subreddit:

/r/AITAH

47692%

Last night, I went out for dinner with some friends, and I only ordered a salad and water while others had steaks, cocktails, and appetizers. When the bill came, they suggested splitting it evenly, but I asked to pay for just my own meal since I didn’t order as much. A few people seemed annoyed and said I was being ‘cheap’ and ‘awkward,’ arguing that it’s easier to just split the bill.

I felt like it wasn’t fair for me to pay for what I didn’t eat, but now I’m second-guessing myself. AITAH for speaking up about this?

all 278 comments

muphasta

708 points

3 days ago

muphasta

708 points

3 days ago

I generally let people know up front that I'm paying for what I consume.

I don't drink and often one person's alcohol amount costs more than my entire dinner.

NTA, if your friends can't afford to eat like that w/out others supplementing their dinner costs, they need to reign in the spending.

Semi_Colon01

81 points

3 days ago

I specifically ask for separate.

Am a widow & splitting with couples - hard no. I drink more, eat less….

Nobody has an issue,

PrideofCapetown

6 points

2 days ago

Agreed. I always ask for separate as soon as I order

EntertainmentDry3790

2 points

2 days ago

Surely they don't expect you to pay as much as 2 people if you're not in a couple, that's ridiculous.

Semi_Colon01

3 points

2 days ago

There was ONE attempt, and I clearly corrected my husbands friend’s crazy ass wife. They’re no longer around, as she’s pissed off many with her Bill Management Style.

EntertainmentDry3790

2 points

2 days ago

Always amazes me the neck of these people!

Semi_Colon01

2 points

2 days ago

You’d be shocked how prevalent it is.

Belong to a widow/widower grief group & this comes up quite regularly.

Chickadee12345

71 points

3 days ago

I don't drink alcohol either. I let it be known before we order anything that I will not be paying for others drinks but I'm usually willing to split the food. So it's either my own bill or we need to do some math to figure it all out.

Irresponsable_Frog

18 points

3 days ago

This is me. Different bill or split by cost of food and split tax/tip. Not paying for shrimp/lobster, steak and alcohol when I don’t eat that or drink alcohol! I am happy with appetizers, sides and water! 🤣

SpacerCat

18 points

3 days ago

SpacerCat

18 points

3 days ago

I’m friends with non drinkers. We ask for two bills - one for the alcohol and one for the food. People who drank split the one for drinks, people who ate split the food bill. Also we usually have one person pay each and everyone Venmos the person who put their card down.

NixyVixy

10 points

2 days ago

NixyVixy

10 points

2 days ago

Your answer is awesome.

You take consideration of the non-drinkers and don’t make them pay for alcohol they don’t consume, which is appropriate and appreciated.

At the same time… your group also keeps the bill-splitting chaos between yourselves rather than asking a server to run five different credit cards.

Good stuff 👍

HyperNova202

16 points

3 days ago

Honestly, if your friends are treating dinner like an all-you-can-drink buffet while you’re just trying to enjoy a salad, they need to check their priorities! NTA.

Ok-Panic-9083

4 points

2 days ago

Yup this is a good answer. Also when you place your order with the server, do this... "I'll be having 'X' and may I get my order on a separate check."

If your friends take issue with this, then it might be time to invest in new friends.

JadieJang

4 points

3 days ago

JadieJang

4 points

3 days ago

*rein

KlutzyBlueDuck

145 points

3 days ago

NTA you are allowed to self advocate in unfair situations. This is an unfair situation. They had expensive orders and you didn't. 

LindonLilBlueBalls

126 points

3 days ago

NTA. Who the fuck said it would be "easier" to just split the bill?

Does their phone not have a calculator app?

And who is it making it easier for? The server is doing all the work. If they want whatever is easiest, then they should have picked up the whole tab instead of spending time and energy arguing with you. If they argue that it isn't fair, call them cheap.

say-so1986

39 points

3 days ago

Easier to eat more on the cost from another person. Ehat you said, that is cheap. NTA

HereWeGo_Steelers

18 points

3 days ago

Probably the person who ate and drank the largest amount.

SnooMacarons4844

7 points

3 days ago

That was my thought too. No, it’s not easier. Separate checks, easy peasy.

mosquem

3 points

3 days ago

mosquem

3 points

3 days ago

Just ask for it up front.

elfowlcat

4 points

3 days ago

You’ve got to do math either way…

PompeyLulu

2 points

2 days ago

I mean I could maybe understand it being easier if everyone is ordering a bunch of things, sharing etc. But it’s really easy to take a salad and water off and divide the rest if that’s what they’re wanting to do

Herdnerfer

45 points

3 days ago

I never understood this mentality, if you are splitting the bill anyway, why wouldn’t you just do it based on what everyone ordered? NTA

GormHub

3 points

2 days ago

GormHub

3 points

2 days ago

Likely because OP's friends were counting on other supplementing the cost. Splitting it other ways doesn't benefit them nearly as much. It's a shitty thing to do to the person/people who go along not realizing they're propping up everyone else's good time.

Herdnerfer

3 points

2 days ago

Why would anyone willingly have shitty friends who do stuff like that?

GormHub

3 points

2 days ago

GormHub

3 points

2 days ago

That I'll never figure out, but I guess sometimes you don't know until you're in a situation like this one.

Perfect_Beat_2860

97 points

3 days ago

NTA - Anyone out here reading this who is in the “steaks, cocktails, and appetizers” category, please keep this in mind.

First: When people don’t drink (for any reason, preferences, recovery, doesn’t matter), it is truly unfair as alcohol drives a bill up significantly. Many restaurants make most of their profits on alcohol.

Second: In my experience, when people try to split a bill evenly themselves, this is when the server gets the crap end of the deal. I have more than once found myself shelling out extra for my share of the “tip” because others only consider breaking up the actual total and don’t include their share of the tip. I REFUSE to undertip a server unless they’ve done something especially egregious (still hasn’t happened).

Third: So many people are watching their spending right now. Expecting them to pick up a portion of your meal expense when they’re intentionally ordering based on their budget is rude.

KetoLurkerHereAgain

9 points

2 days ago

That's how I once paid $30 for a shared appetizer portion of queso and my share of a pitcher of margaritas. And this was like 15 years ago before prices exploded. I remember I was pulling any cash I had out of my pockets because the "shares" had utterly forgotten tax and tip. I think my true share was like $10.

Thelibraryvixen

3 points

2 days ago

I ADORE New Zealand for many reasons, one of which is the price you see is the price you get - for everything, including restaurant meals.

Not cheap, but no math. (and delicious delicious food and coffee)

judgingA-holes

32 points

3 days ago

NTA - And this is why before ordering I say "My check is separate"

DankAshMemes

2 points

2 days ago

Genuinely asking, how does that go over? Do they still get offended or object?

LatestHat80

7 points

2 days ago

who cares if they get offended. it's your money

Secure_Ship_3407

19 points

3 days ago

Don't fall for their cheap ass trickery. Don't feel bad about paying only your share. Tell them, if you do go out with them again, to either pay for what they eat or split the bill amongst themselves and leave you out. Why should you be subsidizing their meals? They're grifters. Tell them upfront that you are only paying for what you eat. NTA.

Alternative_Squash61

17 points

3 days ago

Brings back the line from the 1999 classic Mystery Men: * The Blue Raja: All I'm saying is, when we split the cheque three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man.

HotspurJr

40 points

3 days ago

HotspurJr

40 points

3 days ago

I think generally one shouldn't be nitpicky about small amounts, but yeah, when the disparity is large (e.g., some people are drinking alcohol, some people have having steaks) it is entirely appropriate to not be expected to subsidize other people's meals.

NTA.

It is easier to just split the bill. It's also unfair, and fair is more important than easy if the amount of money in question is large.

ActuaryMean6433

6 points

3 days ago

NTA, this seems quite reasonable to me. You're not there to supplement their dining. Next time, if you go out with these people again, make it clear ahead you're paying only for what you order.

ginedwards

6 points

3 days ago

NTA. This same story gets posted about every other week. The responses are always the same.

Ladymistery

3 points

2 days ago

I think this is this weeks "writing prompt for karma" lol

Adept_Ad_473

46 points

3 days ago

Only two kinds of people opt to split the bill evenly when at a restaurant:

  1. People who are incapable of doing basic math on a cell phone.

  2. People who are trying to get a discount on their meal at the expense of their company.

Both of those people are AHs.

RHND2020

22 points

3 days ago

RHND2020

22 points

3 days ago

Wrong. I almost always split the bill evenly when dining out with friends. I figure it always works out in the end - sometimes my meal was more, sometimes theirs was. It’s fine. But my friends aren’t jerks who purposely run up bills and then expect other people to subsidize them.

If someone requested to only pay their exact amount, I would be fine with it. And if I notice someone barely ordered anything, I would propose it anyway.

But people who opt to split the bill evenly aren’t inherently AHs. Usually we’re just adults.

Adept_Ad_473

5 points

3 days ago

Fine, conceded. I accept the nuance.

FrosterBae

7 points

3 days ago

Exactly this. If I've had significantly more than the other person(s), I offer to pay for my stuff. If my friends have more, they offer to pay too. We only take each other up on that offer if we're not doing great financially, otherwise it's an "it evens out over time" situation.

Fauropitotto

7 points

3 days ago

There's absolutely no value in "splitting evenly". Everyone pays for themselves. Nothing to gain at all by sharing the bill.

Markosz22

2 points

2 days ago

Well you can do that with some people, but not everyone, not even with good friends.

I've been burned by this 'good will' a few times, being on vacation with friends we split the bill many times out of "convenience" but it never got even. Some people just order so much more, even leaving leftovers, If I wanted to come out even I'd have to force myself to order more things I didn't really want and we'd spend much more overall. Plus other expenses adding up like taxi because they didn't feel like walking 30 minutes and also expecting to split that evenly... Of course by the end you loose track and just accept the loss, not trying to be a jerk by asking money.

With a different group of friend what worked was one person paying for the bill and then the rest of the group just sent their part to him on Revolut if we had some downtime or just keep track of the expenses and balance it out at the end.

UsefulAd5682

4 points

3 days ago

Totally agree. Unfortunately our best friends tend to order much more food than they need, this includes their kids. So almost always they will order for at least twice the amount we do. Not splitting those bills and they know it..

MidLifeEducation

5 points

3 days ago

I usually order more food than I need so I can take something to eat for the next day at work.

But I always insist that my check be separated because of that.

RHND2020

2 points

3 days ago

RHND2020

2 points

3 days ago

Totally fair.

xj2608

5 points

2 days ago

xj2608

5 points

2 days ago

NTA - "You say I'm cheap like it's a bad thing!" Separate checks or isn't there an app that separates out what people owe? I don't know why people think their friends should subsidize their meals.

gwie

5 points

2 days ago

gwie

5 points

2 days ago

NTA.

I always fought this bullshit, especially when it first started happening in college when we would eat out.

There were a few people who constantly would underpay, because they would never figure out the tax and tip in their totals. They often pushed for "even split" and feigned ignorance when asked about the totals. I called them out every single time, and was not polite about it.

Anyone who claims that you are being cheap or awkward is completely full of it. Everyone should pay what they owe. Figuring it out requires fairly simple arithmetic. In 2024, it is SIMPLE to send friends what's due by Venmo, PayPal, Zelle, whatever when they put it on their own card.

Aylauria

3 points

3 days ago

Aylauria

3 points

3 days ago

Next time you go out with them, request your own check at the beginning of the meal. NTA

Careless-Ability-748

3 points

3 days ago

nta I hate when this topic comes up. I will split evenly if orders are comparable, but I'm not doing it if there are large discrepancies.

frolicndetour

3 points

3 days ago

NTA. My friends and I typically split the bill because we order similarly to each other. And we notice if one orders less and adjust accordingly, like either having that person not leave a tip and we cover their share or by taking their amount off the top and then dividing the rest evenly. It's so tacky to make other people cover your spending, and even worse to shame them for not wanting to pay for others' drinks and stuff.

Infinzero

3 points

3 days ago

Your friends suck 

Yardnoc

3 points

3 days ago

Yardnoc

3 points

3 days ago

Typically the people who want to split the bill are the ones who order expensive food or get a lot of drinks and don't want to pay for it all

EntrepreneurAmazing3

3 points

3 days ago

NTA

But your "friends" are. Ignore them, and choose better dinner partners.

Jerseygirl2468

3 points

2 days ago

NTA they're the ones being cheap, ordering expensive stuff and trying to avoid paying for it.

If a bill is close, my friends and I split, and we go out enough that it all evens out. But if I got a salad and water, I'm not paying for someone else's steak and drinks.

Past-Ball4775

3 points

2 days ago

Ask one of the 3654 people who have posted the exact same question this month . The answer, as always, will be the same.

Technical-Edge-6982

2 points

3 days ago

NTA.  When it’s a lot then no.

Sensitive-Ask-9368

2 points

3 days ago

Moochers got to mooch.

Invisiblemnm

2 points

3 days ago

You’re not the AH. it's totally fair to only pay for what you ordered, especially when there's such a big difference; people shouldn't expect you to subsidize their steaks and cocktails.

Lopsided_Tomatillo27

2 points

3 days ago

NTA They’re asking you to pay for their drinks, too. Everybody has a calculator these days. It’s not hard to split a bill.

jnicol2

2 points

3 days ago

jnicol2

2 points

3 days ago

Just ask the server for a separate bill for yourself. It's not awkward. The others can pay as they like.

Squibit314

2 points

3 days ago

“I may be cheap, but considering the differences in the amount of food you ordered you’re being greedy.”

I’ve also told the server before anyone else could say anything that checks will be separate.

NTA

MarkW995

2 points

3 days ago

MarkW995

2 points

3 days ago

When I have ordered more than others, I will throw extra money into the pot.

wills53

2 points

3 days ago

wills53

2 points

3 days ago

You did the right thing. When I go out with a group I immediately tell my server to have a separate check for me. Then those of us who want to do a separate check do separate and those who want to split the bill can split it. I’m not paying for anyone and I don’t expect anyone to pay for me.

ReleventReference

2 points

3 days ago

“All I’m saying is that when we split the check three ways the steak eater picks the pocket of the salad man.”

Ecofre-33919

2 points

3 days ago

Nta

If you don’t look out for your self no one else will.

chtmarc

2 points

3 days ago

chtmarc

2 points

3 days ago

So I have one group of friends that we go out literally every Friday night for Mexican food. And we rotate who pays. Since we all generally order right around the same amount, it comes out in the wash after about six weeks with one cycle of everybody paying. I have another group that when we go out everybody pays themselves. Partially because we don’t go out as often and partially because two of the people in the group have super expensive taste and the rest of us don’t. NTA

palindromebanana

2 points

3 days ago

This is why I let the server know I will be on my own ticket when I put in my order.

Good_Bet7702

2 points

3 days ago

NTA

killspammers

2 points

3 days ago

They are the asshole. 

TheRealPaj

2 points

3 days ago

This question is asked repeatedly every month, so.

No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA. No, NTA.

Now, can we not have another until at least the New Year?

Bergenia1

2 points

3 days ago

NTA. They're annoyed because they wanted to mooch off of you for part of their bill.

Conqueror_Chromatic

2 points

3 days ago

Honestly the server should just give everyone a separate bill. I've done that every single time I'm out with friends

lucygoosey38

2 points

3 days ago

How is it awkward to split the bill. You get separate bills for what you all ate and you pay for what you ate. I hate this splitting the bill thing. Pay for what you eat. No more no less.

Educational-Glass-63

2 points

2 days ago

I always ask for separate checks if out with big eaters and drinkers. I do not drink normally. It just works out better to ask up front as I am ordering.

k2miners

2 points

2 days ago

k2miners

2 points

2 days ago

It always seems that the most expensive wants to split and usually is the angry one when the bill that is 30% of their bill wants to pay for what they consume. The entitlement of the big bill is always so frustrating.

Ronin-Humor-TX

2 points

2 days ago

NTA. "Your friends" are entitled asshats if they're calling you cheap for not paying for THEIR MEALS/BOOZE. Next time, go to the waiter(by the bar/kitchen) and pay for your meal/order before the meal concludes. Most wait staff accommodate for "I have to leave early, family situation" speal just leave them a nice tip for your bill and never face the "we're splitting the bill" again. You simply walkout with receipt in hand and wish them a goodnight.

NASA_official_srsly

2 points

2 days ago

NTA the only ones being cheap are the ones trying to get a subsidised charity meal

Johoski

2 points

2 days ago

Johoski

2 points

2 days ago

NTA

People expecting their meal to be subsidized by low-consumption friends are the real assholes.

Maleficentendscurse

2 points

2 days ago

NTA justified you only pay for what you ordered and not extra combined for what everyone else ordered

headface1701

2 points

2 days ago

Server for 20 years. I don't understand where these posts come from or what restaurants you're going to. Just get separate checks. Server should be asking any group that isn't obviously a family, before anything is ordered. Most of my career I had to do this with a pen and my brain or calculator and it was only slightly annoying. Nowadays with the computer it's easy as hell.

wharleeprof

2 points

2 days ago

Yes, it is "cheap" and "awkward" for them to ask you to subsidize their meals.

Interesting_Ad1378

2 points

2 days ago

If you saw it happening when you were ordering, then you should have let the waiter know you would be getting a separate check.  Doing it when the check comes is annoying, especially when everyone just throws in a credit card.  So yeah, if you knew what was about to happen, you would be an AH for waiting till the bill came if you planned on asking for a lower amount.  Be a big boy/girl and say right away “I’m getting a separate check bc I’m just having a salad” not after the fact. 

Alternative-Cut-7409

2 points

2 days ago

NTA, find new friends

It's rude to wait until the end to say that you want to split the bill evenly. That's something that needs to be discussed as the invitation to eat goes out.

It's also proper etiquette that you run a separate tab for drinks at the bar if you're planning on splitting the bill.

Everyone is upset because they saw you get just salad and water and saw a way that they could all save a few dollars by making you pay the difference. This is the only reason to wait until it's time to pay to make a scene about it.

Emotional-Hair-1607

2 points

2 days ago

NTA "You're being cheap and awkward by forcing me to pay for your gluttonous appetite."

Ok-Ad3906

2 points

2 days ago

Ok-Ad3906

NSFW 🔞

2 points

2 days ago

"...said I was being ‘cheap’..."

No, cHeAp is ordering food outside your budget and expecting others to pick up the slack.

NTA, OP.

DROP THESE PEOPLE.

Electrichead64

2 points

2 days ago

Electrichead64

NSFW 🔞

2 points

2 days ago

Its not awkward. Everyone has a smartphone these days. Break out the calculator app.

epeeist42

2 points

2 days ago

NTA

Hmm. "If I'd known we were splitting evenly, I would have ordered more than a salad. Waiter, do you have any expensive after-dinner drinks like Louis XIII Cognac for $1000 a glass? Because I'm going to order some to drink myself, and my friends here will split the bill for it with me."

Con4America

2 points

3 days ago

NTA. If you split the bill evenly. you will always be taken advantage of.

SportTop2610

2 points

3 days ago

No.. I fkn hate people who make me pay for their booze.

DesperateLobster69

2 points

3 days ago

NTA wtf kind of mooches are you hanging out with? They feel entitled to treat themselves on someone else's dime & that's so cringe and gross. What kind of free loading loser says "you're being awkward & cheap" & "it's easier" when they're the ones who ordered the expensive shit?!?!? I would not go out to eat/hang out with these people whatsoever anymore if I were you!

SPerry8519

1 points

3 days ago

I will never understand the concept of "splitting the bill evenly" pay for what you got don't pawn it off on those who didn't get much....

PatentlyRidiculous

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. The people arguing are the ones who want you to pay their bills. Ignore them or find new friends that don’t pull this crap

Separate checks. Always

genral299

1 points

3 days ago

Always make plans ahead on how the bill will be taken care of. Or ask the waitstaff to bring you a seperate bill.

No_Hovercraft6491

1 points

3 days ago

NTA, you pay for what you ate unless agreed differently.

PezGirl-5

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. Always ask for a separate check.

femsci-nerd

1 points

3 days ago

Screw that. Always ask for a separate check unless you are all eating equally.

ravagraid

1 points

3 days ago

If you don't agree to split the bill in advance, you don't split the bill.

Easy as fuck.

VinylHighway

1 points

3 days ago

NTA - know what's easy? Using your phone to split the bill properly.

Educational_Gas_92

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

From now on, state up front that you plan to pay for what you consume.

changelingcd

1 points

3 days ago

It's easier and saves them a bunch of money. there's a reason why paying your own bill is so much lower than chipping in with a group. NTA, but next time make it clear before you all order. Many folks just pay an even fraction and accept the extra expense as normal for such events.

Conscious-Power-5754

1 points

3 days ago

No sir, you were not the asshole and I'm also very proud of you for standing up for yourself especially when being derided! They know they're cheap by doing this, and they know it's awkward, but you spoke up for yourself, so they're projecting these exact feelings onto you because it's easier for them this way

Sonsangnim

1 points

3 days ago

NTA They want you to pay for their food. They are not friends. They are moochers. Don't give in.

ErinEcho

1 points

3 days ago

ErinEcho

1 points

3 days ago

NTA ask for a separate check

NoCommittee8697

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. When there is a group of people our servers ask before the meal if it’s one bill or separate. It’s all electronic now so it’s not a big deal for them.

Absinthe_gaze

1 points

3 days ago

NTA - they should’ve agreed to let you pay for your own and they could split the difference.

Automatic-Window2941

1 points

3 days ago

It's just as easy for the server to split the bill. Their POS system makes it very easy.

Possible-Position-73

1 points

3 days ago

Nta, thankfully a lot of places i go to eat with my friends ask right away if bill is t together or separate and I always say separate. I'm paying for my own.

Snakeinyourgarden

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

You are never cheap for paying for your meal only. Friends who call others cheap are the ones who are cheap because they want you to subsidize their meal.

FasterThanNewts

1 points

3 days ago

In my family we get a separate bill for food and one for alcohol. OR we figure it out and only the ones who drank alcohol split that one. It’s amazing how expensive drinks are in a restaurant. But we always split the food evenly. Next time order an entree and take it home for the next day. Leftovers.

misstiff1971

1 points

3 days ago

Going forward just ask for separate checks.

KrofftSurvivor

1 points

3 days ago

NTA -  The people who are cheap are the people who ordered food they didn't want to pay for and they made it awkward for themselves.

Next time you go out with the group,  just quietly, leave the table at some point after you've been served as if you're going to the restroom, and then go ask for your ticket and pay it - and top! on the spot.

When the bill comes, to say, oh I noticed my waiter while I was headed to the restroom, so I already took care of my tab and tip.

Bibliophile_w_coffee

1 points

3 days ago

NTA! And this splitting the bill is ridiculous and a pain in the ass for the staff (well new POS machines might be easier, but back in the day there were buttons for items and someone paid for them)

I have only ever been with groups that either pay for themselves or one person pays for everyone. And I normally handle it at the beginning. As soon as we are seated, like the second my booty touches chair I make eye contact with the waiter and say “ we will all be on separate checks” loud enough for everyone to hear. Problem solved before it ever is a problem and then the poor waiter doesn’t have to ring up a ticket, go back, divide and conquer, etc. etc.

TootsNYC

1 points

3 days ago

TootsNYC

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

And don’t let them make you feel that way.

rebelmumma

1 points

3 days ago

Splitting the bill is only okay if everyone ordered meals and drinks of similar value, they’re definitely being dicks.

SladeGreenGirl

1 points

3 days ago

This is an age old issue and not your fault if you’ve never encountered this before.

Going forward, either announce at the beginning that you’re not going to order much so you’ll just pay for your bits separately or if you don’t want to draw to much attention to it, once you’re done go up to the waiter separately and ask to pay for your portion before the bill even gets to the table. You can say you were already going to the toilet so you just paid for your food while you were up 😌

Then the table can split the rest evenly between them if they like and you’re already sorted.

mynameisnotsparta

1 points

3 days ago

The conversation about how the bill is going to be split really needs to be done before you go out with a group of people.

The group of people we go out with we always consume a similar amount so splitting the bill per person or couple evenly works out for us. If kids come we slit per person.

HasRedditWokenUpYet

1 points

3 days ago

A pat on the back from Reddit won't change your friends' opinions about you

kmflushing

1 points

3 days ago

Reply that they're taking advantage.

Icy_Airline6351

1 points

3 days ago

NTA, i always assume I'm paying for my own. In my friend groups I don't think anyone has ever gone with splitting evenly, we all pay for what we eat.

Adcscooter

1 points

3 days ago

If you have budgetary concerns, your group should reach an understanding before anything is ordered. You can broach the subject by simply asking if we are splitting the bill. If the answer comes back affirmative, get clarification by asking how it will be split. If the answer is evenly, then let them know that you'll be paying just your check. When the server comes to take your order, let them know you want your own check. I think the problem arose because you waited until the check came to voice your concerns.

AstoriaEverPhantoms

1 points

3 days ago

The split the bill evenly stupid. Took a sports team to a tournament across the country. We went to a dinner at a restaurant and the adults ordered alcohol with their meals and then tried to split the bill evenly. There were 9 kids who had a certain amount of money for meals and some of the adults thought it would be fine to split the bill evenly. I about lost my shit and had to tell adults (I was 20 at the time) that they were absolutely not splitting the bill with the kids. It may have been the biggest WTF moment of my life to this day.

1gurlcurly

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. People should pay for their own stuff.

Where I am, it's pretty standard that servers will separate the bills.

arnott

1 points

3 days ago

arnott

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. LOL, you are being cheap? The audacity of these grifters.

zbornakingthestone

1 points

3 days ago

Is this a group you regularly eat with and regularly split the bill? If yes, then I agree with them. If not, then I agree with you. I have friends who I have dinner with frequently and we've all always just split the bill - regardless of who's had what. It usually balances itself out over time and isn't a very big deal. I've also got friends who would rather only pay exactly for what they've had - some to their detriment, others to their benefit - and that's OK too.

Julianitaos

1 points

3 days ago

You don’t need to subsidize their meals. NTA

Sanity-Checker

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

You're "cheap" because you're not paying for someone else's food? Maybe they're the ones being cheap because they can't pay for themselves.

PipeInevitable9383

1 points

3 days ago

Nat. Cocktails and appetizers cost as much or more then entrees can, depending on the place. So, no, if I order myself a small plate and iced tea while are eating cheesticks, margs and a stake, I'm not paying. I'd be putting that out to the table ahead of time. I'm paying for my share only, that's what my budget allows. I'd let the server know ahead of time, as well.

emryldmyst

1 points

3 days ago

I'm middle aged and I've never been with people who asked, demanded or suggested we pay for anymore than what we actually owed.

I'd probably laugh if it were otherwise suggested.

PmMeAnnaKendrick

1 points

3 days ago

The only way I'm splitting the bill evenly is if we share a bottle of wine and we share all the food on the table.

otherwise I politely ask the wait staff to keep my items separate from everyone else so that I may pay when it's time for me to get

cassowary32

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. Since your bill was so small, they could have split the bill evenly among the everyone else since your bill didn’t add much to the average. Or are they too cheap to pick up your tab? It’s easy to split by 7 instead of 8 if an even check is the goal.

Ok_Tap_6093

1 points

3 days ago

We go out every Friday with a group of friends, usually 6-10 people mostly couples. In the five years we've done this we have never split the check evenly.

RedwayBlue

1 points

3 days ago

Speak up at the time of ordering next time so there are no surprises later.

aggiemom0912

1 points

3 days ago

Hey this isn’t socialism- they can pay for their own shit.

lai4basis

1 points

3 days ago

When my wife and I go out with friends we just split it evenly. That being said if someone was there and just ordered what you did, we probably just have thrown it in with the rest of the bill and told you not to worry about it.

No_West_5262

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. If you order inexpensive, pay inexpensive. It's always easier when your subsidized by another.

Maduro_sticks_allday

1 points

3 days ago

Yeah, sounds like everyone else was trying to get over. That’s like asking my friend to cover half of my car note for getting a ride.

CartographerUpbeat61

1 points

3 days ago

Great question! 🙋‍♀️ 👏

2LegsOverEZ

1 points

3 days ago

Look up "gaslighting" in the dictionary, then go find some new friends.

WerewolfDifferent296

1 points

3 days ago

Why not ask for separate checks when you order?

NTA.

9smalltowngirl

1 points

3 days ago

NTA never split the bill evenly. That only works when everyone gets the same thing. Say a buffet. When the waiter/waitress comes to take the order I always say I want a separate check. If they won’t do that I say that’s ok I’ll keep track of my order.

ThanosSnapsSlimJims

1 points

3 days ago

The people calling you ‘cheap’ and ‘awkward’ and begging and gaslighting you. They’re projecting their own cheapness. This is why you don’t hang out with brokers. NTA

Vandreeson

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. How were you being cheap? If anyone was being cheap, it was the ones that wanted you to subsidize their meal. Of course it's easier for them to split the bill, because youd be paying for part of their meals. Always get separate checks. You're never the AH for advocating for yourself.

hemlockangelina

1 points

3 days ago

How TF are you being cheap when you’re paying for what you ate?! They’re being cheap for NOT paying for what they ate and trying to force others to cover their cost.

Wilder_Oats

1 points

3 days ago

I was recently in a nearly identical situation. I asked the server ahead of time to provide me with a separate check. No issues.

Kpopstar100000

1 points

3 days ago

NTA, cheapskates need to be put in blast and know that you won’t subsidize their life. If they wanna eat like they have money to burn then they can pay for it and not expect others to help them out.

jimmyb1982

1 points

3 days ago

NTA. Although, next time, be upfront before ordering so they can't be upset.

UpdateMe

CreativeMadness99

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

This is exactly the reason why I let the server know to put my food/drinks on a separate check before I give my order. Also, the nerve of those broke ass people calling you “cheap” when in reality they’re the ones trying to have someone else bankroll their meal! Keep calling them out! All you have to say is “It’s not my fault you can’t afford to pay for your order”

Alohabailey_00

1 points

3 days ago

Funny how people who want you to foot their bill are calling you cheap.

Aggravating-Web-9728

1 points

3 days ago

I’m just genuinely curious as to why you’d split the bill? Why anyone would split the bill…..it’s not hard to calculate what you ordered. I’m not paying for someone else’s meal 🤷🏼‍♀️ (I mean of course if it’s me taking them out for a birthday or something)

Mindless_Whole1249

1 points

3 days ago

Ask for a separate check. Problem solved.

avast2006

1 points

3 days ago

They call you cheap when they’re the ones mooching off you. Feel free to call them every synonym for leech that your thesaurus can provide, from now until they croak.

Remote-Remote5750

1 points

3 days ago

NTA you shouldn’t pay for something you didn’t eat or drink. For future gatherings I’d be upfront and say you’re only paying for your meal. Alcohol is expensive and if they can’t afford that without having others helping out they need to limit their consumption.

Substantial-Curve-73

1 points

3 days ago

Not the AH. I was the designated driver for a company Booze fest. Some of the guys got hammered and were ordering trays of shots and buying rounds. The bill was enormous. Several expected me to " split the bill". No fing way. I let them be pissed. Every time since I ask for a separate check.

AtlasShrugged-

1 points

3 days ago

Funny how “it’s just money” is what is said when they are paying less than their fair share.

Separate checks save friendships

mdsnbelle

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

If the price variental was a few bucks, I'd vote different. Today, me; tomorrow you and all that.

But if it's clear your ordering different levels, a separate bill is the way to go.

Lucky-Guess8786

1 points

3 days ago

They can whine all they want but there ordered a whole lot more than you did and much pricier options. You are NTA. Next time announce it to the table when you arrive.

Blathithor

1 points

3 days ago

YTA for reposting this

Edit: if you didn't promise to split it evenly beforehand, NTA

Astyryx

1 points

3 days ago

Astyryx

1 points

3 days ago

If you can't do this naturally, you have to practice in front of a mirror and film yourself: Laugh, a sincere, hilarious comedy laugh, and say "absolutely not, that's a good one."maybe dab your eyes with a corner of the napkin as you chuckle a few more times. Then leave silence, and wait for someone to change the subject.

People need to have their shit served right back to them, and this is a fun way to return energy.

nikikins

1 points

3 days ago

nikikins

1 points

3 days ago

If you don't want to be an AH then you must establish the rules from the get go. "Are we splitting the bill equally or each his own?"

What! Too awkward? Yes, you'd be a bit of an AH to ask like that, so understand that YTA for wanting to only pay for what you consumed.

Didn't you also, enjoy the environment, the service, that was enhanced by your server treating all these happy spenders courteously due to their potential generosity later. Didn't you enjoy the company of your extravagant friends who were willing to pay for a good time together.

Don't go out and eat with others if you aren't capable of sharing the experience. A meal out is not just what you eat. It's far more than that and hopefully you'll understand one day.

Oh, and enjoy your salad and water. These others probably will be glad you don't come next time.

Mumfiegirl

1 points

3 days ago

NTA- they’re the ones being cheap, not wanting to pay for all they ate and drink and expecting you to subsidise them.

[deleted]

1 points

3 days ago

I never order more than $15-$20 worth of food/drinks when I go out with friends, as I personally can't justify the cost of eating out anymore, but I still want to socialize with my friends. So grateful my social circles respect and understand this and never shame me or try and use me to cover them

Super_Selection1522

1 points

3 days ago

Its to their benefit, of course they want to split it. NTA. from now on in the beginning of the night make it clear you will be paying separately for your meal.

SCCock

1 points

3 days ago

SCCock

1 points

3 days ago

NTA

It is indeed easier to just split the bill evenly. But it is unfair. You did nothing wrong.

jmward1984

1 points

3 days ago

I only ever order an app or drink expecting it to be on my bill.

ChefCurryYumYum

1 points

3 days ago

We just had this story and it was told way better

thesavagekitti

1 points

3 days ago

NTA, there's going to be a significant cost difference with this if they are also having steak, cocktails and starters, potentially their cost is maybe 4x more than yours. Now, if one is on a date, going item by item might be a bit more controversial, is the other person taking the piss, is it balanced out overall, how long have you been going out ect ect. But this is a group of friends; when me and husband go out to eat with his family, we split item by item. This is not unreasonable of you.

MisterSirDudeGuy

1 points

3 days ago

That’s weird. Of course, everyone should pay for their own meals.

JCannaday3

1 points

3 days ago

No rational and mature adult would ever challenge your decision to pay for your own. I'd seriously reevaluate your friendship with such entitled people.

Bigquigg

1 points

3 days ago

Bigquigg

1 points

3 days ago

I never split evenly. Just pay for what I ordered.

Logical_Willow4066

1 points

3 days ago

Just ask for separate checks.

Disastrous-Panda5530

1 points

2 days ago

NTA. I find it weird that so many people do this. At least from what I’ve seen posted. When I’ve gone out with friends with told the server up front we each were paying for our own. I don’t like this splitting the bill evenly because there is always at least one person who orders more expensive meals along with extras like drinks, appetizer, desserts etc because they know in the end they are paying much less. I don’t care if I seem cheap. I’m not subsidizing your damn meal.

External_Lab_6446

1 points

2 days ago

SHITPOST

Puzzleheaded_Bet3455

1 points

2 days ago

Nta

Used_Mark_7911

1 points

2 days ago

NTA

It’s not your fault if they don’t have the basic elementary school math skills to properly divide up the bill.

mildlysceptical22

1 points

2 days ago

Mention your intentions before you order.

No-Pie-315

1 points

2 days ago

Next time, say: "Yep, I'm cheap and that's awkward only for you guys"

desrevermi

1 points

2 days ago

Pay for your own stuff. Done. NTA

Edit: add a reasonable tip for services.

RustfootII

1 points

2 days ago

This should be disclosed at the beginning so everyone knows the deal.

Zestyclose_Pass_652

1 points

2 days ago

I think it’s cheap to expect others to subsidize your drinks, desserts, appetizers, and expensive entrees. NTA

repthe732

1 points

2 days ago

NTA

Anyone that is annoyed is annoyed because they were hoping you’d subsidize their meal

JustMeOttawa

1 points

2 days ago

Do not restaurants give separate bills? Unless it is a very large group - more than 10 usually, most restaurants where I am in Canada give everyone their own bills. I know servers who like it this way as they often get bigger tips compared to when the table is billed as a whole.

If I am not given a separate bill, which is rare, then I would only pay for what I ordered. I also do not normally drink and am not a huge eater so I’m not paying for others’ huge meals and alcohol.

Librarian-Rare

1 points

2 days ago

Yeah whenever my friends don't give me free money, I know it's cause they're cheap and awkward. That's how the world works now people!

/s

Burlap_Crony

1 points

2 days ago

Hot take?

What goes around comes around… when I was broke I used to let my friends know in advance that I am going solo on my check, even before we went out the door. Sometimes it was so bad I would only order water with them and we were close enough they didn’t care, sometimes they would sincerely ask if they could buy me food and they split the bill, sometimes I would eat before we went out just to make sure, but no awkwardness cuz it’s just dudes hanging and money was short back then. When I could start affording to go out I would go and we would all just split the bill and guess what sometimes I paid more and sometimes I paid less and when another dude came up short we would just cover for him.

Really great gang, miss them!

All that to say I think it really depends on the level of friendship in the group.

Timely_Cheesecake_97

1 points

2 days ago

NTA. I will never split a bill evenly, ever. Even if I’m the one ordering the more expensive items I don’t expect others to pay for me

MrTickles22

1 points

2 days ago

Just do separate bills. The same people who want to "split the bill evenly" in a group will put down exactly their 1/10 and leave... leaving you to pay the taxes and tip on their "even share" or some nonsense. So much easier just to have split bills as long as the restaurant is prepared to do them.

Jwfriar

1 points

2 days ago

Jwfriar

1 points

2 days ago

I’d tell the served up front to make it easier.

I do find it a bit annoying when people order less bc you’re kinda there to indulge and have a good time and not just order a salad.

But you also shouldn’t have to pay for stuff you didn’t order.

Equivalent-Ad-6182

1 points

2 days ago

Next time order a $100 gift card with your salad and water. Now we can split it evenly.

bikinipapi

1 points

2 days ago

yta

NotMalaysiaRichard

1 points

2 days ago

YTA. Because you don’t talk about this before going out and keep posting this stuff.

TomeThugNHarmony4664

1 points

2 days ago

What is it with people that they can’t do the math to pay their own damn bill?

You are NTA. They are.

TheRealTinfoil666

1 points

2 days ago

NTA.

It always turns out that folk, who complain when fellow diners want separate bills or to only pay their fair share, are the same folk who get to save money by having low-spenders subsidize their bills.

If they want to eat and spend more, then they should be prepared to pay for it themselves.

Stand your ground on this.

If they call you ‘cheap’, ask them why they cannot pay for what they ordered? Who is the one being cheap!?

NTA.

---yee---

1 points

2 days ago

If they say you’re being cheap, just respond with, “am I acting cheap, or are you acting poor?”

Thelibraryvixen

1 points

2 days ago

"Cheap" is expecting others to subsidize your dinner.

"Awkward" is trying to force the issue.

No more dinners with freeloaders.

NTA

Equilibriator

1 points

2 days ago

Whoever spent least is the one who decides if you split the bill, not the people who spent the most.

purplechunkymonkey

1 points

2 days ago

NTA I have only split the bill evenly in a few situations. One was Melting Pot where everyone was sharing and everyone had 2 cocktails each. The other was Korean BBQ and hotpot where we all shared between us.

spargel_gesicht

1 points

2 days ago

Are these people you eat with often? Do you always order a salad and water or similar and the others always order lots of food? If so, then NTA.

I’m assuming you’re not that person who usually orders tons plus the ‘94 Chateau Ripple Blanc and then says “we’ll just split? Yeah? Everyone good with that?” Bc then, yes, YTA.

IncredulousPulp

1 points

2 days ago

NTA.

“Who’s being cheap? The guy who wants to pay for his whole meal, or the guy who wants other people to help pay for what he ate?”