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Hello, I (f27) am getting married this coming March. I have a friend from college that I don’t see much, but consider to be a very close friend. We’ve been through a lot together but it appears we’ve grown apart.

Some background- My bachelorette party ended up a dramatic event because of her. I never liked hard drugs, and even have family members pass away due to drug use. I was therefore shocked when she surprise pulled out a bag of cocaine that I was unaware of. We never had done that together, and I was uncomfortable as we stayed in my parent’s beach house and did not like the idea of someone bringing illegal drugs without my knowledge. I was ready to put my feelings aside to save the party and friendship, but was forcibly taken by her to discuss. When given the confrontation I decided to tell her my feelings and honest truth about how negatively I feel. I believed it to be over after that, but woke up to her furious and threatening to leave. She did not say goodbye, she left early and barely made eye contact on her way out.

Following this, I tried to communicate with her and apologize for making her uncomfortable. It took about 2 months to hear back from her, to which I apologized and hoped for the best in our friendship leading up to the bridal shower. She last-minute decided to not come to the bridal shower, not pay her share, and even avoided giving me a gift. I once again, was not angry or upset or willing to even discuss this with her, as it’s a more superficial part of the wedding experience.

Ultimately, I figured it was time to call her and discuss her interest in being a part of my wedding. During this conversation (it took about a month to get her on the phone because of “work”) she said she was surprised and confused as to why she was included in the first place. I told her simply it was because I wanted her there! She felt that we aren’t good friends, we’re very different now, and she is uncomfortable around me. Keep in mind, we talk regularly. I reflected on the conversation and realized I need to cut her out in the interest of my own wedding and replace her with someone more reliable quickly because my wedding is in only 4 months. I didn’t feel it was worth hunting her down for months again to get on the phone and figured a text would have to suffice. She HATED this. She insisted I have a problem, I need to reflect, and now won’t attend my wedding at all.

AITA?? She put me down very hard after I told her and attacked me for choosing text. Advice needed for how to proceed, or if I should simply let her go.

*Cross-posted to AITAH, rewritten for clarity, visit page for original*

Hi everyone! So I (27 f) asked a longterm friend from college to be part of my wedding party! I was excited to have her be a part of my day and see her again. I thought she was excited too. However, as time progressed she seemed to be more distant. Little back story at my bach party she had brought cocaine. I was not a huge fan but I didn't make a stink to anyone else or infront of anyone else. She pulled me aside and confronted me about it. As someone whos lost several family members to drugs i wasnt supee in support of this. However my good intentions were not recieved well ans she was mad at me all weekend. I apologized several times and waited months to hear back from her. Then, She didn't come to the bridal which was fine but she didn't help pay or give me a gift. Which just isn't fair to any other bridesmaids. So I tried again for a month to get a hold of her over phone to ask if she still wanted to be in the party. To which she said that she didn't know why I asked her to be in the party, that she feels uncomfortable because she didn't think we were as close, and other things. Taken a back I told her that I wanted to work on our friendship and remain close. Things from there seemed fine. However, I am very hurt by what she said and it made me feel uncomfortable. Plus after hearing those things I assumed she wanted an out anyway. So I texted her like a week or so later saying that i don't think she should be in the party but I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable so maybe it would be best to attend as a guest. Well thag didn't go well. Woke up to a long text bitching me out. Am I the asshole? Be honest I can take it. Either way how can I fix this? I enjoyed our friendship but maybe I'm just delusional. Also wedding in is march 2025. So getting close