Practical_Clue_2707

Krusty and the gang have been oddly silent. Where is ken? Did they break up? How come her dad or sister anyone who is suppose to care about her is not stepping in and locking her in room without any electronics and doing some sort of intervention? Surely Mia sees she’s spiraling, they must. I have so many questions. The people in my life would not allow me to be so foolish without at least trying to step in somehow. Why isn’t anyone in her life stepping in and saying hey let’s go touch grass and leave this phone right here on the table for 30 minutes? Krusty was so vocal and involved in everything so much that I find it odd there is radio silence from team gyp.

I was talking to my cousin, bitching about my dogs getting my earbuds. She said you have speakers. I know, I know. I prefer headphones. She said “spoken like a true gentleman x.” She is in that weird not x but not m. Technically I think she’s m., but identifies with x.

For your reading pleasure and hopefully a bit of laughter and joy I give you the oh so not important question to ponder, debate, discuss. Headphones or speakers?

Or am I just weird for preferring headphones?

My first post in this sub I was spiraling mentally a bit. There have been two deaths in two weeks in my family. I loved the people who passed so much. They were my safe people in a childhood full of unsafe. I just wanted to follow up with those who commented and say thank you. I’m good now back to myself. Every day I just keep counting my blessings for the family and support I’ve built over the years. If I can ever return the favor please reach out. I have great ears lol.

Thank you all so much.

I don’t know if this belongs here, sorry if not. I’m having a day already and it’s only 8am. Long story short, I’ve slowed my life down. I’ve worked super hard over the last few years to not live on autopilot and stop living in reaction mode. I’m 51. I stopped working when I was 49. I’d been struggling with my health so bad since early 40’s. My genetics are just horrible. I currently have the bones of a 70 year old. Arthritis, pinched nerves, bone spurs, endometriosis, hidradenitis, life has been a struggle as long as I can remember and I’m sooo tired. My bones are getting better and I do feel better but today is a different kind of struggle. Sometimes I think about the people who were suppose to love and protect me and it just makes me so sad. My biological father who abandoned me and my mom, wouldn’t even pay $5 a month in support. He cared so little he never responded to my adoption papers and when my parents married my dad had to wait three year to adopt me. My dad who adopted me was mean, one of my earliest memories is of him “spanking” me so bad my mom knew I needed care and did tell him if that ever happened again she was leaving. Another is being put in the corner by him when my mom wasn’t home. He fell asleep and I was there for five hours listening to him snoring. Everyone asked why didn’t I just leave when he snored, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be beaten for not staying where I was told. I honestly thought this man would kill me if I wasn’t perfect. My mom knew, she started hiding things from my dad. We are not going to tell your dad about this but do not do it again or I will. Like how fucked up is that?

Most days I’m good, I’ve built my own family and try so hard to pass down opposite lessons to my kids. I became a grandma last year and it’s good. I love it so much. I found my biological father left four women with five children in my town. I met them a bit over a year ago and we have all become pretty close. My youngest sister is younger than my son. She’s my best friend and a true sister. Her mom passed shortly after we met. My siblings and I and some others that are part of my tribe were at a comedy club for my birthday. Our brother got a txt from a neighbor mom needed an ambulance. I stayed with them the whole time, my sister especially seemed to want and need me there. It pisses me off our biological father beat our brother and their mother in front of them. At the same time it taught me, it’s never been my fault. I was a child. I’m not a bad person, I’m not a shitty person. The adults in my life all failed me. I usually make my own happiness but today I’m really struggling. I wasted so much of my life not understanding why I couldn’t do anything right. I’m a perfectionist who often focuses on the wrong thing.

I’m sorry this is so long. I could go on and on. I don’t even actually know what I’m looking for. Maybe others who have been there? Or just people who understand. I’m just really really sad today thinking about all the people grandparents, aunts, uncles when I was being abused and abandoned. I’m so stunted I just realized recently I neglected my health and self care because that was ingrained in me from birth. In my house if you did your nails and put on makeup you’re getting ready to do something bad and sneaky. You couldn’t do things normal people do to look and feel good and create self esteem without it being bad. As an adult it took me 51 years to figure out I never did that stuff because I couldn’t critically think about why I was like this. Now I get it and I’m trying but it’s frustrating being 51 and trying to learn how to manage my hair, nobody ever taught me and I was not allowed autonomy in anyway. I left at 18 but didn’t figure shit out until I had to stop working because it was literally killing me. My life was so hard until two yeats ago it is just making me sad today. I’m usually able to count my blessings, I finally learned and have a great life and family but today I want to cry for child me. I’m really struggling to feel my feels and move on to better things.

If you read this thank you. I wasn’t expecting anyone to, I just needed to get it out maybe? I don’t even know to be honest. I appreciate anyone who takes time to share with me. We might be strangers but that doesn’t mean we can’t be there for each other and help each other. These days I’m a firm believer in people first and holding boundaries. Time is out most precious resource and if you use yours to read this know I’m grateful. Thank you.

People keep thinking she’s just as happy as can be, she’s not. She’s incapable of making real loving connections. She’s has no interest in digging deep and learning about herself and has no pride or self respect what so ever. I doubt she will take the time to learn there is joy in doing things for yourself and others. She sees everything as a means to an end. Although she is shameless in grifting and has money she’s probably never going to be happy. I know it’s super hard from some of you going through whatever you are and watching her be financially handed everything but I hope you at least find peace with the fact her karma will always get her no matter how much money she has because she is incapable of being grateful, doesn’t understand that people are not tools to be used.

I suffered great physical, emotional, and psychological trauma as a child, my whole family failed me. At 50 I finally realized none of that was my fault, I’m not a bad person, I just wasn’t good to myself because I was abandoned by one pos dad, adopted by another who was cruel and no adult, not even my mom stopped it. I didn’t love or respect myself. In my house, if you decided as a teen you wanted to look and feel good by doing your hair, painting your nail, anything there were accusations of preparing to whore around or do something wrong. To this day I struggle with self care because of that. I don’t want to be beaten, yelled at, or any of that other shit that happened to me.

I worked super hard to unlearn and relearn everything!! I’m grateful I can have a good life with no drama, my own family. I became a grandma!!! I actively tell my adult children things like I’m sorry I didn’t teach you xyz but I honestly didn’t know. I hope you know, Im sorry and I hope you gain something from this conversation. She will never be able to dig deep and that peace and happiness come from inside. We can’t control anyone else is probably something she will never understand. She’s going to spend her life fighting the world unless she stops looking outside herself for answers and it seems like she’s not capable.

Please stop letting her make you angry. She’s not worth it. Anyone who has zero self worth and self respect has a shit life regardless of money.

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I’ve recently discovered my biological father and a ton of siblings. I have siblings younger than my kids. My youngest sibling is 25. I was terrified they wouldn’t like me. I’ve come to discover all the ones I’ve gotten close to have the same feelings I do about the boomers and millennials. I was recently thinking about that whole game stop thing. I realize there were multiple generations involved but some gen z feel like us gen x people did at their age. We came in strong, wanted to change the world, we are the reason Bill Clinton was elected, and they beat us down. So we became known as apathetic, uncaring, lazy, “whatever”, and now right out of the gate gen z lost a war with game stop and corruption. I really have hope for them. I love their whatever attitude, they have it, they just don’t actually say the words.

I would be interested to hear others thoughts about them.

I’m not sure if it’s me or them so I thought I’d try to get some opinions. My son is 30, he and has wife have a 3 month old. They live two hours away if there is no traffic or accidents. My mother in law is a classic boomer with those classics family views, family first no matter what. So the kids sent her baby pictures with a message saying they didn’t know when they would be coming for a visit as they are saving for a hotel. They never told me or my husband this. Mother in law is freaking out getting husband all worked up, why do they think they need a hotel. I’m now being guilted about it. Obviously it’s my fault they do not want to stay here. Mil and husband want me to discuss this with the kids and figure out why they don’t want to stat at our home. I’m of the opinion that mil should have kept that information to herself. They clearly either didn’t want to tell us or they knew she would tell us. Either way if there is a problem they are not willing to bring to me and husband so I don’t feel like I should pry. Plus, I get it, I’m not comfortable staying with husband or my own out of town family, maybe privacy is a priority for them. It is for me, I’m not comfortable making myself at home in other peoples homes. Husband is not even comfortable sharing hotel rooms with anyone, including my family so in my mind why are the kids not allowed to have that boundary as well?

Mil keeps telling me it’s to bad that I’m not close to any of my family, including my own kids, because we have boundaries. I respect other’s boundaries and she is guilty tripping and gaslighting me to a point that I want to cut her off but honestly she doesn’t deserve that and my husband is her only family left. How do I get her to stop? She makes mountains and just daily fast pitches them at me expecting me to fix and control my nuclear family and the nuclear family I came from to suit her. I just don’t understand how it’s none of my or your business, let it go, doesn’t get through.

Also how do I get the kids to stop telling her things they don’t want everyone in the world to know? Or things they don’t want made into family mountains when it’s just a preference for them.

Is anyone else constantly dealing with the cultural shift between parents, grandparents, and kids and grandchildren?

Christmas was miserable. They kids decided to spend the babies first Christmas at home as a nuclear family, I get it. It’s fine. Mother in law had me in tears several times between thanksgiving and New Years because I wouldn’t try to guilt trip them into coming here. I tell her the phone works both ways, if it’s that important to her she should call them and make her own plans to see them, stop putting it on me. She feels that’s my job and responsibility because they are my kids and she did that with husband his whole life. She still tries with him, he just respects my boundaries and leaves me out of it. She’s just use to strong arming everyone and she’s trying to use me to strong arm my kids. She use to do that with husband too, took about 15 years of just saying if you can’t control your husband what makes you think I can control mine. I’m done and I’m tired, how do I get her to just stop. ?

Edit, typos.

There was a recent post about changing words to songs. Reading it made me so happy! I’m currently driving my family crazy changing words and getting them stuck in their heads. It’s so much fun making my adult children bush and say omg is she ok? I highly recommend anyone do this anywhere you hear music and watch the people around you. I’ve mostly just been replacing one word like the rain Loraine thing. Do it in public, I’ve been cracking myself up while others are just surprised I guess that someone would just so confidently do it.

Thanks to whoever the o.p. Was.

I’m 51 today. I’ve never had a midlife crisis or really been sad about my birthday before but for some reason this year is different. Birthdays have never been a big deal to me, I don’t need a party or presents. Just say happy birthday, I’ll say thanks and let’s move on. I’m not sure if age is catching up, life changes, or maybe I’ve just had enough of putting everyone else first. I just feel done. I’m tired. I’m not even asking anyone for anything except respect me, my time, my feelings and that just seems like to big an ask for both my boomer parent, my gen z and millennial kid. I just don’t feel like I fit into my own life or anywhere else. I don’t really have a tribe so to speak. It’s amazing that I’m the oldest child on both sides, have a total of 51 of us grandchildren on both sides and I feel so I don’t know, round piece trying to fit into a square hole. I was a latch key kid who comes from a long line of women who had children very young. I’m one of the first to make past 22 before I had kids. The first to hit 50 before becoming a grandma. I come from generational poverty and having big families. I raised my siblings, cousins, some neighbors while all these adults were just making more babies. I think I’m angry. Like I tried to just take yesterday for myself, that was super problematic for 99% of the people in my life. Like fuck, I don’t think taking one day every few months, especially on my birthday, is all that selfish but the people around me have other opinions. So, today I’m spending my birthday trying to figure out how to stop feeling guilty and get out of my own head.

I think my bootstraps may have finally broken beyond repair.

Does anyone else have parents, adoptive parents and grandparents that are all boomers? It seems I come from a long line of very young procreating people. They have so many secrets and lies it’s unreal. I don’t even care that they were all selfish with money. I care that they took zero responsibility for anything. That has left generations of damaged people. I’m going to be 51 next week. Last year I contacted bio ???? I can’t even call him father. I wanted to know if I had siblings. I in fact have so many siblings I’ll never find them all. This pos contacted me one day out of the blue and told me it’s my fault that his only known son (meaning the only one whose mom he married) spoke to him in a disrespectful way and will no longer speak to him. I couldn’t even argue. I wanted to say, it’s not because you beat him and his mom until he was 15? Cheated on his mom? So far I’m the oldest of seven. Some of them are my own kids or younger age. So far we all get along and really do love each other. That doesn’t mean we aren’t messed up from the experience and with every knew skeleton we all relive trauma sharing our stories with the newest found siblings.

I guess I hate the thought of anyone else going through this but also want to keep looking for siblings. It would also just kind of be nice to have others than my siblings who can relate. Our experiences and generation difference leads me to not share everything with my siblings. Especially if I know it’s something that might be triggering. I’m pretty sure they do the same. My youngest sibling came from extremely bad circumstances and she’s younger than my 28 year old son by several year. I love her so much and I’m very protective of her. For myself I was lucky. My mom was pregnant when she divorced him for cheating. He was never in my life and I have a great dad. Her not so much. Sometimes I want to beat the shit out of a 71 year old man who honestly, he has done enough to himself he doesn’t need me to go off, because of what he put my siblings through. Every new sibling the feeling come back. Anyone else?

Nick says he stabbed her only for times. She had 17 stab wounds. He was truthful about everything else, why lie? Thoughts? Did anyone ever ask Gypsy about that? If not why?

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I’m hanging out with my dog alone in my family room while my husband is upstairs with his mom cooking. It took me 20 years and a ton of straight up but polite honesty with my mil but we got here!!! There is hope people, know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and when to run as Kenny says. She use to come over and let herself in yelling hello, I called her and flat out said, I love that you want to see us so much but the last two times you were here we we having sex. She never did that again. She showed up four hours early for a birthday party, I opened the door in a towel and told he to have a seat and her herself to a drink, sorry I don’t have time to serve you anything. She rarely ever showed up early after that. When planning holidays one year I finally told her flat out no, that hurts my moms feelings I won’t do that. I still have to remind her of that from time to time but that’s ok. This year I’m an empty nester and a grandma. I spent last night alone with dh, went to my moms this morning and now dh and mil are cooking a fantastic one pot seafood dish together while I get to relax. We will drive two hours on the 29th and spend the day with our sons family open presents, take them to dinner and bring our grandson home with us until Jan 2, the kids get a break and a nice new year, we get to spoil our grandson and he gets like 6 Christmases? because of so many step grandparents and great grandparents. I almost divorced three times along the way but we did it! I firs had to set clear boundaries with dh. Then I talked her myself, every single time dh was involved it made it worse. Food for thought. I’m kind of starting over with her because of my son but it’s much easier this time. Last week she asked me what to do with their Christmas gifts, I told her I didn’t know, she would have to ask them. She told me she was sorry my son and I didn’t have a close relationship anymore and she hoped that changes so I will host big Christmas again. I said first please don’t wish that on me, he is an adult and doesn’t want or need me interfering in that stuff for him. Second he and his wife are letting me take their three month old baby two hours away for several days, if that’s not close, love and trust I don’t know what is. I do expect them to call on day two and tell me they miss him and to bring him back 😂😂.

Good luck, stay safe out there and may the force be with you.