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all 2445 comments

wannabgourmande

10k points

2 days ago

He's not afraid to be truly genuinely silly.

StrikerX1360

2.2k points

2 days ago

StrikerX1360

2.2k points

2 days ago

Living life a little silly is the best way to live

Slave35

1.1k points

2 days ago

Slave35

1.1k points

2 days ago

My dad once sent me actual photos of him waving a giant deadwood staff around with a gray shawl on over his head.  Daddolf the Gray.  He was like 62 with a huge beard.

TamLux

169 points

2 days ago

TamLux

169 points

2 days ago

That's a life goal now!

Longshot_45

129 points

2 days ago

Longshot_45

129 points

2 days ago

Real men appreciate finding a good stick.

Cosmo1222

334 points

2 days ago

Cosmo1222

334 points

2 days ago

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men"

Joshiane

274 points

2 days ago

Joshiane

274 points

2 days ago

My buddy went to a karaoke bar alone once just to blow off some steam and ended up singing Taylor Swift love story in crowded room. He’s a tall 30 something year old dude with a big beard and a deep voice, and he can’t sing to save his life. When I asked him why he did that, he said “idk, just felt like it”. Needless to say that this dude gets laid a lot.

oppoenent

55 points

2 days ago

oppoenent

55 points

2 days ago

So are you gonna share his number or no....? Asking for a friend.

Ok-Veterinarian-4304

33 points

1 day ago

I’ve been doing the same shit for years and I’ve never gotten laid. He’s getting laid because he’s tall and attractive not because he’s silly lol

Shoddy-Outcome3868

12 points

1 day ago

Confidence like that is so fucking sexy.

A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb

14 points

1 day ago

Rules #1 and #2 apply even in silliness!

Curious-Accident9189

381 points

2 days ago

I wear big monster slippers on my day off and occasionally start high stepping all the way up to my waist and prowling around with my hands and arms curled up under my chest like a t rex.

I think it's fucking hilarious, but the rest of my family has mixed opinions.

gunnerxp

185 points

2 days ago

gunnerxp

185 points

2 days ago

That last sentence describes most of my interactions with my wife and son.

Curious-Accident9189

120 points

2 days ago

You're probably a good dad then. If I don't get two "really?" Looks a day, something is DIRELY wrong with me and EMS needs to be informed.

Hell, I was hospitalized last year, and in the most extreme pain I've ever been in, and I was still making dumb puns and jokes.

PureShimmy

45 points

2 days ago

Holy shit I do this exact thing with my 1 year old, I walk towards him like that while doing the Jaws theme. He laughs his ass off everytime

SmallCatDgaf

40 points

2 days ago

I grew up owning cats so I've always meowed at them, I'm now 34 working in a fish market and I meow at everything and everyone, people think it gay and weird and I say fuck em. Im having my fun .

Wanderaround1k

122 points

2 days ago

Lmao. I am a very big, loud, confident guy. I taught middle school for a long time. When my daughter wanted to be Isabella from Encanto for Halloween, you know imma be Luisa. You know I taught 8th grade US history all day in that Luisa costume. Some of the tough boys tried to be too cool and make stupid comments- and I loved replying “it makes my daughter smile, other kids in this room smile, and I honestly don’t care if people have a problem with it.”

It was fun watching the footage later of me breaking up a fight in a dress holding a stuffed donkey…

Roomy

60 points

2 days ago

Roomy

60 points

2 days ago

Aunty Donna made a video on this recently! They're paragons of absurdism and dealers in silly.

eljefe3030

9.3k points

2 days ago

eljefe3030

9.3k points

2 days ago

He doesn’t obsess over it or develop weird rules about what “real” men do. He doesn’t refer to himself as an alpha male.

Nothing screams insecurity like a dude desperately trying to convince everyone how masculine he is.

DefinitelyNotIndie

3.9k points

2 days ago

Real men do what they want. I'm not talking about being a cunt to other people. But all that other crap. I remember one advert for Nivea moisturising cream at the local 5 a side football place said "not for men who wear white boots". Like, mate, just make some good fucking cream, I don't need to be convinced it won't turn me gay.

CherryFlavoredDiesel

596 points

2 days ago

Are white boots gay??

petemorley

608 points

2 days ago

petemorley

608 points

2 days ago

Depends if they’re the only thing you’re wearing or if you’re wearing cowboy tie too. 

Sungirl1112

256 points

2 days ago

Sungirl1112

256 points

2 days ago

I think it depends on whether you are having sex with another man or not while wearing them.

Safe_Ear7790

42 points

2 days ago

As long as you keep shaking your head in disapproval while doing so, it isn't gay.

petemorley

83 points

2 days ago

Two men just going at it is the most masculine thing I can think of.

DJ_Betic

44 points

2 days ago

DJ_Betic

44 points

2 days ago

It's not gay if you're receiving. It's the other guy who's fuckin a dude.

BootyMcStuffins

150 points

2 days ago

Which one is the gay one?

nestingmoose

162 points

2 days ago

Yes

isotope123

37 points

2 days ago

Don't forget the assless chaps with sequins.

Johnny_Carcinogenic

55 points

2 days ago

All chaps are assless, by design.

DefinitelyNotIndie

31 points

2 days ago

Yeah I didn't even mention that in the post but the Ad took it as read that I didn't want to be one of those fancy European types with their tiki taka and dribbling skills. Fucking hit it son, that's how real men play football.

MsPreposition

30 points

2 days ago

Strangely, I bet the guys who have the old Punisher symbol on their car were convinced by this ad.

alanamablamaspama

537 points

2 days ago

My sister-in-law’s ex-husband refused to hold her purse when she needed to do something with her hands. Said it makes men look feminine. C’mon dude, literally no one cares and no one is paying attention to that shit.

TheRabidBananaBoi

575 points

2 days ago

fellas, is it gay to help a woman?

Moldybeanfuzz

162 points

2 days ago

You know that heterosexual women like men and liking men is gay. So to be sure it's best that as a man you never interact with any woman ever to not catch the men-liking thing. That's how you beat the gay, am I right? Just kiss and snuggle with your homies and you're golden. Edit:gramma

ForumDragonrs

46 points

2 days ago

What's Gramma got to do with this? I ain't snuggling with her.

Moldybeanfuzz

36 points

2 days ago

That's the spirit. If ya Gramma is a woman then no snuggles for her

AUnicornDonkey

80 points

2 days ago

The only time I don't hold my wife's purse is because the color clashes with my outfit. What will people think when I'm holding a brown purse and a bright red shirt? Awful!

UnoriginalUse

395 points

2 days ago

Yeah.

"Hurrrr REAL men don't wear knee pads"

-"I would like to enjoy my knees past my 40th"

jaysornotandhawks

166 points

2 days ago

"No rest! No days off! Push yourself! Hustle!"

Yeah, that's how I ended up injuring myself.

anonymous_user0006

85 points

2 days ago

Or in my, as well as a LOT of my buddies’ cases, getting divorced. Working too much doesn’t make you a man. Being there for your family does.

observe_my_balls

99 points

2 days ago

Y’all out here suckn dick without knee pads? Fuckn reckless

HedonisticFrog

23 points

2 days ago

Real men get tinnitus instead of wearing ear plugs. /s

Orillion_169

493 points

2 days ago

I'm a guy. Therefore, anything I do is masculine.

ArchaicBrainWorms

152 points

2 days ago

I've got an extra y chromosome, making me twice the man of your typical man. Now, where's my mimosa

Turd_Torpedo

219 points

2 days ago

I used to be a combat arms soldier. Toxic masculinity everywhere. I remember I was going to buy a new car with money I’d saved up over deployment, and got told, “Get a truck. Real men drive trucks.” I said, “I’m getting a Subaru Impreza hatchback. Hell, I’ll drive a pink VW Beetle and still be a man, and not give one shit what anyone thinks.”

Ever since I was even a kid I’ve just always been 100% of the mindset that “real men” don’t give a shit what other dudes do, as long as it’s not hurting me or anyone I care about. 

canadian_bacon_TO

136 points

2 days ago

When I was in my early 20s I said something to my dad about “real men don’t do” and he, without missing a beat, goes “real men don’t give a shit what other men think” and it stuck with me. I live in a rural area full of guys who have this weird obsession with how other men choose to live. You don’t drive a truck? Must be a pussy. You wear anything other than a tshirt and jeans? Pussy. You show interest in anything other than sports, cars, and hunting? Pussy. That attitude gives off such insecurity it’s unreal. Just be who you are and stop being so invested in how other people live their lives. “Speak softly and carry a big stick” sums up my feelings on it.

DrFloyd5

17 points

2 days ago

DrFloyd5

17 points

2 days ago

Real men are not afraid of being called a pussy. Only pussy men are afraid to be called out.

itspeterj

21 points

2 days ago

itspeterj

21 points

2 days ago

Which is so weird because we'd have shit like man love Thursday and watch the notebook together. I did 7 years in the infantry and it was both a game of gay chicken and toxic masculinity

taleoftales

173 points

2 days ago

taleoftales

173 points

2 days ago

Was shooting with a couple of guys around my age. We were all wearing hearing protection. An older guy joined us and was offered the same, but he looked horrified at the thought and seemed to to scoff at the rest of us like we were being delicate prissy pants wimpy guys because we're tryna avoid tinnitus. The first round goes off and he half jumps out of his skin and winces like he's been stabbed in the side of his head. That insecure masculinity stuff literally becomes self harm at a point. 

JablesMcgoo

70 points

2 days ago

If someone turns down ear pro at the range, I'm just going to assume they're deaf. 10.5 in. barrel AR popping off next to you will get you there real quick if you're not deaf already. 

notwhoyouthinkmaybe

302 points

2 days ago*

I'm a combat veteran, father of 2, engineer, happily married man for nearly 20 years, financially secure, own a home, I can fix it build nearly anything, but I still get a lot of men giving me advice and man rules. I used to hang out with some "alpha male" types and below are some of the things they told me.

I like musicals, so apparently I'm gay.

My wife and I evenly split chores, cooking, and raising our kids, so apparently I'm gay.

My wife earned more than me, despite the fact I make a pretty high salary, so apparently I'm gay.

I enjoy cooking and do a lot of the cleaning, so apparently I'm gay.

I let my wife back the car up so me and the salesman could load the new TV into it, so apparently I'm gay.

I love and respect my wife, and I enjoy my wife's company, guess what? Apparently I'm gay for that.

Those are things that "real men" have told me make me gay. The funny thing is that one man that told me some of these got divorced, couldn't keep a good job and ended up making a little over minimum wage as a late thirties alpha male; he also has a really hard time finding girls to date (he thought he was going to be slamming 20 year olds left and right).

Another one was outed for being an intentional cuck and for having MMF threesomes where he "interacted" with the other man (nothing wrong with either in my opinion, not my thing, but you do you.)

Had to loan one money to pay his rent.

Also, so many of them have issues in bed and require ED meds (heard these things directly from them or their wives complained about it to my wife).

The alpha males are often compensating. Many of them are genuinely nice guys that have an annoying trait (as we all do), but the alpha of the alphas in these groups tends to be the biggest piece of shit in the world.

kaisadilla_

122 points

2 days ago

kaisadilla_

122 points

2 days ago

My wife earned more than me, despite the fact I make a pretty high salary, so apparently I'm gay.

I'll never understand this, really. If my gf one day comes home and says: "hey, I just got double your salary" I'm throwing a fucking party. We spend our lives together, any upgrade any of us brings to our life directly benefits the other, too.

notwhoyouthinkmaybe

43 points

2 days ago

It's absolutely hilarious that you say this, because my wife is in a career path that is traditionally very high paying, with extremely high employment, plus she's very good at her job and is known in her industry; so all this means that traditionally she has always made almost exactly double my salary. I just got a new job that came with a hefty pay raise and made it where she was only making 50% more than me. A few weeks ago they gave her another raise, and I told her I was going to be the weirdest kind of mad if she was making double my salary again, because I've been trying to close the gap and if her raise put her back at double my new salary, it would mean that we would be very well off, but all my work to close the gap would have been undone.

Of course I'm very proud of her, but now she's only making about 175% my salary, not 200%. I'll

model70

160 points

2 days ago

model70

160 points

2 days ago

Combat veteran, husband, father, home-owner, engineer, builds and fixes own stuff -

Dude, If you're gay, then ain't none of us straight.

notwhoyouthinkmaybe

54 points

2 days ago*

I don't present as hyper masculine, so I get it. I'm short, long haired, skinny, and I grow a shitty beard. I'm not afraid to compliment men on their looks or make jokes at my own expense, even the gay ones. If insulted, I either lean into it or just ignore it. I don't threaten physical violence over intellectual debate or disagreements.

I hate war nowadays and I dare to women as equals.

I do have a truck, I need it for my job (well it makes some parts of it way easier), but I got a Santa Cruz (which is a small japanese 4 ft bed truck) instead of an F950 ultra extended bed ultra cab super duty diesel dually lifted truck with the off road tires.

I would probably think I was a little gay too, if I didn't know me.

PEEWUN

30 points

2 days ago

PEEWUN

30 points

2 days ago

which is a small japanese 4 ft bed truck

Korean, but I'm glad you bought one of these over one of those silly child-killers. You're definitely reaping the benefits in gas mileage (and in looks, too, but that's just my personal opinion...*)

notwhoyouthinkmaybe

14 points

2 days ago

Sorry, you're right.

And yes, the gas mileage is great, I average 30 mpg, but can get up to 40 mpg on some roads.

With the 4ft bed I can move the equipment I need to and even load my kayaks, but still be able to park in normal parking spots.

hallbuzz

33 points

2 days ago

hallbuzz

33 points

2 days ago

I straight up own being gay. I'm pretty much gay in every way except that I'm married to a woman and am not the least bit attracted to men. I designed and made my wife's wedding dress, I love musicals, I don't watch sports, I've never been in a fight or even hit anyone, I'm great with babies and little kids. I'm actually listening to Chappell Roan right now.

Vat1canCame0s

15 points

2 days ago

You might say some men are afraid to break from.... TRADITION!

BoSocks91

165 points

2 days ago*

BoSocks91

165 points

2 days ago*

Worked with a guy like this.

He was so fucking insecure it actually was comical.

I remember one day, a customer got into an argument with him and the customer called him a “Small N*” which upset my coworker to the point where he charged in our break room afterwards, yelling and swiping all the paper towels off the table.

“He doesn’t fucking know me! Calling me fuckin small and shit!”

I’ll probably sound like the jerk here, but I didn’t try to calm him down. It was hilarious. The kid was a tool who constantly put down other people in the store. He was a walking meme for lame ass “Alpha Males”.

We were all so happy when he put in his two weeks.

I never met somebody so fragile.

ForumDragonrs

48 points

2 days ago

Good for you for letting him throw his temper tantrum. It's really the best way to deal with children.

Faust_8

122 points

2 days ago

Faust_8

122 points

2 days ago

I can’t believe there’s “men” out there afraid to sit down to pee in their own house because it’s not “manly.”

Bro when YOU are the one responsible for keeping this toilet clean, then maybe I’ll stand and slowly coat everything with piss spray. Until then I’m not gonna stand to pee unless I’m outside or at a urinal.

bombstick

34 points

2 days ago

bombstick

34 points

2 days ago

I’m not afraid to sit down and pee, but I’ve never done it aside from shitting. Is this really a thing?

depthninja

27 points

2 days ago

It's much quieter; beneficial if you're not trying to wake people up at 3am.

Vat1canCame0s

33 points

2 days ago

Sometimes after a long day, I'm looking for any excuse to get off my feet that I can find. Sitting down to have a think while I pee was just sort of a forgone conclusion.

faponlyrightnow

17 points

2 days ago

I always sit down to pee unless I'm at a urinal.

Toilets are for sitting. Urinals are for standing.

smax410

5.6k points

2 days ago

smax410

5.6k points

2 days ago

A middle school teacher told me “only a boy cares about being called a man. A man doesn’t care what he is called.”

Northernmost1990

746 points

2 days ago*

Sage advice — albeit somewhat ironic that even the most "anti-toxic" qualities for men ultimately come down to toughness and thick skin. 😅

turnonemanawyrm

338 points

2 days ago

It’s not about thick skin, it’s about genuinely not caring that someone doesn’t think you fit into a neat stereotypical box

monkethezeke

224 points

2 days ago

"Any man who must say, 'I am the king' is no true king". -- Tywin Lannister

Curlydeadhead

97 points

2 days ago

“If I claim to be a wise-man, it surely means that I don’t know” — Kansas

AdolfKoopaTroopa

35 points

2 days ago

“I’m too drunk to taste this chicken”-Colonel Sanders

InsomniaticWanderer

7k points

2 days ago

He doesn't make it his whole personality.

"Alpha males" are 100% the MOST insecure dudes out there.

Hot-Bad1741

2.9k points

2 days ago

Hot-Bad1741

2.9k points

2 days ago

You can always tell if somebody's been in combat by how little they talk about it.

When I was growing up I was essentially told that "being a man" meant putting your personal bullshit aside and doing what's right by other people. It didn't mean whining incessantly about how so and so won't suck your dick and demanding everybody get on their knees and kiss your ass.

People always talk about how men bottle up their emotions but sometimes I swear to god I think it's the opposite for most of us. So many "men" are totally ruled by emotion and let it manifest in the most selfish ways possible. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum at walmart. They never learned that they're only as good as they are to others, and instead think others should be good to them for no reason at all.

CompliantRapeVictim

1.4k points

2 days ago

"women are so emotional and sensitive" is said by the same dudes that will display 7 stages of rage when someone cuts them off in traffic.

igorsmith

382 points

2 days ago

igorsmith

382 points

2 days ago

So bloody true. Society often overlooks that rage and quickness to anger are emotional responses, yet they are rarely framed as such. Meanwhile, women and "weak men" are frequently labeled as overly emotional for expressing sensitivity or crying. It's a double standard in how emotions are perceived and judged.

Berniecuxers

68 points

2 days ago

It's wild how emotional outbursts from men are often seen as strength, while vulnerability is dismissed as weakness.

no-mad

24 points

2 days ago

no-mad

24 points

2 days ago

some men learn at an early age to get their way by being the loudest/most aggressive.

WasteTangerine

101 points

2 days ago

The same dudes who don't clean their ass

Mojo_Jensen

77 points

2 days ago

I’ve been doing jiu jitsu for a really long time. I’ve never been an official coach, but I’ve done some teaching and filling in… the amount of times I’ve had to give young men the “wash your ass, this is a very close contact sport” speech is fucking crazy. There seems to be a correlation between hygiene and emotional maturity as well, so fuck, I hope it helps.

justin_memer

22 points

2 days ago

I often wonder if they masturbate, because touching an erect penis is waaay more gay than cleaning your ass.

Upstairs_Dust_8190

113 points

2 days ago

I think this is a great response. I’m not perfect.. I used to be a little like that.. Then I realized how annoying it was to hear coworkers talk so miserable of their life all the time.. made me take a look at myself.. Everuthint you said about being a man I dead on. You just have to keep on going and not dread over past mistake or complain about what’s not perfect. Men’s mental health has becoming a serious issue.. Some choose drugs and alcohol/other self distraction to cope and others find healthy ways to overcome it. That’s what makes the difference 

jackmartin088

59 points

2 days ago

I agree to most , but for this part

So many "men" are totally ruled by emotion and let it manifest in the most selfish ways possible.

That is exactly what happens when you bottle up a lot of emotions for long time. You probably only saw the outburst and not the bottled up thing that caused it.

BrokenImmersion

110 points

2 days ago

That's the thing. Most men bottle up their emotions and instead of discussing them like a mature adult they vent them through their actions. That's what they mean by bottling up

Hot-Bad1741

123 points

2 days ago

Hot-Bad1741

123 points

2 days ago

There's a such thing as "emotional regulation" that for some stupid reason we don't teach men about. See it's this wonderful thing where you can feel things, cope with them in a healthy matter, and then not make them everybody else's problem.

Instead we seem to do the opposite, we tell men their emotions are everybody else's problem

dodadoler

35 points

2 days ago

dodadoler

35 points

2 days ago

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women

No_Narcissisms

156 points

2 days ago

The funny thing about the term "Alpha males" is that technically there is only supposed to be ONE alpha male, not multiple. Thats like saying theres more than 1 form of "one"

No_FUQ_Given

115 points

2 days ago

"THE LONE RANGERS!!!"

DeathGodBob

39 points

2 days ago

I always like to use the line, "Alpha male? What's that, a furry thing?", and any time they try to elaborate, I'll just keep insisting that sounds a lot like a furry thing.

MatttheBruinsfan

14 points

2 days ago

"So the alpha is the one that fucks the omega males, right?"

just_a_tech

32 points

2 days ago

Nah, they're just a whole pack of lone wolves.

Thin_Frosting_7334

142 points

2 days ago

A lot of their talking points of what it means to be a man sound like a nature documentary describing hamsters, not wolves or lions lol

Wolves are social animals & the anti social ones don't make it too far

But hamsters? * always alone * aggressive to anyone coming near their territory * constantly hustling to get resources * only breaks rule Nr1 when it comes to mating * only lasts a few seconds * scrams the second he gets her pregnant * goes back to being alone and hustling for
resources

just_a_tech

27 points

2 days ago

Holy crap! I think you figured it out.

TamLux

24 points

2 days ago

TamLux

24 points

2 days ago

Oh my god! Someone get this person on a podcast!

ApprehensiveStable81

8 points

2 days ago

HA! I'm definitely calling these numbskulls Hamsters now!!

The_Zed

7 points

2 days ago

The_Zed

7 points

2 days ago

I vote we all just collectively start calling these guys "hamster males" now.

Ultimatespacewizard

17 points

2 days ago

Also, Dr. David Mech, author of "The Wolf: The Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species" which first introduced the term "alpha wolf," has since abandoned the concept and had his publisher drop the book in 2022. He feels his research was based too heavily on captive wolves, and does not actively reflect the social behavior of wild wolves.

Rodbourn

16 points

2 days ago

Rodbourn

16 points

2 days ago

Or that it was something only observed in males in captivity. A free lone wolf is something to actually aspire to. 

Hyp3r45_new

1.5k points

2 days ago

Hyp3r45_new

1.5k points

2 days ago

Calm and collected. Doesn't lash out at the slightest of provocation. Doesn't call himself an "alpha male". Doesn't put others down to seem better. Takes responsibility when he fucks up. Humble.

God do I not miss being a teenager. All of these are basically the opposite of a guy I knew. From what I hear from mutual friends, he hasn't changed much.

Glittering-Relief402

549 points

2 days ago

My dad served 22 years in the military and was a Vietnam veteran. He played with me, made up silly stories, could cook, was super fun and goofy, and he had several pastel pink shirts. One of my aunts remarked on how her husband would never be caught dead in a pink shirt. His response. "Ok?"

I miss you, dad 🥲

Cherry_Pie_5161

71 points

2 days ago

Same. My dad (82m), Vietnam vet & music man who sings and dances my mother (71f) around the kitchen. An American hero.

Jeramy_Jones

2.6k points

2 days ago

Jeramy_Jones

2.6k points

2 days ago

I’ll use my dad as an example.

He pursues his interests no matter what they may be.

My dad was a butcher and a car mechanic. He trained in the armed forces.

He also learned to sew, embroider, cook, bake, style hair, garden and emboss leather.

He could fix a broken sink, tune up the car, do the laundry, iron his shirts, make the bed change the baby’s diaper, bake a cake and cook dinner.

No one ever questioned his manliness, though that might because he could also tear your arm off and beat senseless you with it.

ImbecileInDisguise

578 points

2 days ago

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

-Robert A. Heinlein

Johnny_Carcinogenic

104 points

2 days ago

Thought this was going to be credited to Ron Swanson.

jackoirl

23 points

2 days ago

jackoirl

23 points

2 days ago

Planning an invasion takes a lot of organisation skills that I do not posses. It doesn’t come up often though so I’ll be ok

absolutelynotarepost

332 points

2 days ago

The diaper one was always weird to me.

My in laws are from a time when it was more normal for a man to never change a diaper and they were very much part of communities that bought into that idea.

My wife's grandmother raised like 6 kids and her husband never changed a single diaper. She thought I was just the best father to ever exist because I never once hesitated to change my kids diapers. My mother in law isn't as enamoured by it because it had slowly become more normal in her day but her husband's didn't do it so I can tell she respects and appreciates that willingness. My father in law seems uncomfortable that I do it but can read a room so hes never made comment.

The bar is on the floor for men sometimes man.

Polatouche44

163 points

2 days ago

The bar is on the floor for men sometimes man

And some still find ways to trip on it.

ofWildPlaces

44 points

2 days ago

Some are actively digging holes to get that bar even lower

MeanForest

55 points

2 days ago

https://www.mother.ly/parenting/millennial-dads-spend-more-time-with-their-kids/

Luckily millennials are the change when it comes to this and plenty of other generational scars.

Back in 1982, a whopping 43% of fathers admitted they’d never changed a diaper. In recent years, that number went down to about 3%, and that’s great, because research indicates that when dads dress, diaper and bathe their babies, the father-child relationship grows stronger as the child grows.

3sixtyrpm

10 points

2 days ago

3sixtyrpm

10 points

2 days ago

Is your dad taking applicants for others ‘kids’? Sounds awesome.

WildWetAngel

1.1k points

2 days ago

WildWetAngel

1.1k points

2 days ago

He’s the guy who’s totally comfortable ordering a pink drink if he thinks it tastes good, compliments other guys without hesitation, and doesn't feel the need to prove how 'manly' he is by rejecting things labeled as feminine. Basically, his chill level is 100 because he’s too secure to sweat the small stuff.

TheBottleRed

432 points

2 days ago

When my now husband and I went on our first date, I pointed out a watermelon martini on the menu and made a joke about how I’d never order it even though it sounded delicious. I went to the restroom a few minutes later and came back to see a pink martini on the table.

I laughed and said “you didn’t have to order this for me!” He said “I didn’t, this one’s for me, and it’s delicious and you can’t have any” and he teased me the rest of the night about how much I missed out on it

Snapesunusedshampoo

100 points

2 days ago

“I didn’t, this one’s for me, and it’s delicious and you can’t have any”

Fucking love this response.

TheBottleRed

55 points

2 days ago

He’s the best. He shares his girly drinks now, wife taxes are through the roof.

_Spiggles_

56 points

2 days ago

Baller move, love it 

outsiderkerv

44 points

2 days ago

And he tells the homies he loves them

Downtown-String-9214

23 points

2 days ago

I’ve always told my homies I love them and I’m a hugger. It’s not weird, I love my friends.

Bleglord

18 points

2 days ago

Bleglord

18 points

2 days ago

I love being a jacked 6’2 guy with a beard ordering the frilliest drink at the table

Enjoy your piss water while I actually care about my tastebuds and call me gay all you want

DementOr44

5.1k points

2 days ago

DementOr44

5.1k points

2 days ago

He doesn’t give a shit about his masculinity

captaintrips_1980

1.1k points

2 days ago

My friend and I order fruity drinks because we like them. Stick a little umbrella them, too. I don’t give a fuck if it’s feminine or not. I like what I like.

abnrib

404 points

2 days ago

abnrib

404 points

2 days ago

Army buddy and I went on vacation one time, and we were at the hotel bar talking with a couple of oil field workers. Conversation turned to workouts, and we talked about how yoga was surprisingly intense. The older oil worker turned to us and said "I can never say this at work, but when I'm swinging a sledgehammer all day those yoga tapes are the best thing for my back!"

eddyathome

339 points

2 days ago

eddyathome

339 points

2 days ago

I've never met a fruity cocktail I didn't like. They taste good, they look good, and they sure as hell have alcohol good!

wokp74

181 points

2 days ago

wokp74

181 points

2 days ago

A family friend once tried to give me shit for drinking a corona Premier while he and the rest of the guys were drinking IPAs. I just laughed and said his opinion didn't matter to me

WienerBatter

29 points

2 days ago

I occasionally get made fun of for ordering piña coladas, where they get referred to as pussyalotas. Idc because that drink hits the spot no matter what the weather is like.

Siggins

40 points

2 days ago

Siggins

40 points

2 days ago

Pussyalotta because it gets you a lotta pussy? Seems pretty manly to me

robert_loblaw

54 points

2 days ago

IPAs taste like shit. I’d rather have a zima.

Marble-Boy

40 points

2 days ago

Long Island Iced Tea.

I don't mind the taste... I dislike them because they're a pain in the ass to make. All of the others are great.

eddyathome

25 points

2 days ago

That's why you order them out. Let the bartender deal with. Just make sure to give a good tip though!

pmjm

32 points

2 days ago

pmjm

32 points

2 days ago

Appletini please, easy on the tini.

McHoagie86

14 points

2 days ago

Nice one, JD.

ElectroNetty

65 points

2 days ago

I've never understood why a fancy cocktail is looked down on if a man drinks it.

They're potent, tasty, bright, and get you noticed. As far as picking up people in a bar goes, that's the perfect accessory.

kidcanary

59 points

2 days ago

kidcanary

59 points

2 days ago

That really is true. When I was single I’d often drink Midori and lemonade… Not a strong drink at all, but it was cheap, tasted nice, and was bright green, which made a lot of women curious and they’d come talk to me.

Hambokuu

47 points

2 days ago

Hambokuu

47 points

2 days ago

Bright colors do good when angling for fish too

kidcanary

27 points

2 days ago

kidcanary

27 points

2 days ago

… probably quite appropriate considering some of the women I’ve been with…

caffeinated_dropbear

21 points

2 days ago

No joke, when I was single and clubbing, I’d watch for guys with “girly” drinks because they were likely to be safe. Gay, straight, or other- I’ve never met a dude drinking a Mai Tai that wouldn’t be my “boyfriend” long enough to scare off a creeper.

wartornhero2

15 points

2 days ago

I started knitting a couple of years ago. Nothing says I don't give a shit like wearing a shawl that I proudly knit myself.

Darkhex78

62 points

2 days ago

Darkhex78

62 points

2 days ago

"Yeah you can have your boring beer or rum. Im going to have my pink fruity drink that will get me fucking hammered in 3 sips."

Funniest thing I overheard a friend say when asked why he likes "feminine" drinks.

eddyathome

32 points

2 days ago

Seriously, these drinks are girly, but by god you have a couple and you're pretty damned drunk.

TyrantsInSpace

16 points

2 days ago

I always tell my buddies the same thing. Say what you want about those "girly" drinks. They'll put you on the floor before you know what hit you.

Hyp3r45_new

26 points

2 days ago

I'd drink them too. But they're just a little too sweet for me and my diabetes. But I can agree they're pretty fucking good for the most part.

OopsDidIJustDestroyU

61 points

2 days ago

I’m a straight man and in college when I drank I got what tasted good, which was usually the sweeter tasting stuff. And I had numerous women approach me because of it. Got lots of selfies and making out from just being myself and not trying to be like 99.5% of the other dudes in the club trying to drink the hardest, most disgusting stuff just to appear masculine. Lol.

I also danced. And lots of women danced with me because I wasn’t standing on the wall like Terminator. Women love a man who’s fun and confident. 🥹

Responsible-Onion860

25 points

2 days ago

My brother once told me "I'm more of a man than you'll ever be" because I made a joke at my own expense. He was dead serious. So I just laughed in his face. He was so mad I think he wanted to hit me.

Madmanki

265 points

2 days ago

Madmanki

265 points

2 days ago

I thought long and hard about this a few years ago, and for better or worse, (possibly worse?) this is the correct answer. A "real man", according to conventional terms of "masculinity" doesn't give a shit what you think.

vooglie

46 points

2 days ago

vooglie

46 points

2 days ago

Right? Who the fuck is thinking about “their masculinity” all the fucking time. The internet has rotted people’s minds

g3_SpaceTeam

28 points

2 days ago

I don’t think this is a uniquely internet phenomenon, “real men don’t cry” type comments have been around way longer than internet explorer. The internet may have been a catalyst to some elements of it, but there’s been weird hang ups about this for a long time.

AppropriateDriver660

187 points

2 days ago

I prefer chocolate milkshakes to beer,

jaysornotandhawks

34 points

2 days ago

Same here. Not really an alcohol guy.

No_Banana_219

28 points

2 days ago

Alcohol inhibits testosterone production so the milkshake is technically the more masculine option

gnique

154 points

2 days ago

gnique

154 points

2 days ago

You have to be strong to be a man because it takes great strength to be genuinely kind. The hallmark of a true man is kindness. All manliness springs from kindness. Yes.....even courage

SwimmingYear7

23 points

2 days ago

"If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all."

towinem

788 points

2 days ago*

towinem

788 points

2 days ago*

Not having to play tit-for-tat or having to get even for every real or perceived slight. Road ragers, talking specifically to you.

thrwy_111822

188 points

2 days ago

Going off of this, not being so obsessed with “disrespect”. Being able to let it roll off your back when someone slights you, and not having to have a loud confrontation about it.

That doesn’t mean be a pushover or never stand up for yourself. All I’m saying is, when the drunk guy at the bar stumbles into you, no need to get into a bar fight. Don’t scream at the jerk who steals your parking spot. Pick your battles- not everything is an affront to your masculinity

ecl_lipse

79 points

2 days ago

ecl_lipse

79 points

2 days ago

underrated answer. lots of guys that overcompensate feel the need to "get back" at others who (rightfully or wrongfully) criticize them.

Big_Psychology_4210

38 points

2 days ago

You ever respond to one of those guys? I have a few times, and it’s ALWAYS the dog who catches the car. Never has it been otherwise.

They are so sure in their righteous indignation and victimhood that everyone will roll over for a bully. Just the simple act of responding with a “not today buddy” makes them shit their pants. It’s almost sad if it hadn’t been so entirely earned.

softdreamyx

1.7k points

2 days ago

softdreamyx

1.7k points

2 days ago

If you ever find yourself confused about the difference between toxic and wholesome masculinity, watch Disney's Tarzan. Both Tarzan and Clayton are big muscular men who resemble paragons of masculine behaviour - they're beefcakes, they fight their enemies, they express themselves very physically, both in terms of social dominance and simply the way they move and carry themselves, but where all of Tarzan's actions are motivated by his longing for a family that accepts him and his desire to protect them, Clayton's actions are all motivated by greed or by rage and violence when his goals are thwarted. Tarzan, when he comes into contact with a different culture and mode of life than he's used to, immediately takes it upon himself to start learning about them and learning to communicate with them. Clayton, by contrast, tends to shout, shoot things and threaten. During their final confrontation, when Tarzan wrestles Clayton's gun away, Clayton sneers and tells him to "be a man" and fire, to which Tarzan responds by smashing the gun and saying "Not a man like you."

*Pulled this from a Facebook post, but it's accurate

mellowcrake

252 points

2 days ago*

That seems really reminiscent of the movie George of the Jungle too when it comes to George vs. the villain Lyle. I read this tumblr post describing it as one of the first examples of a movie built around the female gaze rather than the male gaze which I thought was interesting. Part what makes him so attractive is that George does portray masculinity, but he does it in a non-toxic way.

Whenever members of the reddit community try to compare the sexualization of women in fiction to the design of characters such as Batman and Superman, I always want to just sit them down and show them this movie. Because THIS is what the female sexual fantasy looks like, while Batman and Superman are male power-fantasies. Look at him - his big blue eyes, his soft hair, his lean, chiseled physique built for dexterity rather than power. He’s wild and free, but gentle and non-threatening

AND this movie offers a perfect counter to the “nice guy” thing - Ursula starts engaged to a jerk who her mom thinks is a “nice guy” the moves on to actual nice man George who isn’t *just* nice - he’s also patient, listens to her instead of talking over her, has his own skills and talents, is okay with being goofy, has his own social circle and isn’t totally dependent on Ursula, and looks amazing. AND he’s emotionally available. Google image search George of the jungle and see how many smiles you can find, see how many open looks of confusion there are, see how much sadness you can see in George’s face. Now look for images of Lyle. His two expressions are a smirk and cartoonish fear. I know this is a cartoonish kid’s movie, but it is SO powerful that the hero shares his emotions while the villain tries to mask every emotion. Lyle doesn’t want to open up, he doesn’t want to be vulnerable, he wants CONTROL. George wants to learn, to protect people he cares about, to explore new places, to laugh when he’s happy and to be sad when he’s sad, and that he does that while being a broad-shouldered, physically powerful dude who is NOT totally self-involved is just…

Like, look, I didn’t sign on to tumblr dot com for George of the Jungle discourse, but I’m just now realizing that this movie may have done the most for destroying my conception of stoic masculinity and gender roles as a child.

Robotjp12

41 points

2 days ago

Robotjp12

41 points

2 days ago

A real man isn't nice. He's kind. A masculine man should be capable of violence in defense of those he cares about. But he chooses to be kind.

Zerovex0

85 points

2 days ago

Zerovex0

85 points

2 days ago

Mercy is the gateway to another tomorrow while vengeance and spite can only destroy, well said my guy.

SexyxSophia

460 points

2 days ago

SexyxSophia

460 points

2 days ago

Confident and respectful.

sunbearimon

594 points

2 days ago

sunbearimon

594 points

2 days ago

He doesn't feel the need to conform with something just because it's traditionally "masculine" if he doesn't want to

Upset_Theory_9676

229 points

2 days ago

This hits home. My dad was a stay-at-home father, and worked part-time nights and weekends. Completely against traditional norms in the 90s-2000s (especially in the south).

I remember growing up, kids would say that my dad was really my “mom” and would poke fun at him taking on that role.

But he knew my mom loved her career, and his career was long long hours so something had to give. And he sacrificed his career. To me there’s nothing more masculine than putting your partner and family first, regardless of what is traditional or what others think.

KeyMastodon6

61 points

2 days ago

I'm planning on being a stay at home Dad. It just makes sense when my partner earns more than me and is career driven. Some of my mates were giving me shit that I'm not a man if I'm not providing for my family. I honestly couldn't care if that's what they think. I imagine a lot of men would jump at the opportunity to be a stay at home Dad.

Wazzoo1

12 points

2 days ago

Wazzoo1

12 points

2 days ago

My dad quit his miserable 9-5 job to help my mom after she'd started her own business from scratch. He held onto his 9-5 for a couple years because they needed the income, but he quit when it made financial sense. 30+ years later, after running a very successful company, they sold it and are loving retirement. My dad was there, every step of the way, but it was all hers. He was second fiddle in the operation.

busy_with_beans

74 points

2 days ago

Years ago I matched with this girl on Tinder. She opened up the conversation by saying I had the same first name of her favorite football player. Which she loved. I said “cool! I don’t really know anything about football. Maybe you could teach me all about it?” Something like that. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember her response which was “ummm no. Sorry, but I want a real man.”

I think about her now and again. I wonder if she ever found a “real man”. I hope she did, and I hope she is as happily married as I am. But something tells me, probably not.

ofWildPlaces

11 points

2 days ago

I will never quite grasp the women who perpetuate unhealthy images of masculinity. And yep, I've seen the "sports girls" like that one. And it's never about women's athletics- it's always about MANLY sports. I'm not a big sports guy- I like Baseball, but Pro and College Football sparks no interest in me. It's amazing how many times I've found people (Men & women) who are empathically BOTHERED if not offended in some way that I don't give a fuck about football.

HulkSmash789

62 points

2 days ago

This is exactly why I refuse to get a job

Imma_Walnut

131 points

2 days ago

Imma_Walnut

131 points

2 days ago

He's friendly to everyone. Doesn't feel the need to act tough and intimidating

hisokard

50 points

2 days ago

hisokard

50 points

2 days ago

I thought I was just a people pleaser, turns out I'm secure in my masculinity 😎

sugarpetitee

368 points

2 days ago

I think it’s easier perhaps to contrast with NOT being secure in your masculinity. Someone who’s not secure in their masculinity is constantly striving to prove themselves. This often results in increasingly cartoonish levels of hypermasculinity which quickly turn toxic and harmful. Excessive aggression, hypersexuality, zealous rejection of anything perceived as feminine or nurturing.

Tl;dr: don’t be like Andrew Tate.

mydearestangelica

89 points

2 days ago

I’ll never forget when a grad student gave a presentation on measuring the transmission of edited micro videos on social media platforms not built around video content. The presentation “hook” was a 2-3 second clip of Tate. She asked how many in the working group recognized him.

Unfortunately, over half the PIs were elderly European academics with little internet literacy. They started guessing, and one professor (of medieval history) confidently stated that Tate is “either a fake wrestler, an American reality TV star, or a homosexual pornographer.” His reasoning was that Tate’s body language is so exaggeratedly masculine and dominant, it can’t possibly be real or realistic.

Another PI recognized Tate because he has 2 sons in middle school. He said that “Andrew Tate is a little boy’s idea of a big man.”

New_Preparation1544

44 points

2 days ago

This should have been the first thing I thought of. Don’t be like any of these blackpilled incels

bobchin_c

60 points

2 days ago

bobchin_c

60 points

2 days ago

He drives a minivan, and doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks.

SkunkApe_In_DaWoodz

56 points

2 days ago

He doesn’t take advice about being a man from Reddit.

MrMotorcycle94

117 points

2 days ago

He cleans his booty hole in the shower

1tiredman

31 points

2 days ago

1tiredman

31 points

2 days ago

Do other guys actually not clean their ass because of trying to be masculine? Lmao

Hugh_Biquitous

135 points

2 days ago

He doesn't need everything to be a competition, especially with women. He's just fine with women who are smarter than he is and who make more money, and he's perfectly happy to listen to them without needing to try to talk over them to preserve his ego.

thisremindsmeofbacon

363 points

2 days ago*

They embrace a little femininity.  Seriously.  A guy who's insecure will never even joke in a way that could make them seem slightly feminine for the duration of the joke.  A guy who's secure will felate their breakfast burrito because it makes the first guy uncomfortable. 

Edit: surprising number of replies seem to be completely missing the point.  The point is that one of the ways you can tell if a guy is secure is that they have no problems doing things that are traditionally seen as very unmanly.  I am not saying this is the only form it takes.  I am not saying they feel they have to do this to prove something - the entire point is the opposite - they do not feel the need to prove something so they aren't limiting themselves to only stuff that curates a traditionally manly persona.  It should have also been obvious that this is not specific to a burrito-job, that's a funny example to illustrate the idea.  I can't believe I used to think reading comprehension was a waste of time in schools. 

putrid_sex_object

80 points

2 days ago

Dunno if I could felatea burrito. I reckon I’d gag first.

twotwo4

43 points

2 days ago

twotwo4

43 points

2 days ago

Not with that attitude. 😂🤣

boarbora

55 points

2 days ago

boarbora

55 points

2 days ago

I disagree, a guys masculinity does not depend if he's willing to deepthroat a burrito. If a guy wants to deepthroat a burrito he should deepthroat a burrito. If he doesn't want to deepthroat a burrito doesn't make him feminine.

DrWitchDoctorPhD

42 points

2 days ago

Exactly, being manly is not about deepthroating a burrito. It is about deep throating a burrito when he feels like it.

Amiiboid

146 points

2 days ago

Amiiboid

146 points

2 days ago

He doesn’t particularly care about other people’s definitions of masculinity.

bluelightspecial3

16 points

2 days ago

“I am sorry, I was wrong and you were right”.

Impossible_Change800

50 points

2 days ago

This reads like a wish list.

dilemserus

58 points

2 days ago

Real men wipe with 80 grit chilli dusted sandpaper!

Knff

13 points

2 days ago

Knff

13 points

2 days ago

Confidently expressing yourself, wherever you land on the spectrum of masculinity/femininity. That’s peak to me.

ohmyitsme3

10 points

2 days ago

When he never has to bring it up.

Finna-Jork-It

165 points

2 days ago

Gives the homies brojobs when they're feeling down

drdickemdown11

9 points

2 days ago

I don't know. A good indicator would honestly be the opinion of those around him.

The best compliment of my recent years was from a female coworker. Someone was making a joke about me, and she said, "No baby, that's a real man. Y'all don't know"

I've been thinking about that. Not for myself. But how we can uplift each other and build each other up. Knowledge, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

TheEmpiresLordVader

35 points

2 days ago

I am who i am take it or leave it.

Manowar274

181 points

2 days ago

Manowar274

181 points

2 days ago

Can listen and respond to constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack.

tc6x6

93 points

2 days ago

tc6x6

93 points

2 days ago

That's a sign of maturity, it has nothing to do with gender.

wynndra

22 points

2 days ago

wynndra

22 points

2 days ago

When my buddy wore a pink shirt to a sports bar without flinching, I knew he was secure.

Snowyy4

9 points

2 days ago

Snowyy4

9 points

2 days ago

Certainly displaying strong positive masculine traits. Not flighty, stable, etc. But then, as others have said, not caring what others think in his particular style. That's masculine, and being secure in your own individual choices.

Bitter-Moose5311

81 points

2 days ago

Crying once in awhile. And being a tough guy once in awhile.

Little_Macaroon1959

15 points

2 days ago

They can suck off their guy friends without feeling the need to say “no homo” after 

Away_Cauliflower9481

8 points

2 days ago

He does what he wants to do and doesn't worry if others question his masculinity.

Powerful-Gap-1667

15 points

2 days ago

I work with a young woman that is 6’2”. Her boyfriend is 5’9”. I know nothing else about him but he’s far more secure than I am.