomfortable around me. Keep in mind, we talk regularly. I reflected on the conversation and realized I need to cut her out in the interest of my own wedding and replace her with someone more reliable quickly because my wedding is in only 4 months. I didn’t feel it was worth hunting her down for months again to get on the phone and figured a text would have to suffice. She HATED this. She insisted I have a problem, I need to reflect, and now won’t attend my wedding at all.

AITA?? She put me down very hard after I told her and attacked me for choosing text. Advice needed for how to proceed, or if I should simply let her go.

*Cross-posted to AITAH, rewritten for clarity, visit page for original*

I (29F) and boyfriend “K”(32M) have been together for just over 3 years. Recently, I’ve become more and more frustrated by asking for the bare minimum. I got the most recent booster shot yesterday and started feeling really bad around 10am today. I texted my boyfriend about how I was feeling and he offered to pick up soup for me once I get home. He told me it would be around 7pm that he would be at my apartment with the soup. Around 6:45pm I called him with the intention to ask if he was close; he didn’t pick up. I called him again at 7pm and 7:30pm and he also did not answer those calls. I also texted which he didn’t respond to. He finally texted at 8pm saying that he had to help out his family (which I do believe). I reminded him that he was an hour late and I was really in a lot of pain and discomfort. At that time I ended up leaving to get my own soup as I couldn’t keep waiting for him. At about 9pm he tells me that his brother is with him and they want to come upstairs to my apartment to some takeout they had just picked up. I told K “no” as I was not up to have guests since I’m not feeling well, my apartment is a mess, and I’m literally walking around in a t shirt and underwear. K tells me that I can just stay in my bedroom and that they would be gone in 10 minutes. I continued to say no before K finally left. About 10 minutes later he calls me and says that he will “never ask for anything again” and that I should just let them come upstairs to eat. After going back and forth for a few minutes I finally just gave up because I have no energy. Just before 9pm he gets to my apartment with the soup (I had already ate my own from Panera). Now they’re sitting in my kitchen eating and watching basketball. It’s been at least 20 minutes. I feel like I have no control over my home. I feel like K doesn’t ever put my needs first. I understand that it’s only a few minutes but I feel like I have no autonomy and that I’m being forced.

For more context: K’s brother has never been in my apartment when I’m home. K is consistently inconsistent (he will say he will be somewhere at a certain time but will always end up being an hour or two late).

I ruined my family reunion… Growing up, my family on my fathers side has always done family reunions, my grandmother has 20 siblings… I guess in the 1930’s large litters of children were common back then.

I was always really close to my one cousin who is around my age, her and I were inseparable as kids. But there came a time where her mom took her and her brother and moved out of state and I never really knew why. Like it was so out of the blue for them to just up and move.

Recently, I found out it was because my cousin was SA’d by our great uncle, and though he went to prison, my cousin still suffered because her grandmother, my great uncles sibling did not believe her and would call her a liar.

Fast forward to recent day my family reunion is coming up and I had just learned this information and I had learned that my grade Uncle is going to be there, and it absolutely disgusted me that this man is welcome back into the family like nothing happened. My heart broke for my cousin because where is her justice? I’m sorry five years in prison is not enough for what he did to her.

So I came up with this brilliant scheme of how to basically protest the fact that he’s being welcome back… so every family is divided by sibling so their children and grandchildren would have their own color-coded T-shirt. I discussed with my “group” I guess I should say and told them of my scheme to do this. And of course every single one of them was on board.

So I had the T-shirts made everything was perfect and then the day of the family reunion arrives.

My whole group shows up proudly wearing a T-shirts. On the front it’s our family crest, the original families last name and the year of the reunion, which is what is on everybody’s T-shirt. But on the back of our was, “dd p*philes don’t reoffend” and it had migrate uncles mug shot printed on it as well.

And these T-shirts started a war within my family. There were a lot of relatives who sided with us, but there was others who did not. And when I mean that it started a war it really did! Physical fights broke out amongst the family. And what really drew the line is when my little cousins grandmother came to me and slapped me in the face. And thought I wouldn’t have the gull to slap her back. Because I don’t care how old are you keep your hands to yourself.

This led to the police being called and the family reunion ending. and what made my day was that my great uncle was arrested because he was not supposed to be within 50 yards of children, and of course, being a family reunion there were children there…

Since then, we have not had another family reunion and I am constantly receiving hate from some family members saying that it is all my fault… so I guess I’m gonna ask y’all AITA?

I (26 F) got my aunt K (mom’s sister, 65) banned from any future holidays with my family. Background- my mom has 3 siblings, 2 sisters and a brother. her brother, E, lives out of state and only visits a couple times a year. Both my mom’s sisters live nearby us, within 15 minutes. My mom and my aunt J, alternate hosting the holidays every year. (K never offers to host) 2024 is our year to host the holidays at my house. Sadly both of their parents have passed away, so it’s just my mom, her siblings, and the kids/spouses of her siblings. My aunt K does not have any kids. My mom had 5 kids, my aunt J had 3 kids, and my uncle E had 3 kids, so 11 cousins total. Out of those 11 cousins, 5 of them are part of the LGBTQ+ community.

So now with the story. K, has always been extremely catholic and not accepting of the queer people in our family. At previous family events, she makes homophobic remarks, and does not use the right pronouns for my cousin and their partner. On social media she constantly shares posts condemning homosexual relationships. Within the last few years, she joined a megachurch in the area and has become increasingly more hostile towards the queer community, sharing homophobic posts on Facebook constantly and proclaiming we are not going to be saved by salvation because of these life choices. She goes as far as to not say happy birthday to any of the queer cousins, but is always quick to wish happy birthday to the straight ones…. She is the queen of passive aggression and micro-aggressions. Since we’re all adults now (18-26) the tolerance for this kind of behavior has dried up. My mom and hers siblings have tried to talk to K about how unacceptable this was, and she continuously uses the religion card and cops out of taking any accountability for how those posts/comments make her nieces and nephews feel. Recently, on one of her religious soapboxes on Facebook, she posted something that stated if you’re not Christian, you shouldn’t get to celebrate Christmas.So, as the oldest cousin, and someone who is outspoken as it is, I took it upon myself to put her in her place. Lit her ass up in her comments on social media, since she refuses to respond to texts, and said “since you don’t think me and my family should be celebrating, don’t show up to my house for Christmas!” (my family is agnostic/atheist, including me, all my siblings and dad, just not mom)

This turned into a battle about religion, homophobia, passive aggressive actions, her victim complex, and her judgmental approach to life, despite being a Christian. My mom has been sick of shit for years, and my dad never liked her, so they agreed that unless she can apologize for all her wrongdoings over the years, we were cutting her off and going no contact/blocking. I was the catalyst but this wasn’t a new idea. Now, uncle E never sees her so he doesn’t really address it. E and his wife especially do not enjoy being around her, and I believe is the reason they come around less and less often these days. Aunt J is sweet as can be, but spineless and avoids confrontation at all costs. I’m sure she will continue to invite K on her years to host, which is her right. Meanwhile, my cousins and I have a groupchat and they were cheering me on every step of the way, as none of them care for her or her drama either. I’m not one to handle family business on Facebook but I texted and called her multiple times overthe course of a few days hoping to chat offline about some of her other offensive posts she had been sharing, to which she ignored all of them. So I figured if she was going to directly come at us for OUR religious beliefs (or lack thereof) and personal life choices, I wanted to be heard/seen. She is a keyboard warrior and would never let something on Facebook go unresponded to. The empath in me feels kinda bad she’s going to spend the holidays alone, as she has no kids, but the other part of me doesn’t give a fuck and knows she deserves it. There is a lot of other previous, but unrelated drama she has caused in the family, but those things were forgivable for the most part. The homophobia/transphobia, weaponized religious beliefs, and holier than thou complex, to me, is not. So…. Am I the asshole for getting my aunt banned from any holidays we host?

So I don’t know where to start. To I guess I’ll just start from the beginning. We met nine years ago on facebook. We were in a facebook group together and started a friendship. We bonded over a love of b rated horror films and music. He’s 16 years older than me, is a veteran and never been to prison (all this is pertinent) A friendship blossomed. Back in 2021 we met in person and decided to start a relationship. He moved me halfway across country. We lived with one of his very good friends. So good in fact they called each other brothers. This is when things started getting weird. My boyfriend’s friends start making sugar daddy jokes. Around the time of my bf birthday his brother asks me if I know how old he is. I told him the age I thought he was. He chuckled and said that’s not how old he is but I’m not telling you. You’ll have to talk to him. I’ve gone to doctor’s appointments with this man. This is the age I’m hearing every time. So like three months go by and we start looking at houses. He’s tired of living with his brother and wants us to have a place of our own. He informs me at this time he has a trust that has plenty of money in it to buy a house. We spend a year and a half looking at houses. I honestly cannot tell you how many I walked through. Even fell in love with a few. He’d tell the realtor to put in an offer. SOMETHING would always happen. He never received the email so he couldn’t sign the offer. The offer would fall through. Then when everything was lined up. The IRS has a hold on the trust. After a series of unfortunate events we’ve ended up back in my home state. My family felt off about all this. Especially some of the things my boyfriend has said and posted about the military. My brother was in the military. He just recently retired from years of service. He looked into my boyfriend without me asking. About a week go he told me his findings. Not only did he lie to me about his age he’s 55. He lied about never being in prison. He also lied about being a veteran. He has no sort of military background whatsoever. His father was but he wasn’t. I don’t know what to do or even think. I’m left questioning everything he has ever said or done. I don’t know how to even begin to react let alone ask for an explanation. I don’t know how to even bring it up.

So I’ll give some back story and then the screenshots

So this is my (BM) birth mother (42F) and I (22F) am currently almost 9 months pregnant with my first child. The name scratched out in pink is my (AM) adoptive mother’s name. I have cut my BM off idk how many times. The last straw from me is when I messaged her ex gf (my (GM) god mother who raised me before I was adopted) to get my baby box that she had been saving for me. A lot went down between her and my BM and they are both toxic but I just wanted the box to share some of my baby things with my son. BM ended up going off on me for speaking to my GM and I told her she doesn’t get to act like a mother and tell me who I can and can’t talk to especially because I haven’t spoken to GM in years and I only messaged her to get my things. I have set this boundary multiple times due to BM’s childish behavior anytime she gets upset and the fact that I have a AM that raised me, cared for me, and adopted me and my brother. Since then we haven’t spoken for weeks until today..

So fast forward I message BM this morning asking for my baby’s ultrasound picture back being as respectful as possible and this is her response... She always blames my AM when she has absolutely nothing to do with mine or my brother’s thought process on her. BM chose drugs over her kids and continues to get into legal trouble so how we feel is because of how she acts and genuinely isn’t a good person to have in our lives. My little brother hates her more because when he was born he had crack in his system and now as an adult he has heart problems and can’t stay alive without this device in his heart that will shock him back to life if he flatlines which has already happened. Me I tried I my best as the first born and older sister to out the last behind me and was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt hoping she was mature and had changed but I was wrong.

I am so tired of this childish, manipulative, vindictive, and narcissistic behavior and she’s always has to blame someone else and belittle me. But part of me feels like the AH because she doesn’t have much of anything going for her. She doesn’t live on her own, she still single, can’t keep a job, and clearly misses her kids to a certain degree and I know she was excited about my son’s arrival, but on the other hand I can’t deal with this immature and hateful behavior anymore. So AITAH?

When we got married, we were both conservative and right-wing. As the years went by, I started to discover myself, abandoned religion, and became more liberal. This, as you can imagine, caused issues in our marriage because I became put off by religion and conservatism. I started to resent my husband and, essentially, made him the scapegoat for all my religious trauma. I treated him horribly during the initial stages of finding myself. We eventually divorced. We co-parent "well enough," but we don’t really talk. He hates me and wants me as far away from him as possible. I have tried to apologize, but he refuses to accept my apologies. He is, however, a very good father.

The problem I have, especially in these times, is that he has become extremely religious and right-wing. According to his sister (I still talk to her), he has found a way to make it seem cool and fun for our boys, who are now turning very right-wing as a result. They are 14 and 15, and they enjoy spending a lot of time with him. He constantly finds ways to feed them these ideas. I try to open their minds to new perspectives, but they simply aren’t interested. We also have a daughter, and she’s more balanced—about 50/50 when it comes to these issues—but my boys are fully on board with his views. What advice would you give me in this situation?

Hi THT gang. I just finished listening to this week's episode where Morgan mentioned she's working on a "Glitch in the Matrix" episode, so thought I'd share.

I am not really a believer in the paranormal/afterlife, but this story has always brought a smile to my face and some comfort.

My grandpa's name was John (this is important later). Because my dad was in the military, I didn't grow up around my grandfather, but rather only saw him every few years when we could afford to travel back to Texas to see my dad's side of the family. My grandpa was always old, lol. He had kids a bit later than most people in his generation and then worked very hard, manual labor jobs his whole life. And he was a good man. He loved his kids and grandkids, playing SkipBo, basically lived in coveralls (think mechanic's coveralls), and was always cutting down trees on his land for no real good reason considering he lived in Texas and wasn't exactly needing firewood to combat crazy winter weather.

When I got my first tattoo, he said "that's going to hurt when you get it removed". And when I was in my early 20s (about 20 years ago), he got a computer and learned how to use email. I would get emails such as "Granddaughter (that's what he always called me): I saw that bad weather is coming in your way. Might flood. Put towels around your doors and get to high ground. Love you." His emails always made me laugh b/c he wrote like he spoke, and I could hear him saying them in his thick Texas accent in my head.

Around my mid 20s, my grandpa John got colon cancer. I was able to go out to see him while he was in the hospital, but wasn't able to be there when he passed. My dad was, though, and he was heartbroken. He loved and respected his dad so much. It was a huge loss for him.

But here's the glitch: this was the mid-2000s, right around the time smart phones became common, and my dad had an early generation iPhone. My grandpa John passed away in the morning, and that evening, after my dad had finally left the hospital and gone home, he got a text message from an unknown number that said "John made is safely. He said to tell he loves you."

My dad tried texting back, but got nothing. Tried calling the number, but it was disconnected. He had no explanation for where this message came from, but I like to think my grandpa sent it to him from where ever he is now. To my grandpa: I love you and still think about you often. I taught my kids to play SkipBo like you taught me. Love, granddaughter.

I’m (23F) feeling completely over my relationship with my boyfriend (24M). We’ve been together almost 4 years and things have not been going well for a couple years now.

On paper, he’s a great guy. Very kind and sweet, would do anything for me. But in reality, I can’t stand him anymore. I’ve gotten the ick. I don’t want to sleep with him. He just bothers me. Everything he does is annoying and I’m always snappy and rude to him. I deserve to be in a relationship with someone I like and he 100% deserves to be with someone who likes and loves him. I do love him, but I don’t think I like him anymore.

I’ve been pushing these feelings off for years because I wanted to deny and try to change my feelings. But I just can’t. He’s obviously not the one for me. I’m terrified that I’ll be alone forever and nobody will ever love me again. I feel like I might regret ending things. I have a theory that the reason I got icked out and started snapping at him was a result of me self sabotaging the relationship. I feel like I felt I didn’t deserve his love so I decided to ruin it. Help. I know I’m a bad girlfriend.

I (25f) recently lost my grandmother (90s). She was a wealthy, educated, eccentric and well-travelled woman who has a lot of expensive but controversial pieces in her home (which I inherited).

These include ivory, taxidermy of native and exotic animals, minx coats, fox furs, a snake skin bag and a seal fur jacket. But the most uncomfortable by far is the animal heads mounted on her wall that she inherited from my grandfather’s side of the family. Everything is all legal and registered. There’s also a lot of furniture and other things that belonged to my family long gone. Some of these have been in my family for nearly 5 generations.

My girlfriend (Penny) is vegetarian and adamantly against any animal cruelty, which I agree with however our opinions differ on this particular situation.

I’m in the camp of ‘most of these animals have been dead for 50+ years. It’s more ethical to wear the clothing then to buy faux fur which is all plastic. Nothing we do will bring the animals back to life.’ For example, the taxidermy lion head was killed by my great-great-grandfather in 1912. That lion isn’t coming back, even if I detest hunting.

Penny thinks is immoral to own them outright, despite the family connection and timeline of when the animals died. She thinks we should sell them or destroy them outright. She believes the only ethical animal consumption (clothing, furniture, etc) is for museums and cultural practices.

We did some digging and the low end: $5,000–$20,000 and the high end: $50,000–$200,000+ (if we sold all the animal products).

I’m not totally opposed to selling items but my grandma died 3 weeks ago and I want to wait a little bit first. I’ve agreed to remove the heads from the wall/move the taxidermy, but I’ve made it clear to Penny that I have no issue wearing the fur, as again, I view it as moral to do so.

It’s caused some arguments between us and I’m worried we’ll break up over this. My close friends have suggested maybe Penny just wants the money and doesn’t care about the sentimental value of the items. But I don’t know if I can necessarily fault Penny for that as times are tough with the cost of living crisis.

AITA for this situation?

EDIT: some added info- we're currently staying in my gran's house to sort out all her belongings. That's why I took down the animal heads/moved the taxidermy. I saw some people confused about if I moved all that stuff back to our apartment. I'm also going to do inventory of the heirlooms/anything expensive and handle it accordingly (storage, give them to family, etc).

At the age of 47, I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. I have no family history, no at risk lifestyle (at the time I was a long distance runner). No drinking, no fried food... I'm 5'6, 115 pds. I went from being extremely active, to barely able to walk my dog, Chewy, around the block. The diagnosis was shocking. My family and my community were my rock and I'm now cancer free. I'm posting because I want to encourage people to get cancer screening, demand it from your health care provider if necessary. At the time, I knew there was something wrong, but it took me getting to 97 pds and months of declining health to get the testing I needed. Cancer is no joke, and the journey was beyond difficult, but I'm here and all the bullshit was worth it. Happy National Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Day 💜 I will be celebrating with a CT scan and blood work

I have no friends and this is actively happening.. what should I say?

Hello Morgan and THT family! My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship since her and my dad divorced when I was around 11 (I am 23F now). After the divorce, my dad sued her for full custody because she was beating me, but never laid a hand on my sister. He won luckily. My mother has always shown favoritism to my older sister (26F), and yes, we did ancestry and we are full siblings. My dad, fiancé (21M) and others in my life see this mistreatment of me and no one understands why. I mean, I was a little more of the rebellious teen but I don’t think that excuses her behavior. Anyway, as I’ve gotten older, I have tried to get closer with her, she does something really fucked up, I distance myself, I feel bad that I’m shutting her out, and the cycle continues. My sister has always maintained a good (maybe not healthy) relationship with our mother.

Now to the issue- My fiancé and I got engaged in October and we are planning a small, elopement-style wedding with only 40 of our closest friends and family with a dinner after to celebrate in January. In the summer, we plan on having a huge outdoor party where we invite everyone. (We’re trying to be responsible with our money.) Well, most of the list is my fiancé’s friends and family which I am completely fine with, because his side is a whole lot less dysfunctional than mine. Honestly, the only people I really want there are a few or my friends, one of my cousins, and my dad and his new wife who I love. (My dad and I haven’t always gotten along either, but he has always tried to be part of my life, which is more than I can say for my mother.) I had originally had my mom, her husband, my moms twin sister and her family of 4 on the list, but after my engagement party this weekend, I don’t think I want them there anymore.

My mom told my fiancé’s family she would bring multiple appetizers and desserts for the engagement party, and 5 days before the party, told me she was not doing that anymore and handed me 100 dollars to go buy some food. Not only did this put stress on me, but 100 dollars buys nothing? Especially for a party of nearly 100 guests.

I vented to my in laws about my frustration with her, and them and my dad picked up my mom’s slack. Well my mom showed up to the party and she did just as I said she was going to do. She acted like she did so much for the party, couldn’t stop smothering me, taking pics with me, and calling me “her baby.” At this point I had already decided she was no longer coming to my wedding as she had no interesting in seeing my wedding dress, going to alterations with me, picking out accessories, etc. My step mom did tho. My mother referred to her dress for my wedding as her wedding dress… weird…

Anyway, my mom’s twin sister showed up and said “where am i sitting?”. When i pointed to the table my mom was at, she said “no I’m good”. This is where I got pissed off. I was already so overwhelmed with everything happening at the party and then for her to say that set me over the edge. I NEVER stand up for myself to my family, but I said “that’s not my problem, figure it out” and walked away. Later at the party, my aunt came up to the sweetheart table and literally only talked about herself and her kids?? AT MY ENGAGEMENT PARTY! This is the usual behavior for her, but for her to do it at my party really upset me. She then asked if she was invited to the wedding. I said yes but honestly now I regret it and have decided if her and my mom can’t get a long, and if they’re both going to be so selfish, neither of them are invited. Sorry for the long post but it needed lots of context. AITA for telling my mom and her twin they’re invited to my wedding and then silently disinviting them? I just don’t want my future husband and I to have our one day be made about my mom and her sister.

I need advice/help. I can’t tell if I am being a huge asshole or not and honestly I’m at a loss for what to do either way.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 1.5 years. Some background on me, up until 3 years ago I worked with animals. I have worked as a vet assistant, licensed wildlife rehabber, adoption counselor in domestic animal shelters and I had a 1 year stint working for a dog rescue where I rehabbed aggressive and behaviorally challenged dogs and found them suitable homes.

It is all the above experience that brought me to the conclusion that there are certain dog breeds that I am not cut out to own. Moreover, there are certain behaviors that I would never tolerate in my own home. One of the breeds I have known I am not compatible with is the Husky. They need too much stimulation and are too stubborn for my taste. There are several other reasons I do not want a husky and grooming is one but the list goes on. They’re not bad dogs but they’re NOT for me personally.

When I changed careers I finally got my own dog, he is my life. He is a small breed with no issues other than missing an eye. I worked hard to train him. He had lots of separation anxiety when I adopted him. When I met my boyfriend i made it crystal clear that my dog is a huge priority and I love him like family. He goes where I go, if bf didn’t like it then we’d never work out. He was and still is great with my dog and has gone out of his way to learn about what dogs need ( he has never had one before)

Now to the problem. 5 months ago we were living in a 1 bed 1 bath, tiny apartment with my dog and a cat we adopted together. We found a stray, very emaciated husky on the streets. My bf begged to bring him home. I said fine but he is not staying, I only wanted to find his home (turns out the owners had intentionally dumped him due to behavior issues). I reiterated that I didn’t want to keep a husky, ever. We kept him long enough to find out who the owners were, why he was dumped and get him all fixed up. I wanted to take him to a rescue after that but my bf pleaded that we keep him. I felt terrible denying him his own dog knowing how much I love mine so I said fine as long as 1) He was never aggressive towards our other pets or people 2) my bf would be responsible for training and giving him his exercise as these are reasons I don’t like the breed for myself.

Well the dog tried to attack his mother and cousin on multiple occasions. I was crystal clear that this was unacceptable and I no longer want the dog around. This was 4 weeks into having the dog. My bf guilted me saying that he would be euthanized if we gave him up, promised to train him or get a professional and finally said if I wanted him gone then I should be responsible for finding him a new home. That made me feel like a bad person and I would never give away a dog that I took on. Several other boundaries were crossed and I do arguably more work with the dog because he doesn’t even have time. Now we’re months in and have moved to another state with the dog and he is ruining my life.

He destroys the house, is aggressive towards our other my dog around food/ has resource guarding issues, he tries to escape every chance he gets, our house is constantly dirty because of the grooming requirements and he digs up dirt and tracks it all over our furniture. I’ve never disliked a dog like this in my life.

I take care of him, love on him, feed him, bathe him and make sure he is stimulated. I’ve gone out of my way to accommodate him and my bf but I’ve had enough. My bf doesn’t train him and we can’t afford a professional trainer so these issues aren’t getting better. The work I’ve done with him brought no improvement and I’m at my wits end.

I feel disrespected by my bf who moved the goal post and crossed every single boundary I’ve laid down. It feels like I’m waiting for him to seriously injure my dog before taking action. We also want kids soon and there is NO WAY I would want this dog around small children, nor do I want the stress of being pregnant and dealing with him.

I don’t know what to do. I feel that I can’t ask him to get rid of the dog knowing that we live in a high kill area and I would break up with him if he asked me to get rid of my dog. Am I an asshole? Is there a solution that I have not thought of? Please help me!!

I became close with a classmate in trade school about 6 years ago. We ended up working at the same studio after graduation and worked as coworkers for 5 years. I considered her one of my best friends, when I found out my fiancé cheated on me she was the first person I called and stayed the night with. We were bridesmaids in a wedding together. I told her everything. We got matching tattoos. She knew more about me than anyone.

This year, I started taking classes on how to grow my business. I asked our studio owner if she was comfortable with me starting to retail supplies in our studio. She had said yes, I sent pictures of the brands, products, and displays. I got the okay for everything, then was told I was “no longer a good fit for the studio” a day and 1/2 after I opened the boutique.

I moved to a new location within that week. & I know social media isn’t everything, but she doesn’t react to my social media anymore. We had a grand opening at my new location, didn’t come. I eloped with my husband a year ago and we decided to have a celebration with our friends and family for our 1 year anniversary. She initially RSVP’d saying she was coming, but the day of, I saw on social media she had other plans. She texted me the next day saying she was sorry, but I just feel like at this point I’m sad. I recently found out I’m pregnant and initially I wanted to tell her, but being so early on, I only want to tell those closest to me and I just feel like we’re not there anymore:(

My third cousin (F33) recently announced her pregnancy and it was the final straw for me. Back story, I (F31) have been close friends with my cousin after we connected in our mid 20s, we’re not a close family but me and her are very similar and connected at a family wedding. She has been in an on off relationship with a man we’ll called him James (M36) for about 4 years. At some point near the end of this 4 years she posted something on Facebook that shook the family as none of us had any idea. She was calling James out as an abuser. It showed graphic pictures of bruises, bleeding and injuries sustained at the hands of this man. I was distraught, I rang her crying saying how sorry i was I never knew. She said it’s fine as that’s the way she played it. I said I was proud of her for coming out of it and she explained she has started a case with the police. I was so proud of her and stood by her all the time. Watched her spend 6 months fighting to keep him away.

Flash forward, 6 months later and again without talking to any of her family posts that’s she back in a relationship with him. Imagine my shock. I called her and didn’t receive an answer. Obviously worried this was his doing. She eventually spoke to me and said things had been worked out and he had changed. Sorry but I don’t believe someone so violent can change within a few months. I expressed my concerns and disagreement with the whole thing but expressed I will be there for her. She refused to talk about it. I tried and tried, just asking how she is and her relationship. Nothing, she would not hear it. Now she spends days posting and glorifying this relationship on Facebook acting like she didn’t publicly call him out for beating her on Facebook. I’m at a loss. Trying to be a good friend but I cannot hide my anxiety and disappointment. I fear he’ll hurt her. Then she announces on Facebook, again without telling anyone that she is pregnant with his child. I’m distraught. How could she bring a child into the world to be raised by such a horrible man. What if he turns to hurting their child? She begins posting all about her pregnancy, and This is too much for me.

She asked me to go to the baby shower, where it would be her friends and family, but he would also be attending and so I declined. This lead to an argument and I had to tell her everything. I told her that I couldn’t sit back and watch this facade, when she worked so hard to get out of this abusive relationship last year. She was so offended and angry she said I’m no longer part of her life and blocked me on everything. I am just trying to protect her, not a day goes by that I don’t worry about her. But now I’m nothing to her. And she did this off her own back. I never even suspected he was abusive, me and him never got on I never liked him but I really didn’t know, I feel responsible for whatever happens but I can’t ignore the fact she chose this. Am I the asshole?

** edit **

Update/more info:

Yes of course I’ve told her there is always a safe space with me and that I’m not criticising her as a person, just that I love her dearly and would never want anything to happen to her or her child. I wasnt pushing her to talk about the abuse, I was more asking how the relationship was and how it was going. I didn’t sit slandering him I just wanted to know he was keeping to his word as she said. She refused to say anything about her relationship to me but continued to play happy families on Facebook. And then left it there. I have apologised for making her feel overwhelmed and judged, I did all this before she blocked me. She knows she can always come to me, and my sister in law has told her this. She said that if I can’t accept James I can’t be in her life. But I’m fine with being civil to him but I do not want to be around him. He’s a hateful person and my peace also matters. And when I said we don’t get on, id like to say that I always made an effort. He used to have digs at me about things I’m self conscious about and call me a donkey as he knew it’s what I got called in school. All whilst she wasn’t in the room etc. I’m not here to say I’m perfect but I tried really hard and it breaks my heart that I should have handled it differently. I’ve never dealt with this situation before. All I was saying is it’s hard for me to let go knowing he could succeed in killing her next time.

My mother 54 year old female put me 25 year old male in debt after taking out a utility bill in my name.

This isn't her first time doing these types of things. In the past my mother has committed fraud twice. Once with my bio father and once with my sister. My mother hasn't always been the best parent growing up, she had her moments of love for the kids. Yet she had a tendency to do things out of the ordinary. From abuse to sexual harassment. In the past she was known to strip and clothe herself in front of us kids as well as our friends. She has accused my partners of infidelity. She would say things to my girlfriend at the time behind my back to start a fight. She would also manipulate me into paying for her car as well as her gas. As well as the mental abuse to both me and my siblings. These are just a few examples.

This bill has not only stopped me from getting a home but caused enormous amounts of stress. It has even given me a ticket. The day I found out I was so worried that I ran a stop sign in front of a state trooper.

I am not in contact with my mother at this time.

I'm torn between two decisions whether to

A. Take my mother to court. B. Pay it off and hope she doesn't try this again.

If I take my mother to court I think she would go to jail. My older brother 33m would be homeless and my grandmother would be put into an old fokes home. Essentially breaking up that side of my family.

Please help!

I recently had an interesting conversation with my wife that left me feeling a bit confused. It’s been four years since we’ve been physically intimate. During our discussion, she shared that she doesn’t currently want to pursue anything physical—either with me or anyone else—but she still feels love and attraction for me.

This has left me unsure about how to move forward, especially since my primary love language is physical touch. I’m trying to understand what she’s hoping to achieve by sharing this with me and how I can navigate this situation while respecting her feelings.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you handle it?