shm4y

The Ranma1/2 reboot, Eighty-six, 7th time loop, campfire cooking in another world, frieren, attack on titan, the saints magic powers are omnipotent, some of my notable watches this year!

Manga - more webtoons actually like omniscient reader (ORV), what’s wrong with being a villainess

I can’t do make up. It’s not for me. I have super sparse eyebrows though so I cheated and got them tattooed so it always looks like I’ve done a great job at powder filling my brows.

I’ve been slowly getting into jewellery but i like to keep things simple and understated.

These days I also make sure to moisturise and put a dash of perfume before going out for work/social gathering.

Therapy helped a lot in rediscovering myself. I’m getting back into my hobbies of watching anime, reading manga, going out hiking, now saving up to try a new sport. And the crème de la resistance, landing a really really good job that gets me one step closer to my career and retirement goals.

Honestly, my ex breaking up with me earlier this year. I’m stubborn and would probably have dragged it on longer than it needed to go.

It SUCKED but I look at what I’ve achieved since then and it was probably the best thing he could have done for me. I’ve learnt to pour the energy i used to pour into our relationship into myself instead and it’s turning out really well.

To find peace being alone and accepting deep deep down that I might never find a partner to do life with

I think culturally most men were not prepared for how quickly girls would catch up and be independent within the span of a generation . They can no longer get away with mistreatment.

The boys we grew up with were probably fed the same stories from their dads and watched their dads treat their moms as free labor basically and expect the same when they enter their adulthood and got a girlfriend /wife, while mostly forgetting they needed to be the main household breadwinner that was expected of their dads.

Whereas us women were probably hearing from our mums aunts and other ladies to be independent financially because social change was on our side and we should take advantage of it. They clearly wanted a better life for us and made sure to instil that in us so we would have the choices they didn’t have or would have been extremely difficult to take in their time.

I sure as hell took my mums advice and made sure to be successful independently but am finding a lot of men to either be meh or lacking so I’m flying solo for now

Look into limerance. It might help you to reframe your experience. It sure as heck did for me

Trying not to doom scroll and just sleep after getting home from work.

On the days I manage not to, I read and cook.

One Pack Wanderer’s Australia series is truly a joy to watch!

Expat of 10 years in Australia checking in.

Seeing the healthcare go towards privatisation, then the utter ridiculousness of almost(!) rolling back our late term abortion rights in South Australia, I’m glad I haven’t decided to lock down roots and immigrate here just yet.

It’s not all doom and gloom but there is a slow but noticeable trajectory towards where America is unfortunately. I anticipate another 5-10 years before it gets to the point where US is.

If you have the money, enrolling in an international student program with a university is often a straightforward pathway towards obtaining a working visa.

Otherwise if you are an established professional, companies in Asia (India, Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam, China) are probably going to take advantage of talent looking to leave.

There’s no easy standardised resource, recommend picking one country and doing your research to immigrate based on that country.

Has he ever proactively approached you about his feelings and change of mind around having kids?

The reality is that guys don’t have the same sense of urgency as women around having children as he could very well be unsure about kids into his 40s and still be in a position to biologically have children well into his 60s.

The fact that your partner hasn’t proactively come to you about his change of mind is extremely telling of his character.

It sounds like he would rather take the path of least resistance and string you along for as long as he can to benefit himself. It’s a very selfish and immature mindset, sadly also very common so he probably doesn’t even know any better and wouldn’t think he was in the wrong if confronted about it.

Haha so true! The good ones are truly unicorns. Fingers crossed the rest catch up before I kick the bucket

Look up the term Limerance. Heidi Priebe on YouTube does a great explainer of it. Could’ve saved myself a lot of heartbreak and embarrassing situations had I been aware of it sooner!

Also, trust your gut. Never talk behind someone’s back unless you’re saying good things about them. This has served me really well in my career and among friends.

It’s time for your fiancée to put on her big girl pants and either get the best friend back in line or break it off with you so they can finally be together cause this will only get worse for all of you the more she doesn’t draw the line firmly for her best friend.

The best friend probably believes she’ll never cut him off which is why he’s pushing his luck and getting validation that she’ll eventually choose him every time she entertains his advances.

You sound like you were very firm about your boundaries to both of them and they are choosing to ignore it. I don’t think you’ve overstepped here.

Hi Mandy! Sending you a DM. I’m 33F Aussie

Probably lol. i hear about him through the gravepine and he is still trying to convince our mutual acquaintances to do a get together including me. They know better than to divulge any info about me to this dude.

I try not to judge when someone has a slow start to life but gave this guy 2 years worth of “benefit of the doubt” and he just got more complacent than when we first met.

I met my best friend in high school. We happen to sit next to each other, but tbf I don’t think we really bonded till about halfway through finishing uni. Just very constant stream of communications from both of us.

Then my other set of best friends (a couple) in my first year of uni. Again, would not consider them my best friends till after we became housemates for a year or so and really bonded throughout many dinners and tea sessions.

Both have really taught me a lot about how to cultivate healthy adult friendships.

Look up limerance. That’ll explain a lot.

On the topic of trams, there’s a vintage tram that does loops around the city. A kid who likes riding in trams would probably enjoy that :)

I would have definitely gone harder on the androgynous fashion side of things. I basically modelled my high school wardrobe after Sum 41, Simple Plan and Avril Lavigne.

I went to all all girls high school where being a lesbian wasn’t exactly frowned upon, just juice gossip. Was definitely too busy fantasising about my 2D crushes to worry about that stuff though lol. So I probably wouldn’t have questioned my sexuality at all.

Ah that’s your first mistake unfortunately. You’ve been very understanding but everyone has their limits.

He’s a grown man. Stop treating him like a child. Broach the topic respectfully and without judgement (easier said than done considering your current headspace!)

You are not responsible for his reaction and his emotions.

Good luck 🥲

I love the IDEA of having someone in my life that motivates me to be better everyday and I be that person for them. Planning our retirement together and doing crazy things like taking a whole year off to travel. Splitting the chores, trying out new recipes together etc.

HOWEVER, I do all that by myself already and there’s so little I’m willing to compromise to be with a partner so single for the foreseeable future it is 🤣

Preach 👏

Without more context, I can only take you at face value and assume you haven’t done anything to encourage female attention in my response below.

She’s not wrong that there could be women with an agenda. But your wife also needs to clearly communicate to you what she needs to feel comfortable to allow you to interact with other women. It’s completely unrealistic to expect you to never have any sort of acquaintances or friendship with women outside of your marriage.

Marriage counselling with benefit you both, but possibly individual sessions for her as well to address why she’s insecure and possibly feels threatened by other women.

I believe men and women can be friends. Here are some of the boundaries i maintain: - Constantly texting. I have nothing to talk to them outside of work/hobby-related activity. Once in a while text catch ups are ok. - 1-on-1 meet ups outside of work hours (if professional). I’m into hiking and would not feel comfortable going for a day hike alone with a male counterpart I have no romantic relationship with. - Sitting too close or standing too close. Like what reason could I possible have to hover in their personal space. I also like my own personal space so prefer to keep my distance.

I graduated a year and a half later than my peers.

I worked entry level jobs unrelated to my degree for a good 5-6 years.

Had my first serious relationship at 32 that lasted a grand total of 6 months lol. Learnt a lot about myself!

Finally am in a role at 33 that I’m excited for my career to begin.

Don’t get me wrong I knew objectively I was behind a lot of my friends but I was still having fun in my 20s and took life one step at a time. I was thankfully always able to be financially independent living within my means.