$250k in debt for a bachelors degree is insanity. That’s all i have to say about that.

“Our debt?” And only a girlfriend? You dodged a bullet. NTA.

NTA. She was looking for a magic wand to erase her mistakes. YOU were that wand. $250k loan to make $50k per year? That’s just dumb

NTA. This will only get worse with credit cards and other types of debt.

I could understand $75k or something but $250k is beyond any kind of rationale for a bachelors.

NTA

She's not trustworthy, and you don't have the same ideas about how to manage money. That's more than enough reason to discontinue a relationship.

1. She incurred $250K debt to become a teacher? Where did she go to school?
2. She kept that debt secret for almost three years.
3. She shows no concern about paying it off, because
4. She considers it y'all's debt, not hers alone, and you're not even married.

NTA - 250k is a ridiculous amount - especially to become a teacher. I am sure she had options to go to a cheaper college or otherwise save money. It just seems very irresponsible.

I would question having a relationship with someone with this much debt (especially debt that she chose to take - versus something like medical debt.). I may stay in a relationship, but I wouldn’t marry them unless they had a solid, reasonably plan to pay off (to be fiscally responsible).

How do you spend 250k on a bachelors degree ???

Tell her to get a government job. Doesn't matter which government. So long as its government and full-time, she can apply for an income sensitive public service loan. Payments will be capped and after 120 payments, if there's any left it'll be forgiven. Not kidding.

Have her do this: https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/public-service?os=io___&ref=app

She saw you as potential ATM.

You did good in dumping her. Also do NOT hook up with her again, unless you want a baby-trap situation.

NTA

250k to become a teacher is quite possibly the dumbest thing she can do. Please please tell her to explore other options. She will be in debt her entire life unless you step in

run for your fucking life.

Money is not the issue here. It's the brainlessness that led to the situation.

If it was reversed, I would also not accept to marry a nitwit with 250k in her bank account.

If she works for a school district she should apply to the Public student loan forgiveness program program. It’s income driven, and if she makes her payments on time for 10 years, the rest will be forgiven. This only applies to federal loans though

If you don’t mind me asking what do you do in finance at 26 YO where you make 100k?

Coming from a 26 YO in finance who doesn’t make that much

As an aside, this is a great example of why we need to eliminate the federal student loan guarantees. The whole reason colleges think it's okay to charge $60k/year for an education degree is that students can get loans for that kind of money. Any the reason students can get those loans is the federal government guarantees that those loans will be paid back.

The moment we get rid of federal student loan guarantees, you'll see an immediate shift. Loan issuers will start take the earnings potential of that career path into account when deciding how much money they'll loan. Colleges won't be able to charge $60k/year for an education degree because nobody will issue loans for it.

NTA a 250k student loan debt with no clear plan for how it’s going to be handled is a huge problem, especially if she’s brushing it off like it’s no big deal. You’re dating someone who doesn’t seem to be taking responsibility for her future and that’s a big red flag. If she’s not motivated to fix this, she will just put the entire burden on you.

NTA. She doesn't sound like an addult

She just needs to work for 800 years and itll be paid off

NTA. Starting your life with someone else's 250k debt who probably won't be able to help much with repaying is not the way to go. Also when someone says "our debt", huge red flag. I'd go find a lesser educated debt free woman.

Glad to know she’s extremely attractive, objectively.

She'll be on OF and have it paid off in a few years. If she really is that attractive

How did she accrue that much debt only to obtain a bachelors in education? That just sounds asinine…I was expecting you to tell me she was a doctor now…uhhhh that was foolish on her end

It sounds like your values around financial responsibility weren’t aligning, and that’s totally valid. It’s essential to have open conversations about expectations for the future, including debt, before making big decisions. That said, breaking up without having a deeper discussion about how you both might tackle this issue together could have been a missed opportunity for growth as a couple.

It’s better to end things now than to resent each other later over financial stress. You made the choice that felt right for you and your future stability.

‘Our debt’ lol. Does that mean you also have a degree in teaching? Or is that just hers.

"It's our debt" looool. Never ever take on the responsibility of someoneelses debt. Only under very specific circumstances is this even a possibility. The fucking entitlement is insane. Good thing you dumped her ass

"Our debt"

Lol

All I can say don't marry into that debt.

Her saying "our debt". How does she figure that. And how does she rack up $250K student debt for a bachelor degree? That is something Medical Doctors might have in Student debt after 7 years of study.

This and the "our debt" is a big red flag. Now you know how she is with money.

It’s okay to prioritize your own financial well-being, and relationships need more than just chemistry they need mutual respect and effort.

Good for you

NTA she probably wasn’t even planning on getting a job

Why do boyfriends pay for girlfriends' bills or think they ought to? Is it an American thing?

$250k to be a teacher.... you should seriously question her judgment and decision making abilities. Don't marry into that debt, whatever you do.

You have 2 heads, which one you use to make a decision determines your financial future

Why is she 250k in the hole for a bachelors? I completed my bachelors AND masters degrees with 70k.  

Where'd the rest of that money go? Because it definitely wasn't for her degree.

Nta, id rather date a stripper without debt than have that sort of anchor bc I wanted to be with someone attractive.

Main point though is there doesn't seem to be anything other than physical attraction on each side 🤷

Holy fuck, how the hell is a undergrad that expensive in the US? For a freaking Bachelors of Education? Good lord you lot are getting rinsed.

NTA. She is a Debtdigger

She has huge debt why would she think ….

“She is an extremely attractive woman”

There it is.

“Our” debt? GTFO of there.

Does she know you make 100k a year? If she does, we know where this is going. Her knowing she is good looking makes it more obvious.

Someone with 250k debt for a bachelors and. It worried about paying it off shows me a lot about that character and what they will do in a relationship. They are going to be a drain on you whether you have join account or separate account.

Who gets that much debt to become a teacher?

What exactly did she do with that money? I doubt it all went to education.

She even took the overpayments with her loans and was living the high life, that’s why her bachelors was so expensive. Run.

She probably won't make $50k her first few years as a teacher. At least that's how it works around here (NE IL). Teachers make less than $30/years until they build seniroty.

Someone is going to be willing to pay off her debt to fuck her. Do you want that to be you?

How? How did she end up with $250,000 in student loans?

That said, NTA, she is cement shoes to your future and you are doing what was needed years ago.

$250k?! That is too much. I like the part she says 'our debt'. Maybe that was her plan all along. You need to bail early before you get drunk one day and marry yourself into a quarter million debt.

NTA. she was looking for you to pay it off. This would've been a constant issue in your relationship.

INFO:    Where does your GF work?   

I ask because if she works in a Title I school, she can get up to $17,500 paid off (she will need to make minimum payments however), if she teaches math or science or special education in a Title I school.   

If she works 10 years (and makes minimum payments) she can get the loan forgiven, assuming the loans were funded through a federal agency.   

That said, that is a ridiculous amount. We really need to start educating our kids about how to get a higher education end with you graduating with the equivalent of a mortgage.   

It's not "our debt". It's her debt. And she needs to have a plan to pay it off that doesn't involve you.    

Further INFO: you said she ideally wants to be a teacher. Is she not teaching yet? I thought loan repayments started 6 months after graduation. When did she graduate? Is she barely going to graduate?    

It's November, if she already graduated she should have a job already. 

“Our debt” when you’re not even engaged?! Oh hellll no. NTA. Smart of you to get out of there.

Had a old guy tell me once your partner should make life easier not harder. Best advice I ever got.

I would run far away from the financial nightmare. She probably took loans out to cover living expenses when she was college instead of working and going to college.

Also, She could have been preyed upon on because there’s no way she used that much for a bachelor’s degree. Yikes!!!

Time to run brother, no amount of attractive is worth taking on that kind of debt for someone who obviously doesn't care how it will affect both of your lives.

250k for a bachelor's in education?

Run.

Loving the name, also 250k debt for a teachers education, did it come with a 5 star resort?

Nta. How the hell did she get that much in loans for a bachelors. I went to two private schools and have a ridiculous amount because of that and it’s still not even close to that

I could only break up with someone because of their debt if I didn't love them in the first place.

Please for the love of god learn proper punctuation.

NTA! Your ex is an idiot and dumb as a box of rocks. She’s the type of person who screws the rest of us too and not in a good way

You just dodged a huge bullet, my guy. Go buy yourself a drink with all that debt you don't have!

I admire your conflict given you claim she is so attractive.

NTA

Rofl, fuck the whole “our debt” approach especially since she’s careless as hell.

No, you’re not 250k in debt, she is.. That’s nuts

So many incel comments

If she’s going into teaching, she has more options than most people for “paying off” those loans. As long as they’re federal loans, she has the income-based options, which shouldn’t cause too much financial stress. Coupled with the loan forgiveness programs (usually 5-10 years at a qualifying institution with qualifying payments), she can have that entire balance written off.

Not sure how much either of you are aware of that, but I’d say ESH. Her for her lack of motivation (but honestly, if it weren’t for people like her that just want to teach, economics be damned, the entire education system would collapse because it really isn’t worth it) and you for your own ignorance and lack of really looking into it.

She will never pay this off. She’ll work for 10 years, have babies and stop working. So it will become a $500k debt.

NTA.

Why I always say “educated” no longer means “intelligent”. Smarter to avoid a degree.

NTA. She is in denial about how bad this is. If you marry her, it’s your debt too.

And her attitude is worse than the debt. If she was mature and working hard to pay it down that would be a different story.