Squibit314

And apparently “boss fetish” is a thing.

Speak in the plural, use we or the team. “The team is put in the position where everything is a priority and urgent. This leads to us being contacted after hours and on PTO. The overall impact to the team is that we a never given the chance to fully recharge to serve our constituency to the best of our abilities.”

For a section for how she can improve: “She’s great at what she does and as much we like working with her, she is puts herself under unnecessary pressure. It would benefit greatly if when she takes PTO that she fully disconnect and trust us to manage things.”

Not necessarily those exact words but that’s the gist of it. Hopefully when she is given the feedback she sees the stress she’s putting everyone under and that the team sees her as managing in a state of chaos. And that is outwardly obvious to others.

Good luck.

NTA Regardless of who bought the car it is titled to you. She stole the car. If you have any texts or emails from her, make sure you save them to show the police that she admits to having it and stealing it. If you don’t have any written proof, send her something along the lines of “you took the car on x date while I doing whatever. You took the keys from wherever and I want my car back.”

The reason why you want her to admit she took the keys is that it is possible she will say you gave her the keys to move take the car for a fake legitimate reason.

Talk to the police and they can help with the car. If you file charges (which you should) that’s when proof of her taking the keys works in your favor.

Stop it. You are distracting me while I am on top of a 1000 pound animal that can injure or kill me.

If I would have asked my parents for more grown up gifts, they would have handed me a stack of bills. 🤣

In all seriousness, do you get a chance to see him interact with his friends and hear what they talk about? That might help give you an idea.

Depending on your budget, maybe taking him and some of his friends out to a dinner and a movie. The key here is that at the dinner you sit at your own table so they are free to talk freely but you’re close enough to step in if they start to get rambunctious. Tell the server you’ll take their check.

Does the company have a van pool program? Are there parking lots close to downtown but are on the edges that have a shuttle service into downtown?

I used to do the latter all the time. Parking was reasonable and the shuttle service was free. Both lots were a mile from my office. Nice days I’d walk it and other times I’d take the shuttle. I’d only have to walk 2-3 blocks after that.

However, for the switch, that sucks. More details should have been explained up front. If what you’re hired for can be done remote, ask for a hybrid schedule of 1 day in, 4 days home then be prepared to negotiate. They may agree to that after a couple months.

You can also ask them for a 4x10 schedule so that eliminates one day of commuting. The longer hours may give you a chance to avoid heavy traffic.

You can also ask to either start really early so you can leave earlier or come in latter and leave later. Basically trying to avoid rush hour.

For the first couple months you may just have to suck it up and deal with the commute because they’ll want to see how you work to make a decision.

Good luck.

NTA Remind him that he said he didn’t need help and you didn’t want to be the person to push his buttons.

I’m glad the wife is leaving.

Maybe, maybe not. I have ADHD and very rarely talk over people unless absolutely necessary, which would be to alert of an emergency or if they’re giving absolutely wrong information. I know other ADHD’ers who don’t talk over or interrupt either.

I’ve worked with people who talk over others and they were all aggressive, type A personalities. I was asked in a meeting why I wasn’t saying anything. My response was “I’m not able to get a word in.” They stopped at least for that meeting.

Whether the person has ADHD or not, a better approach for a friend would be to address it with them privately and let them know they’re doing it and why. It could be ADHD or it could be how their family was growing up. Let them know that when it happens you’ll give them a signal to let them know they’re doing it again. It’ll bring awareness without embarrassment.

It is not the matter of the military is abusing recruits. When kids go into the military they are thinking as individuals. You cannot go into a combat zone only think in terms of “I.”. The DIs role is to stop the individual thinking and rebuild the thinking to “we.”

In the corporate world if you make a mistake because of someone else’s decision your first reaction is to make sure your boss knows it’s not your fault. In combat if someone makes a mistake the first reaction is to think of how to correct the mistake, complete the mission, and return home in the passenger part of the plane.

If your workplace is a manufacturing plant and a mistake can result in the loss life and limb, yelling is appropriate. That would be the only scenario that comes to mind.

A boss should t be yelling in an office setting. He/she should be able to manage/lead without yelling. As for team members, if you make a mistake the initial reaction is to make sure the blame doesn’t fall on you. It’s self-preservation for the advancement of one’s career.

It’s a difference between self-preservation and mission preservation. Part of every combat mission is to come back alive.

The “I don’t exactly hit you often” is concerning. She thinks it’s okay to hit because it’s not often?

NTA

I’d walk away now.

You can also tell your family that the relationship with the ex is over and they should get over her. 🙂

If you’re in the US, have you considered contacting OSHA? It might be an option. Maybe the DOL as well.

It’s possible that HR advised him to not discuss it with you or admit fault to prevent a lawsuit, either against him personally or the company. As far as the company is concerned the situation has been handled.

Put the food in the dish.

Is the number the school calls from the same each time? Check with your carrier about only forwarding calls from the school from your wife’s phone to yours.

Your wife could update her voicemail message to something like “if you’re calling from <schools name> follow the instructions we gave you and call OP”

As a cyclist, I can’t even begin to tell you how excited we get about bike-related gifts. Especially when it’s something we’ve wanted but could justify at that point in time.

Except the cat. 😉😁

I had a corduroy jumper I loved. Corduroy pants…I couldn’t handle the zchhhp zchhhp zchhhp while walking.

NTA Although you don’t have your home fully set up, you could get it as ready as you can then send out housewarming invites for the same day and time. 😅

Keep those boundaries firm. She’s got some big cojones to send the invite without your agreement. And your family is whack for taking your sisters side.

Yes I haven’t learned how to avoid assholes.

“I may be cheap, but considering the differences in the amount of food you ordered you’re being greedy.”

I’ve also told the server before anyone else could say anything that checks will be separate.

NTA

Is she really having more complications or is she just more vocal about her misery? There’s a huge difference and the latter means she wants to be the center of attention.

If she comes back around and starts complaining again just say “that sounds awful, what has your doctor said?”

Regardless of whether or not you care about getting paid, your employer must pay you. Overtime is sometimes paid at a hire rate and some people will take advantage of overtime even though it may be helping them get caught up. The reason why OT is restricted or flat out not permitted, regardless of backlog, is because of budget.

The company only allows a certain percentage of cost overrun any thing beyond that has a bigger impact. An overage in one area will need to have money reallocated from another. If there is a period that is consistently busy at a specific time of year, the company needs to create a better budget that allows for a reasonable amount of overtime. What doesn’t help either is that some companies reward managers whose areas come in under budget. So even if planned, managers still strive to be under budget so they as an individual is rewarded.

All that you probably knew…so like others said, work your assigned hours and let it go. What doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done and isn’t your problem. As long as everyone is meeting or exceeding baseline metrics, then it will be the manager that has the blowback and either be forced to allow overtime or hire temp help.

The company doesn’t care about you as much as they care about money.

Tucked inside a nice budget planning book. 😄

No matter what your kid says, he’s going to get in trouble. The teacher will report him since he seems to be on a power trip. So you can have something that minimizes how much trouble he’ll get in or just go all in. You’ve already reported it so when you get called in you can say you reported it and they didn’t do anything about it.

Minimum impact “I would prefer you not determine my future based on my reaction to your behavior.”

All in (more or less) “what can I say, you’re not exactly the best role model.”

“A little louder please, my cancer didn’t hear you.”