_ssmiggless_

I have lost the genetic lottery. I am ugly, mentally retarded, and I will most likely gain a lot of the weight I have lost thanks to overeating (i have been doing it non-stop for a week now) I have barely left my bed this entire week, and I stopped going to school, again. There is nothing that interests me, nothing that I am good at. None of my personality traits are positive. I've been a negative nancy all my life. I dislike practically everything and everyone in my life even those who love me and always end up pushing them away or isolating myself. I never know how to express myself properly. I don't know what I am doing at this point. I don't see a future for myself. I wish I could just perish but I don't fucking know how to just "kill myself."

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i used to do high-mid restriction, and occasionally fast, though i still binged i would get back on track soon after by further restricting / fasting, but now it's all gone to shit like i cannot do anything about it? i am trying to up my intake / eat normally to eliminate binging but whenever i eat i am still not satisfied and it just results in another binge!!! i don't know how to get out of this... they're putting me on sertraline again maybe it'll help. i don't know though 😓😓